Guys, when would you want to know?

[followup]

**This is not necessarily about me**

Some women date more than one man at a time. Should we tell you from day one or should we wait until you ask if we're seeing anyone? Would you automatically not want to date a woman who sees multiple men at the same time? (don't assume she's sleeping with all of them).

Ladies what do you think?

I feel like if a woman says it right off the bat, it will turn some men away. But I think it should be stated up front

 

[doggish_098]

a date is not an automatic commitment to a relationship. you shouldn't have to lay all your cards on the table after the first date

 

[4North1Side2]

a date is not an automatic commitment to a relationship. you shouldn't have to lay all your cards on the table after the first date

Yup, I assume she's seeing multiple men anyway so no need to ask.

 

[followup]

a date is not an automatic commitment to a relationship. you shouldn't have to lay all your cards on the table after the first date

Yup, I assume she's seeing multiple men anyway so no need to ask.

OK cool.

 

[swiftandsilent]

Yup, I assume she's seeing multiple men anyway so no need to ask.

Co-sign,

If I wanted to know, I would ask. Since I don't, I won't.

Don't ask, Don't tell

 

[followup]

so then what do you do when you start to really feel her and you want to be exclusive? (and don't give me that nonsense about "I could never be with just one woman")

 

[Mo-Better]

As Doggish said a date is not an automatic commitment to a relationship but a date can be a prelude to a relationship. I would rather know up front if your seeing someone. If so say so! I would rather not waste my time if your hung up in a relationship. I'm sure you wouldn't want the same honesty if the rolls were reversed.

Just my deuce.

 

[kwazdog]

I dont care what ya'll, do. After I mentally Chris brown ya'll, the other guy is no longer a factor and ya'll will spend the rest of your days groveling at my feet...


translation:

As a man I must stay focused on my own desires, immediate and longterm goals ( Including how women fall under my jurisdiction). I must remain obtuse and impartial to the female longing for emotional calisthenics AT ALL TIMES...

 

[followup]

As Doggish said a date is not an automatic commitment to a relationship but a date can be a prelude to a relationship. I would rather know up front if your seeing someone. If so say so! I would rather not waste my time if your hung up in a relationship. I'm sure you wouldn't want the same honesty if the rolls were reversed.

Just my deuce.

what if she said she is seeing someone, but he's not her boyfriend? you know what I mean?

 

[followup]

I dont care what ya'll, do. After I mentally Chris brown ya'll, the other guy is no longer a factor and ya'll will spend the rest of your days groveling at my feet...


translation:

As a man I must stay focused on my own desires, immediate and longterm goals ( Including how women fall under my jurisdiction). I must remain obtuse and impartial to the female longing for emotional calisthenics AT ALL TIMES...

"mentally Chris Brown yall"? o.k.

 

[doggish_098]

what if she said she is seeing someone, but he's not her boyfriend? you know what I mean?

i guess you definition of seeing and my definition are two different things.

 

[onyxfemme]

I think we should tell when asked or when we think he is looking at more than just dating.
I guess it depends on the situation.

I dont think I should just volunteer information. And if I want to know I ask.

Now maybe we should define dating?
Do people even date anymore?

 

[doggish_098]

Now maybe we should define dating?
Do people even date anymore?

mature adults do. well at least i think they do

 

[onyxfemme]

So what is dating to you guys???

mature adults do. well at least i think they do

 

[doggish_098]

So what is dating to you guys???

meet a person go out a few times shit don't work out you move on

 

[Top_Bunk]

Shit you might just want to tell him off back to see what his reaction will be.

Kind of like a test.

An o.g. like me has so much confidence that things will turn out how they're supposed to that i could careless.

Any guy that get's shooked by that might be trying to handcuffy ou

 

[followup]

i guess you definition of seeing and my definition are two different things.

to me dating is just dating. no commitment, no expectations. If people see us out in public together, they would not think that we are a couple or anything.

If someone is my boyfriend, it's public knowledge. I would introduce him as such. I'm not seeing anybody else but him. I have to date somebody before he becomes my boyfriend.

What's your defintion?

 

[doggish_098]

to me dating is just dating. no commitment, no expectations. If people see us out in public together, they would not think that we are a couple or anything.

If someone is my boyfriend, it's public knowledge. I would introduce him as such. I'm not seeing anybody else but him. I have to date somebody before he becomes my boyfriend.

What's your defintion?

your analysis is spot on, I guess i was confused by your verbiage.

 

[onyxfemme]

I see

meet a person go out a few times shit don't work out you move on

 

[thismybgolname]

I would like to know from the jump and I would appreciate the honesty.

 

[geist]

Honestly, I would already assume a female is dating some other dude on the first couple of dates or at the very least she's got some dudes interested. So her telling me that she is dating somebody else would make me feel like "You better get this now!" It wouldn't be a problem for her to be dating other dudes as long as we're dating, because I'd surely be doing the same thing!

 

[Boo_Slim]

You can do what you want but don't be surprised when you start feeling the guy and he doesn't take you seriously because you f@cked other dudes in the beginning.

 

[Black Limey]

I must be living in a different world because I only date one woman at a time and would expect that from her

If she was on a dating site.... I would understand but it just makes the woman look like a bit of a slag if she is juggling cock.

I had some sista crying down the phone to me after she accidentally called my house asking for another dude and after that bullshit

 

[ThreeStacks]

i dont give a fck.... like the rest of them said we already assume she's seeing multiple men anyway

i had a chick that tell me that shit one day... i didnt give a fck... she was at the bottom of my list anyway... like im really compete over you

 

[onyxfemme]

See this is what is why I was asking people-what exactly is dating!
I agree w/ you 100% on the below.

I must be living in a different world because I only date one woman at a time and would expect that from her

If she was on a dating site.... I would understand but it just makes the woman look like a bit of a slag if she is juggling cock.

I had some sista crying down the phone to me after she accidentally called my house asking for another dude and after that bullshit

 

[Naha-Nago]

No woman worth having is "single".
















Let that shit sink in.....



































That's right.


*two cents*

 

[followup]

You can do what you want but don't be surprised when you start feeling the guy and he doesn't take you seriously because you f@cked other dudes in the beginning.

I must be living in a different world because I only date one woman at a time and would expect that from her

If she was on a dating site.... I would understand but it just makes the woman look like a bit of a slag if she is juggling cock.

She doesn't necessarily have to be sleeping with other men if she's dating other men. She could have recently met them, just like she just met you.

Honestly, I would already assume a female is dating some other dude on the first couple of dates or at the very least she's got some dudes interested. So her telling me that she is dating somebody else would make me feel like "You better get this now!" It wouldn't be a problem for her to be dating other dudes as long as we're dating, because I'd surely be doing the same thing!

I would like to know from the jump and I would appreciate the honesty.

ok. cool

 

[Black Limey]

If you are going out on dates regularly; you need to focus on that person and that person alone. Either that or just sleep around

I asked a girl out and she said yes......next day I am cycling down the road and I see her with another dude holding hands and looking smitten.

I am single man; no chick on the side; so why she got a dick on the side?

I was really into this sista at work. Lots of phonecalls and explicit texts. Went on a date to a comedy theatre. Another time we went to the cinema where she acted like I was a leper. Did not even want my arm to touch hers as we sat down or want a greeting hug as she got off the train



I bailed after the end of the movie....in her mind she still thinks that we were not dating



She even had the nerve to brag that there were other men trying to hit it; that's a cold cock juggler

Now on a dating site; it is inevitable that you could have a line of people ready to go a date. But you need to cut someone loose after one date and make up your mind

"I like you, but I am going on a date with someone else tomorrow, so can you hang around while I decide if this other person is good enough for me?

 

[grownazzblakman]

For me, it depends.

If the woman is highly attractive, my 4 general rules (in the very beginning) are...

1. She is probably already 'dating' someone else.
2. And/or she has (at least) 2 other males... seriously stuck in the 'friend zone'.
3. Even if the first 2 are false, she is definitely getting sex from... someone.
4. Whether or not she admits to ANY of the first 3 is a whole 'nother story.

But if I like her, and want to date her some more...

- I will seriously ask about her 'dating situation' within the first 2 dates.
- Also I will (nonchalantly) get her to talking about her closest male & female friends within the first 2 dates.

Now this 'kills a few birds' with just a few simple questions, imo:

I gain some insight on her situation.. get a general sense of her 'thought process' regarding dating... learn what her friends are like... plus whoever is near the top of her 'waiting list'... all within the first few dates. (if she is honest about it, that is)

For me, this approach works like a charm.
And if she asks me the same questions, I'm pretty upfront.

On the other hand.. if I'm not too interested in a relationship with her... I probably won't ask.

 

[followup]

If you are going out on dates regularly; you need to focus on that person and that person alone. Either that or just sleep around

I asked a girl out and she said yes......next day I am cycling down the road and I see her with another dude holding hands and looking smitten.

I am single man; no chick on the side; so why she got a dick on the side?

I was really into this sista at work. Lots of phonecalls and explicit texts. Went on a date to a comedy theatre. Another time we went to the cinema where she acted like I was a leper. Did not even want my arm to touch hers as we sat down or want a greeting hug as she got off the train



I bailed after the end of the movie....in her mind she still thinks that we were not dating



She even had the nerve to brag that there were other men trying to hit it; that's a cold cock juggler

Now on a dating site; it is inevitable that you could have a line of people ready to go a date. But you need to cut someone loose after one date and make up your mind

"I like you, but I am going on a date with someone else tomorrow, so can you hang around while I decide if this other person is good enough for me?

I see what you're saying, but that may not be realistic in these times... just saying. a lot of guys treat women like disposable play things and they play a lot of games. after being burned a couple of times, I wouldn't fault a woman for taking it easy and seeing a couple of nice guys until she feels closer to one. or one of them steps it up and wants to be exclusive.

For me, it depends.

If the woman is highly attractive, my 4 general rules (in the very beginning) are...

1. She is probably already 'dating' someone else.
2. And/or she has (at least) 2 other males... seriously stuck in the 'friend zone'.
3. Even if the first 2 are false, she is definitely getting sex from... someone.
4. Whether or not she admits to ANY of the first 3 is a whole 'nother story.

But if I like her, and want to date her some more...

- I will seriously ask about her 'dating situation' within the first 2 dates.
- Also I will (nonchalantly) get her to talking about her closest male & female friends within the first 2 dates.

Now this 'kills a few birds' with just a few simple questions, imo:

I gain some insight on her situation.. get a general sense of her 'thought process' regarding dating... learn what her friends are like... plus whoever is near the top of her 'waiting list'... all within the first few dates. (if she is honest about it, that is)

For me, this approach works like a charm.
And if she asks me the same questions, I'm pretty upfront.

On the other hand.. if I'm not too interested in a relationship with her... I probably won't ask.

I like your approach what you do depends on if you're really feeling her or not...

 

[grownazzblakman]

I like your approach what you do depends on if you're really feeling her or not...

Exactly.

If I want to date her & try to build something... I ask. EARLY.
If it's just 'casual'... I don't need any details about her friends and whatnot.

 

[Black Limey]

I see what you're saying, but that may not be realistic in these times... just saying. a lot of guys treat women like disposable play things and they play a lot of games. after being burned a couple of times, I wouldn't fault a woman for taking it easy and seeing a couple of nice guys until she feels closer to one. or one of them steps it up and wants to be exclusive.

I like your approach what you do depends on if you're really feeling her or not...

This is equally as bad and a very callous way to live your life. One bad example does not justify another. The are other women around me and I could date them all at the same time and be a 'playa'. But that is not me because I like to focus on one woman at a time.

The girl who messed me around by juggling guys left me voicemial to say that she loved me! Too late darling!

I was looking at her as a potential wife too! But she blew it because she gambled by not reciprocating the attention and priority that I gave her by being a 'Choosie Susie'

Date one person at a time then move on if it ain't working!

 

[followup]

This is equally as bad and a very callous way to live your life. One bad example does not justify another. The are other women around me and I could date them all at the same time and be a 'playa'. But that is not me because I like to focus on one woman at a time.

The girl who messed me around by juggling guys left me voicemial to say that she loved me! Too late darling!

I was looking at her as a potential wife too! But she blew it because she gambled by not reciprocating the attention and priority that I gave her by being a 'Choosie Susie'

Date one person at a time then move on if it ain't working!

I'm not necessarily talking about myself. Just stating. Nothing wrong with dating one person at a time either

Exactly.

If I want to date her & try to build something... I ask. EARLY.
If it's just 'casual'... I don't need any details about her friends and whatnot.

 

[Mo-Better]

what if she said she is seeing someone, but he's not her boyfriend? you know what I mean?

I guess it would depend on how strongly I felt about her an what type vibe she was sending me. Nothing regarding the possibility of a new relationship is etched in stone.

 

[Black Limey]

Whether it's you, your sister your brother or anyone. I would advise them to make a choice.

Of course keep your options open and don't be unrealistic

But, as I have stated you run the risk of ending up with nothing

If, I am dating a woman....I automatically distance myself from other women and focus on her

Ok, so this lady has options; let her pursue them one at a time

But dating two people at the same time?? People are deluding themselves if they think that it's acceptable





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