Children Out Of Wedlock...Men or Women's Responsiblity!!!

[Andeyhollawho]

Yea I took it there. I've had this discussion many times and I am catching up on some Tivo and found an episode of Baisden After Dark that had this topic so here it is.

I personally feel like it's the woman's responsibility. I feel like as a woman you should be protective of what goes on with your body. I don't say that in a mean way, but if I was a woman and I didn't want a child I would go that extra mile to make sure a dude wouldn't impregnate me! That just got confusing didn't it.

I'm saying women should have respect enough for their bodies to...

A: Not have unprotected sex with someone they don't want to get pregnant by.

B: Use protection even if they require the man to.

I've caught flack for this position and I understand if I do this time also, but there it is ladies. Grown folks business.

 

[black again]

The politically correct answer...NO, the correct answer, once there ARE CHILDREN...It's everybody's responsibiliity..Every child deserves a chance. There was a story on the news, today, about an infant that was left to die...That baby never had a chance.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

The politically correct answer...NO, the correct answer, once there ARE CHILDREN...It's everybody's responsibiliity..Every child deserves a chance. There was a story on the news, today, about an infant that was left to die...That baby never had a chance.

This is true. But these situations are preventable to a certain extent. I mean condoms bust and pills fail, but if you aren't using them and you are not prepared to have a child then

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Yea I took it there. I've had this discussion many times and I am catching up on some Tivo and found an episode of Baisden After Dark that had this topic so here it is.

I personally feel like it's the woman's responsibility. I feel like as a woman you should be protective of what goes on with your body. I don't say that in a mean way, but if I was a woman and I didn't want a child I would go that extra mile to make sure a dude wouldn't impregnate me! That just got confusing didn't it.

I'm saying women should have respect enough for their bodies to...

A: Not have unprotected sex with someone they don't want to get pregnant by.

B: Use protection even if they require the man to.

I've caught flack for this position and I understand if I do this time also, but there it is ladies. Grown folks business.

I agree. I believe it is like a 80/20 split. The woman is the one being entered, the woman is the one who has to risk her life to carry it, the woman is the one who will be responsible for the child for 18 years. I just believe that a woman SHOULD take extra responsibility for her own safety and her own well-being. Don't let a nigga fuck without protection, it's that simple.

It's like buying a car. If you go and buy a car without doing the proper research and all the extra shit first, the salesman will sell you a piece of shit car or give you shitty financing because ultimately he doesn't care, he's just trying to get that sale(nut). You're the one stuck with the car, paying for it, getting it fixed, etc. You can go back to the lot the next day and the salesman can be gone and you can't do shit, you're stuck.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Also to say that once the child is BORN, both are responsible, but I don't think that is what the thread is about.

I prolly have a bias(not because I'm male).

 

[black again]

This is true. But these situations are preventable to a certain extent. I mean condoms bust and pills fail, but if you aren't using them and you are not prepared to have a child then

True...BUT, for those kids that fall into the "certain extent", range... There are THOUSANDS of em, now...SORRY, you're on your own? (I know you don't mean it) BUT...Those kids affect all of society.. there's gotta be some kinda answer..

 

[Andeyhollawho]

True...BUT, for those kids that fall into the "certain extent", range... There are THOUSANDS of em, now...SORRY, you're on your own? (I know you don't mean it) BUT...Those kids affect all of society.. there's gotta be some kinda answer..

That's not what we are talking about though. The certain extent thing is to say that even if you are very careful you could still have a child. But most people aren't. Those are the people we are talking about.

A lot of women blame dead beat men for all of these children when I feel that if a woman does not want a child she should take steps to prevent it. Even if that means not fucking a dude you don't think could be a good potential father.

The "problem" you are talking about is the result of not having discussions like this.

 

[Twistyaaliyah]

im tired of u niggas who come with these foolish ass topics.

Its both the responsibility of man AND woman. Woman carries child... man carries the sperm. What YOU should do to make sure u dont impregnate a woman and run off once the time comes to be respsonsible is wear a condom etc.
Most of the time girls get preggers from men they thought they would have had a long lasting relationship with.

 

[jucurious]

i saw both
society says women


yes women are the vessel and according to society, repsonsible for the child


BUT...without you, 50% of you...it wouldn't have been possible


if a dude respects his dick he should wrap it up, be careful who he sticks it in.

the natural product of having sex is a child(s) unless there is something wrong medically...and ppl now that which is y they use barrier methods (in addition to STI's)

so with this knowledge BOTH parties are responsible

 

[Twistyaaliyah]

That's not what we are talking about though. The certain extent thing is to say that even if you are very careful you could still have a child. But most people aren't. Those are the people we are talking about.

A lot of women blame dead beat men for all of these children when I feel that if a woman does not want a child she should take steps to prevent it. Even if that means not fucking a dude you don't think could be a good potential father.

The "problem" you are talking about is the result of not having discussions like this.

U are a fuckin idiot. Things like this is y scientist try to make all sorts of shit for women to take that fuck them up in the long run...and it is also y decision makers make laws that cater to women cuz men think 'its the woman's responsibility.

Back in the days it was no if, ands or buts about if i should take care of the child and no argument about whose responsibility it is. A man was there to take care of the kid...now u got bitch niggas tryin to ration whose responsibility it is more than whom

 

[femmenoire]

U are a fuckin idiot. Things like this is y scientist try to make all sorts of shit for women to take that fuck them up in the long run...and it is also y decision makers make laws that cater to women cuz men think 'its the woman's responsibility.

Back in the days it was no if, ands or buts about if i should take care of the child and no argument about whose responsibility it is. A man was there to take care of the kid...now u got bitch niggas tryin to ration whose responsibility it is more than whom

co-sign.

anybody, man or woman who doesn't take care of their child is a fucking animal and belongs in a fucking cage.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

U are a fuckin idiot. Things like this is y scientist try to make all sorts of shit for women to take that fuck them up in the long run...and it is also y decision makers make laws that cater to women cuz men think 'its the woman's responsibility.

Back in the days it was no if, ands or buts about if i should take care of the child and no argument about whose responsibility it is. A man was there to take care of the kid...now u got bitch niggas tryin to ration whose responsibility it is more than whom

I'm not talking about taking care of children. I am talking about not having them in the first damn place if you don't want to take care of them. That is a man AND woman problem.

The ultimate responsibility lays with the woman to either not have sex or to not get pregnant. We can't do what you don't allow us to do.

If you have kids take care of your damn kids...men and women. It's fucked up I made a thread and said women protect yourselves pretty much against sorry ass men and women hop they ass in here to defend fucking sorry ass men.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

co-sign.

anybody, man or woman who doesn't take care of their child is a fucking animal and belongs in a fucking cage.

They should be taken out back and shot. I am not talking about that though. I'm saying don't have them.

There isn't shit that can be said after they are here.

 

[Twistyaaliyah]

I'm not talking about taking care of children. I am talking about not having them in the first damn place if you don't want to take care of them. That is a man AND woman problem.

The ultimate responsibility lays with the woman to either not have sex or to not get pregnant. We can't do what you don't allow us to do.

If you have kids take care of your damn kids...men and women. It's fucked up I made a thread and said women protect yourselves pretty much against sorry ass men and women hop they ass in here to defend fucking sorry ass men.

so how exactly do we kno sorry ass men. People have diff perceptions and diff reality's and i ain in their shoes and can't see like they can. U men can b the knight in shining armor until a child comes in the picture just like women can be the sweeting thing until u get married or after u have the child. Shit happens...people play up to you and act however they want.

Its gonna keep happening. Im tired of people talkin like this.
If people would raise their kids in a stable home maybe girls would not fall so easily...maybe girls wouldn't b such attention whores...maybe girls would think more of who can they bring home to their fathers. How can the do that if they dont have a father figure but just a mom who is tryin to work two jobs and aint got time for her and probably her other siblings?

chris rock said...the relationship that girls have with their fathers would effect the type men she deals with for the rest of her life...and its so true.

Father figures also effects the way males behave in society aswell.

wat should happen is men take care of ur children esp ur female children and then that problem may not present itself so often.
Father play a more important role in child rearing than u think. Women take on a more emotional nurturing role and males take on the instrumental and tactical role. Basically fathers would focus on a more distant role and a concern for external relationships with the family and other institutions & people...while mothers would maintain harmony and probably the intertal emotional affairs of the family and within it.

based on that i would say that it is the fathers responsibility to be a good person, b there to raise their children and alot of these issue may not presend themselves as much

 

[Andeyhollawho]

^^^
This is all very true, but it's still an excuse.

You don't need a father to tell you to REQUIRE your man to put on a condom or for YOU to pop a pill? Infact the two should ALWAYS go hand in hand. Now if the men are not stepping up and doing there job (read below) shouldn't women ban together and teach these girls a thing or two? I know 30 year old women who will get pregnant to try and keep a man.

It's not rocket science and it's not unprecedented. A lot of women around here are not making good father choices and now you say that's because of the men that are or are not in their life? What about the mothers? Especially if they are single. They shouldn't want their daughters to make the same mistakes they did.

And let's stop bashing the men ok. That's some shit that the media has hyped up. Most men take care of their kids. Really. Every guy I know with a kid out of wedlock takes care of theirs even if the mothers make it difficult as hell on them.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

I fucking knew that this conversation, which is a GOOD one, wouldn't fucking play over here because people would catch feeling. Andey isn't talking about once the child is born. Andey isn't even talking about when the woman is pregnant. He is talking about the events leading up to and during sex. In that time frame, the woman is the one who has the greater responsibility. She is taking ALL the risk.

HER BODY HAS TO CHANGE
HER BODY CARRIES THE CHILD FOR 9 MONTHS
SHE MUST DEAL WITH MORNING SICKNESS
SHE MUST BUY NEW CLOTHES
SHE MUST GET PRENATAL CARE
SHE MUST EAT HEALTHY SO THE BABY DOES
SHE MUST REGULARLY SEE THE DOCTOR
SHE CAN DIE FROM PREGNANCY ISSUES
SHE CAN DIE FROM BIRTHING ISSUES
SHE WILL BE CUT OPEN IF THE BABY NEEDS TO BE A CEASARIAN
SHE, IF PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, WILL BE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT ALONE.

Knowing all that, and just assuming that you're dealing with the lowest common denominator nigga, why would you put yourself at risk? A smart woman would have condoms at all times and insist on the partner wearing them. Niggas have a responsibility too, but it falls more on the women because they are risking more.

If your boss wants to pay you in cash and you know you have to walk home through the roughest neighborhoods, you're going to insist he give you a check, so you don't get robbed on the way home. The odds of you getting robbed aren't that high, but you want to take that precaution anyway because in the off-chance that it happens, the consequences are terrible and you have to deal with it.

THERE IS NO REDO. LIFE AINT FUCKING TiVO. YOU CANNOT REWIND SHIT.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

^^^

And there it is.

This is what we are talking about people. Do you beleive this to be true or not.

 

[SinaminDelite]

I'm so tired of topics like this. Yes condoms break. If you as a man want to have sex but don't want the responsibility of having a child, go get your tubes tied. That is a process that is reversible, and much safer than the options that women have. Go Google "birth control side effects" and see what I mean. You guys forget it takes two to make a child, so stop with the "it's a woman's responsibility not to get pregnant" response. Telling a female that her two options are "either not have sex or to not get pregnant" is unrealistic. A man can do the same.

As far as having children out of wedlock, once the deed is done, be a man/woman and do for your child. They didn't ask to be here, and now due to your irresponsibility here they are, so do what you can to provide for them.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

I'm so tired of topics like this. Yes condoms break. If you as a man want to have sex but don't want the responsibility of having a child, go get your tubes tied. That is a process that is reversible, and much safer than the options that women have. Go Google "birth control side effects" and see what I mean. You guys forget it takes two to make a child, so stop with the "it's a woman's responsibility not to get pregnant" response. Telling a female that her two options are "either not have sex or to not get pregnant" is unrealistic. A man can do the same.

As far as having children out of wedlock, once the deed is done, be a man/woman and do for your child. They didn't ask to be here, and now due to your irresponsibility here they are, so do what you can to provide for them.

This is acceptable. You talk about the side effects of birth control. I'm not a woman so please enlighten me on that. Real talk. But there is also such a thing as requiring men to use those condoms. If they break they break. But is that requirement always there in these "baby mama" situations. No.

But you are forgetting a big part of what I said. It's also about the choice. I can choose to fuck any woman I want just like a woman can fuck any man. But it's who you CHOOSE to be careful with and who you don't. I hear the thing about men lie. Hell women do too. But if I'm gonna fuck a chick raw it will be somebody I am ready to have a child with and am prepared to marry.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

And for the record ladies...I didn't make this topic to piss ya'll off or bash. I am saying protect yourselves and think before you fuck. You have more to loose than us. Seriously.

 

[fourth_retired]

I fucking knew that this conversation, which is a GOOD one, wouldn't fucking play over here because people would catch feeling. Andey isn't talking about once the child is born. Andey isn't even talking about when the woman is pregnant. He is talking about the events leading up to and during sex. In that time frame, the woman is the one who has the greater responsibility. She is taking ALL the risk.

HER BODY HAS TO CHANGE
HER BODY CARRIES THE CHILD FOR 9 MONTHS
SHE MUST DEAL WITH MORNING SICKNESS
SHE MUST BUY NEW CLOTHES
SHE MUST GET PRENATAL CARE
SHE MUST EAT HEALTHY SO THE BABY DOES
SHE MUST REGULARLY SEE THE DOCTOR
SHE CAN DIE FROM PREGNANCY ISSUES
SHE CAN DIE FROM BIRTHING ISSUES
SHE WILL BE CUT OPEN IF THE BABY NEEDS TO BE A CEASARIAN
SHE, IF PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, WILL BE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT ALONE.

Knowing all that, and just assuming that you're dealing with the lowest common denominator nigga, why would you put yourself at risk? A smart woman would have condoms at all times and insist on the partner wearing them. Niggas have a responsibility too, but it falls more on the women because they are risking more.

If your boss wants to pay you in cash and you know you have to walk home through the roughest neighborhoods, you're going to insist he give you a check, so you don't get robbed on the way home. The odds of you getting robbed aren't that high, but you want to take that precaution anyway because in the off-chance that it happens, the consequences are terrible and you have to deal with it.

THERE IS NO REDO. LIFE AINT FUCKING TiVO. YOU CANNOT REWIND SHIT.

sooo true.

 

[bigjayler]

Don't let a nigga fuck without protection, it's that simple.
COSIGN

 

[Twistyaaliyah]

i have a solution...lets go back to old times since u all are suppose to be MEN. Y not marry the women b4 u have sex with them. U and her would both choose wisely. Children wont b born out of wedlock... problem solved.

 

[ladyscorpio]

This is acceptable. You talk about the side effects of birth control. I'm not a woman so please enlighten me on that. Real talk. But there is also such a thing as requiring men to use those condoms. If they break they break. But is that requirement always there in these "baby mama" situations. No.

But you are forgetting a big part of what I said. It's also about the choice. I can choose to fuck any woman I want just like a woman can fuck any man. But it's who you CHOOSE to be careful with and who you don't. I hear the thing about men lie. Hell women do too. But if I'm gonna fuck a chick raw it will be somebody I am ready to have a child with and am prepared to marry.

http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=210916&highlight=Birth+Control+Pill


hope this enlightens you somewhat Andey.



peace

 

[LeroyDibiase]

No one is saying "Women don't fuck" or "Women it's your fault"; it's more "Hey you guys have the most to lose if there is a fuckup, so maybe you should take extra precaution".

I'd love to see the stats for pregnancies from broken condoms. I bet it is <.01%,

You don't have to take birth control. I'm talking simple steps like requiring all partners to wear a condom. If you aren't actively trying to get pregnant, why wouldn't you have protection. WE don't get pregnant, unfortunately YOU get pregnant. If men were the ones who had babies, I would def take much on the responsibility on myself. It's not a gender thing or one of those societal biases like chivalry or female domestication, I'm talking biology, anatomy and physiology.

No one is blaming women, once it has been done it is 50/50 right down the middle. But before then....

 

[rNubb]

Honest women no what time it is. They know who is responsible. We all know who is responsible. I have been with the same woman for 20 years. She decided when we had each and every child. Single chicks love to pass the buck. Older women refuse to school their younger sistas. We all fail to enlighten the next generation of womb bearers.

This is one area of discussion where too many women decide to deny reality.

 

[doublejizzle]

This is a tough one, BUT at the end of the day a woman has to be responsible for herself. That does not mean that the man is free of responsibility, but the man is not the one who gets stuck with the kid in his stomach.

 

[SinaminDelite]

This is acceptable. You talk about the side effects of birth control. I'm not a woman so please enlighten me on that. Real talk. But there is also such a thing as requiring men to use those condoms. If they break they break. But is that requirement always there in these "baby mama" situations. No.

But you are forgetting a big part of what I said. It's also about the choice. I can choose to fuck any woman I want just like a woman can fuck any man. But it's who you CHOOSE to be careful with and who you don't. I hear the thing about men lie. Hell women do too. But if I'm gonna fuck a chick raw it will be somebody I am ready to have a child with and am prepared to marry.

Side effects include:
- vision damage
- stroke
- heart attack
- depression
- anxiety
- blood clots
- breast and cervical cancer (controversial, but some say there's a link w/pills and these two types of cancer)
- liver tumors
.... and those are only the "major" side effects.

And you forgot about another choice you have. You can choose to protect yourself and get a vasectomy until you find a partner you want to have children with. You can also choose to speak to your partner about making sure that a baby isn't on the agenda for you two. I can't speak for every woman, but those who value themselves do not have sex w/o any kind of protection. And as a man, you should be looking at any chick sideways who in this day and age fucks random guys raw.

 

[femmenoire]

This is why I cannot wait until we no longer need men.

Just fuck them and their loser ass mentalities.

We can get off without them. We can have kids without them.

We really should just live without them.

Every time you involve them in your lives, this is what you'll get.

Women are here to procreate yet men have a problem with this very natural behavior...well only if it somehow affects them.

Just leave them be.

 

[owl]

This is why I cannot wait until we no longer need men.

Just fuck them and their loser ass mentalities.

We can get off without them. We can have kids without them.

We really should just live without them.

Every time you involve them in your lives, this is what you'll get.

Women are here to procreate yet men have a problem with this very natural behavior...well only if it somehow affects them.

Just leave them be.

WHOA
WHOA
WHOA

Femme, do you really believe that all men should be exterminated based on the replies read on a thread here? SOL is only a subsidiary of BGOL...

CALM DOWN, CHILE....

 

[MCP]

i have a solution...lets go back to old times since u all are suppose to be MEN. Y not marry the women b4 u have sex with them. U and her would both choose wisely. Children wont b born out of wedlock... problem solved.

I gonna have to agree with you on this one. Men and Women, choose your partners more carefully.

Once a child comes into this world no matter what the circumstances are, its the responsibilty of both parents to love and care for the child.

 

[Twistyaaliyah]

Side effects include:
- vision damage
- stroke
- heart attack
- depression
- anxiety
- blood clots
- breast and cervical cancer (controversial, but some say there's a link w/pills and these two types of cancer)
- liver tumors
.... and those are only the "major" side effects.

And you forgot about another choice you have. You can choose to protect yourself and get a vasectomy until you find a partner you want to have children with. You can also choose to speak to your partner about making sure that a baby isn't on the agenda for you two. I can't speak for every woman, but those who value themselves do not have sex w/o any kind of protection. And as a man, you should be looking at any chick sideways who in this day and age fucks random guys raw.

dese men aint no shit. Half dat info is at the end of many birf control pill adverts

 

[Andeyhollawho]

This is why I cannot wait until we no longer need men.

Just fuck them and their loser ass mentalities.

We can get off without them. We can have kids without them.

We really should just live without them.

Every time you involve them in your lives, this is what you'll get.

Women are here to procreate yet men have a problem with this very natural behavior...well only if it somehow affects them.

Just leave them be.

I see somebody hasn't been reading.

We are trying to protect women and asking that ya'll help out and do the same and this is what we get?

 

[doublejizzle]

This is why I cannot wait until we no longer need men.

Just fuck them and their loser ass mentalities.

We can get off without them. We can have kids without them.

We really should just live without them.

Every time you involve them in your lives, this is what you'll get.

Women are here to procreate yet men have a problem with this very natural behavior...well only if it somehow affects them.

Just leave them be.

Oh Lord, tell em why you mad. I see it as both people share responsibility, but ultimately you have to look out for #1 and the man is not the one left with a full belly. I am not saying that in a committed marriage or relationship where both parties wanted a child, BUT when you are having casual sex, have some standards.

It is a shame that out of all the women i have been with in my life, only 2-3 were adamant about me using protection....the rest did not care. I am not into shooting the dice so I used to bring my OWN protection, but at the same time it is quite a shame at how many people are out there just fukking and busting a nut....all with no protection.

All i am saying is be real. If YOU(a woman) are the one who has the MOST to lose, why chance it?

 

[Andeyhollawho]

i have a solution...lets go back to old times since u all are suppose to be MEN. Y not marry the women b4 u have sex with them. U and her would both choose wisely. Children wont b born out of wedlock... problem solved.

Yes. Let's go back to the old times LADIES. To where you didn't have sex with a man until you were married to one.

Yeah that's gonna happen any minute now.

Why is this such a touchy subject. Don't accept this bullshit that ya'll don't have power over us ladies, because ya'll have all the power in the world. If you say no sex then we get no sex. Now you may say he will just move on, but if he move on because you won't have sex with him or because he doesn't want to put on a condom then WHY IN THE FUCK DO YOU WANT HIM ANYWAY?

This is my question. Can you not tell this nigga to step off with that bareback shit BEFORE a child is brought into the world. We can't make them if ya'll don't let us.