A question for the ladies...

[jthebuda]

I need an honest opinion from a female perspective. How many of you get mad when your guys look at other women? I took my girl to Cedar Point (an amusement park in Ohio) yesterday. It was pretty hot and there is a water-park as well as a beach so there was no shortage of women running around in revealing tops, bathing suits etc. My girl got on my nerves to no end by pouting and getting an attitude everytime a girl walked by that she felt had a better body than her. "Why you looking at her ass?" "You want that huh?" and "Why don't you take a picture, it lasts longer." came out of her mouth a lot more than "Thanks for spending a small fortune in tickets, overpriced snacks and drinks and gas to bring me here so that we can have fun together." To me it seems like a sign of insecurity, Its not like I was turning my head all the way around to watch a chick walk past but if I see a girl that takes the time to look good I don't think that I'm wrong for taking a glance. In addition, I feel that its unrealistic to expect me to keep my head straight forward and go out of my way to "not look" at other women. If there is a woman with a phat ass in front of us in line for an hour and a half and she wants to shake her ass everytime a song she likes comes on the loud-speaker what am I supposed to do? Put on a blindfold? It also seems like a double standard when she obviously noticed too. I say this because when we saw an overweight, un-attractive woman wearing next to nothing she felt it neccesary to bring that to my attention as well, "She do not need to be wearing that." or "Who told her she looked good in that?" So ladies whats the verdict, am I a jackass or does she just need to chill out and deal with her insecure self image?

 

[followup]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

I need an honest opinion from a female perspective. How many of you get mad when your guys look at other women? I took my girl to Cedar Point (an amusement park in Ohio) yesterday. It was pretty hot and there is a water-park as well as a beach so there was no shortage of women running around in revealing tops, bathing suits etc. My girl got on my nerves to no end by pouting and getting an attitude everytime a girl walked by that she felt had a better body than her. "Why you looking at her ass?" "You want that huh?" and "Why don't you take a picture, it lasts longer." came out of her mouth a lot more than "Thanks for spending a small fortune in tickets, overpriced snacks and drinks and gas to bring me here so that we can have fun together." To me it seems like a sign of insecurity, Its not like I was turning my head all the way around to watch a chick walk past but if I see a girl that takes the time to look good I don't think that I'm wrong for taking a glance. In addition, I feel that its unrealistic to expect me to keep my head straight forward and go out of my way to "not look" at other women. If there is a woman with a phat ass in front of us in line for an hour and a half and she wants to shake her ass everytime a song she likes comes on the loud-speaker what am I supposed to do? Put on a blindfold? It also seems like a double standard when she obviously noticed too. I say this because when we saw an overweight, un-attractive woman wearing next to nothing she felt it neccesary to bring that to my attention as well, "She do not need to be wearing that." or "Who told her she looked good in that?" So ladies whats the verdict, am I a jackass or does she just need to chill out and deal with her insecure self image?

I get annoyed when you guys stare or start making ga-ga eyes. But if it's just a glance, hell I probably looked too. If you really were staring then she's right

 

[jthebuda]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

I get annoyed when you guys stare or start making ga-ga eyes. But if it's just a glance, hell I probably looked too. If you really were staring then she's right

You get annoyed when they stare at you? Why? Or when your guy stares at someone else? And I don't stare or make ga ga eyes. I just think its unrealistic to expect me to not notice other women.

 

[jucurious]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

ok

everyone notices ppl..that's normal...but like follow said..if u bout to walk into things, ur turning around breaking ur neck or ur eyes keep drifting that another woman's direction that disrespectful.

and from what u said ur girl said..she does sound insecure...does she have a reason to be insecure?

also, i don't like it when guys stare at me when they are with their girls...that puts ME in an uncomfortable position cuz he's looking at me lustfully and she's looking at me w/ an attitude and im like wtf.

well i have issues w/ being stared at period..but that's a different thread.

 

[followup]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

You get annoyed when they stare at you? Why? Or when your guy stares at someone else? And I don't stare or make ga ga eyes. I just think its unrealistic to expect me to not notice other women.

No--when the guy stares at a woman walking by. Like this one time I was out with my ex. And we were having a conversation over our food. This cute woman walks by and we both glanced over, but he lingered. He kept talking, but he kept looking too. Longer than a moment

 

[jthebuda]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

ok everyone notices ppl..that's normal...but like follow said..if u bout to walk into things, ur turning around breaking ur neck or ur eyes keep drifting that another woman's direction that disrespectful.

I don't go out of my way to look. But I'm not going to go out of my way to not look either.

and from what u said ur girl said..she does sound insecure...does she have a reason to be insecure?

The fact that there are other females on the planet seems to be enough for most women.

also, i don't like it when guys stare at me when they are with their girls...that puts ME in an uncomfortable position cuz he's looking at me lustfully and she's looking at me w/ an attitude and im like wtf.

I completely understand. You seem to be an intelligent and well rounded young lady with a firm grasp on reality. Unfortunately you also seem to be an exception to the rule in that regard. A lot of other women tend to try to get me to notice them more when I am with my girl than when I am alone.

well i have issues w/ being stared at period..but that's a different thread.

Once again, why? Coming from a guys perspective I hate if I am "caught looking" it creates an awkward situation in a lot of cases so I do everything to avoid it unless I'm trying to get a womans attention to gauge her reaction. Since I'm currently in a relationship thats not the case. I don't look lustfully and I don't feel that its criminal to admire a womans body. You have every right to go out in public as fine as you want to be wearing anything you want. But every man you run into has a right to look. He has no right to be rude or brash, approach you disrespectfully, follow you around after you leave the area or bother you in any way after you tell him that his attention is un-wanted and unrequited but he can still look. If you have a problem with that maybe you should stay home.

 

[jthebuda]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

No--when the guy stares at a woman walking by. Like this one time I was out with my ex. And we were having a conversation over our food. This cute woman walks by and we both glanced over, but he lingered. He kept talking, but he kept looking too. Longer than a moment

So as a guy that doesn't stare, make ga ga eyes, linger, follow with my eyes, pop a hard-on, whistle, cat-call, drool etc. Do you think that my girl is off base for her attitude and comments?

 

[jucurious]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

I don't go out of my way to look. But I'm not going to go out of my way to not look either.

hmmmmmmm

The fact that there are other females on the planet seems to be enough for most women.

OR ... your wandering eye might have caused some issues in the past...which is y i asked. yes some women are "bothered/threatened" by other women just cuz they might look better and the like while other women know their men and they know that their man's wandering eye is what caused them to cheat 2 weeks ago, have a baby w/ another chic a year ago, and caused that altercation last nite. what im saying is...there may be trust issues.

do you make her feel secure?

I completely understand. You seem to be an intelligent and well rounded young lady with a firm grasp on reality. Unfortunately you also seem to be an exception to the rule in that regard. A lot of other women tend to try to get me to notice them more when I am with my girl than when I am alone.

thanks for the compliment...and yeah i know of such females lol. its a game, its all a game.

Once again, why? Coming from a guys perspective I hate if I am "caught looking" it creates an awkward situation in a lot of cases so I do everything to avoid it unless I'm trying to get a womans attention to gauge her reaction. Since I'm currently in a relationship thats not the case. I don't look lustfully and I don't feel that its criminal to admire a womans body. You have every right to go out in public as fine as you want to be wearing anything you want. But every man you run into has a right to look. He has no right to be rude or brash, approach you disrespectfully, follow you around after you leave the area or bother you in any way after you tell him that his attention is un-wanted and unrequited but he can still look. If you have a problem with that maybe you should stay home.

well when i said being stared at period..i was referring to more than sexually. being started at to me can mean a lot of things: the person likes something, doesn't like somethin, i have a boogie, they are undressing me, i remind them of someone, they are about to rob me (based on experience) and what not but i will address your comment in the perspective of this thread.

your right i can't control people's eyes but along with the rights you have stated i also have the right to feel uncomfortable. it has nothing to do w/ dressing provocatively...it used to be very uncomfortable for me to turn around and notice ppl undressing me with their eyes. im not uncomfortable to the point that i'm going to freak out and have a panic attack so i WONT be staying home but i still don't like it.

 

[BrownTurd]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

My girl got on my nerves to no end by pouting and getting an attitude everytime a girl walked by that she felt had a better body than her. "Why you looking at her ass?" "You want that huh?" and "Why don't you take a picture, it lasts longer." came out of her mouth a lot more than. To me it seems like a sign of insecurity, IIf there is a woman with a phat ass in front of us in line for an hour and a half and she wants to shake her ass everytime a song she likes comes on the loud-speaker what am I supposed to do?

I am a dude but your question is pretty easy to answer. I will erase all the extras in your post and focus on what is important. You stated that your girl got on your nerves. This was a bad move on your part. Even though you did not physically say it your emotions and actions did. Your girl could see in your emotions that her questions were bothering you. This immediately sent a red flag to her. You have to understand a woman's emotions and the role she plays in a mans life. Because a woman submits to a man she can't build you a house provide for you financially or protect you. Her role is to nourish and support you mentally and physically as well as be the backbone of the family. You are the boss that makes powers moves while she is the manager that keeps everything running smoothly. She needs to feel like she is the only person that can satisfy you and manage your household. You take her role away from her by allowing yourself to stare at other woman. How would you feel if another man was providing for her financially?

To make it clearer for you look at it like this. If your girl was having a problem and you found out she went to another man to help solve them with out consulting you how would you feel? (because this is what men do...fix things) It would not make you to happy. Remember a woman needs to feel like she is the only one that can satisfy you. That is her role in the relationship. So when you look at other woman you are making her feel inadequate because she feels like the only ass you should want to stare at is hers. Also brotha there are 365 days in a year. Out of all the days you chose that day to look at other woman You are at a theme park for maybe four hours and you could not give your woman complete attention for those few hours. You had the rest of the week to look at woman. My brotha you got to make your life simple. You best believe she gone remember this for a while

Every woman on this board will tell they can read their mans expressions or read him very well. They can pick up on the slightest change in demeanor. If you would have laughed it off and complimented her assuring her how special she was then it would have been dropped and she would have not cared. Probably would have wanted you to enjoy yourself because she knew it made you happy at that point. I can almost promise you that when she asked the first question she read your demeanor and the way you responded. Whether you meant to or not your actions left a lot of room for misinterpretation. Next time kiss her hold her hand or do what ever to assure her that she is the only woman that can truly satisfy you and you will be good.

Now this is the bad news. Remember she can read you like a book. She might know a little more then you think and has a case building up on you. If this is the case..my brotha your time is limited (This is if you are cheating)

 

[followup]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

So as a guy that doesn't stare, make ga ga eyes, linger, follow with my eyes, pop a hard-on, whistle, cat-call, drool etc. Do you think that my girl is off base for her attitude and comments?

Yes, then she's in the wrong.

 

[Harlem's Angel]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

My thoughts...

1. Look but don't stare. Never turn your head.
2. She is obvoiusly insecure so why even look if it bothers her that much? Think about it, What do you gain? What can you lose?
3. Did you do something to make her so insecure? What have you done to build up her confidence?
4. Is she just crazy?

 

[jucurious]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

I am a dude but your question is pretty easy to answer. I will erase all the extras in your post and focus on what is important. You stated that your girl got on your nerves. This was a bad move on your part. Even though you did not physically say it your emotions and actions did. Your girl could see in your emotions that her questions were bothering you. This immediately sent a red flag to her. You have to understand a woman's emotions and the role she plays in a mans life. Because a woman submits to a man she can't build you a house provide for you financially or protect you. Her role is to nourish and support you mentally and physically as well as be the backbone of the family. You are the boss that makes powers moves while she is the manager that keeps everything running smoothly. She needs to feel like she is the only person that can satisfy you and manage your household. You take her role away from her by allowing yourself to stare at other woman. How would you feel if another man was providing for her financially?

To make it clearer for you look at it like this. If your girl was having a problem and you found out she went to another man to help solve them with out consulting you how would you feel? (because this is what men do...fix things) It would not make you to happy. Remember a woman needs to feel like she is the only one that can satisfy you. That is her role in the relationship. So when you look at other woman you are making her feel inadequate because she feels like the only ass you should want to stare at is hers. Also brotha there are 365 days in a year. Out of all the days you chose that day to look at other woman You are at a theme park for maybe four hours and you could not give your woman complete attention for those few hours. You had the rest of the week to look at woman. My brotha you got to make your life simple. You best believe she gone remember this for a while

Every woman on this board will tell they can read their mans expressions or read him very well. They can pick up on the slightest change in demeanor. If you would have laughed it off and complimented her assuring her how special she was then it would have been dropped and she would have not cared. Probably would have wanted you to enjoy yourself because she knew it made you happy at that point. I can almost promise you that when she asked the first question she read your demeanor and the way you responded. Whether you meant to or not your actions left a lot of room for misinterpretation. Next time kiss her hold her hand or do what ever to assure her that she is the only woman that can truly satisfy you and you will be good.

Now this is the bad news. Remember she can read you like a book. She might know a little more then you think and has a case building up on you. If this is the case..my brotha your time is limited (This is if you are cheating)

*in Borat voice* I LIKE YOU!

 

[DeSiRe]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

im not a fan of obvious staring

i dont really care about looking...it all depends on how u do it

if u look...and u she sees you looking...turn it into a compliment

instead of saying "damn she got a fat ass"

say "damn baby women like that make me appreciate your beauty...its second to none"

instead of pouting she will think about how shes gonna put it on u once yall get home

 

[femmenoire]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

Nothing wrong with a glance but if you're glancing at every woman that passes by you're too easily distracted.

 

[MTL]

I need an honest opinion from a female perspective. How many of you get mad when your guys look at other women? I took my girl to Cedar Point (an amusement park in Ohio) yesterday. It was pretty hot and there is a water-park as well as a beach so there was no shortage of women running around in revealing tops, bathing suits etc. My girl got on my nerves to no end by pouting and getting an attitude everytime a girl walked by that she felt had a better body than her. "Why you looking at her ass?" "You want that huh?" and "Why don't you take a picture, it lasts longer." came out of her mouth a lot more than "Thanks for spending a small fortune in tickets, overpriced snacks and drinks and gas to bring me here so that we can have fun together." To me it seems like a sign of insecurity, Its not like I was turning my head all the way around to watch a chick walk past but if I see a girl that takes the time to look good I don't think that I'm wrong for taking a glance. In addition, I feel that its unrealistic to expect me to keep my head straight forward and go out of my way to "not look" at other women. If there is a woman with a phat ass in front of us in line for an hour and a half and she wants to shake her ass everytime a song she likes comes on the loud-speaker what am I supposed to do? Put on a blindfold? It also seems like a double standard when she obviously noticed too. I say this because when we saw an overweight, un-attractive woman wearing next to nothing she felt it neccesary to bring that to my attention as well, "She do not need to be wearing that." or "Who told her she looked good in that?" So ladies whats the verdict, am I a jackass or does she just need to chill out and deal with her insecure self image?

A glance is fine. Shit, if she's good looking i'll give you the heads up! It all come down to RESPECT!

 

[Scorsese]

Shit, if she's good looking i'll give you the heads up! It all come down to RESPECT!

See I Fucks With Her....

Thats Real Spit !!!

 

[jthebuda]

See I Fucks With Her....

Thats Real Spit !!!

c/s

 

[jthebuda]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

I am a dude but your question is pretty easy to answer. I will erase all the extras in your post and focus on what is important. You stated that your girl got on your nerves. This was a bad move on your part. Even though you did not physically say it your emotions and actions did. Your girl could see in your emotions that her questions were bothering you. This immediately sent a red flag to her. You have to understand a woman's emotions and the role she plays in a mans life. Because a woman submits to a man she can't build you a house provide for you financially or protect you. Her role is to nourish and support you mentally and physically as well as be the backbone of the family. You are the boss that makes powers moves while she is the manager that keeps everything running smoothly. She needs to feel like she is the only person that can satisfy you and manage your household. You take her role away from her by allowing yourself to stare at other woman. How would you feel if another man was providing for her financially?

I don't think that there is a connection. Because I don't go out of my way to not look at a woman that is walking right in front of me I want her to fulfill my girls role all of a sudden? Thats quite a leap in logic. Me looking at another woman does not compare to her going to another man to do my job for me. Me fucking, dating, kissing, etc. another woman does and thats something I don't do.

To make it clearer for you look at it like this. If your girl was having a problem and you found out she went to another man to help solve them with out consulting you how would you feel? (because this is what men do...fix things) It would not make you to happy. Remember a woman needs to feel like she is the only one that can satisfy you. That is her role in the relationship. So when you look at other woman you are making her feel inadequate because she feels like the only ass you should want to stare at is hers. Also brotha there are 365 days in a year. Out of all the days you chose that day to look at other woman You are at a theme park for maybe four hours and you could not give your woman complete attention for those few hours. You had the rest of the week to look at woman. My brotha you got to make your life simple. You best believe she gone remember this for a while

I didn't go with the intent of scoping out ass all day. I went to have fun with my girl, me noticing ass was a physical side effect just like getting sore feet from walking around all day. No other woman ever had my attention, just my eyeballs for a few seconds.

Every woman on this board will tell they can read their mans expressions or read him very well. They can pick up on the slightest change in demeanor. If you would have laughed it off and complimented her assuring her how special she was then it would have been dropped and she would have not cared. Probably would have wanted you to enjoy yourself because she knew it made you happy at that point. I can almost promise you that when she asked the first question she read your demeanor and the way you responded. Whether you meant to or not your actions left a lot of room for misinterpretation. Next time kiss her hold her hand or do what ever to assure her that she is the only woman that can truly satisfy you and you will be good.

My demeaner and response? It was easy enough to read.

Now this is the bad news. Remember she can read you like a book. She might know a little more then you think and has a case building up on you. If this is the case..my brotha your time is limited (This is if you are cheating)

You too? jcurious implied that I am a cheating piece of shit as well. Is the morality of the Black man in such a state that its a foregone conclusion that he is cheating?

 

[jthebuda]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

im not a fan of obvious staring

i dont really care about looking...it all depends on how u do it

if u look...and u she sees you looking...turn it into a compliment

instead of saying "damn she got a fat ass"

say "damn baby women like that make me appreciate your beauty...its second to none"

instead of pouting she will think about how shes gonna put it on u once yall get home

So in other words I should lie to her to cover it up?

 

[BrownTurd]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

I don't think that there is a connection. Because I don't go out of my way to not look at a woman that is walking right in front of me I want her to fulfill my girls role all of a sudden? Thats quite a leap in logic. Me looking at another woman does not compare to her going to another man to do my job for me. Me fucking, dating, kissing, etc. another woman does and thats something I don't do.



I didn't go with the intent of scoping out ass all day. I went to have fun with my girl, me noticing ass was a physical side effect just like getting sore feet from walking around all day. No other woman ever had my attention, just my eyeballs for a few seconds.



My demeaner and response? It was easy enough to read.



You too? jcurious implied that I am a cheating piece of shit as well. Is the morality of the Black man in such a state that its a foregone conclusion that he is cheating?

You are missing the point. Stop thinking like a man and try to see the world through the eyes of your woman. Like I stated to you in my response....you left a lot of room for misinterpretation. I am with you brotha with the fact that you did not do anything wrong. But you also did nothing to validate your girls feelings. This is where you went wrong. When she accused you of looking all you had to do was validate her feelings. A couple of tricks to use. Never answer a question with out knowing the reason the question was asked. You needed to find out why she asked the question or made the statement to you. Every emotion has a underlying cause and that is what you need to tap into or figure out what that cause is. Simply giving an answer without knowing the underlying cause will frustrate her. She will feel like you don't understand her. You find the underlying cause by reversing the question or statement. For example...when she accused you of looking you should have responded in a caring and passionate way "Baby whats wrong is everything ok." What you are doing is forcing her to give you an answer. Next Validate her feelings by saying "I am sorry I made you feel that way and no one compares to you blah blah blah" Then simply ask her what can you do to make her feel comfortable.

All a woman wants a man to do is validate her feelings. By getting frustrated and saying you were not looking is not validating her feelings. Once you validate her feelings she will leave you alone and case will be closed.

Remember you are the boss that calls all the shots and she is the manager that keeps everything running smoothly. You indirectly dissed her and by your actions stated she was not doing a good job. I know it don't make any since but it is not supposed to. Just validate her feelings and keep it moving. Women do it all the time. Like when she is tired and you want sex...in her head she is saying "Damn I wish he would hurry up and get his because I got things to do. Why he always want it every night? Oh Yes baby Yes...I wonder if those kids did there homework. Good he busted a nut.....Baby that was the best gosh you were killing me" See women validate men feelings all the time so don't be afraid to validate hers

 

[jucurious]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

You too? jcurious implied that I am a cheating piece of shit as well. Is the morality of the Black man in such a state that its a foregone conclusion that he is cheating?

i didn't imply anything towards you...i gave u reasons y ur girl might be insecure...notice that Harlem stated the same thing in her list.

 

[DeSiRe]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

So in other words I should lie to her to cover it up?

nobody said anythinng about lying...theres gotta be something u like about the girl

 

[Stumpy1]

Re: A quetion for the ladies...

Just do what my dad taught me a ways back. I told him he better stop looking around before Ms. Keisha snap on him, he replied "...shit, I'm wearing shades...so I can look were ever I won't...and she want even know."