kenbgco68
Re: All you Deadbeat Dads Explain
Great thread, somebody (NOT ME, somebody else) ought post a link to it on SOL and see what the ladies have to say.
You think they're willing to see it from the man's POV, or is it just gonna be
big pimp
it just gonna be
WorldEX said:
damn...this is gonna be interesting...i gotta go somewhere but i will BE BACK...and i will be popcorn for all
but no seriously...i'm hoping for a good discussion
...i literally felt pain from reading that...that was cold
)
Now the highlighted part is something I can agree with. Only problem is when it comes to things like food, entertainment, and things like that for the kids. Hard to keep all of those receipts, but it would hold the moms accountable too. Even in the cases of the wealthy. And if it's found that they don't need all of the support for the kids, maybe they could recalculate the amount going to the mom and put the rest in a trust for the kids
wait...let me get my soap box back!
and another thing....
i wanna take this thread a step further
Is it is possible to hold a parent (male or female) accountable for their child, developmentally and financially outside of the courts? If so, how?
IF you believe the system needs to be improved...what type of improvements/changes would you like to see?
For shame! If they get called up and can't provide proof that they're spending the majority of the money on the child and necessities they should get taxed. Maybe the payments should get reduced at that point either for the next payment or indefinitely. Possibly until the next review. Repeated infractions would lead to custody of the child being handed over to the father, then they should be forced to pay child support. Most men seem to handle money better than women. That's no secret. The father would most likely spend all or most of the money on the child and bank the rest for their education. There would be a lot more financially stable men in America and a lot less women trying to get pregnant for that big payday. 
)
Well the original question had nothing to do with accountablity for child support. It was asking how can a man be a deadbeat father, not seeing his kids. It wasn't even asking about paying child support.
I really wanted to read what some of the BGOL deadbeats had to say because it always shocks me when I read their words of venom against the baby's mothers, and then use that as an excuse to not see their kids. I can not and will not EVER understand how you can have a part of you living and not want to have a relationship. That is weak to me. And some women would even date/marry a man who has no relationship with his children.
. I can't fathom my son not wanting to see me off on my final day. Shit is just to sad to think about. Baby momma drama can be a pain but I would suggest all men do what the have to do to spend time with there kids. As the kids get older they will figure out what really happened and not what what momma said happen. Your children or your legacy and not to give a dam about them is not giving a dam about yourself.No man just absolutely doesn't want to see his child. No matter what they say.
No matter how you slice it you can not have feelings for something or someone you have never known. I'm sorry that's just how it is. Now feelings of responsibility and all are taught to you from a young age. You either have it or you don't. So if men don't have it then that is a case by case basis, but women expect to pop up one day and say you got a child and expect men to turn backflips or be damned. It takes a little more than that and truthfully most women have a problem with a father who was "not around" but don't allow him to be around.
I expect this to be taken the wrong way but truth is truth. Ladies get that goddamn chip off ya shoulders and allow these men a chance to be a part of they child's life without interference. Not demanding that he show up to everything and do everything just the oppurtunity to chose to do it. That's all it takes.
Man that sucks all around. I wonder if it's possible to get the child support decreased if you have joint custody, like 50-50? Also, is she reasonable enough that you all coul come up with your own custody/visitation agreement outside of the courts and then sign an agreement? Just questions
Well you just keep seeing her as much as you can and trying to get as much dad time in. She will appreciate it now and even more when she's older. I admire that you are doing what you can given the circumstances
Or just miss half a day three times a week. How the fuck do I pay for either the gas to do that or the damn child support with a schedule like that? Her answer? Maybe you should have though of that before you took a job that far away? I offered my kid's mom 50-50. I had it worked out. He get's 3 months off in the summer for school. One month off for Winter break and with the weekends thrown in we talking 50-50. Hell I even offered to keep paying her the child support and keep him with me AND allow her as much visitation as she wants.
What did I get...
But if you ask her I'm a deadbeat because I won't do what she ask when she ask. I buy all his clothes, shoes, haircuts, pay for school functions, get him every other weekend religiously AND pay child support. Plus the fact that we live like 30 miles apart AND I work like 45 miles away from home. I just got finished arguing with her because now I'm a deadbeat because I can't pick my son up from school 3 times a week and wait for her to get off from work.
Do you realize how long it takes to make a 75 mile trip in Atlanta traffic? I get off from work at 6 or 7 sometimes and he get out of school at 3. So we talking me leaving at like 1:30 from my job. Driving 75 miles to get him, drop him off at the sitter, drive BACK 75 miles, work and then come back 45 miles home.
Sorry for the rant but fuck that bitch (sorry but it fits in my eyes). Women make this shit difficult man. And no offense if I wasn't raised the way that I was I would have been like these other dudes. I would have been like fuck it, but I'm better than that. I want my son to know me. But I don't know him. Not like I should. So am I wrong for sometimes just saying fuck it all.
