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BGOL Black Male Mentorship Thread

How many of you have had mentors in the past and was it a positive experience?

  • I've never had a mentor

    Votes: 4 26.7%

  • I've have had a mentor and it was a positive experience. I still keep in touch

    Votes: 11 73.3%

  • I've had a mentor and it was a terrible waste of time

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    15
S

sakinnuso

Rising Star
Registered
After the Will and Jada thread, I've been thinking a lot about something that has bugged my friends and I for many years: The lack of black male mentors.

I can only speak for the entertainment industry, but as many of you know, it's a crabs-in-a-barrel mentality. In other areas like Business and possibly Tech, the idea of mentorship isn't as uncommon for black men. Still, it's not as accessible and readily available as I've seen in other communities. There are a number of reasons for this, and I won't try to speculate on all of the reasons why. Still, the idea of genuine altruistic help from an older generation needs to be re-seeded, I think. And in my own small way, I'd like to be a part of contributing.

I'm turning 42 this year, and I've reached a point in my life where although I haven't been nearly as successful as I would have liked, I've accumulated a bit of knowledge and life experience from both my profession and my personal journey, that I need to give something back.

Let me be very clear: I am not rich. I am not famous. I didn't 'make it', but there is wisdom in failure that can be passed on to help others avoid pitfalls.

I've worked in the gaming industry, the adult industry, the new podcasting industry, and the tv/film industry over the past 16 years. If I need to provide my resume, I'll do so. I'm available on this board or via email for anybody that needs to talk, needs advice, or would like to have an ear for a different perspective.

There are some fantastic brothers on this board who are equally - if not more so - successful in their career paths, and I hope that this encourages others to participate in this thread, and empowers those under us to ask questions, be open to advice, use their own minds in making decisions, and look at the breadth and wealth of options available to them from the unique perspectives of black men who have survived minefields. Although some of us might've come out wounded, we're still vets. Even a grunt that survived is a vet.

I have some podcasts and article links that I'd like some of you to read that I'll be happy to provide upon request. God Bless.
 
Wish I had one, the reason white kids do so well is they usually have some one in their life that has some professional type job that they can look up to, for example a lot of doctors are children of doctors.
 
I have had a host of mentors black and white, who simply showed up at the right time in my life and many of them, I have not spoken to since. There were some that hung with me for a few years and then passed me off to someone with more experience as I grew older . My youth pastor comes to mind as someone who stuck to me like glue between the ages of 13 & 15 and then recommend a person and after school youth program for further development.

My family (step-father had huge impact later in life), mostly hardworking successful and quiet, I think provided me the framework for my current temperament. I don't freak out when issues hit, I tackle things based on priority, and I help where I can. A few of my family members are well off, but not flashy and i remember growing up they constantly asked me for updates on how school was going, my interest in careers, business and college.

Once i hit about 22, 23 I realized i needed to listen more than speak, once i learned how to phrase questions that caused people to "spill some beans", it dawned on me that really anyone for 5min or 20 years can be a mentor for the situation at hand. For example, there was a time i applied for a job at the gaming company Bandi, I was turned down post 2nd interview, but one of the interviewers asked me via e-mail if i could meet with him for lunch. So we meet up for lunch and he talks about how I have a great future this and that, but then he whips out my resume and says "but right now this is holding you back" he gave me pointers on how to organize, extrapolate, highlight and fudge the finer points of the resume, then set me up with mock interviews to help. We kept in touch until I landed a job at Walt Disney's gaming division.

My step-father told me when I as 13 or 14, "Things I am telling you now, you will remember when the time is right". i thought he was crazy and we bumped heads a lot growing up, but he NEVER stopped talking to me, even when my body language showed i was not listening. I have thanked him time and time again for that because his words along with my other experiences have pulled me through some sticky stuff, and now i pass that on to my little one and the youth I see when I volunteer at the YMCA or other youth events.
 
fattmojo1 said:
My step-father told me when I as 13 or 14, "Things I am telling you now, you will remember when the time is right". i though he was crazy and we bumped heads a lot growing up, but he NEVER stopped talking to me, even when my body language showed i was not listening.
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My pops once told me, "The older you get, the more I'm gonna look like a genius to you."
 
His name was Russell Murphy (rip). He played football and basketball under "Big House" Gains in the 50s at Winston Salem State.

He told me "get those papers (degrees), mayne. They can never take that away from you."

When it can to breaking that generation cycle, my parents didn't know how to get me in college. I got denied from 6 schools my senior year in high school. Russ was like "I can get you into WSSU, mayne. I know plenty if people there. I can even help you get on the bball team."

My parents provided and done really well, but Coach Russ is the one that put me over the hump.

This is no diss to my parents. My pops taught me self respect and pride as a black man. I had a lot of mentors.
 
When I left my career to do my own thing I didnt know it but had a couple brothers who were successful who would talk to me. After reading, listening, consuming tons of leadership material I realized I needed those guys to grown.

Have 3 now. A Dr and two others are entrepreneurs. Best thing every cause I call them up take them to lunch and when I need a kick in my ass they are not scared or have any hidden motives when dealing with me.

I suggest all brothers have someone (Positive and in a better position then you) to build with.
 
When my older sisters got married my brother in-laws were my mentors during the time when my mom and dad separated. They both taught me how to cut hair, and put me up on game when I was just entering my teens. Any family issues that were going on I didn't know about they were the ones that filled me in. I learned a lot from both of them about life, how to TCB, social strategy, how to maneuver as a man and about manhood in my pops absence.

That's not to say my pop didn't teach me at all, before them my pops always taught me to think for myself, you can do bad by your damn self, there's always two sides to a story and taught me to always stand up for myself. He'd drop more jewels on me later on tho after his absence. I thank my brother in laws to this day it was good to have their perspective and wisdom outside of my immediate family it opened up my awareness.

I'm a mentor now to a few young dudes in DC. One just moved out and got his own place despite the mental challenges and disabilities he has.
 
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Never had a mentor. What I did have were wise old experienced grandparents, both sides, and esp my mom's dad, former sharecropper, who didn't fuck around when it came to his family. If you were wrong, he would lay it out and why. he always told me stuff that I didn't even understand until I got older. I still remember gems he dropped on me when I was too young to understand.

Every time I think about him, I think about Tupac's verse, "picture jewels being handed to an innocent child." he doesn't/wont know the value of them until he gets older.

Mentors help keep you from effing up too bad and making smart decisions when you are young.

that's one of the main reasons, I mentor. I got 5 (6 with the one that's grown) with 2 of them going off to college. I told them, as long as I am alive they got someone to talk to and get advice from and listen to what going on. The youngster that's getting ready to graduate this year is going be a fire breathing demon if I can get him to start thinking and responding before he reacts. he is young, passionate, with a big heart too. he got that fire and the mouth to go along with it. I been trying to focus that energy into a positive direction, namely law school, bc you know kids with that much mouth, they good for talking themselves in and outta shit.
 
Just wanted to comment based on what I've been reading that mentorship isn't reserved for the extremely young. As long as you are at a perspective higher than the person below you, you can be of immeasurable benefit to them. Our Grandparents and uncles may not have been rich, but their wisdom gleaned from hard times might have been enough to help us make tough choices.

I'm glad that so many brothers have shown such transparency here. The door is open to hit anybody up to talk candidly.

If enough people get involved, hopefully HNIC or one of the other mods can make this thread STICK.
 
Moving Target said:
Never had a mentor. What I did have were wise old experienced grandparents, both sides, and esp my mom's dad, former sharecropper, who didn't fuck around when it came to his family. If you were wrong, he would lay it out and why. he always told me stuff that I didn't even understand until I got older. I still remember gems he dropped on me when I was too young to understand.

Every time I think about him, I think about Tupac's verse, "picture jewels being handed to an innocent child." he doesn't/wont know the value of them until he gets older.

Mentors help keep you from effing up too bad and making smart decisions when you are young.

that's one of the main reasons, I mentor. I got 5 (6 with the one that's grown) with 2 of them going off to college. I told them, as long as I am alive they got someone to talk to and get advice from and listen to what going on. The youngster that's getting ready to graduate this year is going be a fire breathing demon if I can get him to start thinking and responding before he reacts. he is young, passionate, with a big heart too. he got that fire and the mouth to go along with it. I been trying to focus that energy into a positive direction, namely law school, bc you know kids with that much mouth, they good for talking themselves in and outta shit.
Click to expand...

Bro that former sharecropper was your mentor, at the time you did not realize it. My granddaddy was the first black man to own a business in town I was raised, he was a master plumber and i would spend summers working for him. He and my dad taught me everything i know about plumbing and life. Both RIP.
 

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