Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal?

[playahaitian]

The last few days I had a just a horrible run of luck health-wise, death, money just happened back to back for some reason out of the blue.

Damn near felt like I was gonna have an anxiety attack...

I had never reacted to stress like that before

As a Black Man father husband we really can't show any weakness

Have you ever just had a a tough run and how did you deal with it.

Its interesting that many people pretty much tell people to pray...

and that's it.

 

[Drayonis]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Brother, one of the things I learned to do was just let go. I keep telling myself as long as I'm still breathing then it's whatever.

 

[ShadyPat]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

The thing about stress is, what you are stressing about another man will laugh about it....this year I got dumped by a woman I probably cared for way too much and got in a car accident and had to remove to of my wisdom tooths..seems like part of life but everything hit me at the same time. I prayed a lot Fam it helped believe me.

 

[Temujin]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Absolutely I have been to hell and back. It's not easy. One thing that helps me is meditation. Also realizing that life goes up and down you will feast and you will have times of famine. The key is not to get to high with the highs and too low with the lows. Stay even. Don't celebrate your successes too much and you won't lament your woes as much. Moderation and keeping it even. It will help you not overextend yourself as well as last through the tough times. Wish you the best my brother your fortune will come back around you just have to have patience.

 

[Naha-Nago]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal


Roughly 5 years ago in the course of one month...

-I got wrongfully terminated from my job during the great rescission

-Had a huge falling out with my lady at the time

-Had to resort to living in my truck/on by man's couch off and on for 6 months.

-Baby on the way, with the same women who I bad a falling out with, whose threatening to sue me (she was a lawyer...I sure do pick em!) every other week.

-Emptied out my 401k to live and go to finish up my degree I was hours out on.

This went on every day for two fucking years.

I dealt with it the same way you'd eat an elephant...one bite at a time. Break the issue down into smaller component that you can handle that day, hell that hour. Small victories add up.


Two things I learned....


-When your going through hell KEEP GOING. It will eventually turn around.

-However bad you have it someone has it worse than you. There are people whose only wish is to not be facing death everyday.







* two cents *

 

[militantmidget]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Brother, one of the things I learned to do was just let go. I keep telling myself as long as I'm still breathing then it's whatever.

Good point

 

[militantmidget]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Roughly 5 years ago in the course of one month...

-I got wrongfully terminated from my job during the great rescission

-Had a huge falling out with my lady at the time

-Had to resort to living in my truck/on by man's couch off and on for 6 months.

-Baby on the way, with the same women who I bad a falling out with, whose threatening to sue me (she was a lawyer...I sure do pick em!) every other week.

-Emptied out my 401k to live and go to finish up my degree I was hours out on.

This went on every day for two fucking years.

I dealt with it the same way you'd eat an elephant...one bite at a time. Break the issue down into smaller component that you can handle that day, hell that hour. Small victories add up.


Two things I learned....


-When your going through hell KEEP GOING. It will eventually turn around.

-However bad you have it someone has it worse than you. There are people whose only wish is to not be facing death everyday.







* two cents *

Did you lose alot in penalties and taxes when you cashed in your 401k?

 

[cashwhisperer]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Anger is a form of attachment. So is Fear. Remove them and you'll feel free.

 

[playahaitian]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

appreciate the words fam...

 

[playahaitian]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Brother, one of the things I learned to do was just let go. I keep telling myself as long as I'm still breathing then it's whatever.

its hard as hell to do man but you right, I hate the feeling of not being able to CONTROL the situations.

My littlest one is sick and will need surgery and its eating me up inside.

Its the feeling of powerlessness that's getting to me.

 

[Drayonis]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

its hard as hell to do man but you right, I hate the feeling of not being able to CONTROL the situations.

My littlest one is sick and will need surgery and its eating me up inside.

Its the feeling of powerlessness that's getting to me.

You see what brotherman said below? That's what I meant by just let go. Learn that whatever will be will be. I went through hell more than a few times (still going through it today) and I get up everyday and say, todays just another day. There will be good days and bad days but as long as I can survive it then I'm good.

It's all about Peaks and Valleys. How you handle them. Some days will be the best days of your life and some days will be your worse. You just have to take it in stride....

Roughly 5 years ago in the course of one month...

-I got wrongfully terminated from my job during the great rescission

-Had a huge falling out with my lady at the time

-Had to resort to living in my truck/on by man's couch off and on for 6 months.

-Baby on the way, with the same women who I bad a falling out with, whose threatening to sue me (she was a lawyer...I sure do pick em!) every other week.

-Emptied out my 401k to live and go to finish up my degree I was hours out on.

This went on every day for two fucking years.

I dealt with it the same way you'd eat an elephant...one bite at a time. Break the issue down into smaller component that you can handle that day, hell that hour. Small victories add up.


Two things I learned....


-When your going through hell KEEP GOING. It will eventually turn around.

-However bad you have it someone has it worse than you. There are people whose only wish is to not be facing death everyday.

One of my favorite videos I think about is this one when I'm trying to get through crazy shit. I always run this old school NWA video in my mind when I'm on the edge....



No matter what obstacle they ran into they ran past, around, under and over.....I live my life like that a lot.

 

[Naha-Nago]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Did you lose alot in penalties and taxes when you cashed in your 401k?

Yep.

* two cents *

 

[Naha-Nago]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

You see what brotherman said below? That's what I meant by just let go. Learn that whatever will be will be. I went through hell more than a few times (still going through it today) and I get up everyday and say, todays just another day. There will be good days and bad days but as long as I can survive it then I'm good.

It's all about Peaks and Valleys. How you handle them. Some days will be the best days of your life and some days will be your worse. You just have to take it in stride....



One of my favorite videos I think about is this one when I'm trying to get through crazy shit. I always run this old school NWA video in my mind when I'm on the edge....



No matter what obstacle they ran into they ran past, around, under and over.....I live my life like that a lot.

No doubt.

* two cents *

 

[playahaitian]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

You see what brotherman said below? That's what I meant by just let go. Learn that whatever will be will be. I went through hell more than a few times (still going through it today) and I get up everyday and say, todays just another day. There will be good days and bad days but as long as I can survive it then I'm good.

It's all about Peaks and Valleys. How you handle them. Some days will be the best days of your life and some days will be your worse. You just have to take it in stride....



One of my favorite videos I think about is this one when I'm trying to get through crazy shit. I always run this old school NWA video in my mind when I'm on the edge....



No matter what obstacle they ran into they ran past, around, under and over.....I live my life like that a lot.

Holeeeeee...

I just got a call.

the procedure that the insurance was refusing to cover, couple of Gs I didn't have.

Just got cleared.

Dray and the rest thanks fam for positive thoughts...

by the way if it isn't to much I also need ya'll to work on a cure for cancer, getting me a new promotion, curing world hunger some wining powerball numbers and bring back those fried MdD fruit pies.

seriously...

I just needed one damn glimmer of good news and I just got it.

To all my brothers going thru it right now...

keep your head up and keep moving forward....

 

[BullaCake]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

As weird and twisted as it sounds, you posted on BGOL as a way of Dealing with your stress and issues. It helps to have a sounding board sometimes; someone you can speak to and who u can trust and who will not judge you.

 

[Blackmayne]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

I feel u fam... Just this year stressing over being a new dad for the first time, buying my first home, and working long hours at the job sent my ass to the ER I thought I was having a heart attack homie ... Turns out it was just a panic attack shit woke me out my sleep and 3am in the morning heart racing at 150bpm and it wouldn't let up! Never knew stress could do that.... Smh ... I learned the hard way getting sleep is essential along with exercising taking your vitamins ( Google Magnesium deficiency many of us are...) , bottom line I was trying to be everything to everyone and I cut back on sleep to do it along with doing things that made me happy and my body said fuck you! I learned the hard way what stressing could do can't front I was totally ignorant things of this nature till it manifested itself in me!

Sent from my DROID RAZR HD using Tapatalk

 

[Mrfreddygoodbud]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

man its what life is all about,

we all go through that shit, aint no

amount of love, money or shiney shit

gonna help you escape the roller coaster of life...


its all a perspective... once you realize whatever

you survive will only make you stronger in the end...


most folks see it as life being unfair to them and only them...


which is bullshit...


because everybody gets it...


As far as your daughter you just be there for her

every step of the way... you are only powerless if you

allow yourself to feel that way.. she is depending on you


more than you think...



Is your daughter going through a heart procedure??

 

[quickflip]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

I try to laugh as much as I can and be around people who can make me laugh. It's a stress reliever and it makes you look at whatever it is thats bothering you differently.

 

[J.E.T.S]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

The thing about stress is, what you are stressing about another man will laugh about it....this year I got dumped by a woman I probably cared for way too much and got in a car accident and had to remove to of my wisdom tooths..seems like part of life but everything hit me at the same time. I prayed a lot Fam it helped believe me.

Sound like me 4 years ago. Damn. I still ain't got completely over that bitch though..

 

[SamSneed]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Man that shit gonna stop,

Good to see Yall made it

 

[Entrepronegro]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

If you in this world you fucked just like the rest of us. stress comes from living in this fucked up demonic world.

 

[sherminator]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Man I'm still in it, I graduated, waited damn near a year to get a job, of which was for peanuts, he let me go because of jelousy, and ego, I still live on moms couch, still looking for a job,in my field, I got a kid on the way and a fiancé, shits rough man, I catch myself with tears in my eyes frustrated because it's like the harder I try, the more no's I get, they say it gets better, I am waiting for my break through it's not like I got cloudy piss, a record, or something, I just don't know

 

[tallblacknyc]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

10 yrs ago to be exact.. june 2005 worst june ever.. 1 of my best friends died..i lost my job..bunch of equipment i used for my bizzness mysteriously died..had a fallen out with the top chick i use to get money with..bunch of other shit... losing my boy was like losing my brother never felt more fucked up over somebody death in my life..woke up crying everyday for 3 weeks straight..had a dream about him everyday for like 2 months straight..still to this day ever so often i have dreams about him..i kinda didn't give a fuck about a lot of people after that..when i lost my job i pretty much went off on my supervisor and pretty much told them they can see me face to face..i had a good amount of bread saved up so i sat on that for a few..than an unlikely opportunity came up which kinda open more for my bizz and shit got rite.. i guess u can say time can heal itself... by the way fuck june again 3 more people i kno passed away this month..in fact all in the past few days

 

[Machete]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

I've been more stressed at this point in my life than any other. Daughter just turned two. My stepson is starting high school in September. Stepdaughter has all sorts of mental issues, and her mother can't get tough with her. And, I can do little about it because technically, she ain't my daughter. Two women. Bouncing back and forth between them, jumping from one argument with one to an argument with another. Two hour commute daily. And, tens of thousands of dollars in debt, dealing with mistakes in my youth. Shit is crazy.

Job doesn't cover all the bills, if it wasn't for my side hustle, I would have drowned a long time ago. I'm going from check to check, and at the end of the day, I have little money for myself. Let alone enough to pay off my debts.

Just got to keep going. Here's what helps me:
1. Stress relief. Sex. Punching bag. Treadmill. Either one helps me to zone out. Afterwards, I feel better. I'm hitting the bag tonight, looking forward to it.

2. Discipline. The only way to survive. I'm working on tightening my budget, and not spending on frivolous shit.

3. Grind. Life isn't a movie. Some people get huge breaks, most of us get smaller breaks. Take advantage of it, remember that in order for anything to change, you have to work at it consistently.

4. Talking about it helps. Especially to elders, sometimes they have an immediate answer to what's bothering you cause they already agonized over it.

5. Stereotypes. Funny, but the fact that I've been taught that a man has to be strong, keeps me there when all else fails. When none of the above works, I suck it up, and go through steps one through four.

6. Strength. Understand that the American definition of strength is bullshit.

7. Failure. It's ok to fail. You WILL fail at one point in your life. It's ok to be broken up about it, even to cry about it. Even if you got to go off by yourself ( a dark bathroom with the shower running helps ) and take a few minutes to get yourself together. Tell people that you ate some bad Mexican food or something. It's ok to fail. It's NOT ok to quit.


Shit happens. We won't all be rich, we won't all have expensive clothes or cars. But, we CAN be better men. We can't control everything, but we can control ourselves.

 

[Eva Hornae]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

I've been more stressed at this point in my life than any other. Daughter just turned two. My stepson is starting high school in September. Stepdaughter has all sorts of mental issues, and her mother can't get tough with her. And, I can do little about it because technically, she ain't my daughter. Two women. Bouncing back and forth between them, jumping from one argument with one to an argument with another. Two hour commute daily. And, tens of thousands of dollars in debt, dealing with mistakes in my youth. Shit is crazy.

Job doesn't cover all the bills, if it wasn't for my side hustle, I would have drowned a long time ago. I'm going from check to check, and at the end of the day, I have little money for myself. Let alone enough to pay off my debts.

Just got to keep going. Here's what helps me:
1. Stress relief. Sex. Punching bag. Treadmill. Either one helps me to zone out. Afterwards, I feel better. I'm hitting the bag tonight, looking forward to it.

2. Discipline. The only way to survive. I'm working on tightening my budget, and not spending on frivolous shit.

3. Grind. Life isn't a movie. Some people get huge breaks, most of us get smaller breaks. Take advantage of it, remember that in order for anything to change, you have to work at it consistently.

4. Talking about it helps. Especially to elders, sometimes they have an immediate answer to what's bothering you cause they already agonized over it.

5. Stereotypes. Funny, but the fact that I've been taught that a man has to be strong, keeps me there when all else fails. When none of the above works, I suck it up, and go through steps one through four.

6. Strength. Understand that the American definition of strength is bullshit.

7. Failure. It's ok to fail. You WILL fail at one point in your life. It's ok to be broken up about it, even to cry about it. Even if you got to go off by yourself ( a dark bathroom with the shower running helps ) and take a few minutes to get yourself together. Tell people that you ate some bad Mexican food or something. It's ok to fail. It's NOT ok to quit.


Shit happens. We won't all be rich, we won't all have expensive clothes or cars. But, we CAN be better men. We can't control everything, but we can control ourselves.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

For those of you who're worth a damn. Go to the doctor. Hypertension is a killer. Stress in general. Is a killer. And definitely has adverse affects to your physical health as well as your mental health.

And if you can't show weakness to your wife then you got the wrong wife. How it was explained to me, your wife is your port in the storm.

 

[J.E.T.S]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

For those of you who're worth a damn. Go to the doctor. Hypertension is a killer. Stress in general. Is a killer. And definitely has adverse affects to your physical health as well as your mental health.

And if you can't show weakness to your wife then you got the wrong wife. How it was explained to me, your wife is your port in the storm.

He can show his family weakness if he wants.. it won't end well.

Keep pushing, be confident, and don't EVER let your pain show. You have to fight your own battles like a man, while maintaining a happy demeanor. Life works itself out bro bro.

 

[Mello Mello]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

I've just ran into a streak of bad luck within the last three weeks. Car crash, bank account took a hit and my rent just went up and I'm making less money than I did before. So far I'm on a short vacation but I return to all this problems I now it's gonna hit me. I'm just trying to plan my way out of it and hope all goes well.

 

[donwuan]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

I feel u fam... Just this year stressing over being a new dad for the first time, buying my first home, and working long hours at the job sent my ass to the ER I thought I was having a heart attack homie ... Turns out it was just a panic attack shit woke me out my sleep and 3am in the morning heart racing at 150bpm and it wouldn't let up! Never knew stress could do that.... Smh ... I learned the hard way getting sleep is essential along with exercising taking your vitamins ( Google Magnesium deficiency many of us are...) , bottom line I was trying to be everything to everyone and I cut back on sleep to do it along with doing things that made me happy and my body said fuck you! I learned the hard way what stressing could do can't front I was totally ignorant things of this nature till it manifested itself in me!

Sent from my DROID RAZR HD using Tapatalk

The same shit happened to me when my moms and oldest sister died within six months of each other. I felt like the dude in the movie Life that Eddie was reading the letter to. Those panic/anxiety attacks are no joke. I had them for 2 years. One woke me up outta my sleep and I jumped up and was standing on the side of the bed. Wifee looking at me like WTF.

 

[playahaitian]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

appreciate the positive words, happy we all just taking a minute to share.

to everyone hold your head keep pushing through...I'm in it right now along with you.

realizing now that many of us don't have an outlet to do this much.

 

[Mrfreddygoodbud]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

For those of you who're worth a damn. Go to the doctor. Hypertension is a killer. Stress in general. Is a killer. And definitely has adverse affects to your physical health as well as your mental health.

And if you can't show weakness to your wife then you got the wrong wife. How it was explained to me, your wife is your port in the storm.

ahhhh shiiiit wordy post time, you done got me started..


get knowledge knigga....

I respect your concern,

but true ignorance is trusting a THIRD party with

YOUR body..

the SAME BRAIN a doctor diagnoses you with..


is THE SAME brain you can diagnose yourself with...

How the fuck you eating stupid shit all day and surprise

at how your body reacts to the chemicals its introduced to...



Im just saying know yourself and know your mind and body...


anything else is slavery, be it


physical, mental or spiritual....


fuck you expect your body to respond if you feeding it white refined sugar.. thats the reason your beautiful black child cant sit still in class...

do you have any idea how deadly white refined sugar is...??


a gram of sugar is worse than a pound of marijuana..


a pound of marijuana cant dissolve your teeth..

leaving a tooth in a gram of white sugar can!!


so imagine what it does to your organs...

do you know how hard your teeth are B?!?!


imagine the damage it does to flesh..


think about it!!


this post is for those that are ready to evolve and

lead their family properly, not with a slave mentality..



I know yall hear me tho!!


and that glucose water is a fuckin no no...


soak some dates in filtered/spring water, and let your melanated child drink

that..

let him drink coconut or almond milk..




watch them soar!! mash your own baby food, its so fuckin

simple and easy..


Just steam some sweet potatoes, beets, broccoli .. for din din


mash some ripe strawberrys or bananas, apples or pears...

yourself.. and feed it to your child.



I have zero children.. and my gameplan is ready..

too many folks having children with no game plan...

not good son


we been so dumbed down its fuckin ppppppppppathetic.

dont be pathetic!!!

 

[Built4Life]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Man.... I can only tell you this that works for me. I have just accepted life on life's terms meaning shit happens. I enjoy life. It is my only life. I am an atheist so I don't worry about saying incantations (prayer) or an afterlife. No one is immune to the trials and tribulations of life, but when people come to accept their place in life then they are more likely to be at peace. The reality is that we really aren't in control. As a black man, we tend to have an inordinate amount of stress that leads to our early demise. Most likely a significant portion of us are either depressd or suffer from some form pstd. Find a social support network. Most men don't have an outlet where they can be free to express their emotions. You most likely won't find it from a woman because the only feelings we are truly allowed to express in romantic relationships have to do with our desire for the woman. We can't be disappointed, afraid, angry, unsure or turned off.

Sent from Nexus

 

[Mrfreddygoodbud]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

Yep.

* two cents *

trust me son,


I seen cats lose, a milly and a half... in that

401 k shit...


they went from damn near two milly...


to under 15 thousand..


the got fucked under those bush years....


Yep they voted for Obama... and was able to turn that 15 thou,


back up to a 3/4 milly....


not what they had before,

but they ballin again..

 

[EagleG]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

ahhhh shiiiit wordy post time, you done got me started..


get knowledge knigga....

I respect your concern,

but true ignorance is trusting a THIRD party with

YOUR body..

the SAME BRAIN a doctor diagnoses you with..


is THE SAME brain you can diagnose yourself with...

How the fuck you eating stupid shit all day and surprise

at how your body reacts to the chemicals its introduced to...



Im just saying know yourself and know your mind and body...


anything else is slavery, be it


physical, mental or spiritual....


fuck you expect your body to respond if you feeding it white refined sugar.. thats the reason your beautiful black child cant sit still in class...

do you have any idea how deadly white refined sugar is...??


a gram of sugar is worse than a pound of marijuana..


a pound of marijuana cant dissolve your teeth..

leaving a tooth in a gram of white sugar can!!


so imagine what it does to your organs...

do you know how hard your teeth are B?!?!


imagine the damage it does to flesh..


think about it!!


this post is for those that are ready to evolve and

lead their family properly, not with a slave mentality..



I know yall hear me tho!!


and that glucose water is a fuckin no no...


soak some dates in filtered/spring water, and let your melanated child drink

that..

let him drink coconut or almond milk..




watch them soar!! mash your own baby food, its so fuckin

simple and easy..


Just steam some sweet potatoes, beets, broccoli .. for din din


mash some ripe strawberrys or bananas, apples or pears...

yourself.. and feed it to your child.



I have zero children.. and my gameplan is ready..

too many folks having children with no game plan...

not good son


we been so dumbed down its fuckin ppppppppppathetic.

dont be pathetic!!!

 

[largebillsonlyplease]

Re: Black Men & Stress: Have you ever had a horrible run of BAD LUCK & How did u deal

we're built for this shit.


any other group of people men or women dealing with the things our men and women deal with...things that don't even cross other peoples minds...they'd fold under the pressure