I have a long history of poking the bear, taking on Goliath even though I'm smaller than David.
When I was about three my father gave me a whooping because I was loud
I WAS FUCKING THREE!
Afterward, he went to sleep on the couch in front of the TV.
I went to my mother who was in the kitchen making dinner and asked her for a glass of water. She went into the cabinet grabbed a glass and pour some water from the faucet.
"Could I have some refrigerator water?"
She poured the water out and got some water from the fridge.
"Can I have some ice in it?"
She got 3 ice cubes from the freezer.
My mother looked on as I put the cup up to my lip as if test it then walked from the kitchen into the dining room.
My mother said, something didn't feel right so she followed behind me and watched me as I walked into the dining room. She leaned against the doorway between the kitchen and dining room as I walked and stood directly in front of my father.
Again I put the cup to my lips as if to test it, but I didn't drink.
She said I stood there for somewhere between 2:00 and 5 minutes just staring at my sleeping father. And then I cocked my hand back and she was too far away to do anything.
I let the contents of that cup of ice water fly directly at my father's face as my mother looked on horrified.
My father was like Mister from The Color Purple, so she probably feared for my life, even at 3 years-old.
I high-tailed it out of there as my father jumped up out of the seat, his face and shirt soaked.
"Appp. Appp. Goddamn it. Fucking boy!"
I ran upstairs and got up under the bed in my parents room.
He charged upstairs looking for me, first in my own room, then in the closet upstairs before finally looking under his bed and seeing me.
He began moving the mattress and box spring to get at me, and just as he lifted the box spring I scurried out and ran under my bed.
By that time he was too tired. My mother said I stayed under the bed for a day and a half.
Eventually he caught me and gave me a whooping, but I earned that one even if I didn't earn the one before
Since then I've taken on managers at work and even (this part has been omitted because I got away with fucking up my manager's ****** and no one knows )
Call it a death wish, I call it a level of IDGAF
