30+ Dating Tips?

[sakinnuso]

Okay ladies,

I'm probably opening up to all kinds of flame and I've debated for weeks over this, but I could really use some suggestions. Sincere suggestions.

So maybe it's because I'm hitting 34 this year that it's starting to annoy me. I've always been more of the 'settling down'/stable type, and I'm waaaaaay too old for the clubs. I'd say that 90% of the women that I meet in the age bracket and maturity level that I'm into (between 29-35) are married. Of course, I'm meeting younger women (under 26) that really don't do anything for me.

All of the fellas are wifed up or damn near close to it, and it's been nearly 6 years since I've been in a committed and serious relationship. The internet - at least the online dating avenues - seem played, and the women at work (which is usually a bad look) are, again, too young and already ringed up.

I've settled on the fact that any woman I meet is likely going to have children, and I've made peace with that. I've even accepted that most of the women in my bracket, if available, are likely divorced. I've lowered my standards a little, and relinquished that yearning for a strong, intelligent, god-fearing militant, au naturale black woman seems a fool's quest - at least within my parameters. Realistically, my choices fall somewhere between permed-up reformed party-girl, and a weaved-out baggage-heavy 'I shoulda married white' neo black woman.

Is my age and lack of children a red flag?

I was an online, teledate, chat-house guru since before 'internet' was a mainstream thing, and I've been terribly unlucky. Charming and amiable, I am, and women friends from coast-to-coast swear by me as 'a great guy'....

...but solo nonetheless. And I'm beginning to feel like Uncle Rollo, that cat who was cool when you were younger but you're starting to see how odd that dude is now that your own maturity gives you a new pair of eyes.

Anyway, I refuse to date interracial (and for the fellas that have shit to say, save it), but I'm starting to feel like something of a matyr....

...without a cause. And I really, REALLY ain't tryin' to be out this bitch fuckin' just for the hell of it.

Suggestions?

Oh, and sorry for the poor syntax. It's late.

 

[sakinnuso]

My bad fam, SGOL is the wrong place for this kinda bullshit topic. Still, anybody know of any venues/boards where this topic would be a good conversation? Nothin's better than BGOL/SGOL, but a cool companion board would be interesting. Thanks in ADVANCE for limiting the rude comments...

 

[Steelwill2006]

My bad fam, SGOL is the wrong place for this kinda bullshit topic. Still, anybody know of any venues/boards where this topic would be a good conversation? Nothin's better than BGOL/SGOL, but a cool companion board would be interesting. Thanks in ADVANCE for limiting the rude comments...

 

[Izayoi]

Realistically, my choices fall somewhere between permed-up reformed party-girl, and a weaved-out baggage-heavy 'I shoulda married white' neo black woman.

Is my age and lack of children a red flag?

I was an online, teledate, chat-house guru since before 'internet' was a mainstream thing, and I've been terribly unlucky. Charming and amiable, I am, and women friends from coast-to-coast swear by me as 'a great guy'....

...but solo nonetheless. And I'm beginning to feel like Uncle Rollo, that cat who was cool when you were younger but you're starting to see how odd that dude is now that your own maturity gives you a new pair of eyes.

Anyway, I refuse to date interracial (and for the fellas that have shit to say, save it), but I'm starting to feel like something of a matyr....

...without a cause. And I really, REALLY ain't tryin' to be out this bitch fuckin' just for the hell of it.

Suggestions?

Oh, and sorry for the poor syntax. It's late.

Saki wow please don't settle for that. You can do bad by yourself. I don't have a lot to offer from a man over 30 perspective, but it seems compatible people (friends or otherwise) pop up whenever I'm doing the things I enjoy and am in a good place in my life.


Best to you.

 

[thetipisthick]

Here is a site that might work for you http://www.bridesagency.com/

or this one http://www.assistedsuicide.org/

 

[Bushmon]

Bro Good things come to those who wait. Never lower your standards. Keep up, she will come. Just make sure you are ready to receive.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

1) apply coco butter to hand

2) apply hand to dick

3) massage coco butter into dick until rigidity has subsided

4) repeat as needed


I turned 30 the other day and from my experience this is the best way to stop from making a damn fool of yourself trying to find happiness with a woman. Just accept the fact that missed the boat and find a new dream to chase. Maybe take up photography or basket weaving.

 

[ladyscorpio]

Bro Good things come to those who wait. Never lower your standards. Keep up, she will come. Just make sure you are ready to receive.

Great advice right here brother Saki. The love you seek will come when you least expect. Do NOT settle for less than what you are worth. Positive thinking puts out positive vibes brother. Be open to different possibilities. And like the bredren Bushmon says just be ready to receive.





Peace

 

[sakinnuso]

1) apply coco butter to hand

2) apply hand to dick

3) massage coco butter into dick until rigidity has subsided

4) repeat as needed


I turned 30 the other day and from my experience this is the best way to stop from making a damn fool of yourself trying to find happiness with a woman. Just accept the fact that missed the boat and find a new dream to chase. Maybe take up photography or basket weaving.

Here is a site that might work for you http://www.bridesagency.com/

or this one http://www.assistedsuicide.org/

Niggas got mad jokes. And *hey* I happen to *like* photography

On some real shit, let me clarify. The message wasn't meant to imply that I was on some can't get a girl shit. Meeting and fucking with girls between 21-26 is stupid easy. No, my post was about how to meet WOMEN. I was opening up dialogue on how to meet and date MATURELY over 30.

When I specified lowering the standards, I was talking about the fact that women I tend to meet, tend to be those types. Where are the single types like myself? Where do they congregate, and if the Oprah statistic of single intelligent women over 30 is so overpowering, where are they, and how am I always meeting these women AFTER they've fucked with baby daddy living in the basement still making beats while waiting by the phone for the temp agency??

Peace Scorpio, Bush, and Izayoi.

 

[SuperGenius]

Bro Good things come to those who wait. Never lower your standards. Keep up, she will come. Just make sure you are ready to receive.

Co-sign. Take it from another 30+ cat. Now I disagree with you on lowering your standards fam. You may make certain adjustments in your standards, but IMO that faaaar different from lowering them. Plus, what your feeling now is just a faze, you are going through a mental/maturing transition right now....it'll pass. (it'll make u even wiser) I believe GOD has a plan for all of us, and as of now it's not your time to settle yet, so take advantage of the time and do you.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

Niggas got mad jokes. And *hey* I happen to *like* photography

On some real shit, let me clarify. The message wasn't meant to imply that I was on some can't get a girl shit. Meeting and fucking with girls between 21-26 is stupid easy. No, my post was about how to meet WOMEN. I was opening up dialogue on how to meet and date MATURELY over 30.

When I specified lowering the standards, I was talking about the fact that women I tend to meet, tend to be those types. Where are the single types like myself? Where do they congregate, and if the Oprah statistic of single intelligent women over 30 is so overpowering, where are they, and how am I always meeting these women AFTER they've fucked with baby daddy living in the basement still making beats while waiting by the phone for the temp agency??

Peace Scorpio, Bush, and Izayoi.

Okay, seriously now

Most women that I've dated who are over 30 are either bitter ugly cows who have expectations that are painfully out of line with what they have to offer (i.e. a 5'7 200 lb single mother of 3 working at McDonalds insisting on a physically fit professional man) or they have SERIOUS personality and lifestyle flaws (i.e. a woman with a college degree who looks and talks like Naomi Campbell but also has a drinking problem and a stalker ex-boyfriend). There's a small third type that is so dedicated to their professions you can hardly even get them on the phone let alone have a steady date with them.

 

[black again]

This is simple. You can believe it or not. If you feel that you won't find anyone compatible, you won't. If you feel your age is a red flag, it will be. You'll wear it subconsciously, proudly. If you feel you'll be the "odd" uncle Rollo, you will be. If you keep attracting the wrong type of woman, for you, don't blame the woman. What signals are YOU giving off that attracts them? Sounds like you've given up, may man. Don't. You're just STARTING to mature. Most of the things that you experience in your 20's are NEW. In your early 30's, you're starting to see things for the second time. Things get a lil clearer. And if you think most women 29-35 are married, you'd be surprised at how many good Black women are looking for a man that wants to settle down. DON'T PANIC...DON'T APPEAR DESPERATE. Women can smell that 100 miles away..they can even smell it thru the internet & telephone lines. Good luck bruh!

 

[LeftyLuchini]

Okay ladies,

I'm probably opening up to all kinds of flame and I've debated for weeks over this, but I could really use some suggestions. Sincere suggestions.

So maybe it's because I'm hitting 34 this year that it's starting to annoy me. I've always been more of the 'settling down'/stable type, and I'm waaaaaay too old for the clubs. I'd say that 90% of the women that I meet in the age bracket and maturity level that I'm into (between 29-35) are married. Of course, I'm meeting younger women (under 26) that really don't do anything for me.

All of the fellas are wifed up or damn near close to it, and it's been nearly 6 years since I've been in a committed and serious relationship. The internet - at least the online dating avenues - seem played, and the women at work (which is usually a bad look) are, again, too young and already ringed up.

I've settled on the fact that any woman I meet is likely going to have children, and I've made peace with that. I've even accepted that most of the women in my bracket, if available, are likely divorced. I've lowered my standards a little, and relinquished that yearning for a strong, intelligent, god-fearing militant, au naturale black woman seems a fool's quest - at least within my parameters. Realistically, my choices fall somewhere between permed-up reformed party-girl, and a weaved-out baggage-heavy 'I shoulda married white' neo black woman.

Is my age and lack of children a red flag?

I was an online, teledate, chat-house guru since before 'internet' was a mainstream thing, and I've been terribly unlucky. Charming and amiable, I am, and women friends from coast-to-coast swear by me as 'a great guy'....

...but solo nonetheless. And I'm beginning to feel like Uncle Rollo, that cat who was cool when you were younger but you're starting to see how odd that dude is now that your own maturity gives you a new pair of eyes.

Anyway, I refuse to date interracial (and for the fellas that have shit to say, save it), but I'm starting to feel like something of a matyr....

...without a cause. And I really, REALLY ain't tryin' to be out this bitch fuckin' just for the hell of it.

Suggestions?

Oh, and sorry for the poor syntax. It's late.

i completely feel u dog..
im in the exact same issue as you (except i am a parent).
30+, never married, ready to settle it down, etc.

and true, the females under 27 are very youngminded as opposed to 10+ years ago.

but dont give up mayne.

first thing i can say,

MOVE OUTTA CALI.
..cuz u aint gonna find nobody there worth having.

u might wanna start going to church,
or some other community functions.

the women ure looking for are usually very busy,
but always have time to go to church.

also, ive met some real good woman thru their mothers who i worked/ went to church with.

that ol "you need to meet my daughter" line is golden.
and u know when momma hooks u up with her fine daughter,
u in like flynn.



www.rkellyisguilty.com

 

[lilsexii]

This is simple. You can believe it or not. If you feel that you won't find anyone compatible, you won't. If you feel your age is a red flag, it will be. You'll wear it subconsciously, proudly. If you feel you'll be the "odd" uncle Rollo, you will be. If you keep attracting the wrong type of woman, for you, don't blame the woman. What signals are YOU giving off that attracts them? Sounds like you've given up, may man. Don't. You're just STARTING to mature. Most of the things that you experience in your 20's are NEW. In your early 30's, you're starting to see things for the second time. Things get a lil clearer. And if you think most women 29-35 are married, you'd be surprised at how many good Black women are looking for a man that wants to settle down. DON'T PANIC...DON'T APPEAR DESPERATE. Women can smell that 100 miles away..they can even smell it thru the internet & telephone lines. Good luck bruh!

That's universal - true for the sistas too

 

[sakinnuso]

Thanks for the advice, fam. I hope everybody in this boat - men AND women can get something from it.

LeftyLuchini: I thought about packing up and going to ATL, trust me. I've got too much to do out here first though, and I just can't swear off a whole state - yet. My next move is either ATL or Ghana, or Nigeria, straight up.

Church might be a great move. I just can't go for the dimes. Gotta get the spirit straight, and the woman will be a pleasant bonus

Peace.

 

[bigirl]

As for Cali, I always found more enlightened types to the north. In and around LA I found real plastic bullshit people.

 

[Maurice]

Dude as you get older your value goes up not down dummy. Women who are 30 should be worried not you. As long as you progress in your life goals don't worry bout no bitch





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