Do you EXPECT an expensive engagement ring?

[LaBlaxicana]

i got him an engagement ring. i wear my Grandma's gold band. we've been together for 7 years. we spend our money on our home, our family, and travel.

we don't believe that diamonds are all they are cracked up to be, so it was a no brainer. when we look at our bands, they remind us of how far we've come.

everything is situational. you have to find someone that's a fit for you and get something that's appropriate to your situation. there is no one size fits all answer. if you make $100k a year and my dude makes $100k a year, having a two carat ring is not out of the question. if you both broke... maybe you need to be focused on getting something smaller and work on building your credit, nest egg, retirement account, etc... lol

PEACE

 

[jucurious]

HA sorry to disappoint you but I can speak only for myself. I am a simple person yes and I do NOT require all this fuss up about a piece of material. NOT all women want the fancy ish.




Peace

basically

 

[LeroyDibiase]

i got him an engagement ring. i wear my Grandma's gold band. we've been together for 7 years. we spend our money on our home, our family, and travel.

we don't believe that diamonds are all they are cracked up to be, so it was a no brainer. when we look at our bands, they remind us of how far we've come.

everything is situational. you have to find someone that's a fit for you and get something that's appropriate to your situation. there is no one size fits all answer. if you make $100k a year and my dude makes $100k a year, having a two carat ring is not out of the question. if you both broke... maybe you need to be focused on getting something smaller and work on building your credit, nest egg, retirement account, etc... lol

PEACE

PREACH SISTA or CHICA.

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

I want a nice ring but it doesn't have to be expensive.The only jewelry I wear anyway are earrings,so I am not into jewelry

 

[LogicBlack]

Props

Respect


I personally could careless if there was a ring. But then again this is coming from a person who would get married naked. A ring would be added clothing

Now to this

i dont expect a expensive engagement ring...theres alot of stuff we will have to buy as a family and it doesnt make sense to have an expensive ass ring and struggle to find a house and everything else

but i do expect an upgrade in a few years

isnt the ring supposed to equal 15% of his yearly income?

like i said earlier i really dont caree

BUT

im not a fan of guys just going out and getting rings without knowing what his girl likes

most of the time girls drop hints...but he should have a good understanding of her taste when he picks out a ring (stone setting, gold/white gold/platinum/ect)

i dont care how much it is...if is ugly im not going to like it...lol

alright now I'm starting to feel like some of the guys. You females are just too good to be true. I'm not into jewelry but I always expected my ring to be nice. I expected to be able to see it without a microscope, but I never EXPECTED it to be EXPENSIVE. I dont care what it costs, just want it to sparkle in the light lol.

To the OP:

1. Engagement rings are worn in conjuction with the wedding band after the wedding.
2. The rule for engagement rings are 2 months salary not 1/4 salary.
3. I honestly don't feel like you're gonna get 100% honest answers here because none of the women want to seem like gold diggers.

Again, I expected a nice ring, I didn't think about the price and I was not disappointed.

Why a upgrade? Its funny that they'res no mention of wedding bands or expensive diamonds and rings when getting married under God..... But The England Rejects AKA white americans infected SOME of the minds of black adults.... Like I said before THANK GOD not every black woman has the mentality of ^^^(Desire, HarlemAngel) this one.... If you want a expensive ass ring buy your own. They'res alot of people who get expensive ass jewelry and never loved they're woman....

And to the women who may think I'm cheap or what ever just ask yourself what are you REALLY in it for? Save us good men who know the guidelines a headache and get with someone else.... Save the women who really want a family and marriage the chance at a decent good guy.

 

[Adam Knows]

i don't/didn't have a problem buying an expensive ring set.

the problem i had with my first fiance was bossing how the ring should be. i mean if your not paying for it, someone's giving it to you how are you gonna whine about what it's suppose to have?

i originally bought a 1.25kt si colorless leo princess cut something diamond on a white gold setting an accompanying band with 2 .5kt stones on each side. i didn't hear how lovely it was, i started hearing whining about the one she really really wanted after a while. i paid 6k something for it, the one she wanted was 11k. fortunately i never went through with it(marriage, thank god) and got the ring back and saved it for the second time around.

 

[SweetLikeSuga]

No, I don't expect an expensive engagment ring. Depending on our financial situation an affordable ring is good and maybe an upgrade later down the line. It's not necessarily the size of the ring or the cost that counts. I'd be happier that my fiance wants to marry me, and chose me to spend the rest of his life with. Not the cost of the ring.

 

[bigirl]

#36
05-27-2008, 12:22 AM
LaBlaxicana
wannabe star

Join Date: Jan 31, 2006
Posts: 8



#42
05-27-2008, 11:45 PM
SweetLikeSuga
wannabe star

Join Date: Nov 22, 2007
Posts: 4



As for the topic I don't give a fuck about a stupid ring. I hate rings. I am disgusted and appalled by this 15% or 2 month "rule" or whatever. First I ever hear about it and yes some of you truly are shallow nasty golddigging hoes.

 

[Rudey]

All Lies!

 

[ladyscorpio]

All Lies!

?? what are??

 

[DiamondDeuce]

isnt the ring supposed to equal 15% of his yearly income?

like i said earlier i really dont caree

BUT

im not a fan of guys just going out and getting rings without knowing what his girl likes

most of the time girls drop hints...but he should have a good understanding of her taste when he picks out a ring (stone setting, gold/white gold/platinum/ect)

i dont care how much it is...if is ugly im not going to like it...lol

As a man... I could care less about an "engagement ring". I would be getting married because I would want to spend the rest of my life with a woman. The ring is merely a trinket that represents a much greater GIFT. A ring is just for show. Now if were to propose YES I would get a ring......but it would NOT be financed..it would be something within my personal means.....also IT WOULD BE THE SYMBOL THAT I WOULD WANT MY WOMAN TO HAVE....because to me that is all it is about. *right*

A woman that is fixated on enagagment ring standards to me JUST WANTS TO GET MARRIED (ceremony). A woman that does not care about all that ... and wants ME TO BE HER HUSBAND...truly wants TO BE MY WIFE (that forever shit).

Question for you DEISRE

If your man gave you an expensive wedding ring.......would you return the favor? Would you buy him say a BIG SCREEN TV AND HOME THEATER SYSTEM, or how about a MOTORCYCLE, or FISHING BOAT?

If you are unwilling to return the gesture.......then that tells me you are going into the marriage 1 sided.........when really its about reciprocity and a union of 2 people.


Many females I talked that have never been married....... spend a great deal of time thinking of the ring..and the ceremony.
A wedding ceremony/reception lasts maybe a 2 - 3 hours..........a marriage is supposed to be a lifetime.

So let me ask the question a different way.

How many women want to get married vs How many women want to be wives?

 

[Adam Knows]

#36
05-27-2008, 12:22 AM
LaBlaxicana
wannabe star

Join Date: Jan 31, 2006
Posts: 8



#42
05-27-2008, 11:45 PM
SweetLikeSuga
wannabe star

Join Date: Nov 22, 2007
Posts: 4



As for the topic I don't give a fuck about a stupid ring. I hate rings. I am disgusted and appalled by this 15% or 2 month "rule" or whatever. First I ever hear about it and yes some of you truly are shallow nasty golddigging hoes.

bigirl just became my 5th bestest friend on SOL

 

[LogicBlack]

#36
05-27-2008, 12:22 AM
LaBlaxicana
wannabe star

Join Date: Jan 31, 2006
Posts: 8



#42
05-27-2008, 11:45 PM
SweetLikeSuga
wannabe star

Join Date: Nov 22, 2007
Posts: 4



As for the topic I don't give a fuck about a stupid ring. I hate rings. I am disgusted and appalled by this 15% or 2 month "rule" or whatever. First I ever hear about it and yes some of you truly are shallow nasty golddigging hoes.

CO-SIGN!!!!!! TOTALLY AGREE!!!! and this

YOUR SIG SOOO FITS THE TOPIC.... I JUST WISH I CAN PHOTOSHOP TWO BLACK PEOPLE FACES AND PUT EM THERE

 

[LogicBlack]

As a man... I could care less about an "engagement ring". I would be getting married because I would want to spend the rest of my life with a woman. The ring is merely a trinket that represents a much greater GIFT. A ring is just for show. Now if were to propose YES I would get a ring......but it would NOT be financed..it would be something within my personal means.....also IT WOULD BE THE SYMBOL THAT I WOULD WANT MY WOMAN TO HAVE....because to me that is all it is about. *right*

A woman that is fixated on enagagment ring standards to me JUST WANTS TO GET MARRIED (ceremony). A woman that does not care about all that ... and wants ME TO BE HER HUSBAND...truly wants TO BE MY WIFE (that forever shit).

Question for you DEISRE

If your man gave you an expensive wedding ring.......would you return the favor? Would you buy him say a BIG SCREEN TV AND HOME THEATER SYSTEM, or how about a MOTORCYCLE, or FISHING BOAT?

If you are unwilling to return the gesture.......then that tells me you are going into the marriage 1 sided.........when really its about reciprocity and a union of 2 people.


Many females I talked that have never been married....... spend a great deal of time thinking of the ring..and the ceremony.
A wedding ceremony/reception lasts maybe a 2 - 3 hours..........a marriage is supposed to be a lifetime.

So let me ask the question a different way.

How many women want to get married vs How many women want to be wives?

AAYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE MAN!!!!!

And being true to my assumptions the post that I've seen you post especially on my thread on Sara Baartman and seeing the undertones of this one I think its time to just put it out there.

Its safe to say that you have a dislike or a disrespect for black men... OR for men in general based on the postings of this topic/thread and the Disgust from the thread I made of Sara Baartman http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=259362&highlight=sara+baartman That maybe men in general isn't your thing... And that perfectly fine its you business just be real with it. Because you been making pretty fucked up comments as of late and I can see thats the true you in the comments.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

AAYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE MAN!!!!!

And being true to my assumptions the post that I've seen you post especially on my thread on Sara Baartman and seeing the undertones of this one I think its time to just put it out there.

Its safe to say that you have a dislike or a disrespect for black men... OR for men in general based on the postings of this topic/thread and the Disgust from the thread I made of Sara Baartman http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=259362&highlight=sara+baartman That maybe men in general isn't your thing... And that perfectly fine its you business just be real with it. Because you been making pretty fucked up comments as of late and I can see thats the true you in the comments.

Yo where the above comments addressed to me
I think my comments are very much pro-black men.

Please clear this up.

 

[doggish_098]

i don't/didn't have a problem buying an expensive ring set.

the problem i had with my first fiance was bossing how the ring should be. i mean if your not paying for it, someone's giving it to you how are you gonna whine about what it's suppose to have?

i originally bought a 1.25kt si colorless leo princess cut something diamond on a white gold setting an accompanying band with 2 .5kt stones on each side. i didn't hear how lovely it was, i started hearing whining about the one she really really wanted after a while. i paid 6k something for it, the one she wanted was 11k. fortunately i never went through with it(marriage, thank god) and got the ring back and saved it for the second time around.

how did you pull off giving a girl a recycled ring? does she know it was recycled?

 

[PrincessC]

I would never want a ring that was bought for another woman (other than a family ring that was passed down). That's entirely too damn lazy for me. Just utter bullshit.

To answer the question...I love big diamonds, but if he can't afford it, then he can't afford it. I just want something that he took the time/energy to pick out and is given with love.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

I would never want a ring that was bought for another woman (other than a family ring that was passed down). That's entirely too damn lazy for me. Just utter bullshit.

To answer the question...I love big diamonds, but if he can't afford it, then he can't afford it. I just want something that he took the time/energy to pick out and is given with love.

I like motorcycles...and expensive televisions.

If engaged would you feel compelled to offer that to me....the man?

 

[Adam Knows]

how did you pull off giving a girl a recycled ring? does she know it was recycled?

of course not. besides women that would talk about what they wouldn't take wouldn't have a clue anyways.....

 

[PrincessC]

I like motorcycles...and expensive televisions.

If engaged would you feel compelled to offer that to me....the man?

So now this is a tit for tat thing huh?

If he insists on an equally expensive present because he bought me an expensive engagement ring, there probably wouldn't be a wedding anyways.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

As a man... I could care less about an "engagement ring". I would be getting married because I would want to spend the rest of my life with a woman. The ring is merely a trinket that represents a much greater GIFT. A ring is just for show. Now if were to propose YES I would get a ring......but it would NOT be financed..it would be something within my personal means.....also IT WOULD BE THE SYMBOL THAT I WOULD WANT MY WOMAN TO HAVE....because to me that is all it is about. *right*

A woman that is fixated on enagagment ring standards to me JUST WANTS TO GET MARRIED (ceremony). A woman that does not care about all that ... and wants ME TO BE HER HUSBAND...truly wants TO BE MY WIFE (that forever shit).

Question for you DEISRE

If your man gave you an expensive wedding ring.......would you return the favor? Would you buy him say a BIG SCREEN TV AND HOME THEATER SYSTEM, or how about a MOTORCYCLE, or FISHING BOAT?

If you are unwilling to return the gesture.......then that tells me you are going into the marriage 1 sided.........when really its about reciprocity and a union of 2 people.


Many females I talked that have never been married....... spend a great deal of time thinking of the ring..and the ceremony.
A wedding ceremony/reception lasts maybe a 2 - 3 hours..........a marriage is supposed to be a lifetime.

So let me ask the question a different way.

How many women want to get married vs How many women want to be wives?

Son. You have been droppin some real science lately. Keep it up.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

So now this is a tit for tat thing huh?

If he insists on an equally expensive present because he bought me an expensive engagement ring, there probably wouldn't be a wedding anyways.

What if he feels the same way? What if he doesn't want to get you a ring because it is a waste of money and splurging where it doesn't need to be? People say rings are a symbol of love and to show that you are his woman, what about when you came home crying frustrated from work and I comforted you? What about all those times I rubbed your tired feet? Or took you out? Or all the things that REALLY show love and not some damn ring?

Engagement rings are an anachronistic tradition that dates back to when men and women didn't live together and didn't have children by each other before marriage. Nowadays it's different; if I haven't shown you love and all that before the proposal, we shouldn't get married.

Like dude said earlier, too many women are focusing on getting married and not on being wives. First thing thought of after the proposal is "Where the wedding gonna be at?", "What dress am I gonna wear?", etc, etc.

 

[PrincessC]

What if he feels the same way? What if he doesn't want to get you a ring because it is a waste of money and splurging where it doesn't need to be? People say rings are a symbol of love and to show that you are his woman, what about when you came home crying frustrated from work and I comforted you? What about all those times I rubbed your tired feet? Or took you out? Or all the things that REALLY show love and not some damn ring?

Engagement rings are an anachronistic tradition that dates back to when men and women didn't live together and didn't have children by each other before marriage. Nowadays it's different; if I haven't shown you love and all that before the proposal, we shouldn't get married.

Like dude said earlier, too many women are focusing on getting married and not on being wives. First thing thought of after the proposal is "Where the wedding gonna be at?", "What dress am I gonna wear?", etc, etc.

You can be focused on being a wife and still be excited about the pretty dress and the location of the wedding. No, those things should not be your entire focus, but I don't see anything wrong with being excited about the wedding and showing eagerness to plan it.

A man just needs to get what he can afford, bottomline. But for me, if he's really worried about what material item he's going to get in return for the ring he buys me, then we probably don't need to go through with it anyways.

 

[doggish_098]

You can be focused on being a wife and still be excited about the pretty dress and the location of the wedding. No, those things should not be your entire focus, but I don't see anything wrong with being excited about the wedding and showing eagerness to plan it.

A man just needs to get what he can afford, bottomline. But for me, if he's really worried about what material item he's going to get in return for the ring he buys me, then we probably don't need to go through with it anyways.

i have to agree with pc. if you hope is to do this whole wedding thing once it should be done with style all with the budget in mind. Hell if you are lucky you will marry a chick who has a father who has been saving up for this since she was born. you are tripping if you think you are going to marry a girl and she is not going to want the extras. If you half ass on the wedding you are probably going to half ass on the marriage.

 

[LogicBlack]

Yo where the above comments addressed to me
I think my comments are very much pro-black men.

Please clear this up.

nooooo it was to Desire... My bad LOL

 

[Harlem's Angel]

Mostly younger women do that. By the time you're married 10 and 20 years, the need to show off passes. And you pretty much just said the same thing all of the other women in this thread said, so are you fronting too?

Wow. Someone is bitter? Only got half a carat when you EXPECTED 3? You can cut out the younger women bit. Turn on WE and watch all of those brides. Watch Rich Bride Poor Bride, Bridezillas, and Platinum Weddings. Not all 21 yr olds or even "young women" are the ones wanting to show off. AND its not always the one wearing the ring that wants to show off. Many times when you wear the ring, people wanna grab your hand to look at it and ask you questions about it. You're not necessarily walking around shoving your ring in people's eye.







LS... not makin reference to any one person. But I found it funny that no female was woman enough to admit that they care the slightest bit about their ring. Or maybe I'm the only one of all the SOL ladies who cares about it.

 

[Harlem's Angel]

Props

Now to this


Why a upgrade? Its funny that they'res no mention of wedding bands or expensive diamonds and rings when getting married under God..... But The England Rejects AKA white americans infected SOME of the minds of black adults.... Like I said before THANK GOD not every black woman has the mentality of ^^^(Desire, HarlemAngel) this one.... If you want a expensive ass ring buy your own. They'res alot of people who get expensive ass jewelry and never loved they're woman....

And to the women who may think I'm cheap or what ever just ask yourself what are you REALLY in it for? Save us good men who know the guidelines a headache and get with someone else.... Save the women who really want a family and marriage the chance at a decent good guy.

I'M GLAD THE WHITE AMERICANS TAUGHT ME HOW TO READ. HARLEM'S ANGEL NEVER TYPED ANYTHING ABOUT WANTING AN EXPENSIVE RING. I SAID I WANTED A NICE RING. I WANT ONE THAT SHINES. SHINE, NICE, AND EXPENSIVE ARE THREE WORDS WITH TOTALLY DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS...NEED ME TO GET THEM FOR YOU?

 

[followup]

Wow. Someone is bitter? Only got half a carat when you EXPECTED 3? You can cut out the younger women bit. Turn on WE and watch all of those brides. Watch Rich Bride Poor Bride, Bridezillas, and Platinum Weddings. Not all 21 yr olds or even "young women" are the ones wanting to show off. AND its not always the one wearing the ring that wants to show off. Many times when you wear the ring, people wanna grab your hand to look at it and ask you questions about it. You're not necessarily walking around shoving your ring in people's eye.

LOL @ bitter. How can I be bitter when I've been buying my own fine jewelry since I was 18? I was simply talking about how most older women wear plain bands and don't wear the engagement ring (average working women, not people on TV). Why you so defensive?

 

[Harlem's Angel]

LOL @ bitter. How can I be bitter when I've been buying my own fine jewelry since I was 18? I was simply talking about how most older women wear plain bands and don't wear the engagement ring (average working women, not people on TV). Why you so defensive?

we all know that buying something for yourself and receiving something are two totally different things. Or maybe people don't buy you nice things so you don't know the feeling. I wouldn't buy you anything with your attitude. Its uhh... ugly. ALL and I repeat ALL the older women I know who are married wear both their engagement ring and their wedding bands. Real women. Including, but not limited to a travel agent, care taker, and a city worker. I'm defensive because you came at me sideways. Its cute though. You got that ugly spunk that mean find soooo attractive. You should be expecting your bling any day now.

 

[followup]

we all know that buying something for yourself and receiving something are two totally different things. Or maybe people don't buy you nice things so you don't know the feeling. I wouldn't buy you anything with your attitude. Its uhh... ugly. ALL and I repeat ALL the older women I know who are married wear both their engagement ring and their wedding bands. Real women. Including, but not limited to a travel agent, care taker, and a city worker. I'm defensive because you came at me sideways. Its cute though. You got that ugly spunk that mean find soooo attractive. You should be expecting your bling any day now.

Okaaaaaayyyy. I still fail to see why you are whining? What exactly is the problem you have with what I am saying? If I post something based on my experience, and you have a different experience, that's called a "disagreement". How did I come at you sideways? Because you're young? Because you want to wear 2 rings at the same time? Sorry--you can't help that. Fact is, if a woman is used to having/earning nice things, she won't be so into what her man is buying her. She can focus on the man himself. I want a nice ring because I like pretty rings. Some women don't wear any jewelry, so they might not ever wear a ring. Who are you to say who's being truthful and who's not?

Only attitude in this thread is when you (and others) basically said that the other women were lying, but then caught yourself repeating the same thing. Why do you need to comment on my "attitude" and who buys me what? I seem to have forgotten about the time we met in person and you saw what I have and I told you who got me what. Why do you think your opinion of my "personality" matters?

 

[followup]

In case you forgot...

i dont expect a expensive engagement ring

nah i don't expect an expensive engagement ring

I personally could careless if there was a ring.

I really don't expect anything expensive at first

when i was younger I was all about having a 2 carat ring and all that glittery shit...

but now I'm different than I was then and there is so much more to marriage and relationships than the materialistic things that represent them. I do not want my man going broke on my ring, if you can't afford it, its not meant to be. Jewelry should not be financed...

like i said earlier i really dont caree

i dont care how much it is...if is ugly im not going to like it...lol

I really don't want an engagement ring, unless he wants me to wear one temporarily. my wedding band has to be beautiful and full of sparkles, but under $1000

And then...

i know wow, they go against every negative stereotype of women, arent we lucky to have them, what are the odds

alright now I'm starting to feel like some of the guys. You females are just too good to be true. I'm not into jewelry but I always expected my ring to be nice. I expected to be able to see it without a microscope, but I never EXPECTED it to be EXPENSIVE. I dont care what it costs, just want it to sparkle in the light lol.

Again, I expected a nice ring, I didn't think about the price and I was not disappointed.

HA sorry to disappoint you but I can speak only for myself. I am a simple person yes and I do NOT require all this fuss up about a piece of material. NOT all women want the fancy ish.

 

[actinanass]

follow vs HA

 

[LeroyDibiase]

While y'all duking it out, I'll just say that I believe that a lot of the answers have been less than honest because no one wants to be perceived as a greedy person; that's a pattern that I've noticed over the past 6 months tho.

 

[melonpecan]

OOOOoooo... touchy subject...

Personally, I would like an engagement ring with some personality. Since my anniversary is in March I know I can get a three carat Aquamarine for the same price as a .5 or 1 carat Diamond. It doesn't have to always be Diamonds either. I remember kids in my third grade class, (they didn't know any better), asking our teacher why her engagement ring wasn't all diamonds. It was a cut Onyx with diamonds surrounding it and it looked good. It looked like it fit her style of dress and not some stand out solitaire that's either too big for your hand or too small for the band it's on.

There are choices. We gotta stop thinking in the box.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

So now this is a tit for tat thing huh?

If he insists on an equally expensive present because he bought me an expensive engagement ring, there probably wouldn't be a wedding anyways.

Let me be clearer...because I was too vague.
I was not talking about a tit for tat situation.

What I meant was if a man bought you a ring(and he EXPECTED NOTHING IN RETURN)........WOULD YOU PURCHASE A MAJOR ITEM FOR HIM THAT HE WANTED BEFORE THE WEDDING?

Why or Why not?

Oh and just to twist your quote a bit.. "If She insists on an expensive (by our budget) engagement ring, there will not be a wedding"