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Why breaking your New Year’s resolution might be the smartest move you make
Therapists call this strategy "paradoxical intent"—and it works.
Sean Kernan
Creator•Follow
Jan 2, 2026
4 min read
Every year I see it.
They come into the gym, with their new neon yoga pants, their Under Armour shirts, with fresh shoes that still squeak on the ground when they walk. Their posture reflects that of hope and motivation.
They get on the treadmill, turn up the speed slowly, then get impatient and jog so fast that their faces turn cherry red. They stop and lean over the treadmill, as the belt flies beneath them and they feel the lactic acid building up too quickly.
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Then — I see the doubt in their faces. The private negotiation begins.
“Do I really need to be here?”
“I was supposed to do 20 minutes. Maybe I’ll just do 11 instead.”
“Maybe I can just improve my diet instead.”
Then, they silence those doubts. But each iteration, the doubts get louder, and eventually — I stop seeing them at the gym entirely.
Americans have proven woefully ill-prepared to follow through on their New Year’s Resolutions. Per
a 2023 survey, less than 10% of Americans fulfill their goals. I found other surveys showing slightly better results, but only slightly.
Perhaps it is time for a change in approach.
results
(UK Survey)
Why you should intentionally violate your resolution
There is value in violating your New Year’s goal more intentionally, as opposed to surrendering to it.
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It is called
paradoxical intent and is used frequently in many behavioral treatments
Famed psychiatrist, Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, used
paradoxical intent when treating patients with anxiety disorders and deep fears. He invited patients to actively engage and manifest things they feared most, trying to induce the panic attack they were so afraid of. And, paradoxically, it reduced anticipatory anxiety and broke the fear loop.
With insomnia patients, doctors often task patients with intentionally staying up later. In the end, it actually helps them sleep better and more fully.
Why? Because it shifts their
intent away from forcing sleep and removes the pressure. It also reduces anxiety around feeling like you can’t sleep, and thereby helps them sleep better.
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I’ve found this same thing happens when I needed to wake up earlier than usual. My fear of not being able to sleep, and of being tired the next day, only exacerbates the problem. Yet when I just let go of those thoughts, I pass out like I’ve been hit by a tranquilizer dart.
With New Year’s resolutions, painfully similar things can happen. By becoming obsessed with a goal, we can fall into the trap of avoiding it, almost like a student does with homework and procrastination. The pressure of achieving makes many of us look away and do other things.
Insideoutmastery
(Insideoutmastery)
One paradoxical intent strategy to use
Give yourself a get-out-of-jail free card. It’s a hall pass to skip one of your mandated workouts the following week, at your choosing. It is always available. And you can burn it when you want.
As a personal trainer, I tried this with several clients and they found it immensely helpful. It took the pressure off of them with the prescribed workouts I’d given. It also allowed them to feel more in control of their lives. So that when they did burn their skip card, it didn’t feel quite as bad, like they were losing momentum as a whole with their goals.
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It also helps people avoid what I’ve called the Spiraling Effect. Often, when a person fails to meet a daily or weekly goal, they’ll see that as evidence of their own lack of willpower or failure. They’ll spiral downwards from there — eventually losing out on their goal.
Ideally, one should move away from using skip cards every week and try to embrace a plan wholeheartedly. But it can be a great way to help start.
A parting warning
No, this approach won’t work for all resolutions. If you are trying to quit smoking, I certainly wouldn’t encourage you to go smoke a cigarette to help you quit smoking, or do so with any addiction. These problems can be quite complex and multifaceted, and may need expert guidance.
Paradoxical intent, and the intentional violation of your New Year’s Resolution in controlled settings — can be a fantastic way to help revitalize your goals, reduce pressure, and avoid the feelings of powerlessness that often occur.
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I would encourage people to develop systems and practices that help bake these changes into their lifestyle. Betting all your chips on a goal made on a singular day, isn’t the most efficient way of operating. Do everything you can to reduce mental and physical friction between you and achieving your resolution — even if that means intentionally violating it.
And if you are seeing this and your goal is to get in shape and go to the gym more, let this article be your prompt to put on your workout shoes and go. Use that get-out-of-jail card another day
insight.kellogg.northwestern.edu
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