Goofy sex

Okay don't laugh to hard at me yall I got quite a few stories to tell.

1. Well one night I came home from a long day of work 15 hours to be exact (damn military) I was taking a shower and my girl sneaks into the bathroom ass naked. She surprised the shit outta me jumps in the shower and we start fucking like animals! Man I swear the pussy had me hook I got to damn excited and left her lil ass up on the tile. She was sliding up and down the tile then that's when my clumsy ass slipped on the soap......... We took one hell of a fall she just slided down the wall and I slide up outta her and we hit each heads ouch! Now it aint over me being close to cumming I was going to get mine damnit so while she was lying there on her back I just got her in missionary right in the tub. Then soon as I was about cum her roommate comes busting in with a bat she didn't expect neither one of us to be home becuase my girl told her she was staying with me once I got off work. So the end result was me cumming all over the place and the both of them screaming to the top of there lungs! We still laugh about that one to this day :lol:

2. Once again it was another long day at work and my girl keep emailing my phone and texting me pussy pics. So after a long day of work I get off and I'm flying home I'm in the Lac love boat doing 120mph off base. I get home and I'm running thru the house like a mad man and I found my prize in the laundry room. I literally ripped her lingerie off thru that ass on the washing machine and put a whooping on that pussy after have them legs in the air I grabbed her flipped her over like a pancake and was killing it doggy. Then I stopped and let her throw that ass back on me now I don't know where lil mami got this hulk strength cuz she REALLY was throwing that ass! All of a sudden my clumsy ass slipped on some liquid laundry detergent and did a face dive right into her ass! Now as I slide outta her as I was falling she queefed so basically I damn near fell into a queef! Oh my god we couldn't even finish cuz we both was laughing so hard. I swear we laughed for about 30 mins str8.

3. My ex mention in the above two stories his it really really really bad when it comes to queefing not that its a bad thing but I can tell when we first started having sex she use to be embarassed but one time we was doing it and I swear she let out a world record queef that joint was like 5 minutes long. I tried to hold it in cuz she had this embarassing look on her face but I'm to silly and the longer I tried to hold it the funnier it was. Pussy farts gotta love em!
 
I went to eat my Girl out when she was on all fours - and the room was dark - tongue went in the wrong hole :( :lol:


On my Birthday - this past July - My Girl took me out
we ended up at my place - I was stupid drunk
I fucked her for 4 hours str8 - and didnt even Come
the whole time I was fucking her I was talking shit - but I was so drunk I dont remember it :lol:
We still laugh at that



I had an Ex with a very tight pussy - loved fucking her :D
I'd pull out & the condom would still be inside her :eek:
it would be so deep in her - I couldnt get it

after about 2-3 days it would just drop out
but once it didnt & she was due for her period .... we were worried she was pregnant :eek: ...finally she she went to piss ..out comes the condom & her menstrual cycle



I finally learned when I pulled out - make sure I pull the condom at the base
 
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