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A Real Man.

Upgrade Dave said:
I agree with that to a certain degree. Part of it is also not knowing any better and not having anyone expect any better. If I can half-ass it with you, why should I change? If, as a woman or a man, you don't expect your spouse to do shit, don't be mad when they live up to expectations. That's why I hate the idea of romantic "unconditional love". It sets people up to be abused in some way by the other person because they should love them no matter what.
As a big fan of marriage, I always tell my friends and family before they do to imagine that thing the person they're in a relationship with does that annoys you to no end and imagine them doing it forever. That's reality. If you marry someone who cheats or is bad with money or abusive or whatever, marrying them only tells them that it's okay and you really don't mind that much.
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I see ladies getting with these types of guys all the time and i do understand how powerful lonliness is. I do understand that not seeing a good example and believing in a good example can lead to really bad decisions.

But when it comes to men, i just believe you should expect better. When my husband and i got together i already had an ideal of what i wanted. I'd been studying this type of thing for quite some time. As my upbringing was kind of messed up and i knew what WASN'T good. I knew what i DIDN'T want. So when i came upon him who was everything that i saw wrong in men before. He was like a beacon of light in a world full of dark ones. He stood out like no one else.

In my travels over the club i've come to understand concepts like HONOR and DUTY. And fulfilling those things at high costs to personal gain. Or personal desire.

And then i see our people and i'm like damn...ain't we supposed to be better? Arent' we supposed to strive to be better? I may not call you a MAN...But i can at least see you TRYING. Trying to be mediocre ain't the same either. Maintaining ain't the same either. When i hear from guys "hey i maintain" i'm like what? What do you mean Maintain? Since when is maintaining where you are currently a GOOD thing unless you're already perfect?

"Hey i got a job....i maintain". I don't want maintain. I want EXCEL. I want CONSTANTLY STRIVE for better.
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
lol Nah uhmmmmm No. Getcha ayuss out MY kitchen. You gonna mess something up. I have it just how i like it. I like it how i like it cleaned. This is woman's work. Go outside, if you can't find nothing to do go somewhere. Don't be over here till it's time to get your plate. lol :lol:
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See, this is why you and I wouldn't be a good fit:D. With the guy outside cutting the grass and you doing all the domestic stuff, I'd be bored out of my mind. I would need a project to occupy me because do NOT do well with too much idle time. My wife does most of the cooking but I do all the cleaning afterward.
It's funny because I HATE for her to come in and try to clean the kitchen on the weekends when she's off and feeling domestic. I have to literally go in another room or I'll nitpick her to death. I will get up early Saturday and Sunday mornings just to make sure it's clean so she can cook breakfast and so I don't have to watch her load the dishwasher wrong.

Legacy_Infinity said:
I see ladies getting with these types of guys all the time and i do understand how powerful lonliness is. I do understand that not seeing a good example and believing in a good example can lead to really bad decisions.

But when it comes to men, i just believe you should expect better. When my husband and i got together i already had an ideal of what i wanted. I'd been studying this type of thing for quite some time. As my upbringing was kind of messed up and i knew what WASN'T good. I knew what i DIDN'T want. So when i came upon him who was everything that i saw wrong in men before. He was like a beacon of light in a world full of dark ones. He stood out like no one else.
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If more women expected better from men, they would get better men. "Ay shawty" should not be an acceptable greeting but it is to too many women and, to a man, if it ain't broke, why fix it?


And then i see our people and i'm like damn...ain't we supposed to be better? Arent' we supposed to strive to be better? I may not call you a MAN...But i can at least see you TRYING. Trying to be mediocre ain't the same either. Maintaining ain't the same either. When i hear from guys "hey i maintain" i'm like what? What do you mean Maintain? Since when is maintaining where you are currently a GOOD thing unless you're already perfect?

"Hey i got a job....i maintain". I don't want maintain. I want EXCEL. I want CONSTANTLY STRIVE for better.
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No argument here. Have at least some ambition, whatever position you're in. I know people who have worked the same job for years and they're still in the same spot, no promotions or anything and it's their own choice. I'm dumbfounded at these people.


This is fun, LI. Get them other women back on here. You and melon are nice and all but dammit, this is SOL, where the women are supposed to be!
 
Upgrade Dave said:
See, this is why you and I wouldn't be a good fit:D. With the guy outside cutting the grass and you doing all the domestic stuff, I'd be bored out of my mind. I would need a project to occupy me because do NOT do well with too much idle time. My wife does most of the cooking but I do all the cleaning afterward.
It's funny because I HATE for her to come in and try to clean the kitchen on the weekends when she's off and feeling domestic. I have to literally go in another room or I'll nitpick her to death. I will get up early Saturday and Sunday mornings just to make sure it's clean so she can cook breakfast and so I don't have to watch her load the dishwasher wrong.
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I wash clothes, i clean house, i cook, i decorate. He had his office that was HIS. His man cave. I never cleaned in there, i never said he could or could not do anything in HIS room. He didn't come out of his room or mess with anything in the house. If i bought new furniture he was asked if i could, i.e. if we had the money too. He'd say yay or nay. And if nay he'd get the funds for me to do so eventually. I'm a chef the kitchen is my office. My computers are here. This is my operating room. I don't come to your room and muddle stuff around you don't come to mine. The rest of the house besides the kids rooms were mine. He built this hut for me. His room in the hut is his room. He has his computers up in there and all that other happy stuff, that made him happy. His piles and piles of comics. Shelves of books, pizza boxes he done snuck in the house. in HIS room. OUTSIDE...was ALL his. His shed for all his tools and lawnmowers. The garage...ALL HIS. All his stuff and junk was in there. I have a quarter acre garden in the back where i grow our veggies and herbs and stuff he even takes care of that. I'm a lady, what the heck i'm supposed to be outside sweatin and gettin all dirty and stuff for? :)

Hey if you and your woman can work with you interefering in her kitchen....*whisperin*idon'tseehow*whisperin* I'm happy for ya'll! lol My wife doesn't even come in the kitchen. The only 1 who's allowed in here with me during surgery time is my oldest daughter.


If more women expected better from men, they would get better men. "Ay shawty" should not be an acceptable greeting but it is to too many women and, to a man, if it ain't broke, why fix it?
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I despise this speech. I'm used to it. I understand it. But i still hate it. My husband when he mentored part of his lessons was to teach boys how to properly approach a lady. The girls i mentored Got pretty much the same instruction. Based on telling them what they were WORTH. My whole sermon is based on "expect better".


No argument here. Have at least some ambition, whatever position you're in. I know people who have worked the same job for years and they're still in the same spot, no promotions or anything and it's their own choice. I'm dumbfounded at these people.
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I disagree with that whole thing. Where is your pride? Where is your growth? I can always think of something bigger and better to do. If we owned a club i want it to be bigger, more exciting. Better. If we owned a restaurant i wanted it to be BIGGER better exciting! Have the best food! Where's your GUMPTION!? Alot of it i believe still can be traced to single motherhood.

This is fun, LI. Get them other women back on here. You and melon are nice and all but dammit, this is SOL, where the women are supposed to be!
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I didn't know SOL was here till last month. This is my husbands name. He's been on BGOL for years downloading stuff. I would get on and read things, download comics for him if he was busy. Download tv shows and things like that. Get movies for myself. But i never knew this forum was even here. And alot of times i think women get run off from places like this because of the drama.

Arguing and fighting over things that don't even matter. And sometimes some women don't just have time to respond to things.
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
I wash clothes, i clean house, i cook, i decorate. He had his office that was HIS. His man cave. I never cleaned in there, i never said he could or could not do anything in HIS room. He didn't come out of his room or mess with anything in the house. If i bought new furniture he was asked if i could, i.e. if we had the money too. He'd say yay or nay. And if nay he'd get the funds for me to do so eventually. I'm a chef the kitchen is my office. My computers are here. This is my operating room. I don't come to your room and muddle stuff around you don't come to mine. The rest of the house besides the kids rooms were mine. He built this hut for me. His room in the hut is his room. He has his computers up in there and all that other happy stuff, that made him happy. His piles and piles of comics. Shelves of books, pizza boxes he done snuck in the house. in HIS room. OUTSIDE...was ALL his. His shed for all his tools and lawnmowers. The garage...ALL HIS. All his stuff and junk was in there. I have a quarter acre garden in the back where i grow our veggies and herbs and stuff he even takes care of that. I'm a lady, what the heck i'm supposed to be outside sweatin and gettin all dirty and stuff for? :)
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You know I got a man cave:D. Two actually: one a room in the house, the other parked between my wife's thighs (I couldn't resist that, sorry:D).
Not piles and piles of comics???? Damn, now I'm really starting to hate I never got to meet your husband. I do love to meet other grown geeks:D.
I actually do most of the in-house maintenance during the week so she can come home from work and do two things: cook (not my thing most of the time) and admire me:D. Even when I had three jobs, that was how it was, it was just easier for us and our schedules. But that yard stuff, naw sister. I don't hire the guy who cuts the grass, she does. When I did, she kept hire someone else so I left it alone. And when I wash my hands of something, that's it.

Hey if you and your woman can work with you interefering in her kitchen....*whisperin*idon'tseehow*whisperin* I'm happy for ya'll! lol My wife doesn't even come in the kitchen. The only 1 who's allowed in here with me during surgery time is my oldest daughter.
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It's only her kitchen sometimes, it's damn sure mine most of the time.:D But she can decorate this house with whatever she wants, I don't care. She can bring in all the plants she wants (that I end up taking care of). She can have almost whatever kind of furniture she wants. But my weight room where I keep my workout equipment and my comics is off limits.
When I see couples, married or not, who don't understand or respect each other's boundaries, I :smh: and count down to the dissolution to their relationship.




I despise this speech. I'm used to it. I understand it. But i still hate it. My husband when he mentored part of his lessons was to teach boys how to properly approach a lady. The girls i mentored Got pretty much the same instruction. Based on telling them what they were WORTH. My whole sermon is based on "expect better".
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It's a speech that shouldn't be needed but is. I've seen 'em. If that stuff didn't work, dudes wouldn't do it.
 
Upgrade Dave said:
You know I got a man cave:D. Two actually: one a room in the house, the other parked between my wife's thighs (I couldn't resist that, sorry:D).
Not piles and piles of comics???? Damn, now I'm really starting to hate I never got to meet your husband. I do love to meet other grown geeks:D.
I actually do most of the in-house maintenance during the week so she can come home from work and do two things: cook (not my thing most of the time) and admire me:D. Even when I had three jobs, that was how it was, it was just easier for us and our schedules. But that yard stuff, naw sister. I don't hire the guy who cuts the grass, she does. When I did, she kept hire someone else so I left it alone. And when I wash my hands of something, that's it.
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Piles and piles and piles. And Piles. .......and piles..............and piles. They are stacked up about 5ft tall along his walls. They're all over the floor. They're just all over the place. IN boxes here. In boxes there. We used to own a comic book store. Right now it's me and the wifey's and we're so inept with things, we're all very girly. We have had to ask our male relatives to come do alot of things for us. None of us want to touch greasy wrenches and i don't even have a clue how to open the hood on my car. We were at the mall yesterday and this guy needed a boost. I knew i had cables. But goddamn me low and behold the battery was missing! He said it was in the trunk, i was like wth? Stop with your shenanigans. I thought he was trying to be fishy. Trying to be slick cuz we were a bunch of women and he was ...i don't know. I don't trust males. But anyway to make a long story...He went into the trunk and there it was. The battery. I said when they hell they put batteries in trunks now! I'd never have guessed that crap in a million years. I'd have just been stranded somewhere waiting on hubb to come get me.

We don't even know how to start a lawnmower. Wifey broke the disposal and it was smoking. We thought it was going to blow up.

I've never been 1 of those women who did that whole "i don't need a man" bit. I don't believe that's fundamentally true. We do need a man. For all intents and purposes when it comes to desire for women, i'm a 9 on that scale. But i would never completely dismiss the idea that men aren't needed. They're a part of the balance of nature. They are very much needed. I believe in making a man feel like 1. You go do your manly thing. It's our balance. I trip people out when i say to them i am not for lesbian parenting. Gay parenting.

I find it to be a lack of balance. And everything you should strive for balance. A yin and the Yang with a lil bit of both in each.
 
kwazdog said:
A "real man" is self identified. He lives his life how he chooses. He could be rich or poor a CEO, vagabond, Lawyer, postman, artist or farmer. He aspires to keep up with his own "joneses" not any one else's ideals or social expectations. A real man is a free man. He requires little to no validation from others but knows how to appreciate and "take care of" those that have his best interest in mind. He marches to the beat of his own drum while those around him follow or complement his tempo harmoniously with ease. He is a man ruled buy reason not ego or vanity.


A "real man" is relative to the personal ideals of said "real man".




My 2 pesos...;)
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Thats the most real I have heard on the subject sir :yes: GOOD JOB!
 
Woah...I got to come back to this.




Wait...where is that sean thread about the consciousness? I actually had the chance to hear that vid...
 
I know this much, I dont need a woman or man to tell me that I am a real man! Anyone who knows me can tell you that much!:cool: And i'm a warrior too! Lol!
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
Then those women aren't for him. And he needs to change his criteria for what he sees a "Woman" as. I personally find those kind of women childish and naive. I call it the "some day my prince will come" Syndrome. No matter how good a guy is. She thinks someone is out there better. Alot of decent guys will pass her by and she will let them go because "Some day my prince will come". Disney....Been fucking up relationships since 1934
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I agree with this and many things (not all) of what both you and Upgrade have had to say in your back-and-forth.

LI, in one of your posts, you said something that I think a lot of men and women, but women in particular, don't realize that makes their relationships with the opposite sex falter from the very beginning. You said that loneliness is powerful. I've always believed that if one cannot be secure and comfortable in being by themselves then they will not add much that is healthy to a relationship. The two individuals that come together in a relationship should be complete human beings, especially spiritually (knowing their place in this world), emotionally, and mentally. Sure, there are going to be weaknesses that another person is stronger at, but that shouldn't destroy the relationship if one individual doesn't have one of these traits.

Loneliness is one of those things that I think shows how grounded you are in knowing yourself and being able to handle adversity when no one is available to help you.

Shakespeare once said, "Sweetest are the fruits of adversity." Once someone is able to get through these things, they come out better individuals and partners. I think the ability to be patient and comfortable through loneliness is one of those things that facilitates growth in an individual.

Just my $0.02 cents...
 
I really think that whole "be comfortable with yourself" thing is unnatural. Because of what it implies. It has to have a different wording i think. Humans are a social animal. Humans need to be mated. And that feeling is expressed through lonliness. So overcoming that i take that to mean overcoming that natural instinct to BE with someone. And sheesh. We know how hard it is to overcome our instincts right?

The 2nd part of what you said when it comes to a man i think is very vital. He has to know how he will overcome that adversity, alone. If he's strong enough to do it alone? He's strong enough to handle a wife and family when adversity faces them.
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
I really think that whole "be comfortable with yourself" thing is unnatural. Because of what it implies. It has to have a different wording i think. Humans are a social animal. Humans need to be mated. And that feeling is expressed through lonliness. So overcoming that i take that to mean overcoming that natural instinct to BE with someone. And sheesh. We know how hard it is to overcome our instincts right?

The 2nd part of what you said when it comes to a man i think is very vital. He has to know how he will overcome that adversity, alone. If he's strong enough to do it alone? He's strong enough to handle a wife and family when adversity faces them.
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It's not unnatural when we all go through it. Family members die, loved ones leave us or vice versa, friends come and go...it's a part of life.

Does it have to be for a prolonged period of time? Not at all. However, the faster one is capable of coping by themselves and not HAVING or NEEDING to depend upon someone else for emotional support and comfort, the better that individual is and the better an asset they are to their community and society as a whole...even spiritually when considering universal spirituality.

In my late 20's now and my very short time on this earth, I've lost a lot...love ones, friends, enemies, pets, and abstract shit as well that I know won't and are incapable of coming back.

Going through adversity and loss has made me the person I am today, however you may view me. Either way, it's made me wiser, contemplative, self-actualizing, and a self-sufficient individual that understands the value of others but also understands the power and ability to have peace within myself.

I've learned that loss is a sad, destructive, yet beautiful and mysterious thing...and so is loneliness...
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
Light skinndeded dudes can't be real men. That's now been added. Sorry P.

lmao
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Child please, lol, i always handle my business! Keep believing the stereo types. :cool: I have proven many peeps wrong, and I am not a light skinndeded dude, i am black! :D 6' 2" 228 all man!
 
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Legacy_Infinity said:
lol i said that to get a laugh out of you.
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:hmm::lol: alright i got u, that's a touchy subject for me, I've have to prove myself a couple of times with my ex brother in law thinking I was pretty boy and wouldn't do nothing after he hit my sister and threaten my family, but needless to say after i mopped the floor and walls with his ass, that never came out of his mouth again:D And he was taller and darker but color dont mean shit!:cool: And another guy found out the hard way too but just never underestimate the next man because he doesn't speak with his mouth!:) Have a nice day!
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
Piles and piles and piles. And Piles. .......and piles..............and piles. They are stacked up about 5ft tall along his walls. They're all over the floor. They're just all over the place. IN boxes here. In boxes there. We used to own a comic book store. Right now it's me and the wifey's and we're so inept with things, we're all very girly. We have had to ask our male relatives to come do alot of things for us. None of us want to touch greasy wrenches and i don't even have a clue how to open the hood on my car. We were at the mall yesterday and this guy needed a boost. I knew i had cables. But goddamn me low and behold the battery was missing! He said it was in the trunk, i was like wth? Stop with your shenanigans. I thought he was trying to be fishy. Trying to be slick cuz we were a bunch of women and he was ...i don't know. I don't trust males. But anyway to make a long story...He went into the trunk and there it was. The battery. I said when they hell they put batteries in trunks now! I'd never have guessed that crap in a million years. I'd have just been stranded somewhere waiting on hubb to come get me.
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:lol::lol::lol:

We don't even know how to start a lawnmower. Wifey broke the disposal and it was smoking. We thought it was going to blow up.
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:lol::lol:I already told you, I don't cut grass. Did it as a kid and now I'm grooming my son to cut my mother's grass (not mine, The Wife pays a guy to do a good job and have I no patience for amateurs)

OnSlaught said:

I agree with this and many things (not all) of what both you and Upgrade have had to say in your back-and-forth.

LI, in one of your posts, you said something that I think a lot of men and women, but women in particular, don't realize that makes their relationships with the opposite sex falter from the very beginning. You said that loneliness is powerful. I've always believed that if one cannot be secure and comfortable in being by themselves then they will not add much that is healthy to a relationship. The two individuals that come together in a relationship should be complete human beings, especially spiritually (knowing their place in this world), emotionally, and mentally. Sure, there are going to be weaknesses that another person is stronger at, but that shouldn't destroy the relationship if one individual doesn't have one of these traits.

Loneliness is one of those things that I think shows how grounded you are in knowing yourself and being able to handle adversity when no one is available to help you.

Shakespeare once said, "Sweetest are the fruits of adversity." Once someone is able to get through these things, they come out better individuals and partners. I think the ability to be patient and comfortable through loneliness is one of those things that facilitates growth in an individual.

Just my $0.02 cents...
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That might be worth a whole .04, bruh:D
 
Upgrade Dave said:
:lol::lol::lol:



:lol::lol:I already told you, I don't cut grass. Did it as a kid and now I'm grooming my son to cut my mother's grass (not mine, The Wife pays a guy to do a good job and have I no patience for amateurs)




That might be worth a whole .04, bruh:D
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Well that's why we have sons. To get them to do all those things we can't do :) You still should cut your mommy's yard tho! Awww what a good son! And she will even make you a cake! With a big glass of milk. And you sit there and be all smilin like you used to be when you were a wee laddy!
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
Well that's why we have sons. To get them to do all those things we can't do :) You still should cut your mommy's yard tho! Awww what a good son! And she will even make you a cake! With a big glass of milk. And you sit there and be all smilin like you used to be when you were a wee laddy!
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:lol::lol::lol:
That's how I know you don't know my momma:D. The mother from "That's My Mama" she ain't.

As you said

that's why we have sons
I'm going to show him how to cut it one time then it's his.
 
OnSlaught said:
It's not unnatural when we all go through it. Family members die, loved ones leave us or vice versa, friends come and go...it's a part of life.

Does it have to be for a prolonged period of time? Not at all. However, the faster one is capable of coping by themselves and not HAVING or NEEDING to depend upon someone else for emotional support and comfort, the better that individual is and the better an asset they are to their community and society as a whole...even spiritually when considering universal spirituality.

In my late 20's now and my very short time on this earth, I've lost a lot...love ones, friends, enemies, pets, and abstract shit as well that I know won't and are incapable of coming back.

Going through adversity and loss has made me the person I am today, however you may view me. Either way, it's made me wiser, contemplative, self-actualizing, and a self-sufficient individual that understands the value of others but also understands the power and ability to have peace within myself.

I've learned that loss is a sad, destructive, yet beautiful and mysterious thing...and so is loneliness...
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Cool post. I don't believe that just because we share experiences doesn't mean those experiences are natural or un. They're just shared happenstances.

Once you convince yourself not to feel loneliness. To be cut off from intimate human nature? That's seperating yourself from a component of emotion you're going to need.
 
Upgrade Dave said:
:lol::lol::lol:
That's how I know you don't know my momma:D. The mother from "That's My Mama" she ain't.

As you said

that's why we have sons
I'm going to show him how to cut it one time then it's his.
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Dang. So moms didn't bake you cakes and make you milk n coooookies? My mom didn't either lol.

But i do for my kids. :yes:
 
What we do with grades is we give awards and stuff like that. Various picks of what we do as a family. And stuff like that. If you make straight A's or you get a really good grade on this test or whatever, you get your choice of dinner. Or some kind of award.
 
For me it is very simple; I just want to see that he is handling his business nothing more, nothing less.
 
A real man takes care of himself and isn't dependant on his mother or his friends or his woman. A real man takes care of his seed and doesn't just leave it to the mother regardless of his feelings for her. A real man is careful with his seed and looks to avoid ending up in that situation to begin with. A real man demands respect from others and is respectful of others as well. A real man is a rare thing because real men are made, not born.

Too many parents either instilling the wrong values in their sons or not instilling anything in their sons and allowing the streets to raise them. Too many women accepting bullshit from these same men. How do you fuck a dude who is 25 with 6 kids that he doesn't take care of? How do you fuck a dude who is grown and living with his mother? How do you fuck a dude who doesn't have a job or isn't in school?

Men do what they HAVE to do or what they feel that they HAVE to do. Women for the most part do what they feel that they SHOULD do. Men have to be taught to strive and to want more. If they aren't and women constantly reward them for their trifflingness they aren't going to be in any rush to change. If women stopped fucking men the likes of which I mentioned above we would have more more striving to be real men.
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
Light skinndeded dudes can't be real men. That's now been added. Sorry P.

lmao
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They get tagged with the pretty boy image and people think they are soft. They are about, it just like anyone else. Fortunately, everything is not based on the color of your skin, but you can create opportunities where someone yields to their racist views. Exploit it...
My Bros are both light skinned, they have things squared away with their life...
 
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Legacy_Infinity said:
What does he value? Who does he value? Why does he value it? What are his strengths and his weaknesses. Devotion to his beliefs. Strength of character. How courageous he is to stand his own no matter what when he believes he is right. When he falls does he get back up? Or does he wallow in self pity and loathing? How hard does he have to be hit to break him? And if it doesn't break him....what does he learn? Can he truly love? Can he keep his word? What does honor mean to him? When he makes a promise can i believe in it without a question?

Does he love his family? How devoted is he to his childrens welfare? growth? What about his extended family? Will he stop and really help an old lady across the street? Is he admirable? Is he giving? Is he honest? When i fall will he pick me up? How does he motivate me? Is he strong enough to carry me? Is he an upstanding man to whom others can look to for guidance? Wisdom?

Does he value me? What would he do for me? Is he willing to sacrifice for my happiness? Is he willing to defend me? How far is he willing to go to protect me? Us? His family? His friends? His neighborhood his people?

Can he remain calm in the heat of battle? Is he compassionate towards his enemies? does he seek understanding? Is he kind? Considerate? Does he hate black women? Does he view black women as the queen mothers of our species? Does he seek to help those who don't realize that themselves? What does he do for the young men of his community?

How well does he understand human nature? How do you feel about humanity as a whole? Do you feel it's your duty to do what you can for them?

Do i have to tell you to mow the lawn? Trim the hedges? Put gas in my car?

Do you remember important dates to me? Your children?

When you leave this world what have you done? What impression have you left on people? On your community? Who's life have you impacted in a positive way? How many people are working because of you? How many peoples lives have changed for the better because of you?

Many i presume/assume on this board would call my husband a simp. He loved his wife and kids. He loved his community and his people. He did everything he could for all of us. I loved that simp. And i try to be like him at all times. That's how he inspired me. So that's really what a real man is to me. My husband was all those things.

And he allowed me to be me. He didn't sweat the small things. He trusted me and i was able to trust him completely.

I disagree with a statement that was made about a woman can't say what a real man is. And if she does she hasn't seen one. Why is this said?
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its a totally subjective term, used to label men who meet the approval of the person doing the labeling.

ironically, I think at the core of the most common concept, is the idea of independence. meaning a "real man" is not a follower, he stands on his own two at all times and deals with his responsibilities and the consequences of his decisions ( good or bad), on his own. he's secure with himself, he owes no one, and no one gets to judge or define him.
 
its a totally subjective term, used to label men who meet the approval of the person doing the labeling.

ironically, I think at the core of the most common concept, is the idea of independence. meaning a "real man" is not a follower, he stands on his own two at all times and deals with his responsibilities and the consequences of his decisions ( good or bad), on his own. he's secure with himself, he owes no one, and no one gets to judge or define him.
Click to expand...

These are true. And so much more.
 
A real man is one that has being produced by the fusion of male and female sex cells and grows into the typical structural aspects of a man . possessing balls and a shaft to procreate as he chooses. He is made up of flesh and bones and mostly water and not some industrial type polymer or metallic derivative..he hasnt been altered by surgical methods to appear as a man..he just is


defining a real man to everyone's standard is impossible. Its clear the Original Poster has her own definition that she wants to convince all is right and true..but i cry foul

As a man grows and he learns to reconcile his past with his present..when he's able to connect his mind heart and soul so that he is really in touch with who he is and what he wants...then he has become REAL to himself ..a real man

as for the laundry list of thing women list that they think a real man should do, think feel etc ..nonesense....its mostly manual labor

tell me if a man was to build a robot to do all these chores for him, a robot to work and bring home the money, sophisticated enough to sense changes in you mood and is able to react in what ever way is defined as good or right in his programming .... would that make him less of a real man...

or would the robot be credited for being a real man:hmm:
 

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