Black Marriage Negotiations.....Why are Black Women single?
- Thread starter dHustla
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im from the west indies & costa rico............. i almost married an american black woman
! fts!
no more yankee wwomen!!!! she gotta come from an island somewhere or her family has too.....ie her moms / pops.....
That's different. You want a woman of a similar background as yourself. That's not the same as saying "I'm so particular there's not a single American-born woman who would be a good match for me."
And if a man decides to do that, and is happy, who the fuck has the right to say that he should have continued to deal with American women? If every time you go to McDonald's, there's rat shit in your burger, will you keep going to Mickey D's?
I'm for people doing what works for them but they should not pretend that the problem is always someone else and they're blameless. One or two shitty McDonald's doesn't make the entire franchise shitty, just that one or two. Personal relationships are far more complicated than that and, I repeat, the idea that any person is so special that not one American born person of the opposite sex is good enough for them is preposterous.
We know to reject the thinking of "All these Black men are no good" so why is it acceptable to think the same thing about Black women?
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I never said "all black women yadda yadda."
I did, however, tell myself, " this isn't working, let me try something different." I met my wife in college and then we were married later on. I saw how she interacted with her family, her circle of associates, her life goals and such and made my decisions from that point. I let people know, keep your options open. There's a vast world out there and way too little time to waste in one corner of the world.
And I'm not saying you personally did but that's the impression left when you say a man has to leave the country to find a suitable mate.
The world is a big place but everyone needs to know what baggage and bullshit they bring because that's going to be with them no matter where they go.
This is actually a good question.
When I think about it I have to be honest and say they may share similar views as I do in that the reward isn't as great as the risk.
Think about it, she can be the bottom bitch, down chick, or wonder woman and still get shitted on by no fault of her own and, in turn, have little or nothing to show for her own integrity.
Although, it can also be said that having integrity shouldn't be for the appeasement of others, but for the satisfaction of self.
I guess many women's faith has dwindled and may even have been lost entirely, resulting in them playing for personal stats instead of for the win.
If your teammates keep dropping the ball... can't blame you for becoming a ball-hog.
What's the best way to deal with one's own baggage?
Take a break? Then how do you get back in it?
Stay in the game, even winded? Then what do you do when you get left behind?
I seem to want to look at things analytically and find the cause in an effort to understand the issue and keep it from happening again.
Is this healthy?
Women are far more loyal than men. It just depends on how that loyalty is percieved and what it's based upon i think. Loyalty to a woman isn't the same as to males. In my view.
Be beautiful on the inside and outside.
Be handsome and strong, but gentle and compassionate.
There is alot of factors in "negotiations", the first dealing with personality. With that in mind, tactful and measured, meaningful interaction. Collect and foster, postitive attributes such as humility, maturity, faithfulness. A zero tolerance, should come, with the ability to discuss and to compromise a positve outcome...
Be handsome and strong, but gentle and compassionate.
There is alot of factors in "negotiations", the first dealing with personality. With that in mind, tactful and measured, meaningful interaction. Collect and foster, postitive attributes such as humility, maturity, faithfulness. A zero tolerance, should come, with the ability to discuss and to compromise a positve outcome...
I think your approach is very healthy but it can be offputting to people who feed off their emotions and don't think things through.
The way to address your own baggage is to at least acknowledge it and most people cannot be bothered to do that much. Once you do, you can figure out what's holding you back and what's working for you (all baggage is not negative).
Sorry, LI. I don't think either party will win the "Most Loyal Award". The treachery of many females is on par with just as many men.
SOME1 GET THIS BOY A PASTOR....HIS GIRL GOT HIM ON SOME VOODOO
LI's a female, D.
Never knew how much men have influence on women being single. Fact of the matter is that not all women are single. So look at all the good men you have passed up...every woman has passed up good men. And a lot of them. For every obama there are 200 or some women that rejected him. It's just sad cuz a woman's value decreases in a man's eyes the older she gets, so yall should be gettin ya shit together early on. Not in the mid 30's. Date white men, date women, date a blow up doll. Go and do something. If you are single...nobody's fault but your own. How would it look if I made a thread about 'why are black men single' and we named black women's obesity and kids out of wedlock...hmm.
Rick Ronson
Banned
Ok first question. Why am i supposed to like Obama? What about him is so stock and barrel for me to like? I don't get it.
Loyalty? I'll state how i view the word. In a discussion with males i had some time ago i believe it came across to me that you guys believe i as a woman am supposed to be "down" with you, and stay with you no matter what happens. No matter what goes down. I disagree with this. Completely. If that makes me disloyal then so be it.
I personally believe it's childish and foolish to expect this of someone. You don't want a woman, you want a dog.
I've seen women stand by disloyal males far more than the opposite. Women will suffer through some complete and total bullcrap much of it the males fault. And always the reason will be, loyalty. Now the reasons for this loyalty differ. But it's still there. So yeah i disagree.
Loyalty from a male? Is a tricky slope. From a man it's guaranteed. You can trust a man to follow his word to the tee. He's strong of principle.
Women who are disloyal are just trying to find a secure place to be in their lives. If you as her male are failing to provide her this security? How long is she supposed to stay loyal to you?
Nobody said you had to like him. As I was saying date a woman, white man or a blow up doll. But don't sit up here and say there aren't any good black men when you pass them up, or black women are single because of 'weak sauce black men'. If you're not attracted to the available good black men then that's not black men's fault. A better question I think is what's wrong with obama to where you wouldn't be attracted to him...
So I guess the notion of women being vengful and backstabbing was a myth huh? Those are not characteristics that are really associated with men. A woman is more likely to betray her own friend...shit women don't like women. What does that say?
backstabbing is a human trait, dunno how women got the stereotype as this when 2 dudes are epitomised for their traitory/backstabbbing... Judas (if you believe in the Bible) and Benedict Arnold
women are loyal, but just like men communicate different than women, women are loyal, in different ways...
if you ever been takin care of by a woman when you were sick, if you (or someone you know) has been in jail, and your chick held you down/was loyal to you (or were all them songs about ride-or-die chicks just myths and shit?) then it would be really...kinda bullshit to go on about this...
i'm not brownnosing, i'm just saying.
i've always assumed when women say "theres no good black men out there" they automagically mean "there's no good black men that are are attractive as i like 'em, that fit my standards/dealbreakers, and that will put up with my isht out there"
one thing i've learned is that attraction ain't the same for folks. on BGOL right now, i betchu there is some dude who loves him some Oprah, no lie. same goes for women. chicks dig what they dig, ya dig?
The way I read what snitch was saying is Michelle met Barack when she had the clear upperhand in every way (she was his mentor at one point) and supported him while he wrote books that weren't guaranteed to sell and pursued political goals that weren't guaranteed to be successful. I know there are plenty of women that do that for their husbands but there are plenty of other women that, if they met Barry Obama in 1990, would have let him walk on.
I'm not talking about being a doormat when I talk about loyalty.
But I reject the idea that somehow a woman's disloyalty has some deeper meaning while a man's doesn't.
I can say there's no good black men. Because if i don't see any, i can say they're not there. Just because you think a guy is "good". Doesn't make him GOOD in my eyes.
Obama lacks things i value in a man.
I disagree.
That's how life goes. Lots of guys let good women pass by too because her hair wasn't long enough, her skin wasn't light enough. It's just how it goes. I could care less. Michelle found her mate. He's her mate, POSSIBLY made especially just for her. That was her life path. It very well could have been that another woman at another time and place was passed up by Obama himself. Eh
I can gather the rejection of the idea. lol But like i believe we're different i beleive that's different as well.
That's how it goes but women who are sitting by themselves talking about "I want a Barack" need to check themselves because maybe their "Barack" came and went.
The problem I have with that is it bestows a certain level of humanity to women while taking it from men. We just fuck to be fucking while women are searching for a better situation. Believe me, there are plenty men who could be labeled "disloyal" who really just got fed up trying to make it work with their obstinate mate.
The idea that women are more noble than men is just a lie perpetrated by people who need women to buy their products.
or maybe he is on his way. Just because 2 people are good people it does not mean that they are compatible in a relationship. And the timing has to be right too.