Have you ever been in love with 2 people at the same time?

[femmenoire]

I was reading something on MSN about it.

I've never been but have heard lots of women say that they have. I personally don't think it's really possible, especially not for men.

 

[Ming Fei Hong]

I was reading something on MSN about it.

I've never been but have heard lots of women say that they have. I personally don't think it's really possible, especially not for men.

Well, I'm all man and trust me... it happens.

 

[bigirl]

i don't even know if i have ever been in love with one person

 

[DigitalAngel2007]

Yeah, three

Me
Myself
and I


j/k no seriously I think it's impossible. Basically your love for the first wouldn't allow you to feel that way about someone else (unless you fall out of love with the current). Hence, you can't obtain a new love while fully loving another.

Unless of course you love them differenty and not COMPLETELY that's a different story.

 

[Rythm]

You have to spend a lot of time with someone to really fall in love (not infatuation)with them. So if you do fall in love with two people you've been cheating on at least one of them.

 

[DarkCity]

j/k no seriously I think it's impossible. Basically your love for the first wouldn't allow you to feel that way about someone else (unless you fall out of love with the current). Hence, you can't obtain a new love while fully loving another.

Thats actually a great point because I have been in that situation. And that is exactly how I would explain it. But the worst part is when you know you have to hurt someone to spare the other and are forced to decide which one let go. They usually don't take it well.

 

[Ming Fei Hong]

You have to spend a lot of time with someone to really fall in love (not infatuation)with them. So if you do fall in love with two people you've been cheating on at least one of them.

Not if all 3 of you are single and free to see whomever you please. And it's not the quantity of time, but the quality time that digs the hole for lovers to fall into.

Also, just like loving more than just one of your children, family members, friends etc... People are fully capable of building romantic bonds with multiple partners. The concept of monogomy is a fairly new one that mankind adapted on the tail end of Judeo Christianity. Yet still, most of the prophets and major biblical figures in the Bible had multiple wives.

Even those of us who do not subscribe to Christianity in it's orthodox form are still heavily influenced by the social values, morals and standrds founded on Christian principles in this country. Thus the knowledge and practice of polyamorous relationships/emtional capacity has been lost on the societal shuffle. IMO

 

[Jam_Jam]

I believe you can love as many people as your heart can hold, but being really deeply "in love" with two people is unlikely. There are varying degrees of love that you can feel for two people at one time. But no two people ever love each other exactly the same and you are not going to love two people with the same amount of intensity. You may believe that you do, but you don't. You actually are just having "feelings" for two people.

 

[DigitalAngel2007]

Not if all 3 of you are single and free to see whomever you please. And it's not the quantity of time, but the quality time that digs the hole for lovers to fall into.

Also, just like loving more than just one of your children, family members, friends etc... People are fully capable of building romantic bonds with multiple partners. The concept of monogomy is a fairly new one that mankind adapted on the tail end of Judeo Christianity. Yet still, most of the prophets and major biblical figures in the Bible had multiple wives.

Even those of us who do not subscribe to Christianity in it's orthodox form are still heavily influenced by the social values, morals and standrds founded on Christian principles in this country. Thus the knowledge and practice of polyamorous relationships/emtional capacity has been lost on the societal shuffle. IMO

How can you be single and dating freely while being in love and being loved by someone else? (unless your referring to swinging which I know nothing about)

 

[Machete]

It's possible to love two people at the same time. I've been in that situation, actually I am in that situation now. Just because you love one person, doesn't necessarily negate your ability to have feelings for someone else. It happens.

 

[Jam_Jam]

Not if all 3 of you are single and free to see whomever you please. And it's not the quantity of time, but the quality time that digs the hole for lovers to fall into.

Also, just like loving more than just one of your children, family members, friends etc... People are fully capable of building romantic bonds with multiple partners. The concept of monogomy is a fairly new one that mankind adapted on the tail end of Judeo Christianity. Yet still, most of the prophets and major biblical figures in the Bible had multiple wives.

Even those of us who do not subscribe to Christianity in it's orthodox form are still heavily influenced by the social values, morals and standrds founded on Christian principles in this country. Thus the knowledge and practice of polyamorous relationships/emtional capacity has been lost on the societal shuffle. IMO

This is true, but polygamous relationships benefit men, not women. Polygamy was founded on the principle that a man must be able to support all of his wives. These days, a lot of men can't even support themselves, let alone, multiple women. The Quran says "One wife is best for you if you but knew" yet many muslim men in African and Arab countries have multiple wives. In America, most women are not psychologically programmed to accept sharing their men and men are not financially equipped to support multiple women.

 

[DigitalAngel2007]

It's possible to love two people at the same time. I've been in that situation, actually I am in that situation now. Just because you love one person, doesn't necessarily negate your ability to have feelings for someone else. It happens.

I don't need your kind of love....
How can you love someone and actively break their heart intenionally?
As I said before you can wake up one day not notice your falling out of love and as you leave your house fall for someone else. But I don't believe you can be at the height of your relationship and allow someone else in your heart. If you've ever truly loved someone you'd know. (This doesn't apply to a love that has waned overtime to where your basically living as roommates)

 

[Ming Fei Hong]

How can you be single and dating freely while being in love and being loved by someone else? (unless your referring to swinging which I know nothing about)

You can love multiple people while not dating anyone of them... Love is not partially defined by our actions, but not confined by our actions.

As I stated before love and monogamy are not a package deal. The majority of time that mankind has existed we've not been monogamous. Monogamy is not a natural human instinct, it's a learned behaviour... a product of hurture, not nature. Love on the other hand IS on of nature's inherent insticts (though it comes in many form, beyond just romantic).

This discussion will quickly become a matter of lofty idealism vs pragmatic realism. Love is not the Halmark Card experience we've been taught it is... It's a natural instinct instilled in humans, which serves in the natural selection process of procreation and survival of our breed. I know that's not Shakespear, but it's scientifically supported.

 

[Ming Fei Hong]

This is true, but polygamous relationships benefit men, not women. Polygamy was founded on the principle that a man must be able to support all of his wives. These days, a lot of men can't even support themselves, let alone, multiple women. The Quran says "One wife is best for you if you but knew" yet many muslim men in African and Arab countries have multiple wives. In America, most women are not psychologically programmed to accept sharing their men and men are not financially equipped to support multiple women.

I'm not talking about the system of Polygamy, which only capitolizes off mankind's natural instincts in an often perverted manner. Much like the institution of marriage made mockery of humans natural pack mentality. I was referring to being Polyamorous. Polygamous and Polyamorous aren't the same thing. Just like marriage and monogamy are not the same thing, though they are often paired together. Polygamy is some thing you're conditioned to do. Being Polyamorous is something you instinctively are. Action vs Instinct. Like I said... science is science.

 

[Machete]

I don't need your kind of love....
How can you love someone and actively break their heart intentionally?
As I said before you can wake up one day not notice your falling out of love and as you leave your house fall for someone else. But I don't believe you can be at the height of your relationship and allow someone else in your heart. If you've ever truly loved someone you'd know. (This doesn't apply to a love that has waned overtime to where your basically living as roommates)

That doesn't make sense, you're assuming that love of one person detracts from your ability to love other people. That never happens. Just because it hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean that it isn't possible.

I never mentioned anything about breaking someone's heart, I wasn't talking about specific situation. I was speaking of the possibilities. I know that it's a possibility because it has happened to me. Again, just because it hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean that it isn't possible.

And, don't assume that I haven't "truly loved someone", because my experiences differ from yours. You're just pulling that out ya ass cuz you're offended by the question.

EDIT: oh, and I never offered you my love.

 

[Alderuhen]

What a pity ! I'm both in Love with Jam_Jam & Femme noire...

 

[HoneyDip]

i've never been but i think its possible. the love you might have for the first would stop you from doin intimate things with the second but there still might be things you hate about the first that might make you love the second. the first could be a flirt which will make you mad but the second one may only be devoted to you which makes you love him. its just like loving all your friends for different reasons

 

[Ming Fei Hong]

What a pity ! I'm both in Love with Jam_Jam & Femme noire...

 

[Izayoi]

i don't even know if i have ever been in love with one person

Then you probably haven't . It's definitely a different feeling than anything else.

So my answer: Yes, I thought I was in love with 2 at the same time, but in retrospect I was in love with one and loving the other- different men, different levels of intimacy.

I do think its possible. Everybody gives of his or herself a little differently. If you are the kind to give your all to one person, then polyamory is not likely for you, but it can work for someone that naturally has a different attitude about love.

 

[Rythm]

I think we have different ideas about love

 

[femmenoire]

Then you probably haven't . It's definitely a different feeling than anything else.

So my answer: Yes, I thought I was in love with 2 at the same time, but in retrospect I was in love with one and loving the other- different men, different levels of intimacy.

I do think its possible. Everybody gives of his or herself a little differently. If you are the kind to give your all to one person, then polyamory is not likely for you, but it can work for someone that naturally has a different attitude about love.

This is my issue.

If I loved someone and was in love with someone else, I can see that.

But being in love with 2 people. Someone is being loved less. And I really think that it would be more the case of lust than love.

 

[KINGFROMQUEENS]

i have been in love with 2 women at the same time. i could not help it. one woman new about the other and still wanted to be with me on a sexual level. the other did not know , and the more i fell in love with her the more things got bad with the other one. long story short i lost both of them and learned a few lessons.

 

[Cleopatra_J]

i have been in love with 2 women at the same time. i could not help it. one woman new about the other and still wanted to be with me on a sexual level. the other did not know , and the more i fell in love with her the more things got bad with the other one. long story short i lost both of them and learned a few lessons.

This is going to happen to someone I know. Sooner than he thinks.


I don't think it's possible. I think that you are attracted to the newness of the other person. They are something that distracts you, and you THINK you are in love with it. It's possible to care about two people deeply. But to be in love, no. You are lying to someone, and it just might be yourself.

 

[femmenoire]

i have been in love with 2 women at the same time. i could not help it. one woman new about the other and still wanted to be with me on a sexual level. the other did not know , and the more i fell in love with her the more things got bad with the other one. long story short i lost both of them and learned a few lessons.

Well then isn't it really that you were in lust with one person and in love with the other. That's why I don't believe men can be in love with 2 women at the same time. It's generally sexual for men, not emotional.

 

[Jam_Jam]

I'm not talking about the system of Polygamy, which only capitolizes off mankind's natural instincts in an often perverted manner. Much like the institution of marriage made mockery of humans natural pack mentality. I was referring to being Polyamorous. Polygamous and Polyamorous aren't the same thing. Just like marriage and monogamy are not the same thing, though they are often paired together. Polygamy is some thing you're conditioned to do. Being Polyamorous is something you instinctively are. Action vs Instinct. Like I said... science is science.

I don't know why I saw polygamous when you said polyamorous. Maybe I'm becoming dyslexic.

 

[KINGFROMQUEENS]

Well then isn't it really that you were in lust with one person and in love with the other. That's why I don't believe men can be in love with 2 women at the same time. It's generally sexual for men, not emotional.

no it was lust for her. i was in love with her 4 real , and the other one.i know its fucked up but i was. i was doing for both of them. taking care of the kids on both sides and trying to figure out how the hell i was going to marry one and keep the other a secret to the one that did not know. and i did not care which one i married as long as it was one of them and i could still be with the other. i guess in the end i really did not "think" about shit. but life goes on and i will never do that again..... i hope.

 

[DigitalAngel2007]

That doesn't make sense, you're assuming that love of one person detracts from your ability to love other people. That never happens. Just because it hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean that it isn't possible.

I never mentioned anything about breaking someone's heart, I wasn't talking about specific situation. I was speaking of the possibilities. I know that it's a possibility because it has happened to me. Again, just because it hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean that it isn't possible.

And, don't assume that I haven't "truly loved someone", because my experiences differ from yours. You're just pulling that out ya ass cuz you're offended by the question.

EDIT: oh, and I never offered you my love.

tsk....tsk.... Never said you offered it just said I don't need it. I don't even know if your male or female I was making a general statement about your kind of love

Your right it hasn't happened to me because it's IMPOSSIBLE. I'm not only speaking from my experience. I don't live in a some concrete box. I'm influenced by the lives of those around me and they by those around them. And out of all those countless people it hasn't happenened to any of them. But if you choose to lie to yourself be my guest.

Your world
1. You can be in love with as many as you want fully and totally at the same time without breaking anyones heart or being dishonest.

2. I'm offended by your opinion on the internet.

Reality
1. You can love only one totally and truly at any given time.

2. Don't flatter yourself.

 

[DigitalAngel2007]

no it was lust for her. i was in love with her 4 real , and the other one.i know its fucked up but i was. i was doing for both of them. taking care of the kids on both sides and trying to figure out how the hell i was going to marry one and keep the other a secret to the one that did not know. and i did not care which one i married as long as it was one of them and i could still be with the other. i guess in the end i really did not "think" about shit. but life goes on and i will never do that again..... i hope.

If you cheat I think it may be possible to be in love with two people at once. But the catch is how can you cheat on the person you love......The answer you were not in love with them at the time you cheated.

 

[KINGFROMQUEENS]

If you cheat I think it may be possible to be in love with two people at once. But the catch is how can you cheat on the person you love......The answer you were not in love with them at the time you cheated.

u may be right , or maybe what i feel is love is different from what you feel. people lie to the ones they love everyday. does that mean they dont love them ???

 

[DigitalAngel2007]

u may be right , or maybe what i feel is love is different from what you feel. people lie to the ones they love everyday. does that mean they dont love them ???

In Love

I feel you can love the world. But you only can share your entire heart with one.
I'd like to say I'm just a romantic at heart.
but...
Lets say we look at this mathmatically

there is one whole person = you
you have one heart
how can you split that up and still come up with 100% on both sides. For the sake of argument say you love them equally you can only give 50%.

 

[Ming Fei Hong]

I don't know why I saw polygamous when you said polyamorous. Maybe I'm becoming dyslexic.

lol! Well, lately I've been coming down with a terrible case of 'fat finger' and typing like I'm downright illiterate... typos abound! Please believe, even though I went to school down south, I CAN spell.

 

[femmenoire]

If you are in love with someone and I mean on a romantic level and I mean wholly, how do you have the time, energy or desire to love someone else?

It means you don't love that person wholly.

I think some people are in love with drama. Or are in love with attention. But in love with 2 people just sounds ridiculous.

I know there are so called "polyamorous" men and women here. But they are really referring to sex, not love. I think people should just call it what it is.

When I am in love, it is life-altering, mind-blowing, exhaustive love. That is what I expect in return. I think if a man told me he was in love with another woman, that would piss me off more than if he said he was cheating with another woman. It's too much nerve. It means you didn't love to begin with.

 

[Machete]

tsk....tsk.... Never said you offered it just said I don't need it. I don't even know if your male or female I was making a general statement about your kind of love

Your right it hasn't happened to me because it's IMPOSSIBLE. I'm not only speaking from my experience. I don't live in a some concrete box. I'm influenced by the lives of those around me and they by those around them. And out of all those countless people it hasn't happenened to any of them. But if you choose to lie to yourself be my guest.

Have you ever had a monkey throw feces at you? Ever been walking by a building and gotten hit in the head with a piece of concrete? Ever been stabbed in the heart? These things are possible, but they haven't happened to you. Just because something happens to you, doesn't make it impossible. If you truly believe that you really do live in that concrete box.

I'm not arguing pros or cons, I'm arguing possibilities. And it is possible.

 

[bigirl]

Like I said I don't know if I have been "in love" or not but I have definitely loved more than one person at the same time. No not just sex. Heart love. Loving one did not make me love another any less at all. There were different reasons I loved them.

 

[onyxfemme]

I was reading something on MSN about it.

I've never been but have heard lots of women say that they have. I personally don't think it's really possible, especially not for men.

Oooh it is possible. Yes, it happend to me...And I will leave it there..