Gathering information from a sista

[BIGBLUE2006]

It seems that some of the black women these days, well at least the ones in the 25-35 demographic group have this attitude.

The attitude that they must withhold their minds and bodies from their men. Not wanting put all of their eggs in one basket and allowing a man to have it all. Most of my homies are dudes like myself who had fathers that were affectionate to their mothers and showed us how to treat a woman. We carried that over to today. So we expect all black women to know how to appreciate what we bring to the table. But I have found that it is the mothers of these women that have taught them to be so "Independent" that they don't know how to love or be loved. Mainly out of fear that a real man is too good to be true or they can live their lives just fine without the companionship of a good man.

Is it because alot of the black men (fathers of today's 25-35yr old women) treated their wives in such a way that their daughters can only remember how to be treated by examples their parents gave. Or is it because of the mass of lame ass Ninjas that give brothers like me a bad name ?

 

[INVICTUS3RD]

I so, thoroughly co-sign this!!!

Our Black women today claim that they want Mr. Right and all they really want is Mr. Right Now.

 

[DeSiRe]

my parents have been married for going on 31 one years

my father spoiled my mother and his childern...he has given us everything we needed and wanted

he always taught me to never settle for a man who treats me less than he has...

and honestly i havent found a man who has

i hold back because i was taught not to "throw my pearls before swine".....still waiting for a man to pick up where my father left off

as ive gotten older ive been thinking more and more about this...not saying that ive lowered my standards

but as a child my parents taught me alot of how i should expect to be treated...but nothing about what a woman should do to keep her man happy

i think thats where the real problem lies with what we are teaching our daughters

 

[Crown&Coke]

but as a child my parents taught me alot of how i should expect to be treated...but nothing about what a woman should do to keep her man happy

i think thats where the real problem lies with what we are teaching our daughters

I know alot of women that werent taught this. Some women want a king but dont know how to be a queen​

 

[Esther]

. Or is it because of the MASS of lame ass Ninjas that give brothers like me a bad name ?

 

[jucurious]

ummm its a mixture

u got some who don't know no better

and also some not letting ppl in being cautious so they wont get played


since this site is big on the whole flaws of the single parent home (the mom)...well here's another flaw to add to the list

a good portion of the ppl talkin bout how the women of single mom homes are lost...where do u think that leaves some of the men? where was there male role model to show them how they should treat women? who are they lookin up to?

i mean you have the guys who came out fine, then u have those who come out resenting their moms and resenting women period or saw their mom get treated in not so great ways but saw their mom stay so they may think that is the norm


i was raised by both my mom and father and my father was GREAT to me and my mom and he talked to me about guys a lot, relationships, family, self sacrifice, and showed me what a real man does.....and honestly...i see very few ppl who come close or i feel are worthy of me (yeah i said it.. what? lol) also, very few guys that are trustworthy.

you have the good guys, you have the bad and then you have those that walk the thin line between good and bad.. the less obvious ones..those are the ones who a growing portion of women come in contact w/ IMO and the way that goes down is a toss up


DISCLAIMER: NO i don't want another father cuz he can't be replaced in that role hahaha

 

[JofromthaNO]

I swear a thread like this pops up every couple of weeks or so...

I had a great mother that showed me how to treat a respectable, honorable man...I now have a great man that should expect me to show him how honorable a woman I am...

Don't be so quick to say all women in that age range are holding back; that's a hasty generalization...maybe they're just holding back with YOU because you're not the right one, eh?

 

[sean69]

It's also because of lame brothas and sistas assimilating the CAC culture that's anti-family and community and pro CACish shit. Like uhm.... half cooked white rice and broccoli caserole and child leashes.

 

[jucurious]

It's also because of lame brothas and sistas assimilating the CAC culture that's anti-family and community and pro CACish shit. Like uhm.... half cooked white rice and broccoli caserole and child leashes.

 

[BIGBLUE2006]

I swear a thread like this pops up every couple of weeks or so...

I had a great mother that showed me how to treat a respectable, honorable man...I now have a great man that should expect me to show him how honorable a woman I am...

Don't be so quick to say all women in that age range are holding back; that's a hasty generalization...maybe they're just holding back with YOU because you're not the right one, eh?

Nah, I am spoken for, but I build with my buddies about this topic often.

 

[JofromthaNO]

Nah, I am spoken for, but I build with my buddies about this topic often.

The overall point I'm trying to make, Blue, is that I believe a woman (and a man...this goes both ways) will open up and all those defense mechanisms will crumble for the right man. I mean, just because a man has a good job and was raised in a two-parent home does not equate to him being a "good man." (The same goes for the definition of a "good woman.") This is simplifying and belittling the other factors that contribute to well-rounded individuals... There is a difference between being a good man/woman and someone being the good man/woman for YOU.

 

[Cleopatra_J]

The overall point I'm trying to make, Blue, is that I believe a woman (and a man...this goes both ways) will open up and all those defense mechanisms will crumble for the right man. I mean, just because a man has a good job and was raised in a two-parent home does not equate to him being a "good man." (The same goes for the definition of a "good woman.") This is simplifying and belittling the other factors that contribute to well-rounded individuals... There is a difference between being a good man/woman and someone being the good man/woman for YOU.

insert applause!

 

[followup]

It's also because of lame brothas and sistas assimilating the CAC culture that's anti-family and community and pro CACish shit. Like uhm.... half cooked white rice and broccoli caserole and child leashes.

And don't forget mayonnaise and cheese sandwiches...

@ OP: I can't speak for all women, but don't expect to get all of a woman if you're not in a serious and meaningful relationship. And the bums do make it harder for the good guys

 

[jucurious]

The overall point I'm trying to make, Blue, is that I believe a woman (and a man...this goes both ways) will open up and all those defense mechanisms will crumble for the right man. I mean, just because a man has a good job and was raised in a two-parent home does not equate to him being a "good man." (The same goes for the definition of a "good woman.") This is simplifying and belittling the other factors that contribute to well-rounded individuals... There is a difference between being a good man/woman and someone being the good man/woman for YOU.

can the chuurchhh say Amen?

AMEN!

 

[Chaise]

I personally think it is a combination of both. We do what we see and not what we are told. We live by experience. If you have been hurt in the past, you tend to be more cautious of repetitive behavior and put up walls to prevent making the same mistakes. Most women have an idea of who their Mr. Right is, and they can't see beyond that, so therefore they don't keep an open mind about men in general. You pray for GOD to send you a man and if he isn't tall enough, or cute enough, or drives the right car, he gets overlooked and therefore, your blessing is missed. In the meantime, they sleep with all the wrong men and make general statements like "All half decent men are in jail, gay or married."

 

[BIGBLUE2006]

Well the select subject has not applied to me for some years now. It becomes a topic of conversation with the brothas I mingle with. Not all of them are spoken for but I can say with certainty that we have a lot in common in terms of our genuine desire to serve a woman that is willing to serve us equally.

Like someone in this thread mentioned above. It is a woman that doesn't know how to be a queen that can be the case. I have been in a number of relationships where I have been the wrong doer to have been fortunate enough to "gather information from a sista" to prevent repetitive nature.

Although it came across in the first comment of the thread wrong. My intent was not to generalize all black women of that demographic but to extract some examples of how that holds to be true from some of these intelligent women that visit this forum.

I am looking forward to seeing more of the interesting comments in this and other threads like it in the future and share what I have gathered with some of the brothas.