Cutting off family

[neptunes007]

Many on my mom’s side never liked my dad. My parents divorced in 1996. The last time I ever saw many of them was 1992 and 1999. They kept their distance and never reached out, nor did I. Haven’t met many of their kids, etc.

Reconnected with other members of her family the past 20 years so that has been good. Some are decent, others are assholes who think their shit doesn’t stink. I say hi to them but pay them no attention otherwise.

Surprisingly one cousin’s husband is the nicest person of all. He lost both parents recently, and is estranged from both his sister and brother. But he has a heart of gold and is salt of the earth. Give you the shirt off his back. First time I met him when visiting Winnipeg at 12yo, he took me and my cousin to the university campus to play pool and shoot hoops. Then took us out for dinner. Then to the waterslides a week later cruising around town in his Scirocco. Cool as ever, that guy.

As for cutting ties with family ... mostly keeping interactions limited with certain people. People that couldn’t give 2 fucks about you. I don’t invest effort in them in return. They’re too easy to read.

Keeping interactions limited is a better way of putting it. Thanks for saying that

My question is.. God forbid something tragic happens. Are you still okay with the non communication?

That is actually the situation I'm dealing with now. Granddad did some fucked up shit back when I was 13, now he is transitioning to the afterlife. I made my peace with him and let him know I forgave him, but up until now I made sure to cut off all communication with him, due to his lifestyle was not one that is helpful to anyone.

My peace is something that is priceless

 

[Dannyblueyes]

I chose to cut off my mom in my 20s. We didn't speak for almost two years. One of the worst and cruelest decisions I ever made. I thank God that she forgave me and that we have a good relationship now.

 

[LennyNero1972]

Back in 2011 had a major falling out with my so-called mother and her wack ass family only problem is I'm still stuck in the twilight zone dealing with her. My uncle is the only family I have now and he's the only one who knows the details of what went down that year.

 

[Helico-pterFunk]

Keeping interactions limited is a better way of putting it. Thanks for saying that


That is actually the situation I'm dealing with now. Granddad did some fucked up shit back when I was 13, now he is transitioning to the afterlife. I made my peace with him and let him know I forgave him, but up until now I made sure to cut off all communication with him, due to his lifestyle was not one that is helpful to anyone.

My peace is something that is priceless

Thanks. Yes - limiting those interactions is so key.

Good on you recognizing your peace is priceless.

Interestingly enough my 2 aunts are the biggest contrast in my life. My dad’s sister is a sweetheart and like a 2nd mom. Someone you want to be around who keeps in touch and wants to spend time.

Mom’s sister could not give a fuck. Even limited exchanges make me grind my teeth. Judgmental and arrogant ... even with simple pleasantries you feel like you are pulling teeth with that one. Ugh.

 

[God-Of-War-420]

Pops has 13 siblings, he had four kids which is the least out of the bunch, grew up around roughly 70 cousins(not counting 2nd, adopted and street rats picked up on the side of the road lol)

cut all them drama filled retarded motherfuckers out in my late twenties early thirties, make it to the occasional funeral and even that's getting more selective. Talk to one cousin and that's it.

Mom's side has always been distant, only two cousins and they're half white so you already know.

Fuck them too.

Ones a pig so fuck him twice.

Cutting this giant brood of dummies out of my life was the smartest decision I've ever made, I'd die/kill for my brother and that's all I need.
As my dad always said "a friend is a dollar on your pocket."(haven't spoken to him since I was in my early teens so I guess he was right lmao)

 

[neptunes007]

I'm not advocating to cut off family, though I do understand situations may require it.

if the issue can be fixed then do it, or at least do the best you can on your end to make peace or amends; bc at the end of the day like UGK said, "One day your here baby, and then the next day you're gone".

 

[34real]

My question is.. God forbid something tragic happens. Are you still okay with the non communication?

With the distant relatives yes I'm ok with that cause they've never brought anything useful to a table not even their own so at this point I wish what they wish for me so it is what it is.

 

[CPT Callamity]

I don't cut off family, I might not reach out though. The ones who send me a card in the mail still and will call me like people in the 21st century I respond to.
The ones who text me "Call me" but I know it means they need me to help them with something and that's it. I don't hear from them until furniture or some shit needs to be moved. I ignore them. My number hasn't changed for almost two decades and mufuckas be talkin about "I haven't heard from you in a long time." Pick up the phone then!