Goofy sex

[femmenoire]

Have you ladies or gentleman ever had the kind of sex that brought about giggles?

The sex farts?

The bumpin heads?

The drool when kissing or sleeping?

The hair caught in the mouth?

Passing gas or burping?

Sex during pregnancy, during your period, etc.

Describe your funniest experience!



Oddly enough, the guy that I still think about...the guy I was really in love with. We'd talk during sex. I loved every minute of it. Not during the whole time of course, but during a break when he went limp inside of me. And he'd talk about the view of my apartment (I had a killer view of the ATL skyline at the time). And then maybe I'd stop to go to the bathroom while homeboy was still hard and he'd holla at me to come back and then when I came back talk about how he was hungry. So I'd try to fix him something real quick and he'd sneak behind me and try to fuck me right then and there. Then we'd bust out laughing.

Have you guys ever had these crazy comical experiences sexually that may have turned the session to a skit but was memorable nonetheless?

 

[the flash]

Sex during pregnancy, during your period, etcbut
The hair caught in the mouth?especialy with white women and women of other races
The bumpin heads?
The sex farts?the pussy farts lol
what about doing it doggy but when you go to put your shit in you go to her ass and she is like untuhhhh!

 

[femmenoire]

Sex during pregnancy, during your period, etcbut
The hair caught in the mouth?especialy with white women and women of other races
The bumpin heads?
The sex farts?the pussy farts lol
what about doing it doggy but when you go to put your shit in you go to her ass and she is like untuhhhh!

What about the fucked up condom scenario?

No matter how hard or how many condoms it just doesn't go on right? I always wonder if it's the block gods saying "You won't be fuckin tonight!"

 

[the flash]

What about the fucked up condom scenario?

No matter how hard or how many condoms it just doesn't go on right? I always wonder if it's the block gods saying "You won't be fuckin tonight!"

shit talking about that you have your only condom and you tear a hole in it trying to put it on or she rips it with her finger nails lol

or this embarassing one you get so drunk you pass out

or i get drunk and it takes me 5 hours to cum ands she is like damn you aint came yet

 

[femmenoire]

shit talking about that you have your only condom and you tear a hole in it trying to put it on or she rips it with her finger nails lol

or this embarassing one you get so drunk you pass out

or i get drunk and it takes me 5 hours to cum ands she is like damn you aint came yet

Yeah you bringing back some memories.

I always find that when you are really trying to be sexy is when you just end up looking foolish.

Like trying to fuck in the shower and you got too much soap going on that the both of you are slippin and sliding.

There have been times where I wore certain outfits because they were sexy and at the request of the guy that I was seeing at the time, but taking that shit off took damn near an hour and by the time the outfit was off we're both over our moods.


Nobody really talks about this stuff.

 

[capcomq]

Yeah, mostly in high school because we was all retarded with the sex game back then but not in the last six or seven, but yes when I was younger...lol damn we was some crazy churn.

 

[the flash]

There have been times where I wore certain outfits because they were sexy and at the request of the guy that I was seeing at the time, but taking that shit off took damn near an hour and by the time the outfit was off we're both over our moods.

been there with all those damn straps and your dick is hard as fuck trying to help her get that shit off

or when you where younger before you had cars and houses and her parents come home

stupid shit i tried with a chick was trying to go to sleep with my dick still in hernever workes you just end up fucking again

oh hate this you fuck all night and have to get up and go towork the next morning and you are at work nodding

 

[Blu Diablo]

Funniest incidents?

#1 Chic started cumming and broke the head board off my bed.

#2 Having sex and the bed rails give out. It's one thing to purposely take it to tha fo', completely different when you get there completely unexpectedly.

 

[sean69]

So I got her pinned up against the wall in the kitchen, legs spread, hands above her head, i'm behind her fuckin' her and she's grinding back on me, all the sudden a fault in the dry wall gives and we go crashing through the wall into the pantry and potatoes and Ramen noodles falling on her head n shit!!

 

[Mo-Better]

I was at this girls place I was dating and I was extremely horny (which she knew) but for some reason she was being difficult. We were also supposed to be meeting some friends that afternoon but as usual she was running late. (I hate that) So I said fine I'll wait. Then I see her with a towel run into the kitchen and she's starting to wash her hair. (I'm like you got to be kidding me) She always had a full head of shoulder length hair and it usually took her awhile to finish washing it.

I'm thinking OK I've got to teach her about being late. So I waited until she got her hair good and soapy and removed her towel from her reach. I then eased in behind her raised up her gown cut off her panties it was all over for her. She tried to escape but she couldn't with all the soap in her hair and no towel. Bent over into the sink and a head full of soap. She was mine!

She always came hard from the doggy position but this was different. For the most part she was helpless, I knew it and I took full advantage of her position. She had that one special spot and with her standing bent over in the sink it was the perfect angle and I wore that spot out and talked shit the whole time too.

Me: What have I told you about being late? You want to be late ok fine were going to be late. Smack on the ass.
She: Ouch, OK, OK, I'm sorry let me dry my hair?
Me: No! Smack! Late again huh? How many times? Smack! Have you learned you lesson now? Smack!
She: Ouch, Yes, Yes! I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Me: Smack! No your not. Smack!
She: Ooh! Yes, yes, yes I'm sorry, I'm sorry

This went on for almost an hour. With her sobbing and cumming. By time I was finished with her her bra and gown was soaked, water and soap was everywhere on the stove, floor and the walls and the kitchen was a wreck. Her pussy was beat up and her ass was cherry red. We never did meet our friends. But we did go out and have a nice quite dinner and a movie.

After that little session, she never let me catch her doing her hair again but she started being on time more. Needless to say that became one of our favorite positions, just no soap and water.

 

[sammy]

Have you ladies or gentleman ever had the kind of sex that brought about giggles?

The sex farts?

The bumpin heads?

The drool when kissing or sleeping?

The hair caught in the mouth?

Passing gas or burping?

Sex during pregnancy, during your period, etc.

Describe your funniest experience!



Oddly enough, the guy that I still think about...the guy I was really in love with. We'd talk during sex. I loved every minute of it. Not during the whole time of course, but during a break when he went limp inside of me. And he'd talk about the view of my apartment (I had a killer view of the ATL skyline at the time). And then maybe I'd stop to go to the bathroom while homeboy was still hard and he'd holla at me to come back and then when I came back talk about how he was hungry. So I'd try to fix him something real quick and he'd sneak behind me and try to fuck me right then and there. Then we'd bust out laughing.

Have you guys ever had these crazy comical experiences sexually that may have turned the session to a skit but was memorable nonetheless?

Where you found room for a dick to fall asleep inside you, Not a good look.

 

[BS2011]

One of those rubberband like cock rings rolled up and got caught up in my pubes. First and last time trying that shit. Pain was excruciating. Had to cut it off with a scissor. Wife was cracking up. To this day we laugh about it.

 

[femmenoire]

Where you found room for a dick to fall asleep inside you, Not a good look.

 

[Chicutie]

This is funny question! I have so many to share. I have to come back after I finish cooking though. lol

 

[Shadow]

Mine are too embarrasing to list here.

I have done the sex fart thing, though.

 

[lilsexii]

An ex and I both worked CRAZY hours and we hadn't seen each other in a while...so one night we were exhausted, but we hooked up anyway. BOTH OF US KEPT DOZING OFF!! But the goofy part is that we would wake up and KEEP STROKIN!

 

[Izayoi]

I almost got choked out once

He was hitting from the back and then he put his arm over my shoulder and around my neck and I'm like
cuz I like freaky shit like that (this is a mild mannered guy and he wasn't a very aggressive sex partner like I usually like) so I'm super excited. I start cumming.. CUMMING... and I guess he was super excited cuz I was going crazy and he tightens up that grip and when he starts cumming I'm frantically tapping his elbow like in a karate class because I can't breathe. I saw spots and everything.

....

And yeah I did pass out once from my head hitting the headboard too hard.

.....

And once in college, I was having sex in the dorm with my bf at the time (what a jerk but the dick was exceptional *sigh*) and anyway I don't know what it was about that night but every stroke was like heaven. It just felt so good and I'm a moaner not a screamer naturally, but I did scream...and I didn't know the window was open...and then I hear all these ninjas cheering from outside like my bf won the superbowl and shit. I was so embarrassed I hid in that room for a good 2 hours.

 

[Izayoi]

An ex and I both worked CRAZY hours and we hadn't seen each other in a while...so one night we were exhausted, but we hooked up anyway. BOTH OF US KEPT DOZING OFF!! But the goofy part is that we would wake up and KEEP STROKIN!

Sean69
So I got her pinned up against the wall in the kitchen, legs spread, hands above her head, i'm behind her fuckin' her and she's grinding back on me, all the sudden a fault in the dry wall gives and we go crashing through the wall into the pantry and potatoes and Ramen noodles falling on her head n shit!!

HAHAHA!!!!! Did you make her a snack ?

 

[Harvard Blu]

Have you ladies or gentleman ever had the kind of sex that brought about giggles?

The sex farts?

The bumpin heads?

The drool when kissing or sleeping?

The hair caught in the mouth?

Passing gas or burping?

Sex during pregnancy, during your period, etc.

Describe your funniest experience!



Oddly enough, the guy that I still think about...the guy I was really in love with. We'd talk during sex. I loved every minute of it. Not during the whole time of course, but during a break when he went limp inside of me. And he'd talk about the view of my apartment (I had a killer view of the ATL skyline at the time). And then maybe I'd stop to go to the bathroom while homeboy was still hard and he'd holla at me to come back and then when I came back talk about how he was hungry. So I'd try to fix him something real quick and he'd sneak behind me and try to fuck me right then and there. Then we'd bust out laughing.

Have you guys ever had these crazy comical experiences sexually that may have turned the session to a skit but was memorable nonetheless?

Funniest shit that has ever happened to me was I was hitting this chic for the first time. So obviously I didn't know what to expect, but her head game was CRAZY (swallows), body was bangin....I couldn't have been happier. But when we started fukkin, she turned into that chic Biggie was fukkin on his first album, track 8 I think with the Jodeci playing in the background. I never been called so many ridiculous dirty names in my life....she had the dirtiest fukkin mouth ever and i was laughing so hard I went soft and had to stop for minute. Once I told her what was going through my head we laughed about that shit for a long time, and it became an inside joke with us.

 

[Shadow]

she turned into that chic Biggie was fukkin on his first album, track 8 I think with the Jodeci playing in the background

That was Lil Kim. Take another listen when you get a chance.

Fuck it, here's one.

Seoul Korea. I hook up with this Black chick from Ireland who teaches english to the kids there. She is a freak. My boy Ali has her friend from London and we are off to the races. First place we go after the bar....A SWINGER'S CLUB (Who knew Korea had them).

I'm grilling hard, doing my Brooklyn thing, trying to loosen up to people fucking all around me, dancing naked on the floor, walking around and socializing. I mean people of all races. I am the only person here who is fully dressed. So this woman gives me a drink, and then just pulls my dick out and starts sucking.

It's on now.

We start making out in the hallway out of the main area. I mean this shit is intense, kissing, licking, sucking, talking shit you name it. I'm all into this shit, so my inhibitions totally go away. She says "let's go outside".... I have no blood pumping to my brain so coherent thought is no longer possible at this point. There is snow all over, We barely have our clothes on, and we run over to a playground across the street.

We start fucking on the swings, and I mean it was like something out of a Slayer/BangBros flick. Nasty, Noisy and fucking intense. I am completely out of control and she's loving every minute of it.Hitting me with the accent like "fuck me harder" "come on mate" and then the coup de grace "fuck my arse, S*****".

I damn near nutted right there.

I pick her up off the swing and we move to the slide. I lay her on her stomach, and slowly ease up into her asshole. Mind you, the only lubrication is on the rubber from her wetness. She let's out a scream that sounds more like pain than pleasure, so I stop. "What are you doing ni**@?" I'm stunned. This chick is actually liking this shit. So I say fuck it.

I'm drunk, Black, Muscular, and I am fucking a woman in the ass in another country as fastand fucking furious as I possibly can. The world is lost. I have no situational awareness. The only thing that matters to me is making this woman cum until both of us collapses.

Then I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I turn around, and there watching me is a Korean Police officer.

I have my dick in a Black Irish woman's ass on a slide in an entirely Korean district of Seoul outside a known swinger's bar. I'm fucked is the only thought I had. I lost everything.....except my erection.

So, just when I think it can get no more fucked up than this. The cop backs up, and signals me to keep fucking. I can't believe this shit. I am looking at a guy who obviously has busted people in similar situations before and gets off on it.

I do the only thing I can do at this point. The chick is terrified, but I keep fucking. I fuck for every man who has ever been caught in something that looks so closely to rape who has ever lived.....

And then I go to jail......


I may write down a more detialed version of that night later. It came back to me bacause it happened on Thanksgiving weekend, 1996.

 

[femmenoire]

That was Lil Kim. Take another listen when you get a chance.

Fuck it, here's one.

Seoul Korea. I hook up with this Black chick from Ireland who teaches english to the kids there. She is a freak. My boy Ali has her friend from London and we are off to the races. First place we go after the bar....A SWINGER'S CLUB (Who knew Korea had them).

I'm grilling hard, doing my Brooklyn thing, trying to loosen up to people fucking all around me, dancing naked on the floor, walking around and socializing. I mean people of all races. I am the only person here who is fully dressed. So this woman gives me a drink, and then just pulls my dick out and starts sucking.

It's on now.

We start making out in the hallway out of the main area. I mean this shit is intense, kissing, licking, sucking, talking shit you name it. I'm all into this shit, so my inhibitions totally go away. She says "let's go outside".... I have no blood pumping to my brain so coherent thought is no longer possible at this point. There is snow all over, We barely have our clothes on, and we run over to a playground across the street.

We start fucking on the swings, and I mean it was like something out of a Slayer/BangBros flick. Nasty, Noisy and fucking intense. I am completely out of control and she's loving every minute of it.Hitting me with the accent like "fuck me harder" "come on mate" and then the coup de grace "fuck my arse, S*****".

I damn near nutted right there.

I pick her up off the swing and we move to the slide. I lay her on her stomach, and slowly ease up into her asshole. Mind you, the only lubrication is on the rubber from her wetness. She let's out a scream that sounds more like pain than pleasure, so I stop. "What are you doing ni**@?" I'm stunned. This chick is actually liking this shit. So I say fuck it.

I'm drunk, Black, Muscular, and I am fucking a woman in the ass in another country as fastand fucking furious as I possibly can. The world is lost. I have no situational awareness. The only thing that matters to me is making this woman cum until both of us collapses.

Then I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I turn around, and there watching me is a Korean Police officer.

I have my dick in a Black Irish woman's ass on a slide in an entirely Korean district of Seoul outside a known swinger's bar. I'm fucked is the only thought I had. I lost everything.....except my erection.

So, just when I think it can get no more fucked up than this. The cop backs up, and signals me to keep fucking. I can't believe this shit. I am looking at a guy who obviously has busted people in similar situations before and gets off on it.

I do the only thing I can do at this point. The chick is terrified, but I keep fucking. I fuck for every man who has ever been caught in something that looks so closely to rape who has ever lived.....

And then I go to jail......


I may write down a more detialed version of that night later. It came back to me bacause it happened on Thanksgiving weekend, 1996.

Now that is one wild story.

 

[SuperGenius]

Falling asleep while eating the pussy (I was drunk)....then waking up and continuing my mission without missing a beat.

The condom sliding off and being lost in the pussy. I had to play doctor and get that shit out. All I kept saying was "I am NOT going to the emergency room for this shit".

 

[Ziongate]

The condom sliding off and being lost in the pussy. I had to play doctor and get that shit out. All I kept saying was "I am NOT going to the emergency room for this shit".

Happened to me one or two times. Had to "dig deep" to get it out Whilst am laughing she's scared dry of her pussy juice.

 

[SxxxyBlckBtch]

i had sex on my period every month with my ex.. hell i loved the fact that he could cum inside me.. WHOA NELLY!!! and so did he.. so das about it i think... my hiar is longer.. so it always in the way.. so he just pulled it back for me.. lol​

 

[mc2]

I had one the other night.... I was having sex with my girl and Martin was on the TV (Thanksgiving episode) playing in the background. We were doing it doggystyle and we both heard John Witherspoon (Martin's one eyed uncle) say "BANG BANG BANG" while I was hitting it doggie. We both cracked up so much we had to chill for a bit and continue.

The timing and the fact that the only thing we heard durring the entire episode was "BANG BANG BANG" is was what made it so funny.


Another one
A girl left a huge wet spot on my couch by getting wet from me licking her titties once. That shit ruined my couch

 

[DAHITMAN]

i had sex on my period every month with my ex.. hell i loved the fact that he could cum inside me.. WHOA NELLY!!! and so did he.. so das about it i think... my hiar is longer.. so it always in the way.. so he just pulled it back for me.. lol​

Did you get Pregnant?

 

[DAHITMAN]

I had one the other night.... I was having sex with my girl and Martin was on the TV (Thanksgiving episode) playing in the background. We were doing it doggystyle and we both heard John Witherspoon (Martin's one eyed uncle) say "BANG BANG BANG" while I was hitting it doggie. We both cracked up so much we had to chill for a bit and continue.

The timing and the fact that the only thing we heard durring the entire episode was "BANG BANG BANG" is was what made it so funny.


Another one
A girl left a huge wet spot on my couch by getting wet from me licking her titties once. That shit ruined my couch

Me too I had this girl in the backseat of my truck and she left a big pool of cum all over my leather seats. Which actually moisturized my trucks back seat.

Plus I almost sprained my wrist cause it was mad slippery.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

That was Lil Kim. Take another listen when you get a chance.

Fuck it, here's one.

Seoul Korea. I hook up with this Black chick from Ireland who teaches english to the kids there. She is a freak. My boy Ali has her friend from London and we are off to the races. First place we go after the bar....A SWINGER'S CLUB (Who knew Korea had them).

I'm grilling hard, doing my Brooklyn thing, trying to loosen up to people fucking all around me, dancing naked on the floor, walking around and socializing. I mean people of all races. I am the only person here who is fully dressed. So this woman gives me a drink, and then just pulls my dick out and starts sucking.

It's on now.

We start making out in the hallway out of the main area. I mean this shit is intense, kissing, licking, sucking, talking shit you name it. I'm all into this shit, so my inhibitions totally go away. She says "let's go outside".... I have no blood pumping to my brain so coherent thought is no longer possible at this point. There is snow all over, We barely have our clothes on, and we run over to a playground across the street.

We start fucking on the swings, and I mean it was like something out of a Slayer/BangBros flick. Nasty, Noisy and fucking intense. I am completely out of control and she's loving every minute of it.Hitting me with the accent like "fuck me harder" "come on mate" and then the coup de grace "fuck my arse, S*****".

I damn near nutted right there.

I pick her up off the swing and we move to the slide. I lay her on her stomach, and slowly ease up into her asshole. Mind you, the only lubrication is on the rubber from her wetness. She let's out a scream that sounds more like pain than pleasure, so I stop. "What are you doing ni**@?" I'm stunned. This chick is actually liking this shit. So I say fuck it.

I'm drunk, Black, Muscular, and I am fucking a woman in the ass in another country as fastand fucking furious as I possibly can. The world is lost. I have no situational awareness. The only thing that matters to me is making this woman cum until both of us collapses.

Then I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I turn around, and there watching me is a Korean Police officer.

I have my dick in a Black Irish woman's ass on a slide in an entirely Korean district of Seoul outside a known swinger's bar. I'm fucked is the only thought I had. I lost everything.....except my erection.

So, just when I think it can get no more fucked up than this. The cop backs up, and signals me to keep fucking. I can't believe this shit. I am looking at a guy who obviously has busted people in similar situations before and gets off on it.

I do the only thing I can do at this point. The chick is terrified, but I keep fucking. I fuck for every man who has ever been caught in something that looks so closely to rape who has ever lived.....

And then I go to jail......


I may write down a more detialed version of that night later. It came back to me bacause it happened on Thanksgiving weekend, 1996.

damn that officer waited till u busted then said "You UNDA 'REST!" j/p

 

[Chicutie]

Ok I said I'd be back to share so here we go. .

Me and ex were having sex this one day. And I guess I was feeling really freaky so while were doing it I tell him, "fuck me harder". So he does. .on top of me fucking me really hard. . . and then I tell him again, "fuck me harder". And as soon he starts doing it the bed breaks. I guess both legs broke on one side because we fly off the bed. (well more like roll) We ended up nearly across the room. We just laughed at how crazy that was. And then we got over being thrown across the room, we continued getting on it.
---
Another one is one time. I was having sex in car with an ex at night time. And all of sudden I see lights and there are like 3 police cars surrounding us. I mean I am right in the middle of his dick and there the cops are shining their flashlights into the car. . asking 20 million questions. Most embarassing day of my life. Luckily they let us go.
---
And the funniest to me was waking up after I had passed from hitting my head on the head board. . I woke up having no clue what happened. And my boyfriend at the time, had the most scared look on his face I had ever seen. I think he thought he had killed me. It was hilarious .. (well now it is)

 

[mcguyver]

Ok I said I'd be back to share so here we go. .

Me and ex were having sex this one day. And I guess I was feeling really freaky so while were doing it I tell him, "fuck me harder". So he does. .on top of me fucking me really hard. . . and then I tell him again, "fuck me harder". And as soon he starts doing it the bed breaks. I guess both legs broke on one side because we fly off the bed. (well more like roll) We ended up nearly across the room. We just laughed at how crazy that was. And then we got over being thrown across the room, we continued getting on it.
---
Another one is one time. I was having sex in car with an ex at night time. And all of sudden I see lights and there are like 3 police cars surrounding us. I mean I am right in the middle of his dick and there the cops are shining their flashlights into the car. . asking 20 million questions. Most embarassing day of my life. Luckily they let us go.
---
And the funniest to me was waking up after I had passed from hitting my head on the head board. . I woke up having no clue what happened. And my boyfriend at the time, had the most scared look on his face I had ever seen. I think he thought he had killed me. It was hilarious .. (well now it is)

WTF!! You 2 fucking or making a comedy?

 

[Black Limey]

First time I heard a pussy fart, I laughed so much, I lost my wood.

Had fair share of burst condoms and even one that got lost in her as I was balls deep. Must have gone into her belly. I could not fish it out.



Had to go hospital to get that out- and get the morning after
pill



Condoms - just get in the way. But you can't risk not using them

 

[LILGROWN1]

I was fucking this girl for the first time a few weeks ago and I was like is it good to you and she said HELL 2 DA YEAH! I almost laught at her thur while I was hitting it from the back

 

[Iron]

@ this thread. I don't think I have alot of funny stories.

Me and my girl used to have sex in the dining room in the far corner and behind the table on the floor her peoples would be walking through the front half of the room going to the kitchen and we'd on the floor fucking.

And we also got caught by the police in the backseat of my car. Windows steamed up and all.

One thing we never got around to trying was having sex on top of the roof.

 

[costelloceo]

All I can say is, Sex and rocking chairs are a dangerous combination.

 

[femmenoire]

All I can say is, Sex and rocking chairs are a dangerous combination.

You can't drop that and not explain!!! Do tell!