Have you had enough stamina/endurance to go the distance...

thighsneyez22

thighsneyez22

Back for the First Time
BGOL Investor
in a long distance relationship?

I am curious if anyone here has ever had a long distance relationship work out (marriage or still with that person to date).

If so, tell me what worked for you two. How did you get through and beat the odds that normal relationships don't even stand up to?

If unsuccessful with an LDR, what went wrong? Would you ever try one again?

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Yeah I've done it and it takes much sacrifice to make it work. Regular communication is the main key but also the ability to control your urges. To ignore the temptations that are everywhere. Its not eazy and it would take an exceptional woman for me to do it again.
 
Mo-Better said:
Its not eazy and it would take an exceptional woman for me to do it again.
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so it hasnt worked out for you...Im sorry to hear that.

hmmm this word 'easy'....it bothers me... I cant put my finger on why...I guess maybe because if I knew that it wasn't 'easy' or natural for a guy to be with me I wouldn't want him to be.

add all the other challenges of an LDR and that clearly recipe for disaster...
 
Takes alot of TRUST!!! and communication to keep a Long Distance relationship going, my experience....Started off good but the urges and trust, and not knowing what the other person was doing got to me and her....I wouldn't do it again

But I do know 2 couples who met online, met after a year or 2 and 1 couple is married and the other couple they are engaged with there 1st child on the way,

hope it works out for you
 
Kaine3000 said:
But I do know 2 couples who met online, met after a year or 2 and 1 couple is married and the other couple they are engaged with there 1st child on the way,

hope it works out for you
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wow...nothing like hearing success stories...now if you could only get them on here to share their secrets lol.
 
thighsneyez22 said:
so it hasnt worked out for you...Im sorry to hear that.

hmmm this word 'easy'....it bothers me... I cant put my finger on why...I guess maybe because if I knew that it wasn't 'easy' or natural for a guy to be with me I wouldn't want him to be.

add all the other challenges of an LDR and that clearly recipe for disaster...
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Actually that did workout, the relationship broke down long after it was no longer a long distance relationship. That's another story.

There are challenges and that is why I wouldn't jump at another one or either suggest anyone else to. The problem is emotional commitments must be equal by both partners.

If one person is making the sacrifice while the other is out enjoying life, going to concerts, elegant dances, receiving gifts, the other person can't feel the commitment is equal to their own. Here's an example.

This one girl I knew called me up crying about her boyfriend broke up with her. She supposedly had met this guy through her girl friend. She claimed they were just business partners. They shared the same type business. Well her girlfriend sometimes would get concert tickets and would invite this girl along with her brother to the concert with her and her boyfriend. Well when this type thing starts to become the norm men usually want more. According to this girl. They had never had sex together or anything like that but she did kiss him. :rolleyes: Yet this dude presented her with an engagement ring. I'm like and all you did was kiss? That was some kiss. She didn't accept it but she told her boyfriend about it and gave him an ultimatum so her dumped her. I'm like what would you expect. So yeah its tough when the commitment is not equal. I did tell her she blew it with the ultimatum.:smh:
 
Yeah, good points Mo, but I definitely think it can work even the urges (webcam and phone sex can at least take the edge off). My best friend and her man did the long distance thing for about 3 years and now they are getting married soon. They are both outgoing and didn't sit at home crying over it. It was just what they had to do for their careers. I also think it helps to have a realistic don't ask, don't tell policy! Even a platonic "date" with a friend of the opposite sex is going to get blown up in the mind of the other person in a LDR. Best just leave the speculating alone, keep communication open, and plane fare handy.
 
Long distance relationships are like having a man in jail and you take that time out for conjugal visits.

Been there and done that. NEVER AGAIN.
 
Shadow said:
I know where you're going. You can elaborate on it if you like. Might help people here who are interested in what to do/what not to do to sustain a LDR.
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Well clearly long distance relationships don't work if one party doesn't communicate via email, IM or phone calls.:hmm:

And if you can't afford weekly visits or don't like to travel then really all you have is a jailbird lover.
 
Mo-Better said:
According to this girl. They had never had sex together or anything like that but she did kiss him. :rolleyes: Yet this dude presented her with an engagement ring. I'm like and all you did was kiss?
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I believe something more than kissing was going on...now also maybe she was giving off vibes while around this guys that she was actually feeling for her bf, but since he wasnt there, he was not able to feel them.
 
Izayoi said:
I also think it helps to have a realistic don't ask, don't tell policy! Best just leave the speculating alone, keep communication open, and plane fare handy.
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...Another gem, Izzy... (Ive gotten many from you here lately (wink)...

As for the "date" thing...this is so wrong but I feel like it would be ok for a girl to do it but not a guy...guys need to keep themselves from temptation- sometimes commitment is not enough to stay committed unless you are vigilant and resist the very appearance of evil... (think Doug Christie)...does anyone else feel the same way?
 
femmenoire said:
Long distance relationships are like having a man in jail... NEVER AGAIN.
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Almost like a man in jail...that you can talk to whenever no matter where in the world you go with services like vonage..."see" almost whenever with sites like www.tokbox.com... drop little notes to him that will reach their cellphone with sites like www.txtdrop.com (and the cool thing about it is when they respond it goes to your email).

I guess it is all about the two people's perspectives...no?

My main thing is people do what they want to do...as with anything...if you really want to do it, then there are ways and mentalities that will allow you to do so.

*but I must concur the sexual frustration/lack of touching is enough of a crucible to make anyone think twice about whether or not it is really worth it*
 
bigirl said:
Drove me insane. Way too constantly frustrating.
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Thats pretty much the recipe to create a nuclear bomb relationship-wise there- mix frustration with hormones raging and mix in a smidgen of distrust, count to 5 and then before you know it... KABLEWWWWWY!

I am guessing no part of this LDR had any good aspects in terms of overcoming the distance...if I am wrong and you think of any please share.
 
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