Fam, shit got weird and very uncomfortable last night at the company Xmas party. We have one employee who's cool as hell, and his kid is kind of rich & famous. Nice laid-back cat. We have a sister that works with us. She's in her early 40s, face looks like she's about 30 or so, and she has the body of a fit 25-year-old. She calls herself my "work wife" (C), but we're more like brother and sister, and her and my wife are cool with each other. Here's where it got weird: Dude shows up with his wife and all of us are just kicking it, and his wife is really cool. I leave to go "work the room", because that's what I do. About 5 minutes later, the "work wife" comes up to me says in her thick NY accent, "Dude's wife is a total bitch. That ho' crazy", and I was like 
. She tells me that she was talking to my wife, and dude's wife was like, "EXCUSE ME! I was talking, thank you!" (She wasn't) So, I go back to our table to get my wife, because it's time to eat, and my wife was like, "Don't ever leave me alone with that batshit crazy bitch again." So, I asked her what happened, and she told me what my girl already told me, plus this: "After C walked off, his wife started going on about how she knows her husband and C are fucking, and she's got the sext messages to prove it. (For the record, they don't even have each other's number.) After C walked off, his wife said, 'I know where she's going. Her and my husband are going meet somewhere to fuck. That was the plan all along. I'm sorry I don't look like that no more!" She was an Alvin Ailey dancer back in the day.
By now, my wife is thinking to herself: "What the fuck is this bitch talking about?! Her husband is standing at the bar." Then his wife continues: "I got pictures of him on the toilet having phone sex with her! They think I'm stupid! I'm outta here. He can have that bitch!" After that, she called an Uber. By that time, we both get back to the table with our food and she's still there waiting for her Uber. Two minutes later, he shows up, looks at me and says, "You see the bullshit I have to put up with? I told you guys at work, now you get to see it for yourself." Then he leaves and his wife looks at me, grabs her coat and leaves. Now, I'm uncomfortable. We had an open bar, and he helped himself to it! He got a plate of food, and LITERALLY staggered back to the table. By this time, others are noticing that he's "to' up from the flo' up". The CEO comes up to me and asked me to make sure he's not driving. One of the items that was offered was prime rib with horseradish sauce. You even seen a drunk middle-aged man eat prime rib & horseradish sauce while trying to talk with his mouth full? It's not a good look.
He then decides to stagger to others on our team to apologize for his wife's behavior. Keep in mind: he's sloppy drunk and STILL has horseradish sauce dripping from his mouth, and the people he's talking to are trying not to look at him. Before we left, the HR person asked me about the goings on, and I told her that I'd call her. She said they'd have to talk to dude, but his wife is DEFINATELY not invited to any more company functions. My wife said to me, "I don't care how mad I am at you, and how bad we're fighting, I will NEVER embarrass you in front of your co-workers. We'll just have to pause the fight and finish it on the way home." I felt so bad for that dude. After they left (they took separate Ubers), it was all people were talking about. I can't imagine what's going to be going through his head on his way to work next week. It's sad, because he's literally one of our best co-workers.
. She tells me that she was talking to my wife, and dude's wife was like, "EXCUSE ME! I was talking, thank you!" (She wasn't) So, I go back to our table to get my wife, because it's time to eat, and my wife was like, "Don't ever leave me alone with that batshit crazy bitch again." So, I asked her what happened, and she told me what my girl already told me, plus this: "After C walked off, his wife started going on about how she knows her husband and C are fucking, and she's got the sext messages to prove it. (For the record, they don't even have each other's number.) After C walked off, his wife said, 'I know where she's going. Her and my husband are going meet somewhere to fuck. That was the plan all along. I'm sorry I don't look like that no more!" She was an Alvin Ailey dancer back in the day. By now, my wife is thinking to herself: "What the fuck is this bitch talking about?! Her husband is standing at the bar." Then his wife continues: "I got pictures of him on the toilet having phone sex with her! They think I'm stupid! I'm outta here. He can have that bitch!" After that, she called an Uber. By that time, we both get back to the table with our food and she's still there waiting for her Uber. Two minutes later, he shows up, looks at me and says, "You see the bullshit I have to put up with? I told you guys at work, now you get to see it for yourself." Then he leaves and his wife looks at me, grabs her coat and leaves. Now, I'm uncomfortable. We had an open bar, and he helped himself to it! He got a plate of food, and LITERALLY staggered back to the table. By this time, others are noticing that he's "to' up from the flo' up". The CEO comes up to me and asked me to make sure he's not driving. One of the items that was offered was prime rib with horseradish sauce. You even seen a drunk middle-aged man eat prime rib & horseradish sauce while trying to talk with his mouth full? It's not a good look.
He then decides to stagger to others on our team to apologize for his wife's behavior. Keep in mind: he's sloppy drunk and STILL has horseradish sauce dripping from his mouth, and the people he's talking to are trying not to look at him. Before we left, the HR person asked me about the goings on, and I told her that I'd call her. She said they'd have to talk to dude, but his wife is DEFINATELY not invited to any more company functions. My wife said to me, "I don't care how mad I am at you, and how bad we're fighting, I will NEVER embarrass you in front of your co-workers. We'll just have to pause the fight and finish it on the way home." I felt so bad for that dude. After they left (they took separate Ubers), it was all people were talking about. I can't imagine what's going to be going through his head on his way to work next week. It's sad, because he's literally one of our best co-workers.
Last edited:
