Blowjob Etiquette

[ChocolateLava30]

Blowjob Etiquette (by a female)

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not
standard
practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard,
deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke
on your
dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it
through
your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly
obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls
- if
you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me
I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards is
highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the
future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the
origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're
good at
it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow
jobs
often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either
sympathize
or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to
"kiss
it good morning".

I Will have you know that this could be a mini book, and it would go to the top of the best seller's list. You have summed it up in a nutshell LOL! Every man needs to read this.

 

[RepostKing]

*edit*

Blowjob Etiquette (by a Black female)

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not
standard
practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard,
deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke
on your
dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it
through
your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly
obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls
- if
you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me
I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards is
highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the
future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the
origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're
good at
it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow
jobs
often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either
sympathize
or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to
"kiss
it good morning".

 

[nofrillz]

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.


to start with, this is a bad attitude toward being in a realtionship for both men and women (eating pussy too)

in a loving relationship BOTH people ARE OBLIGATED to fulfill each others needs and BOTH should be GRATEFUL for the other attemps...

if your doing me a favor by giving some head and your going to do it like sucking a dick is like eating broccoli then fuck it dont bother, imma have to leave and find someone else...

that list sound like it was writen by a highschool girl

 

[followup]

I know you always advocate a man being a waste of life if he doesn't perform cunnilingus and that you always seem to be telling black men to "man up" I'm just saying.

Who'da thunk you was a deep throating, shiny lipped, no teeth-all gums, ambidextrous jawed, slick tongued, suck-a-dick-aholic?