15 resolutions for parents - some feedback please

[Upgrade Dave]

I think with this, i was taking into consideration what you had said about how things were...back in the olden times. I don't think people went out dating and such back in those days lol. I don't recall too much 'bonding' time. Just saying. I don't recall all this our relationship talk from our parents. I'm going to ask the older women of my family if this went on. AS a matter of fact this is going to be a good blog topic for my older lady friends to tell me about.

When was this anyway? The 70s?

 

[Upgrade Dave]

This column struck me as a necessary reminder in the era of spoiled children and unduly put-upon parents (through their own fault).
Right now I'm watching the old black and white movie "Mildred Pierce" where the point of the movie was a parent who put her daughter above everything else and it ends horribly for all parties. It was ahead of it's time.

 

[dHustla]

When was this anyway? The 70s?

I know, right. Shawty talk so damn kUnTrie.

This is now 2011... ketchup and get you some mustard

Things change.... and things stay the same.

I agree with Dave on the cell phone thing, until they are old enough to afford one... they don't and won't be going anywhere that parents won't know about in full. The children should be respectful and fearful enough of the parents to not do otherwise.... cell phone or not.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

When was this anyway? The 70s?

Ok so far the responses i've gotten were no. It was a different time and they didn't think about those kinds of things.

How their relationship was doing didn't factor into their thinking. And they never thought about it because they didnt' have the luxury of it.

Annnd so far these have been women of the 70's, 60's and 50's. I would really like to hear from the depression era.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Ok so far the responses i've gotten were no. It was a different time and they didn't think about those kinds of things.

How their relationship was doing didn't factor into their thinking. And they never thought about it because they didnt' have the luxury of it.

Annnd so far these have been women of the 70's, 60's and 50's. I would really like to hear from the depression era.

What are you asking them exactly? That seems to be what I already said.

They didn't have to talk about it because it was expected. Now people are more willing to put the ultimate effort into their careers and put that and their kids before their relationship and then they wonder why the relationship didn't work out.

You didnt have to talk about doing what you were expected to do. They didn't live in the talk show philosophy era like we do.

That's a great philospohy to have in make believe world. But in real world it's a different story.

LI,
Frankly, that's bullshit. You're either in control of your life (as best you can be) or you're a victim. We live in the exact same world you do, nothing imaginary about it. When you take the reins of your life you don't worry about "optimal conditions", you take what is and make it work. Don't cop out like that.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

What are you asking them exactly? That seems to be what I already said.

How did you view the emotionality of your relationship?
Was emotionality expected from your husband?
Did you discuss Your relationship at night when the kids went to bed?
Did you make time for just you and your husband? How would that have been viewed by him?
Did you and hubby have datenight?

Some other things, i can't recall right now. I definitely asked my grandmother in law, she and her husband were married for almost 70 years.

You didnt have to talk about doing what you were expected to do. They didn't live in the talk show philosophy era like we do.

Now you believe that relationship discussions were expected?

LI,
Frankly, that's bullshit. You're either in control of your life (as best you can be) or you're a victim. We live in the exact same world you do, nothing imaginary about it. When you take the reins of your life you don't worry about "optimal conditions", you take what is and make it work. Don't cop out like that.

Mr. Dave, i disagree. This is something very close and personal to me. So i will say nothing further other than, it's silly to ME to believe that you can maintain any relevant control over your life. You don't control anything.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

What are you asking them exactly? That seems to be what I already said.

How did you view the emotionality of your relationship?
Was emotionality expected from your husband?
Did you discuss Your relationship at night when the kids went to bed?
Did you make time for just you and your husband? How would that have been viewed by him?
Did you and hubby have datenight?

Some other things, i can't recall right now. I definitely asked my grandmother in law, she and her husband were married for almost 70 years.




Now you believe that relationship discussions were expected?

Now I know our signals are crossed because that's exactly opposite to what I believe.
I find it funny that in the era of "communication" (which really just means airing your dirty laundry whenever you got a bug up your butt to some people) relationships don't last as long and aren't as solid as past generations that did less talking. Old couples went through the same shit, they just handled it differently.

Mr. Dave, i disagree. This is something very close and personal to me. So i will say nothing further other than, it's silly to ME to believe that you can maintain any relevant control over your life. You don't control anything.

I understand this being very personal but I know you don't believe that based on your own words.
In another thread, maybe here or on the main board, you said you didn't want to have any children not by your husband and the best way to guarantee that was by not having sex with men. Even as a flippant throwaway line, that expresses a degree of control of your life.
You can't control everything and often times very little but the stuff you can (the rearing of your own children) you do it. We all do.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

bump so I don't have to search for it again.