How aware are you of your relational behaviors? vibes?

[jucurious]

I ask this after reading many threads and of course personal experience. I mean was it really all the other person?

Yeah that relationship went bad but how did you contribute to it?...that can include being an enabler, not sticking to your guns, talk with no action, saying too much or nothing at all.

Do you find a pattern in your relationships? When was the last time you checked yourself? Do you believe in the common denominator rule?

Who do you want to attract and who do you end up with? What have you learned from your last relationships about yourself? What improvements have you made?

let's talk and be real

 

[Iron]

I am too cynical.

I question love and affection.

Negative thoughts come out as dry and sarcastic jokes that attack peoples insecurities.

I go into hermit mode.

I get bored easily with the person I'am with.

I am a big flirt.

I get highly offended when someone tells me I can't do something.

 

[Hellfish]

I am too cynical.

I question love and affection.

Negative thoughts come out as dry and sarcastic jokes that attack peoples insecurities.

I go into hermit mode.

I get bored easily with the person I'am with.

I am a big flirt.

I get highly offended when someone tells me I can't do something.

Was we separated at birth That's me to the letter.

Also I'm very private, There for asking me certain questions will get you short vague answers.

I do have a dating pattern. I seem to get evolved with feisty woman. It has to do with the fact that I'm easily bored, so I like a lady who can spice things up every now and then.

 

[Izayoi]

I am too cynical.

I question love and affection.

Negative thoughts come out as dry and sarcastic jokes that attack peoples insecurities.

I go into hermit mode.

I get bored easily with the person I'am with.

I am a big flirt.

I get highly offended when someone tells me I can't do something.

Kindred!

I check myself all the time because I really believe you get back what you give. I learned a lot about being more honest and genuine in my last relationship. I think I have much better equilibrium and perspective about a lot of things (some things I'm still hurting over as was recently bought to my attention by a particular someone ). Overall though I believe I have broken a pattern of half-assing my relationships and a general detachment.

I try to be the person I would like to marry--I think you have to go about breaking your bad relationship habits from that perspective.

If you can't grow then you really aren't living.

 

[SWATLANTA]

I am also a cynic
I have trust issues
I am sarcastic
I'm a little jealous...
I need space when I want it and attention when I want it...
I will call out a lie in a minute
I'm stubborn




flipside
I'll give my last to make it work
I am thoughtful (let me tell it )
I have your back to the end if I feel you have mine
We will laugh all the time
We'll never be broke
I'm spontaneous
I'll never bad mouth my ex if we break up

 

[Eva Hornae]

from my last relationship, i learned that i will not tolerate a man talking down to me by using profanity or any other derogatory words, etc.

I'll accept that i am wrong and we can move on ASAP from there. If I have to compromise i WILL given reason.

I have grown from a caterpillar into an emerging butterfly, meaning i will always have to be free to be me regardless of what, i get bored easily, so the person who attracts me or i'm attracted to have to bonk in and out with me at times

 

[Eva Hornae]

If you can't grow then you really aren't living.

Miss, you HIT the nail right on the head!

 

[Eva Hornae]

Was we separated at birth That's me to the letter.

Also I'm very private, There for asking me certain questions will get you short vague answers.

I do have a dating pattern. I seem to get evolved with feisty woman. It has to do with the fact that I'm easily bored, so I like a lady who can spice things up every now and then.

that's the thing, how long are you gonna tolerate these "feisty women"?


in order for a relationship to work, one HAS to recognize his or her weaknesses and combat it before you move on into another relationship.


know thyself and always be true.


p.s. i'm not being harsh or anything, just being a bit observant.

 

[Hellfish]

that's the thing, how long are you gonna tolerate these "feisty women"?


in order for a relationship to work, one HAS to recognize his or her weaknesses and combat it before you move on into another relationship.


know thyself and always be true.


p.s. i'm not being harsh or anything, just being a bit observant.

Your absolutely right. I know that there can be no future in dealing with these types of women. I've known for some time that I am in need of serious emotional & behavioral growth.

 

[followup]

I ask this after reading many threads and of course personal experience. I mean was it really all the other person?

Yeah that relationship went bad but how did you contribute to it?...that can include being an enabler, not sticking to your guns, talk with no action, saying too much or nothing at all.

Do you find a pattern in your relationships? When was the last time you checked yourself? Do you believe in the common denominator rule?

Who do you want to attract and who do you end up with? What have you learned from your last relationships about yourself? What improvements have you made?

let's talk and be real

I was just thinking about this the other day. Maybe it will help to put it out there and get some feedback.

Usually everything will be going O.K. The dude will be really feeling me and I'll be into him. Lots of dates & lots of kicking it over each other's place (usually no sex). Then all of a sudden the calls stop coming. I give one courtesy call to see what's up. And the relationship is over in a matter of time--usually 2 months. My longest relationship has been 3 months. I always want to know what I'm doing (if I'm even doing something) to make them run in the opposite direction, but if the guys don't come out and tell me what's up how am I going to know? I wouldn't say I'm afraid of relationships now, but I am no longer interested in them because it's not worth the letdown at the end.

I attract all different types of men, sometimes old as dirt, sometimes my age. I have dated cocky guys and shy guys. It doesn't seem to make a difference. It's the same thing every time. I assumed that if they didn't get sex in the first month then they jetted, but I hope they are not that superficial. Any ideas?

 

[Iron]

Yeah that whole no sex part...yeah that's the problem.

 

[Iron]

Was we separated at birth That's me to the letter.

Also I'm very private, There for asking me certain questions will get you short vague answers.

Hit the nail on the head. I am very private also.

That's one of the most annoying things. When someone ask me about my personal relationships past or present.

They get this face. or I'll tell 'em that's private info and it stays between me and them.

 

[DeSiRe]

i require a great deal of attention
i have trust issues
im very passionate about things i love...and also things i hate
im very guarded towards the beginning of relationships
i HATE being told "no" and im somewhat spoiled
im inquisitive by nature so i always ask alot of questions
i hate assuming things in a relationship
telling me i cant do something makes me want to do it more
i have a great deal of pride so i hesitate to show vunerablity and hate to ask for things

those are the ones i have identified but i know there is more...id love to know more

how do you all identify these issues aside from just experience and trial and error

 

[followup]

Yeah that whole no sex part...yeah that's the problem.

Well I guess I'm gonna be single my whole life cuz I'm not screwing somebody I've only known a month

 

[jucurious]

I am also a cynic
I have trust issues
I am sarcastic
I'm a little jealous...
I need space when I want it and attention when I want it...
I will call out a lie in a minute
I'm stubborn




flipside
I'll give my last to make it work
I am thoughtful (let me tell it )
I have your back to the end if I feel you have mine
We will laugh all the time
We'll never be broke
I'm spontaneous
I'll never bad mouth my ex if we break up

ME TOO! especially the bad mouthing thing. i was feeli him throughout the relationship so im not gonna stunt on him now that its over. i HATE when ppl do that. i chalk it up as a learning experience.

i require a great deal of attention
i have trust issues
im very passionate about things i love...and also things i hate
im very guarded towards the beginning of relationships
i HATE being told "no" and im somewhat spoiled
im inquisitive by nature so i always ask alot of questions
i hate assuming things in a relationship
telling me i cant do something makes me want to do it more
i have a great deal of pride so i hesitate to show vunerablity and hate to ask for things

those are the ones i have identified but i know there is more...id love to know more

how do you all identify these issues aside from just experience and trial and error

^ ME TOO AGAIN. oh yeah..i know from trial n error, what i've been told by other people and then situations proving them right..haha

Well I guess I'm gonna be single my whole life cuz I'm not screwing somebody I've only known a month

i know that's right...regardless of time frame, it's whenever your ready...but i have to ask. are u giving off "sex" vibes unintentionally?

i say that b/c i'm a BIG flirt, i LOVE to flirt (blame the scorpio in me) but i had to check myself b/c ppl can get confused and form expectations that were not the intentions of ur flirting. i've learned that you gotta feel a person's flirt level out. some ppl i can't really flirt with cuz i know that me throwin them a smile will translate into me wanting to sex them....while others, we can talks all types of crazy and they know its in good fun (with a lil bit of pure curiousity of course)

 

[jucurious]

oh yeah my turn!

-i am extremely sarcastic borderline asshole
-i can be very touchy feely
-i love attention but my past relationships show the EXACT opposite
-ummm i'm silly but serious when i need to be
-i have a tendency to get upset when ppl ask for my support, get it and then bullshit..and that will result in me digging in ur ass verbally
-i WILL call you out
-i WILL voice how i feel and give u proof and if u EVER bring anything to the table i need proof (yeah i know, i'm working on it)
-i get bored hella easily. if u give into everything i say or do, have limited conversation, or i see what i consider negative patterns forming, i will nix the relationship ASAP


-i LIKE, LUST and LOVE intelligent conversation..OMG! that is the biggest turn on...so having a nice verbal exchange, a teaching or learning moment is the SEXIEST thing to me...and it could be about a wide variety of topics so if u can't hang ur out of here.
-i am a lil spoiled
-i don't like jewlery and all that stuff, and guys actually get mad...i wont stuff that takes more effort and is more sensual and stuff...u know...notes, cooking together (that is sexy and fun), just being in each others arms, poems, go out every once and a while.
-i hate when dudes try to be all extra flashy
-i can be judgemental
-i am very ambitious and i expect my man to be the same

-i tend to like a good boy with a lil bad in him
-i like men who are a lil aggressive cuz i'm aggressive
-i LOVE a challenge but i think that, i present so much of a challenge to the point that it instead of the dude tryna to get w/ me cuz he likes me...it turns into...imma be the dude to conquer her resistence type thing (yeah..i need to ponder about that)
-i am insecure about my weight

damn this list is long...i'm done for now

 

[CT's Finest]

I think it's good to analyze oneself from time to time to see how our own behavior effects our situation. I'm glad to see other people on the board do it as well...

Here are a couple things about me.

I can be:
1.cynical
2.sarcastic
3.aloof (I'm an Aquarius)
4.(brutally) honest, but fair. I also think timing is very important so I might bit my tongue if the situation calls for it.
5.quiet (at times), because I like to observe my surroundings
6.outspoken
7.loyal


There are a bunch of other things I could add, but I'll cut it here for now...

 

[jucurious]

- one of the major vibes i give off is mystery, especially sexual mystery
i guess b/c early in the relationships and even how i carry myself in general...i don't get too personal. if u tell me all of ur sexual likes and don't likes, ok i guess but i don't feel its necessary to share mine (yeah i know that bothers some ppl). also, because i will talk about everything under the sun, and i will talk about relationships but once u start askin me, what's my favorite position, have u tried this do u like that kind of stuff and i'll give u an answer which makes u think i'm answering u but really not.

also, i ran into this dude i went to h.s. with and in the midst of talkin he brought up that he thought i was cute but i was out of his league, which shocked the hell out of me. then he talked about how i always licked my lips and how i have nice lips and how that always had him thinking b/cuz i was/am a good girl but something about me seemed sexual.


hahaha

ok im done

 

[followup]

i say that b/c i'm a BIG flirt, i LOVE to flirt (blame the scorpio in me) but i had to check myself b/c ppl can get confused and form expectations that were not the intentions of ur flirting. i've learned that you gotta feel a person's flirt level out. some ppl i can't really flirt with cuz i know that me throwin them a smile will translate into me wanting to sex them....while others, we can talks all types of crazy and they know its in good fun (with a lil bit of pure curiousity of course)

I'm not a big flirt, but I like to kiss and tongue a brother down when I'm having sex. It makes me sick to think about kissing someone I don't know. And tell me this: why if a man is just a jump off is he trying to be kissing me and shit? What is that about?

 

[jucurious]

I'm not a big flirt, but I like to kiss and tongue a brother down when I'm having sex. It makes me sick to think about kissing someone I don't know. And tell me this: why if a man is just a jump off is he trying to be kissing me and shit? What is that about?

wait..so are u having sex with the guys that up and leave after a month or two or not? now im confused...

 

[AlexandMorgan]

I am fascinated it seems with only seeing the good things in women or hoping that the potential i see can be developed. I trust too much too fast sometimes and it backfires on me sometimes.

I can be very cynical and i now have some trust issues i did not have before. I either care too much or not enough. I can be moody and selfish when it strikes me but i can also be overly generous.

Oh yeah and i am way too open and honest with people.

 

[jucurious]

good stuff ppl

i know some of this is hard for ppl to admit cuz...well its hard but sharing is caring and sometimes we need it spelled out for us so.....

bump

 

[Chicutie]

Do you find a pattern in your relationships?
I don't think I have a pattern in relationships per se. I notice that usually when I meet someone it normally turns out to be a long term thing, never short term. Other than that. . . I can't really see any patterns.


When was the last time you checked yourself?
Everyday. I realized from my last relationship there was a lot of growing I needed to do before I could make someone else happy.


What have you learned from your last relationships about yourself?
I learned a lot about myself from my last relationship.
I learned:
-Sometimes I jump to conclusion about others thoughts and feelings without asking them if it's true.
-That sometimes I'm quiet or distant and people take it to mean that I'm angry.
-That it's initially for someone to gain my trust.
-That I still had anger/resentment from past relationships.
-That sometimes it's hard for me to realize when I'm wrong.
-That sometimes I overlook thoughtfulness as a norm.
-That when I love, I love hard.
-That I will try to work things out even when it's not worth it.

What improvements have you made?
I realize I have a lot to work on which is why I'm not dating at all. I think that for a while I was jumping from relationship to relationship and I wasn't giving myself a chance to think and to just be alone for a while. Right now I am just trying to learn more about myself and how I treat others and make improvements on a day to day basis.

 

[followup]

wait..so are u having sex with the guys that up and leave after a month or two or not? now im confused...

No. Male friends who I have never dated over the years

 

[AristotlesOwn]

I'm very aware of how I behave and the vibes I give off.

The number one behavior that I have when dealing with relationships is that I get bored easily. Like many guys, my thoughts tend to drift towards the 'next best thing' or an upgrade from what I have now...like if I had a 720p HDTV but I saw a 1080p plasma with a bazillion HDMI inputs. That 720p was a frugal investment and is faithful and sturdy, but I just have to have the prettier picture even if it means more fees and maintainance.

I choose to stay out of relationships for various reasons, but that can also backfire because women tend to be drawn to you when you tell them that. Oh well, what can you do?

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

I'm very aware of how I behave and the vibes I give off.

The number one behavior that I have when dealing with relationships is that I get bored easily. Like many guys, my thoughts tend to drift towards the 'next best thing' or an upgrade from what I have now...like if I had a 720p HDTV but I saw a 1080p plasma with a bazillion HDMI inputs. That 720p was a frugal investement and is faithful and sturdy, but I just have to have the prettier picture even if it means more fees and maintanence.

I choose to stay out of relationships for various reasons, but that can also backfire because women tend to be drawn to you when you tell them that. Oh well, what can you do?

Damn thats messed up. If I were in that situation I would always be worried about when you were going to leave to find an upgrade. Do you know why you get bored so quickly??

 

[AristotlesOwn]

Damn thats messed up. If I were in that situation I would always be worried about when you were going to leave to find an upgrade. Do you know why you get bored so quickly??

Youthful ignorance, easily giving into my lustful inclinations, and fear of being hurt, all of which I'm slowly trying to remedy. Considering a woman's emotions without just sparing mine is something I've been working on, because there was a time where in my mind I would say "I'm tired of this toy...oh look a new one!". Extremely fucked up, yes, but I'm learning to see value beyond a few months of pleasure.

For now though, I'd rather forgo relationships and spare a woman's mental state because it is relatively simple for me to find a chink in a woman's armor and exploit it to suit my needs/wants. Taking a woman's greatest insecurity and turning into her greatest strength is something I do well, and I am usually well rewarded.

 

[bigirl]

*sigh* .... I have been guilty of giving WAY too much and then when it is either not reciprocated nor appreciated I get VEX. I am trying to be more selfish and aloof now.

 

[Izayoi]

Youthful ignorance, easily giving into my lustful inclinations, and fear of being hurt, all of which I'm slowly trying to remedy. Considering a woman's emotions without just sparing mine is something I've been working on, because there was a time where in my mind I would say "I'm tired of this toy...oh look a new one!". Extremely fucked up, yes, but I'm learning to see value beyond a few months of pleasure.

For now though, I'd rather forgo relationships and spare a woman's mental state because it is relatively simple for me to find a chink in a woman's armor and exploit it to suit my needs/wants. Taking a woman's greatest insecurity and turning into her greatest strength is something I do well, and I am usually well rewarded.

Very honest and self aware response.

 

[PrincessC]

I try to check myself all the time. I now know that I will never be able to change a man, so the only moving part left is me. I try not to take past relationships with me going forward, but somethings will always leave a mark.

I broke up with my ex because he wasn't mature enough. Some of the things that I loved about him in the beginning were the exact things to break us apart in the end.

In the past I've dated men that were the polar opposite of me. I've learned now that just doesn't work for me. I am making a conscious effort to date men that I have more in common with now.

 

[DDDiva]

I ask this after reading many threads and of course personal experience. I mean was it really all the other person?

Yeah that relationship went bad but how did you contribute to it?...that can include being an enabler, not sticking to your guns, talk with no action, saying too much or nothing at all.

Do you find a pattern in your relationships? When was the last time you checked yourself? Do you believe in the common denominator rule?

Who do you want to attract and who do you end up with? What have you learned from your last relationships about yourself? What improvements have you made?

let's talk and be real

-I do require a lot of attention
-stubborn
-when I feel you pulling away emotionally or if something changes out the blue, I pull away too, but only sexually which only increases the rift between us
-i need to learn when to let things go, whether it be an issue or the relationship itself. i need to realize i can't fix everything
-i'm giving/nurturing by nature, but I need to realize how much to give and when.
-sarcastic/cynical
-trust issues
-sometimes I can't let things be what they are and ride it out
-I'm still a kid at heart. I can be serious when I need to be, but sometimes that "childish" side of me can make me seem like I'm still childish mentally, when it's just that I don't take everything too seriously because it stresses me out.

my last relationship didn't go back. we parted on friendly terms. He realized that the attention required in a relationship wasn't what he wanted right now and I can't do anything but respect that. But I think I contributed to the demise of the relationship by initiating it, instead of just letting things go where they may. But it really wasn't anyone's fault. we were also in 2 different places in our lives.

No pattern; my last was totally different from the relationship before. My first long term relationship started off when I was young, from my teenage years into womanhood and it taught me a lot. I still check myself daily because I'm still learning about me (I'm 23 with a lot of learning/screwing up to do) and the quiet time I do have (which is a lot) i use for self inflection. My long term relationship didn't end well, and because I was still at a young and impressionable time in my life, it broke me. I didn't know myself. But it taught me how to see those red flags and how to act accordingly. But my last relationship did teach me what I do deserve and what I will not settle for/compromise.

Do i attract what I want? Yes, I do now. Before, no. I've made a few adjustments to my surroundings, attitude, and my way of thinking and I'm slowly yet surely seeing the different in the type of people I attract, male and female...friendships and otherwise. Right now, I'm all about having positive people in my space.

 

[Eva Hornae]

-I do require a lot of attention
-stubborn
-when I feel you pulling away emotionally or if something changes out the blue, I pull away too, but only sexually which only increases the rift between us
-i need to learn when to let things go, whether it be an issue or the relationship itself. i need to realize i can't fix everything
-i'm giving/nurturing by nature, but I need to realize how much to give and when.
-sarcastic/cynical
-trust issues
-sometimes I can't let things be what they are and ride it out
-I'm still a kid at heart. I can be serious when I need to be, but sometimes that "childish" side of me can make me seem like I'm still childish mentally, when it's just that I don't take everything too seriously because it stresses me out.

my last relationship didn't go back. we parted on friendly terms. He realized that the attention required in a relationship wasn't what he wanted right now and I can't do anything but respect that. But I think I contributed to the demise of the relationship by initiating it, instead of just letting things go where they may. But it really wasn't anyone's fault. we were also in 2 different places in our lives.

No pattern; my last was totally different from the relationship before. My first long term relationship started off when I was young, from my teenage years into womanhood and it taught me a lot. I still check myself daily because I'm still learning about me (I'm 23 with a lot of learning/screwing up to do) and the quiet time I do have (which is a lot) i use for self inflection. My long term relationship didn't end well, and because I was still at a young and impressionable time in my life, it broke me. I didn't know myself. But it taught me how to see those red flags and how to act accordingly. But my last relationship did teach me what I do deserve and what I will not settle for/compromise.

Do i attract what I want? Yes, I do now. Before, no. I've made a few adjustments to my surroundings, attitude, and my way of thinking and I'm slowly yet surely seeing the different in the type of people I attract, male and female...friendships and otherwise. Right now, I'm all about having positive people in my space.

Indeed!

 

[GET YOU HOT]

^^^scarredadat^^^


I'm Miss Happy Go Lucky, Good Lovin', Miss Feelgood, Caliente, Always There When You Call...

>>>til' mister nogood, fucks with the vibe, then I hear a ol' '70s rock singer "You're as cold as ice, you're willing to sacrifice our love..."




[FLASH]http://www.youtube.com/v/KWDj_2QxdoQ&rel=1[/FLASH]

 

[Cleopatra_J]

MY last relationship was probably my most serious one.. and now that its over I realized I learned a lot about myself from it and even from the breakup...

But since then I know that when I meet new guys I tend to get the same responses... I can be a little too standoffish and thats not good.. People say they can't read me and guys don't like not knowing that... I heard being "too cool" can be a bad thing... So idk.. I mean no one likes the girl who gets attached too quickly (cuz I know I'm weary of people who get attached too quick) so I guess it's all about finding that balance. But once I do open up.. I'm pretty cool.. I give relationships my all... I love hard.. but I also can be pretty vicious when pushed to the limit..I'd say some of the harshest shit to my ex in a heavy argument.

 

[black again]

Forcing yourself to answer questions like these save you thousands of dollars and countless hours in an analyst's office. Whew! Here goes. I'm wayyy too impulsive, too spoiled. There's defiitely a pattern, especially in the types of women I'm attracted to. Being aware of that, and a lot of time, allowed me to change that aspect. Who would I like to attract? ALL WOMEN!! That's a huge problem in itself..I know, it's stupid. I used to say, I couldn't have one woman if I wanted all women. However, I END UP..with very sweet women looking for their soulmate. I suppose, I learned to be more cognizant of why I'm making certain choices in the relationship, and a few other things I'll be thinking about the rest of the nite.