This is from my Myspace blog where you can find....umm laughs i guess...any way
Contrary to most folks believe i actually do like a couple of R&B ballads, they aren’t all pussified-whinefests. There are some songs out there that just put me in a great mood. I know you’re probably saying "Got-damn...Mike’s gone off of the deep end, next thing you know he’ll be dressing in white linen and cuddling"......and my reply to that is a resounding "No bitch". Anyway here are some songs that will turn my frown upside or at least i think are beautiful sounding.
1. Al B. Sure "Night and Day" - Shit in 1987 i thought i was his chubby little brother, i wanted to be like dude so bad. i had the high top fade/S-curl combo, the denim nike suit the fake gold rope....you couldn’t tell me shit. i was goin’ up to 8th graders talkin’ about "If you and IIIIIIIIIIIII were onnnnnnnnne gurrrrrrrrrrrrrl".....i even had the "hip wind" down to a science. She knows she liked it....she had a pudgy 3rd grader singing to her.....that was the highlight of her career LOL.
2. Al . B Sure "Naturally Mine" (see a pattern here?) - Around about 5th grade i still thought i was Al. B. Sure mixed with Kool G. Rap....i used to sing this shit in shower and my momma heard me and i got teased to no end. i couldn’t do shit about it at all. i was puttin’ in my S-Curl singing’ the damn song and my cousin Country Blacc (what up nigga) and my momma heard me and to this day when i hear the song or see a box of S-Curl (WALGREEN’S GOD DAMN YOU!!!!!) i cringe.....What’s worse is that two weeks ago i was driving my car (known as "Payback" thank you very much) and the song came on and i started singing along with it not knowing some folks beside me are at a red light laughin their asses at me.
3. Usher - "You don’t have to call" - Most of you already know the story with this one, i always lked the beat and plus i was in the middle of a breakup and ya’ll know how i like to make fun of songs. I got shitfaced drunk and went to a karaoke bar and asked the DJ to put it on and i sang my own version that went like this....
"You can suck baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallsssss/ it’s okay biatch!!!!/ I’ma be with yo momma toniiiiiiight!!!"
the crowd was hysterical, one lady looked like she was laughing so hard she was having the big "O"....the club owner wasnt amused.....i was banned there forever.
4. Donny Hathaway "Hey Girl" - one of my cowokers saw that i had this on my Ipod and she just stopped short....she was a Hathaway fan and her perception of me was that i practiced black magic, drank beer all day and punched tree bark for exercise. This fucker looks at me and says "i knew it.....you just need a hug".....then she got mad when i tried to grab that ass in mid-hug.........yeah i fucked up. Either way i think Donny Hathaway is one f the greatest to ever do it....his songs could break down Sean Hannity and possibly even get him laid (i hear Spitzer’s whore needs work due to media coverage)....and plus at the end it sounds like ol’ Donny says "Niggaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" instead of "hey girrrrrrrrrrrrrl!!"
5. Patrice Rushen "Where there is love" - i found this just because it sampled two of my favorite songs in the world Mobb Deep’s "Temperature’s Rising" and Lil half Dead’s "12 pacofdoja", i heard the song in it’s entirety and WOW!!! i was instantly strung.....that song is some baby-makin’ shit.....one day I’ll stop being crude and so it to that instead of "Break a Bitch Neck" by Akinyele and Kool G Rap.
6. Minnie Ripperton "Inside my Love" - okay kids...anytime some old person bitches about today’s music being too "lewd" (and it is in most cases)....I mention this song. Any older woman over 35 will smile and have a wet-on moment because they know got-damn well they were in the back of Rufus’s Duece and a Quarter getting dicked down to this song. Minnie wasn’t no slouch God rest her soul.....she demanded what she wanted the lyrics that fucked me up to this day were
"See what’s inside me...will you come inside me?"
HOLY FUCK!!!!! i hope you got mornin’ after pills because that shit’ll get ya on Maury 3 years later.....
7. Sheena Easton’s "Sugarwalls" - Yep i remember it like yesterday, i was riding with my mom in the car wiping the Jheri Curl Juice from my brow and the song came on and i loved the beat (peace to Prince), I was quite an advanced 8 year old so i asked my dear mother
"Mommy what’s a sugarwalls....is that like candy?"
she looked like i just muttered the names of the people who killed Kennedy. I later asked my uncle about the song he replied
"Hell yeah that shit is like candy!!! Good candy!!! But ummmm you cant have that candy until you get grown"
in this song Sheena was in pure rare cockhound form.....she just got through working with Prince and obviously Prince splacked that Scottish ass, and she went from Kilts and Bagpipes to Darling Nikki and getting jammed by Prince’s Pipe.
8. Freddie Jackson’s "Love is just a touch away" - Man i used to love this shit, to this day when i hear it makes me wanna get some Colt 45 or Martini and Rossi (80’s ol school low budget playa style LOL) and some Church’s Chicken and ask a chick "What’s yo’ sign?"...........
9. R. Kelly’s "Sex Me" (part whatever the fuck)- Okay i know for a fact this song by itself got 4 girls pregnant my Freshman Year. When this came on and you were at a dance if you didn’t pull anything you might wanna grab a pair of scissors and consider a career as a eunuch. This song screams "BITCH I CAN’T PULL OUT THIS PUSSY’S TOO GOOD!!!!!!". ....see you at the Maury show.
10. Mint Condition "You send me swingin’" - Ahhhh sophomore year (yes fuckhead I’m old)....i just got a car (which i worked all summer to get working), a drivers license and hung with the wrong crowd and got introduced to ladies who showed me that my 10th grade penis was dual purpose. I was on the front step of this chick who shall remain nameless we were making out and this song was playing in the background. I’m just caught up in the moment.....my dick was harder than Physics at Yale....i really mean it...remember how on Tom and Jerry when Jerry would hit Tom’s paw with a hammer and how his shit was pulsating...well i had him beat that day. Whist doing all that she guides my hand down to homebase and of course me being the teenage dirtbag i was i started to fingersnuff her. I put my finger back up to my nose and i will never forget the smell.....it was a cross between Old Feta Cheese and the Exhuast pipe from an Corolla (one that used cheap gas by the way)......it’s because of this Mary Jane RottenCrotched ass broad and this song everytime i hear the hook to the song i cringe everytime i see a Corolla and i never ate Canolli’s (they have a shitload of feta in them) again .
Enjoy
Peace the fuck out.
Contrary to most folks believe i actually do like a couple of R&B ballads, they aren’t all pussified-whinefests. There are some songs out there that just put me in a great mood. I know you’re probably saying "Got-damn...Mike’s gone off of the deep end, next thing you know he’ll be dressing in white linen and cuddling"......and my reply to that is a resounding "No bitch". Anyway here are some songs that will turn my frown upside or at least i think are beautiful sounding.
1. Al B. Sure "Night and Day" - Shit in 1987 i thought i was his chubby little brother, i wanted to be like dude so bad. i had the high top fade/S-curl combo, the denim nike suit the fake gold rope....you couldn’t tell me shit. i was goin’ up to 8th graders talkin’ about "If you and IIIIIIIIIIIII were onnnnnnnnne gurrrrrrrrrrrrrl".....i even had the "hip wind" down to a science. She knows she liked it....she had a pudgy 3rd grader singing to her.....that was the highlight of her career LOL.
2. Al . B Sure "Naturally Mine" (see a pattern here?) - Around about 5th grade i still thought i was Al. B. Sure mixed with Kool G. Rap....i used to sing this shit in shower and my momma heard me and i got teased to no end. i couldn’t do shit about it at all. i was puttin’ in my S-Curl singing’ the damn song and my cousin Country Blacc (what up nigga) and my momma heard me and to this day when i hear the song or see a box of S-Curl (WALGREEN’S GOD DAMN YOU!!!!!) i cringe.....What’s worse is that two weeks ago i was driving my car (known as "Payback" thank you very much) and the song came on and i started singing along with it not knowing some folks beside me are at a red light laughin their asses at me.
3. Usher - "You don’t have to call" - Most of you already know the story with this one, i always lked the beat and plus i was in the middle of a breakup and ya’ll know how i like to make fun of songs. I got shitfaced drunk and went to a karaoke bar and asked the DJ to put it on and i sang my own version that went like this....
"You can suck baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallsssss/ it’s okay biatch!!!!/ I’ma be with yo momma toniiiiiiight!!!"
the crowd was hysterical, one lady looked like she was laughing so hard she was having the big "O"....the club owner wasnt amused.....i was banned there forever.
4. Donny Hathaway "Hey Girl" - one of my cowokers saw that i had this on my Ipod and she just stopped short....she was a Hathaway fan and her perception of me was that i practiced black magic, drank beer all day and punched tree bark for exercise. This fucker looks at me and says "i knew it.....you just need a hug".....then she got mad when i tried to grab that ass in mid-hug.........yeah i fucked up. Either way i think Donny Hathaway is one f the greatest to ever do it....his songs could break down Sean Hannity and possibly even get him laid (i hear Spitzer’s whore needs work due to media coverage)....and plus at the end it sounds like ol’ Donny says "Niggaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" instead of "hey girrrrrrrrrrrrrl!!"
5. Patrice Rushen "Where there is love" - i found this just because it sampled two of my favorite songs in the world Mobb Deep’s "Temperature’s Rising" and Lil half Dead’s "12 pacofdoja", i heard the song in it’s entirety and WOW!!! i was instantly strung.....that song is some baby-makin’ shit.....one day I’ll stop being crude and so it to that instead of "Break a Bitch Neck" by Akinyele and Kool G Rap.
6. Minnie Ripperton "Inside my Love" - okay kids...anytime some old person bitches about today’s music being too "lewd" (and it is in most cases)....I mention this song. Any older woman over 35 will smile and have a wet-on moment because they know got-damn well they were in the back of Rufus’s Duece and a Quarter getting dicked down to this song. Minnie wasn’t no slouch God rest her soul.....she demanded what she wanted the lyrics that fucked me up to this day were
"See what’s inside me...will you come inside me?"
HOLY FUCK!!!!! i hope you got mornin’ after pills because that shit’ll get ya on Maury 3 years later.....
7. Sheena Easton’s "Sugarwalls" - Yep i remember it like yesterday, i was riding with my mom in the car wiping the Jheri Curl Juice from my brow and the song came on and i loved the beat (peace to Prince), I was quite an advanced 8 year old so i asked my dear mother
"Mommy what’s a sugarwalls....is that like candy?"
she looked like i just muttered the names of the people who killed Kennedy. I later asked my uncle about the song he replied
"Hell yeah that shit is like candy!!! Good candy!!! But ummmm you cant have that candy until you get grown"
in this song Sheena was in pure rare cockhound form.....she just got through working with Prince and obviously Prince splacked that Scottish ass, and she went from Kilts and Bagpipes to Darling Nikki and getting jammed by Prince’s Pipe.
8. Freddie Jackson’s "Love is just a touch away" - Man i used to love this shit, to this day when i hear it makes me wanna get some Colt 45 or Martini and Rossi (80’s ol school low budget playa style LOL) and some Church’s Chicken and ask a chick "What’s yo’ sign?"...........
9. R. Kelly’s "Sex Me" (part whatever the fuck)- Okay i know for a fact this song by itself got 4 girls pregnant my Freshman Year. When this came on and you were at a dance if you didn’t pull anything you might wanna grab a pair of scissors and consider a career as a eunuch. This song screams "BITCH I CAN’T PULL OUT THIS PUSSY’S TOO GOOD!!!!!!". ....see you at the Maury show.
10. Mint Condition "You send me swingin’" - Ahhhh sophomore year (yes fuckhead I’m old)....i just got a car (which i worked all summer to get working), a drivers license and hung with the wrong crowd and got introduced to ladies who showed me that my 10th grade penis was dual purpose. I was on the front step of this chick who shall remain nameless we were making out and this song was playing in the background. I’m just caught up in the moment.....my dick was harder than Physics at Yale....i really mean it...remember how on Tom and Jerry when Jerry would hit Tom’s paw with a hammer and how his shit was pulsating...well i had him beat that day. Whist doing all that she guides my hand down to homebase and of course me being the teenage dirtbag i was i started to fingersnuff her. I put my finger back up to my nose and i will never forget the smell.....it was a cross between Old Feta Cheese and the Exhuast pipe from an Corolla (one that used cheap gas by the way)......it’s because of this Mary Jane RottenCrotched ass broad and this song everytime i hear the hook to the song i cringe everytime i see a Corolla and i never ate Canolli’s (they have a shitload of feta in them) again .
Enjoy
Peace the fuck out.
