Sexually How Vital Is Your Mate's Sexual Ability?

[Mo-Better]

I asked this knowing women who remained in relationships with men that couldn't (or didn't) satisfy them sexually. You already know what later happened.

Sex is the a vital component to any relationship. Personally a woman that can't satisfy me I can't stay with. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

How many of you ladies have maintained relationships with other that didn't satisfy? Be real you know if your not having orgasms with your mate, sexually your not happy. Buzz buzz maybe cool for awhile but there's nothing like the real thing. An eventually you will seek out the real thing.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

So if a .... what do you mean you wouldn't stay with a woman who didn't satisfy you..What do you mean by SATISFY you exactly?

 

[followup]

never stayed in a relationship with bad sex. That is crucial since I plan on having sex until I'm in my 70s at least. You always hear women say a man can be trained, but really you can only train a man that has SOME natural abilities in sex. you know, raw talent?

 

[Mo-Better]

So if a .... what do you mean you wouldn't stay with a woman who didn't satisfy you..What do you mean by SATISFY you exactly?

If your mate can't satisfy you sexually why stay with them. Why fake orgasms? Why deceive why live a lie?

 

[Mo-Better]

never stayed in a relationship with bad sex. That is crucial since I plan on having sex until I'm in my 70s at least. You always hear women say a man can be trained, but really you can only train a man that has SOME natural abilities in sex. you know, raw talent?

See this is real. The right person can learn and everyone benefits but what about those that just don't have it in them?

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

If your mate can't satisfy you sexually why stay with them. Why fake orgasms? Why deceive why live a lie?

Not a lie...Just why not be truthful? And discuss it with your partner. And what do you mean satisfy you sexually? You haven' told me what that means to you.

 

[followup]

See this is real. The right person can learn and everyone benefits but what about those that just don't have it in them?

go to the others? or get rich and find a gold digger who won't care

 

[Mo-Better]

Not a lie...Just why not be truthful? And discuss it with your partner. And what do you mean satisfy you sexually? You haven' told me what that means to you.

If your not having orgasms and feeling sexually fulfilled your not being sexually satisfied. If your still longing for more your not being sexually satisfied.

As for being truthful you may have someone who might truly adore you. The person may be well off financially. All is well between you except in bed. How do you tell this person your sexually inept? That you need more that your sexually unhappy? This is not an easy conversation.

 

[Mo-Better]

go to the others? or get rich and find a gold digger who won't care

Is that really in you?

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

If your not having orgasms and feeling sexually fulfilled your not being sexually satisfied. If your still longing for more your not being sexually satisfied.

As for being truthful you may have someone who might truly adore you. The person may be well off financially. All is well between you except in bed. How do you tell this person your sexually inept? That you need more that your sexually unhappy? This is not an easy conversation.

No it's not easy. But hurting feelings is NEVER easy. And if this person loves you, then they'll do whatever they can and be as understanding in what you're saying. People base TOO much off of lies. Their whole relationships are based on lies. When all you have to do is be honest with the person you claim to love.

So for you a woman doesn't "make" you cum? How would you BE with her? I mean are we discussing ALREADY in the relationship? Or are we talking about...after first time having sex?

 

[Izayoi]

If your mate can't satisfy you sexually why stay with them. Why fake orgasms? Why deceive why live a lie?

I don't think it's always that. I never had problems achieving physical pleasure with my ex, but there was always maybe that spark missing. It's hard to explain. It's like we both enjoyed the meal, but he was a vegan and I was a carnivore so both of us never quite got what we had a taste for out the meal (at least I didn't).That totally was not his fault though. We were just really really different in that way. And like Follow said, you can only talk somethings to a point. At a certain point, if you are missing some chemistry you can't "teach" that. He is great, smart, and funny guy and that's why I stayed with him as long as I did. Ofcourse....I did lose my mind at some point, but that's all in the past.

 

[Daddy43205]

if she is worth keeping around sex can be taught now if she had some dry ass no good pussy i might have to bounce.

 

[Daddy43205]

if she is worth keeping around sex can be taught now if she had some dry ass no good pussy i might have to bounce.

 

[followup]

Is that really in you?

say what now?

 

[Rudey]

if she is worth keeping around sex can be taught.....

True!

No need to question why there is an increase rate in unplanned pregnancy, abortion, STDs and infidelity. People spend more time trying to find a sex partner than a life partner.

 

[Chicutie]

I don't think it's always that. I never had problems achieving physical pleasure with my ex, but there was always maybe that spark missing. It's hard to explain. It's like we both enjoyed the meal, but he was a vegan and I was a carnivore so both of us never quite got what we had a taste for out the meal (at least I didn't).That totally was not his fault though. We were just really really different in that way. And like Follow said, you can only talk somethings to a point. At a certain point, if you are missing some chemistry you can't "teach" that. He is great, smart, and funny guy and that's why I stayed with him as long as I did. Ofcourse....I did lose my mind at some point, but that's all in the past.

That actually describes it perfectly. .. I've definitely had some of those experiences. It's like the sex isn't bad BUT. . .you've had something on a deeper level so you know that's not quite it. Interesting. .


I've had a couple relationships where the sex wasn't satisfying but I stayed anyway. . I know better now. That chemistry just can't be faked.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Medical/physical conditions aside, if the sex is lame, we won't make it.

 

[playahaitian]

it depends on the relationship...

some people are more open and if they are satisified mentally and emotionally and finiaicially so be it, no sex or little sex is enough.

Some may be shocked but some men are NOT that into sex just like some women aren't and are totally comfortable with that.

And would even allow "cheating" as long as they were careful.

I think as we evolve and relationships begin to resist society rules we may see more of this.

However I myself need a women who can twerk that azz till I pass out

 

[Mo-Better]

No it's not easy. But hurting feelings is NEVER easy. And if this person loves you, then they'll do whatever they can and be as understanding in what you're saying. People base TOO much off of lies. Their whole relationships are based on lies. When all you have to do is be honest with the person you claim to love.

So for you a woman doesn't "make" you cum? How would you BE with her? I mean are we discussing ALREADY in the relationship? Or are we talking about...after first time having sex?

No this is not a relationship I'm in but I have had experiences to a degree. But I know a woman who's going through this very thing. Well off they appear to be the neighborhood examples. Nice home, 3 late model cars and she doesn't work.....yet she's not totally happy. Some would probably look at her as being ungrateful.

But this proves something I've always heard, money can't buy everything, especially happiness. But it also shows(in this instance a woman) will sell themselves short. No one today marries without having sex. So she knew the sex wasn't all it could be.

Just from her conversation I have a feeling she's found what she was looking for sexually.

As for myself and I think most men. If a woman cannot get me off there is no relationship. I've only heard of women enduring relationships that were not sexually fulfilling. An personally if I can't satisfy a woman I will not stay with her. Its not fair to the woman.

 

[will_right]

For ME this would not be a simple answer..in a way it's sorta shallow..i say this for many reasons. When i was under 30 it matterd more..or maybe i wasn't as mature as i am now. As you get older/Mature it doesn't matter as much, i'll explain...ok say i have a woman thats a true sweetheart..loving kind ALL that..BUT her head game is weak and seems un teachable or at least that she's not that interested in learning how to suck me the was i want it done and as offten..would i leave her? HELL naw. I've had women in the past that the sex was GREAT..but mentally she was weak. For me it matters YES..but hey im not gona dump "otherwise good woman" for a woman with a greater sex drive or because she sucks my dick better na mean. Hell alota people would be changing lovers every time they dated someone with better sex. When or if your ass is ever sick or in the hospital you never think of the one that sexed you the best or the most..you ALWAYS think of that one that showed you true love or the most care..well thats just my 2cents on the matter.

 

[Mo-Better]

I don't think it's always that. I never had problems achieving physical pleasure with my ex, but there was always maybe that spark missing. It's hard to explain. It's like we both enjoyed the meal, but he was a vegan and I was a carnivore so both of us never quite got what we had a taste for out the meal (at least I didn't).That totally was not his fault though. We were just really really different in that way. And like Follow said, you can only talk somethings to a point. At a certain point, if you are missing some chemistry you can't "teach" that. He is great, smart, and funny guy and that's why I stayed with him as long as I did. Ofcourse....I did lose my mind at some point, but that's all in the past.

How do you come up with these analogies? But I do agree.

say what now?

You said "go to the others?" Are you saying you would rather maintain that relationship? Albeit not totally satisfying and "go to the others" for sexual satisfaction? That's a cold approach that probably won't end well.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

This is a pretty cool idea for a thread, Mo.


I hope we can avoid the simplistic idea that you have to choose between a partner that's a good sexual partner and one that's good in everything else. Sometimes the lack of sexual chemistry is a sign to move on and that that partner is not a good pick.

 

[Izayoi]

This is a pretty cool idea for a thread, Mo.


I hope we can avoid the simplistic idea that you have to choose between a partner that's a good sexual partner and one that's good in everything else. Sometimes the lack of sexual chemistry is a sign to move on and that that partner is not a good pick.

Absolutely Dave and I think that's a lot of women's fears. I think this is exacerbated by the fact women can have great sex and sexual chemistry with aint shit dudes. Kind of like men always say the best pussy is crazy pussy.

Once those ideas settle in then people start acting in ways that just reinforce their confirmation biases.

 

[followup]

How do you come up with these analogies? But I do agree.

You said "go to the others?" Are you saying you would rather maintain that relationship? Albeit not totally satisfying and "go to the others" for sexual satisfaction? That's a cold approach that probably won't end well.

Nooooooooooooooooo I meant go to others for whom it's not as big a deal. You won't catch me doing that. A man has to have it all for me--looks, career, good in bed and personality.

This is a pretty cool idea for a thread, Mo.

I hope we can avoid the simplistic idea that you have to choose between a partner that's a good sexual partner and one that's good in everything else. Sometimes the lack of sexual chemistry is a sign to move on and that that partner is not a good pick.

Yes, the two are not mutually exclusive.

 

[Mo-Better]

This is a pretty cool idea for a thread, Mo.

I hope we can avoid the simplistic idea that you have to choose between a partner that's a good sexual partner and one that's good in everything else. Sometimes the lack of sexual chemistry is a sign to move on and that that partner is not a good pick.

Unfortunately this is the type crap (some) of our parents and definitely grandparents did. People who back in the day committed to each other truly committed. They stayed together sexual chemistry no sexual chemistry it didn't matter to them. In spite of personality flaws they stayed some even in abusive relationships.

However this is something I've seen women do. They hook up with someone based upon perceived earning potential. Looks and personality well they'll work on it.

But its not just women we do the same stupid shit just for different reasons. Meet a woman have sex, boast she's the one don't even know if she can cook. But we know if she snores or not.

Now what are we looking for in a mate? Is leaving the toilet set up that much of an issue? We don't complain when you leave it down. Was our grandparents right? Are we looking for the perfect mate? Someone who doesn't really exist? Did our grandparents know better? Humans are anything but perfect. Why are so few black people getting married today?

Sorry for the rant but again if a good sex life is important and your mate just lacks in their ability or willingness to try harder or do better what do you do? Do you really dump a overall good person?

 

[Mo-Better]

Nooooooooooooooooo I meant go to others for whom it's not as big a deal. You won't catch me doing that. A man has to have it all for me--looks, career, good in bed and personality.

Yes, the two are not mutually exclusive.

OK!

 

[followup]

Is leaving the toilet set up that much of an issue? We don't complain when you leave it down.

Was just thinking about this at work the other night....

Leaving the toilet seat up is DEFINITELY a problem if you have bad aim or if you don't wipe the porcelain off after you spray nasty men nobody wants to walk in to the toilet and see yellow all over the place. That's why men's restrooms always have that foul smell.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Was just thinking about this at work the other night....

Leaving the toilet seat up is DEFINITELY a problem if you have bad aim or if you don't wipe the porcelain off after you spray nasty men nobody wants to walk in to the toilet and see yellow all over the place. That's why men's restrooms always have that foul smell.

Then what's excuse for women's restrooms? Just disgusting, filthy places.

 

[followup]

Then what's excuse for women's restrooms? Just disgusting, filthy places.

Now you're just being silly

 

[Mo-Better]

Was just thinking about this at work the other night....

Leaving the toilet seat up is DEFINITELY a problem if you have bad aim or if you don't wipe the porcelain off after you spray nasty men nobody wants to walk in to the toilet and see yellow all over the place. That's why men's restrooms always have that foul smell.

I'm not getting into the aspects of yellow and smells in rest/bathrooms. My point is complaints today exist on some very minor issues. Is it that much trouble to look before you sit? Lower the seat yourself? I grew up with a mother, grandmother and an adopted sister and not once did anyone complain about the toilet seat being up. I think you've been spoiled.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Now you're just being silly

No sister, I speak as someone who had to clean them as a young man. Disgusting, filthy places.

 

[GET YOU HOT]

It better be an even exchange, my energy/his energy vice versa. Test the waters, before you get into something, that will ultimately be unsatifactory. I rely on body language, eye contact first, then the rest will follow and hopefully fall into place. If it's not a good passionate exchange why bother? You have to feel, the energy(and touch his penis, to see if it's hard)and follow suit. Trust and communication are paramount...

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Ok this is how i'm hearing this. You get with person. As in you meet up, do the regular stuff people do now adays. And then you wind up "going together" Seeing each other whatever you want to call it. Going steady. You get married, blah blah. THEN Out of the blue you're like, yeah they don't satisfy me sexually. I'm out.

That's what i'm hearing.

My question is, why didn't you notice they didn't satisfy you sexually 2 times after having sex? If they didn't satisfy you then. I would hope after the first time you have sex, you notice this is not to your liking and you're like, "Yeah the sex isn't that hot to me, and it's REALLY SUPER IMPORTANT to me. So we can't be together. I'm out."

I mean what is it that's being said here? Is this a short term question or a long term question?

The neighbor in question. If she's happy, everywhere but the bedroom? You're supposed to give up the life you have just so you can get your rocks off? I do not vote for this. I do not vote for this at all. And i actually feel that a person who does this is 1 of the lowest forms of beings. The height of selfishness and probably should just be put to death.

Yeah i said it.

I have seen people like this. In real life. And my disdain for them is great.

 

[followup]

I'm not getting into the aspects of yellow and smells in rest/bathrooms. My point is complaints today exist on some very minor issues. Is it that much trouble to look before you sit? Lower the seat yourself? I grew up with a mother, grandmother and an adopted sister and not once did anyone complain about the toilet seat being up. I think you've been spoiled.

putting down the seat is only a bug deal if you are a sprayer. otherwise it's no big deal

And you better not complain

No sister, I speak as someone who had to clean them as a young man. Disgusting, filthy places.

well public restrooms are filthy in general, but men'd bathrooms take it to a whole other level

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Ok this is how i'm hearing this. You get with person. As in you meet up, do the regular stuff people do now adays. And then you wind up "going together" Seeing each other whatever you want to call it. Going steady. You get married, blah blah. THEN Out of the blue you're like, yeah they don't satisfy me sexually. I'm out.

That's what i'm hearing.

My question is, why didn't you notice they didn't satisfy you sexually 2 times after having sex? If they didn't satisfy you then. I would hope after the first time you have sex, you notice this is not to your liking and you're like, "Yeah the sex isn't that hot to me, and it's REALLY SUPER IMPORTANT to me. So we can't be together. I'm out."

I mean what is it that's being said here? Is this a short term question or a long term question?

The neighbor in question. If she's happy, everywhere but the bedroom? You're supposed to give up the life you have just so you can get your rocks off? I do not vote for this. I do not vote for this at all. And i actually feel that a person who does this is 1 of the lowest forms of beings. The height of selfishness and probably should just be put to death.

Yeah i said it.

I have seen people like this. In real life. And my disdain for them is great.

Is that what you're hearing?

Let me make my point crystal.
Most people don't wait until they're married to have sex so you know if this person is doing for you or not long before you exchange "I do"s. Figure out if that's something you can deal with long term, as in "forever" and be brutally honest with yourself. If it is, stick with them. If not, cut them loose and maybe both of you will find people you do have better chemistry with. You might not be doing it for them either.

well public restrooms are filthy in general, but men'd bathrooms take it to a whole other level

I love stupid, completely unrelated tangents sometimes.
Not in my experience, sister. You women need to call a meeting or something about your facilities.