BDSM In Black or Black Kink...A Segue from "What if she's getting pregnant by another guy..."

[Shaka54]

What if she's getting pregnant by another guy, I mean who would pay childsupport...Open Marriage

@4 Dimensional made a couple of comments about someone who he knows personally that practices Sadism and how we tend to stereotype it as a White thing.
Guilty as charged right here.

Mind you; my homie has his Ph.D. in Human Science with a concentration on Human Eroticism and BDSM. He is a Sadist, so beating bitches asses is his specialization. He also practices the art of healing through BDSM as well.

Your boy is a white dude?

Lol. I'm glad you asked that because we've had discussions about how people stereotype his practices as being associated with white.

He is a black man and very proud, but he also understands that what he does is uncommon in the black community. Here is the kicker, the majority of the people he deals with are black. His submissives are Black women. The current lady he is with is black. He has mirrored himself after Baron Samedi because of his voodoo-like practices. The lady he is with is also deeply into the dark spiritual arts, but they are good people. Unique individuals, though. Interesting individual and a very intelligent Black man. Many, misunderstands him until they speak with him.

I can’t disagree there. He’s definitely in a world that unique. However, he is my mentor (he’s an elder gentleman). I learned a lot from him about human compassion and empathy. These were areas I lacked conscious awareness in. He also educated me in human mythology and how we lack the ability to true see past our own conscious, especially when emotional.

Now, when he is telling me about how he beat bitches asses and the various devices he use. That’s where my mind get blown. Even more so, the women request to be “tuned” up. He’s shown me videos where he has electrocuted bitches at their request. They are all black women too, which is even more mind blowing at times. They even pay for his services. He give lectures and demonstrations on whipping techniques.

Reading @4 Dimensional 's comments made me think back about some of the women that I've dated over the years and my first wife as well. Reading that this man has actually studied Human Eroticism and BDSM.

My first wife flat out told me several times that if I didn't physically discipline her, that I didn't love her. She felt and believed that shit to her core and I couldn't begin to comprehend the deep seated shit that was embedded in her psyche AT ALL!
"So when you call me 'Daddy,' you literally want me to spank (beat) your ass to force you into submission and to toe the line?"
Her: Yesss!
Me: I can't raise you to become a grown woman when you're ALREADY a grown woman...wtf?

In her past, she had been molested by a 2nd cousin as a preteen and raped twice as a young teen. I'd found this out over our dating since HS and seven years of marriage. Clearly she seemed healed and healthy on the outside but was a fucking mess on her mindset behind traumatic experiences.

Another woman, Michelle, and I had dated for almost 3 years. I wasn't divorced, but my wife and I had been separated for a number of years and I had custody of my children. I had taken my boys to school and on the way, I'd seen a woman on the side of the freeway entrance with her hood up in the rain. I figured I'd stop and see what I could do if she was still there on the way back home.

She was still there and I took a look under the hood and she needed to have it towed to a shop. I offered to take her to work, pick her up after, and arranged to have a shade tree mechanic come and meet us after she got off. I offered to take her to work for the rest of the week and that led to her making me dinner at her place.

That eventually turned into a relationship and after we agreed to exclusivity, she'd told me out the gate, "You got to contain me...I mean, you need to be THE MAN and take complete control of me. Don't let me get outta hand coz I'll give you the flux."
I laughed it off like, "Girl, quit playin'." I found out down the road that she was SERIOUS!

She would purposely and constantly do shit intended to test my limits and see what would make me go upside her head. The bitch involved her friends in schemes to try to see if I would cheat and all kinds of shit. It was insane.
She once wanted to experiment in Role Play to spice some things up one weekend. She wanted me to be a burglar who catches her in the house and rapes her. Could she REALLY have a rape fantasy!? Yes, she did.



At this time, we were living together in a new place. My kids were spending the summer in Jacksonville, FL with their grandparents.
Came nightfall, she'd had the den all laid out as if she was having movie night and fell asleep. I climbed in through the window and crept up on her.

She was lying on her stomach, pretending to be in a deep sleep and I mounted her back, covered her mouth, and started talking in her ear. I was making threats and talking shit like from the movies and THAT WOMAN FREAKED THE FUCK OUT! She turned into a quivering ball of mush, crying uncontrollably and the fear in her eyes scared the shit outta ME! I'm thinking I'M about to catch a case.

The shit never came up before that night, but it was something that she'd actually experienced before. I was stunned. WTF would make you want to reenact that shit?
I could only conclude, after our breakup that she was trying to rid herself of a lot of demons that she was holding close to the vest.
It explained sooo much of the shit that she was putting ME through and how she wanted me to handle her.

I've dated a couple of other women who had some of these traits but not to the extremes of these two examples. After reading the comments above, I now wonder if they would've been perfect fits into the BDSM scene.

 

[Shaka54]

I don't know if I could get into much more than spanking or paddling but I'd be willing to try this shit here:

Not my kinda Porn

 

[zuluking]

good observation , so do you think you can handle them or avoid them once you identify them

 

[Shaka54]

good observation , so do you think you can handle them or avoid them once you identify them

It's a matter of IF I'd want to deal with them. It's akin to them handing you control of maintaining their Mental Health issues and to provide a level of counseling that I, as a novice, am not trained nor equipped to provide for them.

Some of their issues would be draining energy on a daily basis until it affects YOU. It would take some serious effort depending on how deeply they're issues are rooted.

 

[Empire]

 

[papi68]

Dealt with this many times. I believe in giving women what they want.

 

[Shaka54]

Dealt with this many times. I believe in giving women what they want.

Is it with women who you were dealing with long term or just casually fucking with for a hook up?

 

[carsun1000]

watching too much creates ideas.....Not all ideas are sexual stimulants IMO

 

[gw1933]

Although this is not my cup of tea, it is interesting to learn about the sexual psychology behind this subculture.

I knew a chick who was raped in her younger years that later became a dominatrix.

I always wondered if she liked to dominate, because it overcompensated for the lack of control she had when she was raped.

 

[Shaka54]

Those first two...the sista in the shower captures my imagination. The restraints I could do with a honey and I've done the candle wax thing with chicks, but I consider that mildly freaky.
Whoopin a wench with that leather paddle...I couldn't even contemplate deriving any sort of pleasure out of THAT and I am perplexed as to how SHE could.

 

[Shaka54]

Although this is not my cup of tea, it is interesting to learn about the sexual psychology behind this subculture.

I knew a chick who was raped in her younger years that later became a dominatrix.

I always wondered if she liked to dominate, because it overcompensated for the lack of control she had when she was raped.

I've always wondered the same Bruh. And I wonder how the men came to find pleasure in being dominated and humiliated like that.

 

[gw1933]

I've always wondered the same Bruh. And I wonder how the men came to find pleasure in being dominated and humiliated like that.

I think everybody at their core is a dom or a sub.

And although we all use different sexual activities to reach our core, the need to be in that position never changes.

Some male doms get off on BDSM, some get off on fucking chicks in the ass, etc.

...on the flip, some male subs get off by getting flogged, or even tied up, etc.

Sexual psychology is some deep shit

 

[Shaka54]

I think everybody at their core is a dom or a sub.

And although we all use different sexual activities to reach our core, the need to be in that position never changes.

Some male doms get off on BDSM, some get off on fucking chicks in the ass, etc.

...on the flip, some male subs get off by getting flogged, or even tied up, etc.

Sexual psychology is some deep shit

Wow...I hadn't even considered that one. I think because I ain't into trying to wreck a woman's asshole, I'm trying to get a nut.

 

[papi68]

Is it with women who you were dealing with long term or just casually fucking with for a hook up?

All of the above. What's the point in having sex with someone if you're both not there to please?

 

[ugk]

Those first two...the sista in the shower captures my imagination. The restraints I could do with a honey and I've done the candle wax thing with chicks, but I consider that mildly freaky.
Whoopin a wench with that leather paddle...I couldn't even contemplate deriving any sort of pleasure out of THAT and I am perplexed as to how SHE could.

First one looks like Sinnamon Love, she used to post on the boards here until the idiots ran her off. She's a cool chick that I know was pretty deep in the BDSM game. You can go on Fetlife and find a ton of woman who like every from just spanking to Total Power Exchanges, where they sign off their rights as a human being and want to serve their Masters as some sort of object. Really deep stuff.

 

[Shaka54]

All of the above. What's the point in having sex with someone if you're both not there to please?

Good point. My thing is, if I'm in a relationship with a chick how far do I want to carry some heavy emotional baggage that surfaced along the way.

 

[Shaka54]

First one looks like Sinnamon Love, she used to post on the boards here until the idiots ran her off. She's a cool chick that I know was pretty deep in the BDSM game. You can go on Fetlife and find a ton of woman who like every from just spanking to Total Power Exchanges, where they sign off their rights as a human being and want to serve their Masters as some sort of object. Really deep stuff.

I've seen Sin bound and gagged and shit before (and them damned fart fetish vids ). The rest of that...

 

[knightmelodic]

I've initiated quite a few women into it. I can't recall having one who was already into it.

 

[Pimpslap Slim]

 

[Rythm]

 

[4 Dimensional]

What if she's getting pregnant by another guy, I mean who would pay childsupport...Open Marriage

@4 Dimensional made a couple of comments about someone who he knows personally that practices Sadism and how we tend to stereotype it as a White thing.
Guilty as charged right here.















Reading @4 Dimensional 's comments made me think back about some of the women that I've dated over the years and my first wife as well. Reading that this man has actually studied Human Eroticism and BDSM.

My first wife flat out told me several times that if I didn't physically discipline her, that I didn't love her. She felt and believed that shit to her core and I couldn't begin to comprehend the deep seated shit that was embedded in her psyche AT ALL!
"So when you call me 'Daddy,' you literally want me to spank (beat) your ass to force you into submission and to toe the line?"
Her: Yesss!
Me: I can't raise you to become a grown woman when you're ALREADY a grown woman...wtf?

In her past, she had been molested by a 2nd cousin as a preteen and raped twice as a young teen. I'd found this out over our dating since HS and seven years of marriage. Clearly she seemed healed and healthy on the outside but was a fucking mess on her mindset behind traumatic experiences.

Another woman, Michelle, and I had dated for almost 3 years. I wasn't divorced, but my wife and I had been separated for a number of years and I had custody of my children. I had taken my boys to school and on the way, I'd seen a woman on the side of the freeway entrance with her hood up in the rain. I figured I'd stop and see what I could do if she was still there on the way back home.

She was still there and I took a look under the hood and she needed to have it towed to a shop. I offered to take her to work, pick her up after, and arranged to have a shade tree mechanic come and meet us after she got off. I offered to take her to work for the rest of the week and that led to her making me dinner at her place.

That eventually turned into a relationship and after we agreed to exclusivity, she'd told me out the gate, "You got to contain me...I mean, you need to be THE MAN and take complete control of me. Don't let me get outta hand coz I'll give you the flux."
I laughed it off like, "Girl, quit playin'." I found out down the road that she was SERIOUS!

She would purposely and constantly do shit intended to test my limits and see what would make me go upside her head. The bitch involved her friends in schemes to try to see if I would cheat and all kinds of shit. It was insane.
She once wanted to experiment in Role Play to spice some things up one weekend. She wanted me to be a burglar who catches her in the house and rapes her. Could she REALLY have a rape fantasy!? Yes, she did.



At this time, we were living together in a new place. My kids were spending the summer in Jacksonville, FL with their grandparents.
Came nightfall, she'd had the den all laid out as if she was having movie night and fell asleep. I climbed in through the window and crept up on her.

She was lying on her stomach, pretending to be in a deep sleep and I mounted her back, covered her mouth, and started talking in her ear. I was making threats and talking shit like from the movies and THAT WOMAN FREAKED THE FUCK OUT! She turned into a quivering ball of mush, crying uncontrollably and the fear in her eyes scared the shit outta ME! I'm thinking I'M about to catch a case.

The shit never came up before that night, but it was something that she'd actually experienced before. I was stunned. WTF would make you want to reenact that shit?
I could only conclude, after our breakup that she was trying to rid herself of a lot of demons that she was holding close to the vest.
It explained sooo much of the shit that she was putting ME through and how she wanted me to handle her.

I've dated a couple of other women who had some of these traits but not to the extremes of these two examples. After reading the comments above, I now wonder if they would've been perfect fits into the BDSM scene.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

Past trauma is the driving force for a lot of women in that community because it’s controlled punishment. Unbeknownst to you, these women you were dating was trying to get you to heal them. I can say most men are not equipped to meddle in such extremities. My wife and I have had these types of discussions about the practice, and I told her, “you don’t know what type of doors you open when experimenting with this type of shit.” Of course, there are levels, and some women want to be spanked. However, an experience Sadist like my homie can take shit to a whole new level.

The kicker is the number of interest women show when they find out that he is into that. It prompted us to evaluate whether or not African Americans have repressed sexual desires that we will not mess with. When some black folk thinks of BDSM, they think of slavery, which there is a connection. Yet, you notice that some women are drawn to such punishment.

So what is it about physical pain that is connected with emotions? Maybe they are similar, and we have separated the too.

And BDSM doesn’t necessarily include whipping. It also provides role-playing (as you mentioned). So women want to be treated like little girls or animals. Some women want to be tied up and exposed. Some women want to be told what to do all the time.

However, there is also the mirror of the person that is the sadist. My homie knows that he has cross boundaries, which he can not come back from. He said that he'd never be able to fuck another woman if he can’t smack them up first, which makes sense to me. Lol.

 

[4 Dimensional]

I think everybody at their core is a dom or a sub.

And although we all use different sexual activities to reach our core, the need to be in that position never changes.

Some male doms get off on BDSM, some get off on fucking chicks in the ass, etc.

...on the flip, some male subs get off by getting flogged, or even tied up, etc.

Sexual psychology is some deep shit

And psychology is why he studied it. But to review it, you have to study humans and their behaviors.

Several factors affect humans when it comes to their understanding of the world. Sex is one of the biggest, but how we treat everyone can better understand it. The human soul doesn’t exist without some emotion. Your body, language, and emotion work together as a system. So someone that was abused physically (body, mind) will affect their emotions and their language (how they communicate) — adding erotic energy to the human soul (body, language, emotion) can cause specific effects to trigger past experiences. They'll either be subduced or transcended with both forcing new life, destroying the old self, and creating new ways of being in the world. Sex greatly affects the relationships you have with people as well.

So yeah, all that shit can be seen in the BDSM world, but there is no reason for most people to think about this type of shit that deeply. Lol.

 

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