Cheating in a Relationship

[jucurious]

This is something all of us are familiar with whether it be that you were the actor, victim, friend that hooked it up, friend that consoled the victim or w/e


is it unrealistic to expect to NOT be cheated on in a relationship?

someone told me one time that I was unrealistic and that all women should expect to be cheated on at least once in each relationship (i cussed his ass out, glad he was a male friend and not a prospect..anyway)

i've talked to "descent" dudes and have heard:
1) sometimes you can't help but give into temptation
2) just because you do it doesn't mean that you don't care about the girl
3) as long as the girl aint their close friend, you str8
4) she better look hella good cuz the girl will get mad if she is ugly
5) as long as you don't make it a habit and keep that life seperate
6) when you hide it, you care about the chic whereas if you do it in front of their face, you don't respect them
7) she knows i'm coming back to her, and she is getting the most of me


and i've even heard some chics:
1) as long as he comes home to me its all good
2) he's a guy, he don't know no better
3) i get the most of em
4) it don't matter cuz i'm his main chic and i can be seen w/ him in public whereas they creepin
5) as long as when i call he drops w/e and whoever he is doing to see what i want...we good
6) as long as its not too often im good
7) just make sure i don't find out


now...some of these have come from ppl i consider to be wack and some have come from ppl you would be like "you have GOT to be kidding me....you're great in every way...wtf"

soooooooooooooooooo

let's be real and be adult about this conversation

is it unrealistic?

if your not giving what you need to do ask for it from ur sig other or do you just got get it somewhere else?

talk to me yall

 

[Shadow]

I have been told I could cheat with a girl that SHE (former GF) picked out for me in her absence.

Go figure.

 

[TheIntelCritic]

Most don't cheat for sport. Most people who cheat do it for the fundamental reason that something is lacking in their relationship.

Here are some examples:

1) Wifey don't give me head.
2) Wifey don't give me brown eye (anal)
3) Wifey don't swallow
4) Wifey complain too much
5) Wifey is spending all of my money
6) Wifey is a lazy fuck in bed
7) Wifey ain't that good looking to me

and the list goes on. In general, people cheat because something is either missing or something much much better came along.

 

[Harlem's Angel]

I don't think its unrealistic to expect it but you have to be prepared for it because it is very likely to happen. My mother told me very clearly that all men cheat and there is nothing you can do about it. She has had some pretty bad experiences with men so she's a lil jaded anyway, but I don't agree with her. I just say be prepared for when if happens and don't make any rash decisions based on your first emotion.


And for the girl who say's I'm the main chick or he's gonna come home to me... Grow a backbone and order a side of self-esteem/self-worth.

 

[doggish_098]

the thing with "cheating" is people say yeah i'm fucking other girls/guys whatever "but when i get married i am going to stop". How do people figure they can just stop something cold turkey that they have been doing for years on top of years?

 

[bigirl]

I don't trust any man so I refuse to make any type of so called monogamous agreement.

 

[kurrupt]

I don't trust any man so I refuse to make any type of so called monogamous agreement.

Thats funny, i dont trust any chick. I'll play my part but I reserve my feelings knowing that day is coming.

 

[outlaw]

not sure if women can relate but it is very true what they say...
You can't stop a man from looking and Aint no pussy better than new pussy

You dont have to go out looking for it either, it can just fall in your lap. So given all the wrong circumstances, even the strongest could turn weak for a few mins... and that's all it takes. Its alot like Jody from BabyBoy actually.

 

[PrincessC]

the thing with "cheating" is people say yeah i'm fucking other girls/guys whatever "but when i get married i am going to stop". How do people figure they can just stop something cold turkey that they have been doing for years on top of years?

EXACTLY...cheating is a habit, and if in all your years of dating you've never been faithful, a ring is not going to prevent you from doing otherwise in marriage.

To me, to cheat or not to cheat is about self control and respect for the person you are with. Just because a chick is naked or has her tits in your face is NOT a good reason to cheat, and I'm tired of guys using the excuse "she seduced me". That is a weak, wack, and immature excuse for you just wanting to get your nuts off.

You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want to be in a relationship, then either 1) you and your chick need to have an understanding that it's not monogamous and you can sleep around or 2) control yourself and walk away from situations were you can be weak or 3) just don't be in a damn relationship. It's really not that complicated.

 

[outlaw]

Here are some examples:

1) Wifey don't give me head.
2) Wifey don't give me brown eye (anal)
3) Wifey don't swallow
4) Wifey complain too much
5) Wifey is spending all of my money
6) Wifey is a lazy fuck in bed
7) Wifey ain't that good looking to me

Even though he's an FTP, he has a point.
It's 1000x easier when we get the notion that wifey would rather spend the weekend shopping rather than fucking.
So we are quick and easy to accept a jumpoff that is urging to fuck us! It feels like the lotto

 

[doggish_098]

EXACTLY...cheating is a habit, and if in all your years of dating you've never been faithful, a ring is not going to prevent you from doing otherwise in marriage.

To me, to cheat or not to cheat is about self control and respect for the person you are with. Just because a chick is naked or has her tits in your face is NOT a good reason to cheat, and I'm tired of guys using the excuse "she seduced me". That is a weak, wack, and immature excuse for you just wanting to get your nuts off.

You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want to be in a relationship, then either 1) you and your chick need to have an understanding that it's not monogamous and you can sleep around or 2) control yourself and walk away from situations were you can be weak or 3) just don't be in a damn relationship. It's really not that complicated.

good answers but there are women out there doing the same dirt at men. The only difference is women are more stealth with their shit. A dude is going to fuck up and talk about it to the wrong person a woman is taking that shit to her grave.

 

[PrincessC]

good answers but there are women out there doing the same dirt at men. The only difference is women are more stealth with their shit. A dude is going to fuck up and talk about it to the wrong person a woman is taking that shit to her grave.

That's because women are snoops, and also, we know in our hearts when our man has not been faithful. Guys are not exactly the best at covering their trails either

 

[YouLikeMyStyle]

the thing with "cheating" is people say yeah i'm fucking other girls/guys whatever "but when i get married i am going to stop". How do people figure they can just stop something cold turkey that they have been doing for years on top of years?

very true. unfortunately, guys and girls alike feel that this is true. many girls stay with men who cheat on them constantly and wait for that ring...

EXACTLY...cheating is a habit, and if in all your years of dating you've never been faithful, a ring is not going to prevent you from doing otherwise in marriage.

To me, to cheat or not to cheat is about self control and respect for the person you are with. Just because a chick is naked or has her tits in your face is NOT a good reason to cheat, and I'm tired of guys using the excuse "she seduced me". That is a weak, wack, and immature excuse for you just wanting to get your nuts off.

You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want to be in a relationship, then either 1) you and your chick need to have an understanding that it's not monogamous and you can sleep around or 2) control yourself and walk away from situations were you can be weak or 3) just don't be in a damn relationship. It's really not that complicated.

co-sign. this is a very hard concept for men because i feel they are generally self-centered. they are ONLY thinking about themseleves when they are cheating, period. they are not thinking about their girl/wife at all--if they did, they probably wouldn't do it. this is why guys can carry on relationships with several different women; each woman gives them something different.

 

[iron fist]

Just my quick take on the subject. I've never cheated on any woman I've dated. I've been tempted, but my conscience won't let me. I've been cheated on myself and would never inflict that kind of hurt on a woman I supposedly care about. Anyway....

This is something all of us are familiar with whether it be that you were the actor, victim, friend that hooked it up, friend that consoled the victim or w/e


is it unrealistic to expect to NOT be cheated on in a relationship?

No. A real man would never cheat on his woman. But, if you're dealing with a boy who doesn't know his head from his dick head, then yes it is unrealistic.


someone told me one time that I was unrealistic and that all women should expect to be cheated on at least once in each relationship (i cussed his ass out, glad he was a male friend and not a prospect..anyway)

You were right to give him the business. The problem is a lot of women just hook up with the wrong men (and vice versa).

i've talked to "decent" dudes and have heard:
1) sometimes you can't help but give into temptation
That's when you have to take a step back and think "okay, If I sleep with this chick what's going to happen afterwards?" That's part of being an adult. There's always temptation.

2) just because you do it doesn't mean that you don't care about the girl
That might have a grain of truth. A lot of times if a man cheats, it's not that he doesn't have love for his girl, he just has love for every other girl, too. Notice I say "has love" not "in love with." To truly be in love means having respect for your partner. That's what it boils down too -- RESPECT!


3) as long as the girl aint their close friend, you str8
Bullshit. Might make the situation worse when everything comes to the light. And it always come to the light.

4) she better look hella good cuz the girl will get mad if she is ugly
Again bullshit. I think the reasoning for that comes from too many women tying their self-worth to their physical appearance. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Men don't cheat because of appearance. I've known many dudes have a main girl and a side girl, and the side girl isn't anything to really talk about.

5) as long as you don't make it a habit and keep that life seperate
A chick with really low self-esteem might put up with that. A woman with an inkling of sense wouldn't.

6) when you hide it, you care about the chic whereas if you do it in front of their face, you don't respect them
When you hide it, you're a disrespectful coward whereas when you're up front you're just disrespectful. One of my exes had that same theory. That's why she's an ex.

7) she knows i'm coming back to her, and she is getting the most of me
Same as question #5.


and i've even heard some chics:
1) as long as he comes home to me its all good
This is a woman so beat up by a string of bad relationships and bad choices, she'll take whatever scraps she can get.

2) he's a guy, he don't know no better
That's cool if he's two-years-old. If he's thirty two, he knows better. He just doesn't care.

3) i get the most of em
I thought in a real, committed relationship both parties should give 100%. Not 90% or 70%.

4) it don't matter cuz i'm his main chic and i can be seen w/ him in public whereas they creepin
To me that's like living a lie.

5) as long as when i call he drops w/e and whoever he is doing to see what i want...we good
What? Isn't denial the first stage of addiction?

6) as long as its not too often im good
Denial by trying to minimize the issue.

7) just make sure i don't find out
She'll find out one way or another. No matter what.


now...some of these have come from ppl i consider to be wack and some have come from ppl you would be like "you have GOT to be kidding me....you're great in every way...wtf"


if your not giving what you need to do ask for it from ur sig other or do you just got get it somewhere else?
You mean "getting" what you need I assume. Men and women don't communicate the same way. Hinting around doesn't work with us. Neither does coming at us like a mad woman. You have to put it in plain English but you also need to listen to him. Many times when one partner is dissatisfied, so is the other. It has to be a continual process. That means you need to discuss issues before they become issues. If you find you still can't a middle ground, maybe you should part ways and cut your losses. But cheating is never the answer, it's a symptom of some other issue that neither party seems to want to address.

That's my point of view.

 

[jucurious]

ok

so if the thing that is "missing" in your relationship is sooo major that you step out of the relationship....do you bring it up to ur sig other? do yall talk about it?


again, if it is that major, then y not end the relationship being that the person isn't going to give it to you and your going to have to constantly go out the relationship to get it?

and yeah ppl are gonna look...but do you have to touch?

is new "pussy" worth jepordizing a good relationship? that question can also be applied to w/e it is that you are going outside the relationship for.

 

[OnSlaught]

I'll tell you like this, grown folk don't need to cheat...we communicate. If there's something lacking, what the hell am I going to go put more wasted energy in someone who I'm fuckin' with on the side only to eventually get grief about it with my main woman? Doesn't make any sense. Either we can resolve the issues or we can't, and if we can't then we make the split amicably.

If someone cheats on you it will hurt a bit if you care for them. If you care for them back maybe you can work it out.

If you don't care for them, tell them fuck you and keep it moving.

Sometimes, it's just that simple...

 

[jucurious]

Just my quick take on the subject. I've never cheated on any woman I've dated. I've been tempted, but my conscience won't let me. I've been cheated on myself and would never inflict that kind of hurt on a woman I supposedly care about. Anyway....



That's my point of view.

you made me crack a big kool-aid smile

especially w/ your points about temptation and respect.

people are tempted all the time and make conscious decisions of whether to give in to it or not...don't say you couldn't resist...cuz you could have and you chose to whether it be b/c you didn't think about the after effects or you felt the after effects would be minimal.


keep that mentality brotha and PLEASE pass it along.

 

[jucurious]

I'll tell you like this, grown folk don't need to cheat...we communicate. If there's something lacking, what the hell am I going to go put more wasted energy in someone who I'm fuckin' with on the side only to eventually get grief about it with my main woman? Doesn't make any sense. Either we can resolve the issues or we can't, and if we can't then we make the split amicably.

If someone cheats on you it will hurt a bit if you care for them. If you care for them back maybe you can work it out.

If you don't care for them, tell them fuck you and keep it moving.

Sometimes, it's just that simple...

your stock value in the fyneness market just trippled


SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE ADULTS!!!!

and ladies....stop hinting shit!!! i know it gets a lil annoying sometimes cuz ur like damn "anyone with common sense would see that ( fill in the blank) but ... common sense aint that common. save both parties the aggreviation and just talk; ask for what you want. eventually both parties will get to the point in which they can communicate in silence...but that takes time

 

[Izayoi]

EXACTLY...cheating is a habit, and if in all your years of dating you've never been faithful, a ring is not going to prevent you from doing otherwise in marriage.

To me, to cheat or not to cheat is about self control

I tend to agree. Many of our behaviors are habits and just like smoking or overeating habits are hard to break. It comes down to choices and like Ons said communication. I respect that people may be polyamorous and in that case if there's clear communication and expectations and boundaries, I don't consider that cheating. However, what was listed by Ju in the original post sounds like people making excuses rather than confront their habits and choices and the impacts of both.

I'll tell you like this, grown folk don't need to cheat...we communicate. If there's something lacking, what the hell am I going to go put more wasted energy in someone who I'm fuckin' with on the side only to eventually get grief about it with my main woman? Doesn't make any sense. Either we can resolve the issues or we can't, and if we can't then we make the split amicably.

If someone cheats on you it will hurt a bit if you care for them. If you care for them back maybe you can work it out.

If you don't care for them, tell them fuck you and keep it moving.

Sometimes, it's just that simple...

Yes sir it is.

 

[PrincessC]

I'll tell you like this, grown folk don't need to cheat...we communicate. If there's something lacking, what the hell am I going to go put more wasted energy in someone who I'm fuckin' with on the side only to eventually get grief about it with my main woman? Doesn't make any sense. Either we can resolve the issues or we can't, and if we can't then we make the split amicably.

If someone cheats on you it will hurt a bit if you care for them. If you care for them back maybe you can work it out.

If you don't care for them, tell them fuck you and keep it moving.

Sometimes, it's just that simple...

Real talk Ons...

 

[CT's Finest]

In my opinion, cheating is never necessary. I would rather leave my woman or have her leave me than to be in a situation where either one of us cheat. I think if anything is missing in our relationship, one of us should step up and bring it to the table. If all needs are not met, then she and I should go our separate ways...

 

[REMINGTON_BLACK]

I Will Never Cheat Myself!

 

[jucurious]

I Will Never Cheat Myself!

hmmm how am i supposed to interpret that?


u will never cheat in a relationship?

u will never cheat urself out of ur needs and wants?

can you elaborate please?

 

[REMINGTON_BLACK]

hmmm how am i supposed to interpret that?


u will never cheat in a relationship?

u will never cheat urself out of ur needs and wants?

can you elaborate please?

YOU HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF. JUST LIKE I DID.

 

[Iron]

I've already made post about cheating.

Princess C and Onslaught said the exact same thing I said.

That cheating shit is not fly.

That shit makes my stomach turn.

 

[doggish_098]

I Will Never Cheat Myself!

never say never man. Im not saying you will but you dont know what you will do when put into a certain situation.

 

[REMINGTON_BLACK]

never say never man. Im not saying you will but you dont know what you will do when put into a certain situation.

............................

 

[Crown&Coke]

I have cheated before in a relationship. It wasnt no "she seduced me" bullshit either. My girl at the time, we had a lot of problems, then on top of that she didnt give head and was lazy as hell with sex so I cheated. It wasnt the right thing to do, I see that now but hindsight is 20/20.

After goin through some bad relationships and being cheated on myself I would rather break up with a woman than cheat. I also learned that communication is usually the main problem. You cant hint at what you want, you have to really voice your wants and needs and lay it out there.

Although I have cheated and been cheated on, I still think its realistic to expect not to be cheated on. There are people that dont cheat and just becuz someone has cheated in a previous relationship doesnt mean they will do it in their next relationship. Once people realize that you wont have these people running around saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" and "all men/women cheat."​

 

[Pussy Krook]

First of all this goes both ways women cheat too.

I cheated when i was younger but like others have said when you are an adult you are suppose to have self control and communicate.

There is no good reason to cheat.