With football season officially around the corner, I thought I'd do all of the women that listen to the Stews a huge favor. Here's your top 10 list to assure you a happy home during football season. Please ladies ... trust me on this!
10. When it comes to your to-do list, honey-do list, aggravate-your-Hubby or better-half list or whatever you call it ... put it on hold one hour prior to kickoff of the first game on Sunday and on Monday night. FYI -- games start at 1 p.m. eastern on Sundays and 8:30 p.m. eastern on Mondays.
9. Because Sundays and Mondays are off-limits for the next few months or until the Super Bowl is over in Feburary, pick a few days to go and do something you enjoy. Take a trip to the mall, go get a mani/pedi, go get your hair done, how about a spa day? You deserve it. Just remember, if you have kids you CANNOT schedule any of these on the aforementioned times on Monday or Sunday because you're responsible for the kids while Daddy gets his football on!
8. Being the wonderful mother, wifey, fiancé, girlfriend and/or baby momma that you are ... do NOT allow outsiders that you consider friends to throw a monkey wrench in Dad's seasonal football plans. When your best friend, cousin, aunt or even your Mom calls and talks about the anniversary dinner, baby dedication, surprise party or even the wedding they want you and the fam to attend, you MUST inform them ASAP that you'd love to attend ... but your better half can't make it. Please don't say why he can't make it, but if they insist on being nosey and wanting to know why, simply say he's at work, painting the hallway, or maybe he's re-roofing the house. Just have your man's back because you know how important this time of year is to him ... no questions asked!
7. Being the wonderful mother, wifey, fiancé', girlfriend and/or baby momma that you are ... when and if your anniversary or birthday rolls around during football season, think about your man. No, I'm not saying to automatically take the loss. I'm just saying do something someplace where there's a TV for your dude to watch. Maybe check to see if that day's game is important to him beforehand. If it's the Rams vs. Chiefs, you might get lucky. But if he still wants to watch it, please understand.
6. Know your boundaries and your relationship, ladies. Just because you're married doesn't mean that your guy really likes you and loves being around you. I have to tell the truth -- sometimes it's the cooking, the nootsi, or it's simply cheaper to keep her. If y'all are truly cool and in love, ask your dude if it's cool to watch the game with him. If he says no, don't even trip. If he says yes, immediately ask him the rules so you don't screw up and step on any toes. This could be great quality time if you abide by the rules, ladies. This could also end a good relationship if you break the rules ... so proceed with caution!
5. If your Lover Boy has a "Man Room" and he has guys over to enjoy some gridiron action, offer to assist him for his gathering. Because it's a long day of football, there's a lot that needs to be done. They'll need drinks, food, incense, trash bags and anything else you can think of to make the day special. If you're not a good cook, tell him you'll order the wings and pizza if required. Watching football is a hard job to do all day, ladies -- you don't want him hungry or dehydrated now do you?
4. If the crew does come over and your boo doesn't mind you being seen by the boys ... always look nice and presentable when you are around. No, ladies -- don't put on your stripper outfit (that's for later after the game, I'll get to that in a few). Just wear something that's cute so your man can feel proud that you're his woman. There's nothing worse than knowing you're going to have company and your old lady comes out looking like a hot mess. Have some damn pride ladies! Always make your man proud and happy that he wifed you up. And if you're not Wifey yet, this is a good way to get some points on that "I wanna be Wifey" card you should be putting together.
3. If you know the crew is coming over to enjoy the game, clean up the house ladies! And yes, this includes the Man Room if you're allowed to go down there, or up there, depending on where it is in the house. Think about it like this: if a burglary was about to take place late at night while you and your man were in bed, would you want him to tell you to go handle that? NO, you wouldn't -- protecting you is his job. He feels the same way about his crew seeing y'all's house! Keep that thing clean, especially during football season. Don't let your man's boys clown him due to a nasty Man Cave; so not cool.
2. If your man's birthday rolls around during this very special time of year, you have to do something football-related. Get him tickets to his favorite team's game. Find out where his team is playing on the road on his birthday and book him a trip. Now this trip will have to include flight, lodging, tickets and meal money while he's gone. Make him feel like he's traveling with the team ladies ... really triple SO (that means set some s*** out) for your dude. Refer back to No. 6 while putting this trip together. If y'all are really friends, then this could be a good couple's outing. But if y'all aren't cool like that, then you have to pay for a friend's road trip too. It's only right ladies -- you can't send him away by himself to go on a road trip if his team is playing out of town, can you? Trust me on this ladies, this will get you SEVERAL points with your Lover Man.
1. Lastly ladies, watching football all day isn't as easy as you think. We get emotionally invested in our teams, and it takes a lot out of us physically. Keep in mind that we've probably been on that Crown Royal pretty hard too so we might be a LIL tipsy. In the event that our team loses the ball game, console us please. Offer a massage or a special hot meal that you know we like and appreciate. Help us deal with the loss and encourage us that it will be better next time. Now if our team wins, celebrate with your guy ladies! Have on some nice lingerie so when the crew leaves if your dude has the energy, (remember that a day of football is tiring) he can get some good loving if he chooses. Trust me; he'll appreciate it and you for being so damn thoughtful.
There ya go ladies, the keys to a happy home during football season. Remember, life is a game and the better you play it, the better the results will be. Happy upcoming 2010-11 football season ... make it a special time for your man!
