Lemme tell y'all 'bout this chick....
First, we met in L.A. Fitness parking. She and her friend spoke and made light convo as I parked and walked in, when I came out she had put her card on my truck. She worked at the CDC
Man, this chick 35, and ain't had sex in 5 years... and I believe her. Too many clues point to it being true, and she like to be all affectionate & shit. Like all over a nigga, all mushy & romantic and shit. I had to stop her from fucking w/ me like that if she wasn't gon fuck, I straight up told her like that..... bih, my dick ain't to be trifled wit.
I ask her why it's been 5 years, she says she's waiting on a relationship. So she ain't had nothin close to a relationship for 5 years.
Then after talkin' for about a month or so, she tells me it's more like 10 years, but there was 1 guy she fucked in the middle of the 10 year (self inflicted) drought. So I been calling her 10 years a virgin (and "no salt" because she don't cook w/ no salt, bih food be bland as Golden Coral). So I engage her about the 10 years thing and how she waiting on a relationship. I ask her how she expects to get from "talkin" or "dating" to a "relationship" without bussin it open and ask her if she thinks that maybe she runs niggas off by sending mixed signals with all the affection. She gon ask me, "is it sexual or intimate?"
I said, "It's sexual, I know the difference"
She know what it is ... I done slept over her apt, I sleep bucket neked, and I wake up to her looking at me. She flat told me one time that she stares at my dick when I'm sleep. Mind you, when I first met I tried to fuck like twice, she let it get hot & heavy but wouldn't suck the dick or let me fuck
Usually I'on give a chick a second time to disappoint... I got a saying, "If she'on fuck on the first night (first oppurtunity), it won't be a second", but I let her do it
She got laid off so I was trying to encourage her into starting a non-profit and getting funds from CDC (that's the dept. she worked in anyway, she checked up on different non-profits around the region that CDC gave money to & made sure they was using the money like they said they would)
Then another day after we had talked about pornos, she asks if I can show her some porn on my laptop....
Shid, I showed her! I'on remember what clip it was, but when it got to the part where the chick was sucking dick with a lot of spit, and the money shot.... she acted like it was a horror movie. She gasped, yelled, covered her face with both hands! I looked at her w/ a raised eyebrow and made mental note, "Me & dis bih can't do NOTHIN in the sex department"
So tonight she calls and asks me about my day, asks me when I want her to come help me with some organization stuff at my office, I say, "Iunno, I'll let you know". I small talk & get off phone. She calls back and asks me if I wanna come over, I'm like "not tonight" (I don't ever sleep good over there, and I need to use my AutoPAP machine) She starts in about how she's frustrated and shit. I know what it is ... I'm playing coy tho. I had already told her that I thought we should be friends, I'm brutally honest, I always keep it 100. So I end up telling her why I don't think we're compatible (1. she ain't sexually on my level... no cumshot, no finish mouth, cringe @ thought of exchange of bodily fluids. 2. she needy, amount & kind of affection she needs is childlike). I had debated with myself if I should tell her why because it could very likely not have a positive effect or outcome. It didn't. It started downhill when I asked if she's approachable. She was crying before we got off the phone, not understanding why everybody critiquing her ways when it comes to meeting men.
Now that I think about it, she the second chick I had cry on the phone today..