All you Deadbeat Dads Explain

[WorldEX]

I am just wondering, when you have a child, do you think of them? Do you dream of them? Do you wish to see them?

I am not a deadbeat dad, but love my daughter so much that I can not live a day without see her. Just wondering how a man can sleep and not think of his own??? How can you?


Let me inside your mind if you are. What are the real reasons for you not see your kids?

If my ex gives me hell, I still show up, regardless, my daughter have eyes to see that I am there, she will judge me herself...rain, snow, I go to see her.

 

[Temujin]

Very interesting topic. I am interested myself. I've always wondered what would make a man ignore the extension of his self. I have a son who I look at as my future and the future of my family. I can't see not supporting him to the best of my ability.

 

[NewyorkRealTalk]

I met dudes who did it cause they were mad at the momz, not thinking about how its affecting the child. On some petty shit. He also told me that he didnt want the kid from the start. So he just wanted to pay child support and be gone. I got my kid with me.
I aint ever leaving her. Especially with niggas like Mike spallino or whatever his name is. The dude with the pedophile thread.

 

[gameboy]

becuase but most dudes wanted a nut,,, not a child,,,, i know, i know,,, use a rubber and all that,,, but lets be real,,, it happens.

 

[EATUGOOD1]

becuase but most dudes wanted a nut,,, not a child,,,, i know, i know,,, use a rubber and all that,,, but lets be real,,, it happens.

ur right. if it was some bustdown bitch i didnt give a fuck about then i wouldnt think about her or the "mistake"

 

[WorldEX]

It's the thinking I am wondering what goes on inside their hearts? Assume they are driving, or walking alone; saw a little child...does it that brain kick in and say..."oh my I wonder how my child is doing"...any deadbeat dad's or mom's here? Do not be afraid to educate me your reasons?

 

[Fuckallyall]

First of all, many deadbeat dads are so because of arrears, not current payments. And many of those arrears are not true arrears. Example:

I have a babymomma. I started out by giving her $100/cash/week and paying for daycare. A couple of years later, and we got beef. She now goes to court for support and finds out that she could have received 200/week along with the daycare. She now says I didn't give her SHIT! and just payed for daycare. So now I not only have to pay 200/week plus daycare I now immediately owe 25G's plus interest (200/week x's 128 weeks [2 years]).
All of a sudden, I'm a deadbeat dad. Pay gets garnished, credit's ruined, can't get any professional certifications, in some states, I can't get liscences renewed.

Or, cat's who don't have jobs to begin with get hit with support orders.

Don't get me wrong. There are straight up grimey mofos out there, but not as many as you think. The child support system is a vestige of the time when women did not have the economic or political power they have today, and many of the enhancements to the system are IMO, anti-father.

 

[thetruth]

I don't understand the shit myself. I am referring to the men that are with these women for an extended period of time, years; so it is beyond just a nut. I have a little one on the way and could not be more excited. My pops was not there and I don't understand that shit at all. My Pops got with another woman that had kids already living with her. So he left married her and takes care of them . He doesn't even like the kids, and i think he doesn't even like being married. Aside from all that he just a confused individual that feels like he has no responsibility in the world.

 

[WorldEX]

becuase but most dudes wanted a nut,,, not a child,,,, i know, i know,,, use a rubber and all that,,, but lets be real,,, it happens.

It takes two to make a kid, forget about her, once it yours by blood it's yours...I'm sure shaquille o'neil think so that too.

 

[Zero]

I've known cats who were in a situation where the mother and her family acted SO shitty every time they did visit their child that they just gave up and started to view the child as a debt and not a person. Shit happens all the time. Not all "deadbeat dads" are deadbeats and not all of them are avoiding their kids by choice. I knew one cat that consistantly drove 5 hours each way to see his kid and the bitch baby momma and her family would only let him see the kid for 15 minutes a pop and THEN only supervised by the chick's father who acted an ass the whole time doing shit like not letting him hold his kid and talking all kinds of crazy shit the whole time. He did that shit for a year, the courts weren't getting him anywhere and, finally, he gave up. He feels his only recourse to be able to have a relationship with this kid is to sue for sole custody, but the courts have seen to it that THAt won't happen and as long as supervised custody is in place, the crazy bitch and hjer family are going to do everything in their power to ruin any relationship he may have with his kid. I talked to him about it and his attitude is, she's going to have to explain what the fuck happened, not him and she'll most likely lie (because she's that kind of person), so he's not going to worry about what he can't control. A LOT of women who don't have the fathers of their children in their lives lie to their kids about why, it's that little secret nobody wants to hear. Some women just make it impossible and are MORE than willing to hurt their own child to hurt the childs' father and a lot of fathers in those situations feel it's better to just stay away and possibly save their kid some long-term grief in relation to their crazy bitch of a mother. I know females that have literally BEATEN their kids because they show loyalty to their own father.


I don't say this to defend "deadbeat dads", I say this to shed some light on the fact that it's not all about dad in all these situations.

Also, MANY so-called deadbeat dads pay MORE than they are required by the court in the care of their child and are still labelled deadbeats because their lying baby-mother under reports the father's contribution. He may be buying food, clothes, various classes, toys, spending time with the kid, but when the court date comes, the mother walks in with a couple of cancelled checks and says he did nothing because he bought his kid school clothes intead of writing her a check she could spend half of on herself. I even know cats that give their exes access to their bank accounts (atm cards) and the baby mom wipes them out monthly, yet will go into court in a second and say he's done nothing.

That pendulum swings both ways.

I got three kids, WITH MY WIFE and I'm glad of it because having a kid by the wrong bitch is nothing but a lifetime of bullshit. Seems like even the so-called most honest of women will lie in the face of a family court judge.

 

[Spectrum]

First of all, many deadbeat dads are so because of arrears, not current payments. And many of those arrears are not true arrears. Example:

I have a babymomma. I started out by giving her $100/cash/week and paying for daycare. A couple of years later, and we got beef. She now goes to court for support and finds out that she could have received 200/week along with the daycare. She now says I didn't give her SHIT! and just payed for daycare. So now I not only have to pay 200/week plus daycare I now immediately owe 25G's plus interest (200/week x's 128 weeks [2 years]).
All of a sudden, I'm a deadbeat dad. Pay gets garnished, credit's ruined, can't get any professional certifications, in some states, I can't get liscences renewed.

Or, cat's who don't have jobs to begin with get hit with support orders.

Don't get me wrong. There are straight up grimey mofos out there, but not as many as you think. The child support system is a vestige of the time when women did not have the economic or political power they have today, and many of the enhancements to the system are IMO, anti-father.

Damn man.thats fucked up...

 

[gameboy]

It takes two to make a kid, forget about her, once it yours by blood it's yours...

it's a males natural role to "insemenate" the woman,,, and "provide" for his seed (exactly the role child support plays). women are the natural "nurturers" to the seed.

notice in the animal kindgdom,,, most males don't even stick around after the conception. therefore,,, if a man didn't purposely plan on having a child,,, he doesn't naturally feel the need to nurture his seed.

 

[GeeZnu]

it all goes down to not fucking a bitch raw that u dont want kids by. do like i do go to hospitals get free condoms they even have free condom websites that will ship them shits to you. and u keep them mo fos in your car , your locker , your wallet and your socks trust me you will be better off.

 

[GeeZnu]

it's a males natural role to "insemenate" the woman,,, and "provide" for his seed (exactly the role child support plays). women are the natural "nurturers" to the seed.

notice in the animal kindgdom,,, most males don't even stick around after the conception. therefore,,, if a man didn't purposely plan on having a child,,, he doesn't naturally feel the need to nurture his seed.

so r u saying its ok for a dude to walk out on his kids ???

 

[WorldEX]

it's a males natural role to "insemenate" the woman,,, and "provide" for his seed (exactly the role child support plays). women are the natural "nurturers" to the seed.

notice in the animal kindgdom,,, most males don't even stick around after the conception. therefore,,, if a man didn't purposely plan on having a child,,, he doesn't naturally feel the need to nurture his seed.

If you looking at animal kindgdom shows to justify your answer, then you are looking at the wrong species..we are talking here about human beings..not a pack of rats or lions.

 

[Break_Bread]

so r u saying its ok for a dude to walk out on his kids ???

Dude gave a reason why it happens sometimes. He didn't condone it

 

[TREY-GA]

First of all, many deadbeat dads are so because of arrears, not current payments. And many of those arrears are not true arrears. Example:

I have a babymomma. I started out by giving her $100/cash/week and paying for daycare. A couple of years later, and we got beef. She now goes to court for support and finds out that she could have received 200/week along with the daycare. She now says I didn't give her SHIT! and just payed for daycare. So now I not only have to pay 200/week plus daycare I now immediately owe 25G's plus interest (200/week x's 128 weeks [2 years]).
All of a sudden, I'm a deadbeat dad. Pay gets garnished, credit's ruined, can't get any professional certifications, in some states, I can't get liscences renewed.

Or, cat's who don't have jobs to begin with get hit with support orders.

Don't get me wrong. There are straight up grimey mofos out there, but not as many as you think. The child support system is a vestige of the time when women did not have the economic or political power they have today, and many of the enhancements to the system are IMO, anti-father.

I don't know the facts of your particular situation but just in general,
....explain to me how a woman raising a child(or multiple children) alone is in better shape than you are as a single man and all you have to pay is child support..who feeds, clothes and takes care of that child 24/7, daycare, sickness, homework.etc.????...who comforts YOUR child when your child fears the bully at school, the violence in the street,the storms at night,etc...the cost of raising a child PROPERLY is far more $200/week...being a good father is something you decide TO DO or NOT DO..its not even about the money, A GOOD father spends time with his children, because he cares and loves them..bottom line is no CHILD ever asked to be here and if you call your self a real man you will take care of YOUR responsibility, and not leave it to YOUR girl, or the STATE(us, the taxpayer)...I know many cats complaining about paying child support, yet they have money to hang out 3-4 nites a week, in the club, tossing bills to strippers and wasting money all over town, but don't have time for their own children, theirr own blood...its sad....makes you wonder how our children make it anywhere in the world today when they aren't loved in their own home....WE NEED TO FIX THIS, TIME FOR BROTHAS TO BE STRAIGHT WITH EACH OTHER

 

[WorldEX]

I know the system is fucked. I remember reading a story on CNN, about this man who had 3 kids with this woman. She cheat on him with another man, they got divorced. she got the kids and the house, when they do DNA on the kids, the kids are not his, but the man who she cheated on with..now she is married to the kids real dad, living in his house. The judge want him to pay child support cause the children knows him as daddy. Now that is a bitch!

 

[WorldEX]

I don't know the facts of your particular situation but just in general,
....explain to me how a woman raising a child(or multiple children) alone is in better shape than you are as a single man and all you have to pay is child support..who feeds, clothes and takes care of that child 24/7, daycare, sickness, homework.etc.????...who comforts YOUR child when your child fears the bully at school, the violence in the street,the storms at night,etc...the cost of raising a child PROPERLY is far more $200/week...being a good father is something you decide TO DO or NOT DO..its not even about the money, A GOOD father spends time with his children, because he cares and loves them..bottom line is no CHILD ever asked to be here and if you call your self a real man you will take care of YOUR responsibility, and not leave it to YOUR girl, or the STATE(us, the taxpayer)...I know many cats complaining about paying child support, yet they have money to hang out 3-4 nites a week, in the club, tossing bills to strippers and wasting money all over town, but don't have time for their own children, theirr own blood...its sad....makes you wonder how our children make it anywhere in the world today when they aren't loved in their own home....WE NEED TO FIX THIS, TIME FOR BROTHAS TO BE STRAIGHT WITH EACH OTHER

Co/Sign

 

[Thedod]

The court system causes Fathers to be away from their children. This is my opinion but here is my position. When a woman gets pregnant, she does so with the help of a male donor. But once she is pregnant the man has NO OTHER OPTIONS, he cant make her have an abortion, place the child for adoption or even choose to have his family raise the child. Once you as a man are attached to the child you have 18-21 years of payments.

Initially all men want to deal with a child with their blood running inside them but if you are constantly going through drama with the mom you just end up staying away so that you dont do stupid things or catch a case.

Not all women create drama, some women are more than understanding and dont even take it to the court system, they just say" I got this and if you wanna do for your child then do it" at that point if you are the father and you still choose not to be involved then yeah your a deadbeat.

Men should have more say in a pregnancy if he and the woman cant agree on whether to have the child or not then if she chooses to keep it she should not be able to ask for support.

I do believe that all fathers whether they are around their children or not, think about their children.

 

[memphis10]

It always comes back to haunt you later in life, just ask my father. It really haunts you if the child becomes famous or a big success.

 

[bigcrazymike]

Men should have more say in a pregnancy if he and the woman cant agree on whether to have the child or not then if she chooses to keep it she should not be able to ask for support.

That's just dumb. There would be even more single mothers out there, and a lot more kids going to school wearing clothes from the Goodwill.

How about men just ask a woman what she will do if she gets pregnant before yall start fuckin.

 

[tampabay904]

ur right. if it was some bustdown bitch i didnt give a fuck about then i wouldnt think about her or the "mistake"

spoken like a true old ass nigga. i remember being a little boy and hearing old men say: "let the welfare feed em"

damn.

 

[EATUGOOD1]

spoken like a true old ass nigga. i remember being a little boy and hearing old men say: "let the welfare feed em"

damn.

 

[capitalq]

spoken like a true nigga.

fixed.

 

[456.North.side]

First of all, many deadbeat dads are so because of arrears, not current payments. And many of those arrears are not true arrears. Example:

I have a babymomma. I started out by giving her $100/cash/week and paying for daycare. A couple of years later, and we got beef. She now goes to court for support and finds out that she could have received 200/week along with the daycare. She now says I didn't give her SHIT! and just payed for daycare. So now I not only have to pay 200/week plus daycare I now immediately owe 25G's plus interest (200/week x's 128 weeks [2 years]).
All of a sudden, I'm a deadbeat dad. Pay gets garnished, credit's ruined, can't get any professional certifications, in some states, I can't get liscences renewed.

Or, cat's who don't have jobs to begin with get hit with support orders.

Don't get me wrong. There are straight up grimey mofos out there, but not as many as you think. The child support system is a vestige of the time when women did not have the economic or political power they have today, and many of the enhancements to the system are IMO, anti-father.

My deal is that with my son I had him 2x when he was real young liek 6 weeks and was ready to be there but then momz smacked me one day put me in jail and rode the case out on me. So what can I do go back and wait for her to try it again its a fukked up deal I pay the support though and its so anti-father in oklahoma that I cant even get a call back from dhs when they made a mistake on the account. they say "we will leave a msg" so now I'm running it a different way to get things right, lawyers re pointless there is nothing they can do in OK you cant do yourself.
I even talk to one when they locked me up saying I hadnt paid (when I had paid 55% of my income for 3 years straight) I told him I wanted a lawyer just to make sure I didnt have the same thing happen again and his reply was I just got one of my clients out that had the same problem and I was like <<<DING!>>> if hes your client why did you let him get locked up. LOL I try to laugh cause otherwise you would cry all day and we got pikestreet for that shiiit. But to answer your questions Real dude, dream about them, they look into thier other kids eyes and wonder what its like to look into that missing kids eyes, we dream about them, pray for them and secretly plot to kill the biitch keeping us from them, well unless the bitch is the dude.

but keeping it real they are out to get all the money from the few that are paying to replace the $$$ dead beats aren't. I was in a position to pay them straight out and found out that under 20% of the interest AND principal get to the kids if the mother has gotten any support. I was like so if I pay this 10g the kids wont even get 2k WTF.

 

[WorldEX]

My deal is that with my son I had him 2x when he was real young liek 6 weeks and was ready to be there but then momz smacked me one day put me in jail and rode the case out on me. So what can I do go back and wait for her to try it again its a fukked up deal I pay the support though and its so anti-father in oklahoma that I cant even get a call back from dhs when they made a mistake on the account. they say "we will leave a msg" so now I'm running it a different way to get things right, lawyers re pointless there is nothing they can do in OK you cant do yourself.
I even talk to one when they locked me up saying I hadnt paid (when I had paid 55% of my income for 3 years straight) I told him I wanted a lawyer just to make sure I didnt have the same thing happen again and his reply was I just got one of my clients out that had the same problem and I was like <<<DING!>>> if hes your client why did you let him get locked up. LOL I try to laugh cause otherwise you would cry all day and we got pikestreet for that shiiit. But to answer your questions Real dude, dream about them, they look into thier other kids eyes and wonder what its like to look into that missing kids eyes, we dream about them, pray for them and secretly plot to kill the biitch keeping us from them, well unless the bitch is the dude.

but keeping it real they are out to get all the money from the few that are paying to replace the $$$ dead beats aren't. I was in a position to pay them straight out and found out that under 20% of the interest AND principal get to the kids if the mother has gotten any support. I was like so if I pay this 10g the kids wont even get 2k WTF.

Man I hear ya loud and clear, many of us try to be good dads, and still end up getting the shit end of the stick so to speak. But lots of us men are not truely willing to fight harder for our kids, I think it's because we do not like to fight. Women like that angry shit...I'm calm..my ex could be bitching, I tune her out, in one ear out the next. I am there for my blood period.

 

[dawg9]

This topic sure as hell hit a nerve on me. I have a daughter after 5 years of marriage and divorce. I love my daughter to no end. It hurts to even look at a picture of her and realize that I can't be the dad I always wanted to be to her because I'm not there 24/7. I'm getting hit hard with support payments. It's constant psychological warfare when you hate the baby momma but you realize your daughter doesn't give a shit about that, she just wants to see her daddy. The child support system will make your ass feel like less of man. You can't even randomly buy shit for your kid anymore because your pockets are being sucked tight. They take their shit right off the top. You don't even have the right to work that shit into your budget. One day you make X amount of dollars per week. You go to court and walk out make $250 less per week and that shit comes right out of your check. If you have to move to the hood and buy a yugo to get around in so be it. That shit is not cool. The court fucks cats over who actually want to play an integral role in their kids life. I could keep rambling about this shit but I won't.

 

[femmenoire]

Because generally if men don't love the woman they have a child with, then they don't love the child.

Women on the other hand, can be raped by a stranger, get pregnant and still love the child nonetheless.

 

[elchoccolatte]

I've known cats who were in a situation where the mother and her family acted SO shitty every time they did visit their child that they just gave up and started to view the child as a debt and not a person. Shit happens all the time. Not all "deadbeat dads" are deadbeats and not all of them are avoiding their kids by choice. I knew one cat that consistantly drove 5 hours each way to see his kid and the bitch baby momma and her family would only let him see the kid for 15 minutes a pop and THEN only supervised by the chick's father who acted an ass the whole time doing shit like not letting him hold his kid and talking all kinds of crazy shit the whole time. He did that shit for a year, the courts weren't getting him anywhere and, finally, he gave up. He feels his only recourse to be able to have a relationship with this kid is to sue for sole custody, but the courts have seen to it that THAt won't happen and as long as supervised custody is in place, the crazy bitch and hjer family are going to do everything in their power to ruin any relationship he may have with his kid. I talked to him about it and his attitude is, she's going to have to explain what the fuck happened, not him and she'll most likely lie (because she's that kind of person), so he's not going to worry about what he can't control. A LOT of women who don't have the fathers of their children in their lives lie to their kids about why, it's that little secret nobody wants to hear. Some women just make it impossible and are MORE than willing to hurt their own child to hurt the childs' father and a lot of fathers in those situations feel it's better to just stay away and possibly save their kid some long-term grief in relation to their crazy bitch of a mother. I know females that have literally BEATEN their kids because they show loyalty to their own father.


I don't say this to defend "deadbeat dads", I say this to shed some light on the fact that it's not all about dad in all these situations.

Also, MANY so-called deadbeat dads pay MORE than they are required by the court in the care of their child and are still labelled deadbeats because their lying baby-mother under reports the father's contribution. He may be buying food, clothes, various classes, toys, spending time with the kid, but when the court date comes, the mother walks in with a couple of cancelled checks and says he did nothing because he bought his kid school clothes intead of writing her a check she could spend half of on herself. I even know cats that give their exes access to their bank accounts (atm cards) and the baby mom wipes them out monthly, yet will go into court in a second and say he's done nothing.

That pendulum swings both ways.

I got three kids, WITH MY WIFE and I'm glad of it because having a kid by the wrong bitch is nothing but a lifetime of bullshit. Seems like even the so-called most honest of women will lie in the face of a family court judge.

Real Talk right there...

 

[FEB.14 1929]

damn its some fucked up stories in here. im glad i dont got no kids.

hearing this shit i dont see how somebody couldnt understand a dude killin a broad.

 

[XXXplosive]

I can understand not wanting to spend outrageous child support payments but there's no excuse to not wanting to spend TIME with your kids

 

[malachi76]

That's just dumb. There would be even more single mothers out there, and a lot more kids going to school wearing clothes from the Goodwill.

How about men just ask a woman what she will do if she gets pregnant before yall start fuckin.

i disagree with you on that because when a woman gets prego she have a choice in what she what to do not the man, if the man saids that he dont want any kids he should have a say so to, and not just force un wanted kids on him

 

[afroyale]

it's a males natural role to "insemenate" the woman,,, and "provide" for his seed (exactly the role child support plays). women are the natural "nurturers" to the seed.

notice in the animal kindgdom,,, most males don't even stick around after the conception. therefore,,, if a man didn't purposely plan on having a child,,, he doesn't naturally feel the need to nurture his seed.

Dude, wtf are you smoking?

I think the human race is a step above wild animals. Actually, human civilization advanced at a faster rate after we abandoned our "animalistic" ways. A good example is the institution of marriage. Marriage is a pure and artificial human invention that took us out of the stone age into the space age. The division of labor in raising human babies ensured our advancement. That was the main purpose of marriage.

Now, the feminist movement seeks to reduce human civilization to that of animals. The same stage that we started off with, eons of years ago. A stage where females have babies and just wander off alone, and at the mercy of the land (i.e government) to raise the babies.

 

[coolnmellow]

I've got a story. My 19 year old son is enrolled in college courses 9 hours to be exact. He also has a full time job that pays him $24 an hour. I am still paying his Mom $1300 a month child support because he is considered a full time student. In Missouri cases you pay until they are 22 years old or drop out of school. He does not want to go to school but his mom pays for Juco. My other partner is paying child support for a grandchild because his son got a girl pregnant and he is 16 and a minor. The courts make the parents pay. I have a great relationship with my son but he does not want to make his Mom mad so he plays the game.