All good things come to an end, right? Well it seems that way... and if this ends I'm done with this love shit and that's on God...
So here I am bragging about this woman, introducing her to my close friends group, making moves and planning with her as if she's my wife. I even got her a ring (2.28 CT oval diamond in a Tiffany setting) and was ready to make it permanent and give her my last name.
Imagine my surprise when a couple weeks ago she hits me with that good ole "we need to talk" line. I'm completely blindsided by the conversation. I've been honest about my situation here and with her, and she did pull me up from a tough spot. I moved in with her from living in a hotel, and we've been rocking together for the better part of a year. She tells me that here recently she's grown resentment towards me because she feels as if she's taken on a lot of responsibility with me and my kids.
I'm completely shocked by this statement.
It's not like I just moved in and was some bum... I contribute and pay my share of everything. Rent is paid equitably, as in we both contribute 25% of our monthly take home towards it. We take turns buying groceries for the entire household, gas for her car since i drive it on weekends, and date nights. Everything seemed like a well oiled machine and one helluva partnership. So again, imagine my surprise in this conversation and her feeling this way.
I ask her what's needed to fix this, get her back to normal, and this relationship back on track. Of course she doesn't know, she knows it's something, but can't verbalize it. I press her because to me, if we leave the discussion with no measurables to work towards every issue she had will come back up in a week or 2 and we'll be back to square one. I listen to what her biggest complaints were along with the resentment thing and try to work on them. I skip out on the gym a bit, spend more time with her, attempt to squeeze in more date nights, etc. I know that, in my head, based on what she said this is fixable and we can definitely continue to move forward. So even without the things laid out as far as what's to be done, I feel these are things that address some of the issues she has based on just listening to her and trying to read between the lines.
Guys, guess what happened 2 weeks later? THE SAME FCKN ISSUE COMES BACK UP!!!
at this point I'm confused and I tell her flat out I'm at a standstill with my life because of her. There are things I want to do but can't because I don't know what's next with US. I mention how I don't have any issues with her or the relationship, how this is stuff she has to work thru, and I'm willing to help and change and work on myself if that's what I have to do to make things better for her. So she brings up the romance is gone thing and says that with us moving so quickly into marriage mode she feels it never truly developed as it should have. She then says that she's having a hard time balancing being in my kids lives, having a relationship with them and having the romantic relationship with me. I squash that IMMEDIATELY. First off my kids are older (17 and 13 this year) and they love her to pieces. In my head I'm like "OK spider you were right, turn on the charm and remain consistent with everything else will fall into place... CRISIS AVERTED."
Then comes the bomb. After some other things are said she pretty much tells me that the best way, in her opinion, to save the relationship and to bring the romance back is for us to live separately again... me in my place, her in her place... and we see each other however many times we see each other during the week and on weekends.
Y'all, I'm not doing that. If I leave this home with her this relationship is done. We either figure this shit out together or never talk to me again.
And before anyone says it or asks, I told her once that this conversation seemed out of character for her and that someone has gotten in her ear... it was too out of the blue a conversation and way of thinking for her to just feel all at once. When shit is too random there's always a 3rd party involved.
