Are men important in the black community?

[dHustla]

The 1 thing i never understand about men is their outright surprise. You "saved" her. And when it came time to stand by you, she flaked. You're surprised she didn't have the strength to do it.

I don't understand your point here. Please explain, and I'm not being sarcastic either.

We, as men, shouldn't expect the same from our women that we give them?

Or should we just not expect them to have the same strength?

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Ex. A woman, has been through life. She's struggled a bit and has some successes a bit. And when struggle came her way she overcame it with colors. She didn't balk. She didn't crumble she survived it and exceeded. No one came to her rescue. No man came to save her. She did it on her own. She made it on her own. This woman has strength. It's been developed usually by a father and mother(figure). And she has learned to get back up after being knocked down.

The saving of a woman? Is part and parcel to how alot of what's wrong with women right now. As it stands. We keep waiting around for someone toc ome save us and instead we learn nothing of our own. We don't learn to be complete people.

So the damsel in distress bit...while yeah it's beautiful and romantic and it gives the men something to feel good about themselves. It doesn't help. And it doesn't build up character in a woman.

So no, i don't feel that you should be surprised when trouble comes knocking on your door and you're with a chick and she can't hack it. I think it's definitely not to your benefit to be with someone who you've had to save who has never had to stand on their own and make it through hard times alone.

 

[dHustla]

Ex. A woman, has been through life. She's struggled a bit and has some successes a bit. And when struggle came her way she overcame it with colors. She didn't balk. She didn't crumble she survived it and exceeded. No one came to her rescue. No man came to save her. She did it on her own. She made it on her own. This woman has strength. It's been developed usually by a father and mother(figure). And she has learned to get back up after being knocked down.

The saving of a woman? Is part and parcel to how alot of what's wrong with women right now. As it stands. We keep waiting around for someone toc ome save us and instead we learn nothing of our own. We don't learn to be complete people.

So the damsel in distress bit...while yeah it's beautiful and romantic and it gives the men something to feel good about themselves. It doesn't help. And it doesn't build up character in a woman.

So no, i don't feel that you should be surprised when trouble comes knocking on your door and you're with a chick and she can't hack it. I think it's definitely not to your benefit to be with someone who you've had to save who has never had to stand on their own and make it through hard times alone.

I understand and agree!

But I didn't get from reading the brother's story that he 'saved' her.

I definatly can't stand a damsel in distress! Like TIP said, "ain't nothing worse than a sorry Bitch!"

 

[SoopamanLuva]

I don't understand your point here. Please explain, and I'm not being sarcastic either.

We, as men, shouldn't expect the same from our women that we give them?

Or should we just not expect them to have the same strength?

thats what got me too. She's big on accountability but totally lets them off the hook like they don't have anything to do with it. Im trying to understand the females point of view, but this threw me for a loop

 

[SoopamanLuva]

Ex. A woman, has been through life. She's struggled a bit and has some successes a bit. And when struggle came her way she overcame it with colors. She didn't balk. She didn't crumble she survived it and exceeded. No one came to her rescue. No man came to save her. She did it on her own. She made it on her own. This woman has strength. It's been developed usually by a father and mother(figure). And she has learned to get back up after being knocked down.

The saving of a woman? Is part and parcel to how alot of what's wrong with women right now. As it stands. We keep waiting around for someone toc ome save us and instead we learn nothing of our own. We don't learn to be complete people.

So the damsel in distress bit...while yeah it's beautiful and romantic and it gives the men something to feel good about themselves. It doesn't help. And it doesn't build up character in a woman.

So no, i don't feel that you should be surprised when trouble comes knocking on your door and you're with a chick and she can't hack it. I think it's definitely not to your benefit to be with someone who you've had to save who has never had to stand on their own and make it through hard times alone.

I can get with this here.

 

[SoopamanLuva]

So where are they? Where are the men? Where WERE they? I know men are needed. I believe they are. The problem is they don't believe they are, and they've succumbed to the belief that they are. Those who have the fighting chance to BE needed? Don't prove themselves to do so.



Why was it made this way? Lets be realistic and look at this broadview.


Sucks for the kid. Really and truly. Your friend chose badly.



Bolded part is ALL. All he needs to say and be done with. HE messed up and had a child with a woman he wasn't married too, and a woman who couldn't be trusted. He made the mistake. And now...as many MANY of us do...he has to suffer the consequences of his actions. Like any MAN does. You just have to suffer what you have wrought. And make the best of what you can. Bide your time and deal with it as it comes. Until he can achieve financial support and means enough to take care of his daughter and get custody himself. There's nothing he can do until the child is of age to make her own choice of where to live. I'm sorry it happened that way. Really am. That sucks. But this is the price he has to pay and it's the price his child has to pay for his ill concieved laying with this female.



No she doesn't. She doesn't HAVE too. This isn't pitty pat and it's not a game of Play Fair. Women don't play fair. They don't abide by the same rules that males do. Women don't have honor in the way that males concieve of it. And i believe this is in large part to a big problem in our communities. I've worked with women my whole life. I know, how dirty sneaky conniving and treacherous they can be. I've seen it first hand. My thing is many of you guys see the same thing and you hear the same thing but you let ego and your biological processes to mate get in the way. Odds are she didn't have a MAN in her life to teach her properly. To me that should be criteria to be with a woman let alone have a CHILD with her.

Males often go off half cocked and when it hits the fan they want someone to feel their pain and understand what they brought on themselves. I don't feel this way. Because you brought it on yourself. Something i'm super big on is accountability. Being accountable and responsible for the actions you take and then when you fall into a world of trouble the only thing left for you to do is pick YOURSELF up and dust YOURSELF off. And figure out what you did wrong so you don't do it again. And then...continue with life. You can either let what happened keep you down and beat you down. Or you can be smarter about the next situation that comes along. Once again. a CHOICE.



There's a solution. Just not a viable 1. Realistic solutions available? None. Imagined solutions? Whims of fancy? A million. My sons will be raised with their fathers values and knowledge. In hope and belief that they will continue in what he set out to do. Realistically? They may, they may not. I'm not a dreamer, that was my husband. It was a nice and pretty dream. A dream i love. But i'm much more the realist. I know what's really going to happen. I know the the few drops of water to make a swimming pool aren't enough to change the oceans. That's what this is really. People who believe in doing right and trying to make the world a better place are those drops in the swimming pool. Compared to the oceans of the world.

You are exactly right. Its his bad but he took responsibility for his screw up and is dealing with it. Is she not required to do the same? does she not have any culpability in the situation? She gets off scoot free on the strength that she's female? Thats what i don't agree with

 

[dHustla]

You are exactly right. Its his bad but he took responsibility for his screw up and is dealing with it. Is she not required to do the same? does she not have any culpability in the situation? She gets off scoot free on the strength that she's female? Thats what i don't agree with

chuuch!

Tabernacle!

Sanctuary!

 

[dHustla]

Preach!

You are exactly right. Its his bad but he took responsibility for his screw up and is dealing with it. Is she not required to do the same? does she not have any culpability in the situation? She gets off scoot free on the strength that she's female? Thats what i don't agree with

 

[dHustla]

What about those that never got a chance to earn respect, those that have never known devotion in order to understand how and what to look for in, not only a mate, but in people period.



Let me say this.....

The main reason for this thread is that I saw what I didn't have, what I was denied and recently saw what I would like to have. Everything I was denied was/is by no fault of my own. What I don't have is something to hold on to. Someone that means something to me. I recently told a sibling that "If y'all never saw me again, y'all would be aiight." I meant it. That us both think about what would evoke those thoughts and I explained that I've never felt like I mattered. I've always felt like an inconvenience, a burden, and with that seed being planted in me I developed the same feelings, or lack of feelings, toward everyone else. No one really mattered, because no-one really cares. I was taught that my worth was in what I did or what I made($). So as a man, that's all I value... hustling, working, anything that generates $ or gets the job done, whatever it may be.

I wasn't important to anyone, only what I was able to do or produce was important, and I still feel that way for the most part.

I've never known unconditional love. Devotion? What's devotion? Being considerate? How you do that? And why?


It may sound preposterous, but like a few have called me "socially retarded" recently, I'll admit to it. I'm learning.

But in order to learn new, positive and progressive behavior and values... I had/have to cut off the toxic relationships that do more harm than good. Remove myself from those that aren't conducive to my growth.

I feel a little guilty, but the good outweighs the bad feeling of guilt already.

I know it's harsh, but I've seen the best that 'they' have to offer and .............I'm straight on that

Let's address the issue of people raising broken children. Mothers treating son with disdain, sisters observing and emulating this same treatment and exuding it towards other males/men, and the son never learning any better or rather that how he's been treated isn't ideal, and shouldn't be looked for in a mate or overlooked in a mate.

The cycle can stop, but it has to stop somewhere. The youth are our future, be them adolescent or young adult.

No one taught me, and I'm 28 just finding out exactly how socially retarded I am...... and the water is deep.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I understand and agree!

But I didn't get from reading the brother's story that he 'saved' her.

I definatly can't stand a damsel in distress! Like TIP said, "ain't nothing worse than a sorry Bitch!"

He didn't say it. But he did say it. Everything he said pointed to him being the saving type. Whenever you tell something and it's all about how you did this and you did that for this person and helped them through this and that. And it's a man speaking on a woman? He saved her. Dollars to donuts he saved her. Men have to stop doing that. It's enablment. And all it does is cause a detrimental effect. If you have daughters? Teach them to be JUST as self sufficient and self actualizing as you do boys.

Odds are the girl he got with was selfish from jump. Made everything about her. And her problems were the biggest problems in the universe. And he helped her through everything that happened because he loved her and wanted to be with her. Even through all that stuff he asked her to marry him. Seeing she comes from a family who's on some other stuff. He would invite this woman to be his wife. Just saying, i know the type. I've seen the type a whole lot.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

thats what got me too. She's big on accountability but totally lets them off the hook like they don't have anything to do with it. Im trying to understand the females point of view, but this threw me for a loop

I accept what is as what is. I don't expect much from a female who lays with a dude without him being worthy of marriage. And then has a child for him. This is going to sound really bad but .... In MY view? If you have sex with a guy and have children with him and you're not married to him? Soulbound? Anything of the sort? Then to me you're still effectively a child at that point in time. To me in that kind of state? A woman isn't going to MATURE until she's LIVED life around 30ish. In that state.

I don't expect great decisions and a solid state of mind from a chlid. So why should i expect the same from a so called person who makes childish decisions about her life? Just my take on it.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

You are exactly right. Its his bad but he took responsibility for his screw up and is dealing with it. Is she not required to do the same? does she not have any culpability in the situation? She gets off scoot free on the strength that she's female? Thats what i don't agree with

I'll have to ask, what is Scott Free? Are you exaggerating? Are you saying she's scott free in that........what? She doesn't have to pay? For the child? She doesn't have to.....? What? Suffer the consequences? She will. She will very much so. Like i said to someone else before, life's not over. There's a whole lot of things to be done and have experienced especially when it comes to raising children and dealing with the aftereffects of the decisions you've made to impact their lives.

But i also said i don't expect much from her. She had a kid with your friend and she didn't demand he marry her. She had unprotected sex with a guy who forwhatever reason...she deemed it was ok to have a child with. Without his binding of will to her own.

So no as a woman i don't hold her in the leadership accountability department as i would hold a man. Just as i wouldn't hold him accountable for things i would hold her for.

It's established to me she's not in her right mind. Neither of them is really. Why have a child with a woman who you didn't want to bind yourself too? Why have a child with a woman who ....well you're just not going to up and tell me this guy saw NO signs of "offness" about this female from the start. I see it in most everyone i meet.

Does the child live with her? Then she's being held in culpability. Maybe not the way males want it to be. But SHE's not male. So why should she have the same binding rules and state of honor that a man does?

For the record? I'm old school. Old old school. I don't believe in women's lib. I don't believe in equal rights. I don't believe in believing we're all the same this and that. I firmly believe women are women for a reason as men are men.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Let's address the issue of people raising broken children. Mothers treating son with disdain, sisters observing and emulating this same treatment and exuding it towards other males/men, and the son never learning any better or rather that how he's been treated isn't ideal, and shouldn't be looked for in a mate or overlooked in a mate.

The cycle can stop, but it has to stop somewhere. The youth are our future, be them adolescent or young adult.

No one taught me, and I'm 28 just finding out exactly how socially retarded I am...... and the water is deep.

Something my husband always used to say, "if you KNOW then you have NO EXCUSE but not to DO."

With knowledge comes the burden and responsibility of action.

 

[dHustla]

I'll have to ask, what is Scott Free? Are you exaggerating? Are you saying she's scott free in that........what? She doesn't have to pay? For the child? She doesn't have to.....? What? Suffer the consequences? She will. She will very much so. Like i said to someone else before, life's not over. There's a whole lot of things to be done and have experienced especially when it comes to raising children and dealing with the aftereffects of the decisions you've made to impact their lives.

But i also said i don't expect much from her. She had a kid with your friend and she didn't demand he marry her. She had unprotected sex with a guy who forwhatever reason...she deemed it was ok to have a child with. Without his binding of will to her own.

So no as a woman i don't hold her in the leadership accountability department as i would hold a man. Just as i wouldn't hold him accountable for things i would hold her for.

It's established to me she's not in her right mind. Neither of them is really. Why have a child with a woman who you didn't want to bind yourself too? Why have a child with a woman who ....well you're just not going to up and tell me this guy saw NO signs of "offness" about this female from the start. I see it in most everyone i meet.

Does the child live with her? Then she's being held in culpability. Maybe not the way males want it to be. But SHE's not male. So why should she have the same binding rules and state of honor that a man does?

For the record? I'm old school. Old old school. I don't believe in women's lib. I don't believe in equal rights. I don't believe in believing we're all the same this and that. I firmly believe women are women for a reason as men are men.

The bolded above is reason enough for the guy to give a woman slack. Because you won't meet someone without any signs of "offness"

 

[dHustla]

He didn't say it. But he did say it. Everything he said pointed to him being the saving type. Whenever you tell something and it's all about how you did this and you did that for this person and helped them through this and that. And it's a man speaking on a woman? He saved her. Dollars to donuts he saved her. Men have to stop doing that. It's enablment. And all it does is cause a detrimental effect. If you have daughters? Teach them to be JUST as self sufficient and self actualizing as you do boys.

Odds are the girl he got with was selfish from jump. Made everything about her. And her problems were the biggest problems in the universe. And he helped her through everything that happened because he loved her and wanted to be with her. Even through all that stuff he asked her to marry him. Seeing she comes from a family who's on some other stuff. He would invite this woman to be his wife. Just saying, i know the type. I've seen the type a whole lot.

I accept what is as what is. I don't expect much from a female who lays with a dude without him being worthy of marriage. And then has a child for him. This is going to sound really bad but .... In MY view? If you have sex with a guy and have children with him and you're not married to him? Soulbound? Anything of the sort? Then to me you're still effectively a child at that point in time. To me in that kind of state? A woman isn't going to MATURE until she's LIVED life around 30ish. In that state.

I don't expect great decisions and a solid state of mind from a chlid. So why should i expect the same from a so called person who makes childish decisions about her life? Just my take on it.

.....

Good thread.

You know what, though? I'm a little of both, a scared confirmed bachelor. Read on...

"...fear...the conventional roles that men play in the family; the husband, provider, father, protector role..."

This is so true for me, but for so many different reasons. I don't fear a family, that's what I eventually want, but I do fear being a husband to a woman that is not a lady and not finding out until I'm over 35, have given this bitch the best years of my life (yeah, I know, too many romantic comedies), and have given her my all in order to be the best husband I can. I fear being a provider to a 'person' that possesses the power to undermine everything that I stand for and that I have built for my family and myself. I fear fathering a child or children with a woman that may very well be a wonderful bitch, but an awful mother, and a vindictive lover.
I stand to lose more than I stand to gain.

"...desire to have a hands on physicality with women while having a hands off emotional mentality..."

Can you blame us? It's safer. I can only speak for myself (trying to avoid the broad sweeping statements that BGOL is known for and that dissolve threads into sparring matches), but a woman can't hurt me physically if I don't allow her to. She can hurt me emotionally, though, even if I don't want to give her the power to. Y'all, women, really don't know the power y'all possess. And, yes, since some have abused this power then the all must suffer for the wrongs done by a few.

"...I will acquiesce enough to admit that some men are just not built for a life of his and hers."

So very true.

"However, it’s been my experience that men who are comfortable with their confirmed bachelor status extend that comfort to the women in their lives. Those who are truly happy flying their lives solo accept and enjoy the lustful treats they get from the fairer sex and spend a lot less time dogging them out for their sexual empowerment."

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

The bolded above is reason enough for the guy to give a woman slack. Because you won't meet someone without any signs of "offness"

I guess i should narrow down what i mean by 'offness'. I mean it to be. Off in their decision making process and how they run their lives. Seeing it in everyone to me just means that people are more screwed up than everyone gives the other credit for and they're willing to make bad decisions and then blame it on...whoever knows. I don't believe in excuse making, i do believe in knowing what is for what is.

If you meet a woman who comes from a single mother upbringing, her older sisters have have had children out of wedlock and dealing with babydaddy/mama drama. If her past relationship had drama in it. if in conversing with her she tells you her beliefs and they don't jibe with yours or don't jibe with what is SANE. And you STILL get with her? You STILL develop feelings for her? Because her "head game is tight". Because....who knows the multitude of rationalizations people make.

Well in my eyes you get what you paid for. You have no 1 to blame but yourself.

The other post you wrote to me had nothing written in it in response to me. And i'm not sure of what you were trying to say in your 2nd quotation.

 

[melonpecan]

So no, i don't feel that you should be surprised when trouble comes knocking on your door and you're with a chick and she can't hack it. I think it's definitely not to your benefit to be with someone who you've had to save who has never had to stand on their own and make it through hard times alone.

This is probably why someone I know can't keep a man. She is constantly picking the bottom of the barrel dudes and trying to turn them into the 'saviors' she needs thinking they can get her out of rough patches. I firmly believe that a strong Black Man has a lot to teach a woman in a relationship and I don't think she has had that.

It's a part of the problem i believe. A cross inside women that this society teaches, is teaching us 1 thing, and that 1 thing conflicts with our nature. I think the mentality comes from the competitive as well as esteem problems we share as a people.

I know I have self esteem problems with my own personal self but as a community? Like what? (I have something in mind but I want to make sure we on the same page of thought.)

Melon, nawl, I ain't heard that one. I don't fuck w/ frank & wanda at all.

Pops likes to hear the Inspirational vitimin in the mornings...show didnt was always like that when he came in after mike



Vid is missing hthe first verse i got more to say and do but i need a new keyboad keyboard i c nt cant backspace be back later

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

This is probably why someone I know can't keep a man. She is constantly picking the bottom of the barrel dudes and trying to turn them into the 'saviors' she needs thinking they can get her out of rough patches. I firmly believe that a strong Black Man has a lot to teach a woman in a relationship and I don't think she has had that.

Ugh I despise this when women do this. Try to get a guy for the sole intent and purpose of him being there to support HER. Instead of them working as a team together. With her believing surely her vagina is made of platinum diamonds rubies and ambrosia and just by giving it to a male it will inspire him to do her bidding and fight for her, he will swoop out of the sky like superman to her Lois Lane and he'll save the day when some trouble pops up that undoubtedly SHE was the source of. I also firmly believe a man has much to teach a woman in a relationship. I never needed my husband to come save me. I needed him to be my mate. My soulbound.

I know I have self esteem problems with my own personal self but as a community? Like what? (I have something in mind but I want to make sure we on the same page of thought.)

I think as a people do to psychological, hell sociological means we've been subjected to the belief that white is right. Everything the caucasian does is and was the right way to do it. And by that it makes us believe subconsciously even through no fault of our own,we're made to believe that we are essentially inferior to the caucasian.

Esteem issue number 1. The core to our problems as a people. Very much like the unenlightened woman we spoke of initially. We do expect caucasians to solve all problems. Without even looking that they were the cause of most of the problems. We bray and becon at them to come save us. Do something. Save us. We do nothing for ourselves. We do not trust our selves. We have it hammered into us about us being 'individuals'. And every person out for themselves. We do not seek to help each other. For the most part.

Only get over. Only get by. This is what i see as a people wide self esteem issue.

If you were asking about what i was talking about with what society teaches us as women? Versus what we naturally feel? I'll have to come back later and explain that i'm at work right now. lol

 

[melonpecan]

^^^

I like you

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Thanks. So few do.

 

[SoopamanLuva]

It was a misunderstanding. I thought you were saying that she has no responsibility in the situation. It's obvious you weren't and made that clear. With that said. I have to agree. You were right. But you are probably older than us and have more life experiences to draw from. You have a lot to offer a young woman. You have a perspective that no man could ever give her. I hope you share that every now and then.

I'll have to ask, what is Scott Free? Are you exaggerating? Are you saying she's scott free in that........what? She doesn't have to pay? For the child? She doesn't have to.....? What? Suffer the consequences? She will. She will very much so. Like i said to someone else before, life's not over. There's a whole lot of things to be done and have experienced especially when it comes to raising children and dealing with the aftereffects of the decisions you've made to impact their lives.

But i also said i don't expect much from her. She had a kid with your friend and she didn't demand he marry her. She had unprotected sex with a guy who forwhatever reason...she deemed it was ok to have a child with. Without his binding of will to her own.

So no as a woman i don't hold her in the leadership accountability department as i would hold a man. Just as i wouldn't hold him accountable for things i would hold her for.

It's established to me she's not in her right mind. Neither of them is really. Why have a child with a woman who you didn't want to bind yourself too? Why have a child with a woman who ....well you're just not going to up and tell me this guy saw NO signs of "offness" about this female from the start. I see it in most everyone i meet.

Does the child live with her? Then she's being held in culpability. Maybe not the way males want it to be. But SHE's not male. So why should she have the same binding rules and state of honor that a man does?

For the record? I'm old school. Old old school. I don't believe in women's lib. I don't believe in equal rights. I don't believe in believing we're all the same this and that. I firmly believe women are women for a reason as men are men.

 

[dHustla]

I think as a people do to psychological, hell sociological means we've been subjected to the belief that white is right. Everything the caucasian does is and was the right way to do it. And by that it makes us believe subconsciously even through no fault of our own,we're made to believe that we are essentially inferior to the caucasian.

Esteem issue number 1. The core to our problems as a people. Very much like the unenlightened woman we spoke of initially. We do expect caucasians to solve all problems. Without even looking that they were the cause of most of the problems. We bray and becon at them to come save us. Do something. Save us. We do nothing for ourselves. We do not trust our selves. We have it hammered into us about us being 'individuals'. And every person out for themselves. We do not seek to help each other. For the most part.

Only get over. Only get by. This is what i see as a people wide self esteem issue.

If you were asking about what i was talking about with what society teaches us as women? Versus what we naturally feel? I'll have to come back later and explain that i'm at work right now. lol

I don't think like this, nor do I know of anyone that thinks this way. I don't blame the Caucasian or look to them for solutions to my problems. In fact, I feel as though Caucasians can't relate to many, if any, of my problems.

I'm all about the individual because that's how I was neglected and learned. No one cares about what you're going through, no one cares about your problems because they are just that, your problems. So, from that I developed the agenda of "I'ma get right........for me." For no one else but my-self!

 

[dHustla]

^^^

I like you

she a'ight

 

[dHustla]

Pops likes to hear the Inspirational vitimin in the mornings...show didnt was always like that when he came in after mike



Vid is missing hthe first verse i got more to say and do but i need a new keyboad keyboard i c nt cant backspace be back later

I-lli-ter-ate

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I don't think like this, nor do I know of anyone that thinks this way. I don't blame the Caucasian or look to them for solutions to my problems. In fact, I feel as though Caucasians can't relate to many, if any, of my problems.

I'm all about the individual because that's how I was neglected and learned. No one cares about what you're going through, no one cares about your problems because they are just that, your problems. So, from that I developed the agenda of "I'ma get right........for me." For no one else but my-self!

Lots of people say they're not like this. But yet and still there's lots of elements there. I don't know you. I'm just saying there's always some element there. And about you not knowing anyone like this? I believe from what you've told me about your family so far that's the very thing i'd describe as what happened. Part of it anyway.

 

[dHustla]

Lots of people say they're not like this. But yet and still there's lots of elements there. I don't know you. I'm just saying there's always some element there. And about you not knowing anyone like this? I believe from what you've told me about your family so far that's the very thing i'd describe as what happened. Part of it anyway.

Who's blaming Whytie?

Not my mama, not sister, not aunts, not uncles, maybe a wayward cousin... but he's just like that. His daddy is the first generation family idiot and he's the first son = jr.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

No.

I specifically said...

I think as a people do to psychological, hell sociological means we've been subjected to the belief that white is right. Everything the caucasian does is and was the right way to do it. And by that it makes us believe subconsciously even through no fault of our own,we're made to believe that we are essentially inferior to the caucasian.

Key word bolded. People for the most part, our people for the most part i believe don't go around blaming whitey. Even though i believe they should. A system wide consciousness shaking would do black people a world of good. But

I know it's not going to happen. It's buried too deep. The phrase i believe is "Institutionalized Racism" Systemic Racism. It's a subconscious thing.

But the programming is in the system. It's in the very way of life we've lead.

 

[melonpecan]

Thanks. So few do.

You have a different eye for approaching things; it is greatly appreciated.

she a'ight

I-lli-ter-ate

I was so glad when this song went off...didn't have control of the radio...wait, my keyboard is working now. BBL with commentary.

 

[BlackSmurf]

It was when capitalism labeled women as the most valuable consumers.. All men lost value then but as usual the black male lost more value than other males being that he is already very low on the economic food chain......

All women regardless of race go for the alpha males and black males are very seldom financial alpha males. So they are no longer valued or respected by their own women and the darker complected the black male is the worse the whole situation is

 

[dHustla]

Yes, you have to work! And no, you don't get final say. You need to respect my judgement!

This is more along the lines of what I initially made this thread to address.

It seems that women don't respect the black man unless his wallet is full. Even then, it's not the man they're respecting, it's the money.

Discuss.

 

[mo_snitching]

Lol look at my thread 'women need men' and yeah lol um women need men. Be it a community or ecosystem or another planet. Women need men. They may not specifically technically need those men to be black, but they need men.

 

[dHustla]

Lol look at my thread 'women need men' and yeah lol um women need men. Be it a community or ecosystem or another planet. Women need men. They may not specifically technically need those men to be black, but they need men.

hmmm....

Why don't they always act like it?

 

[dHustla]

Let's address the issue of people raising broken children. Mothers treating son with disdain, sisters observing and emulating this same treatment and exuding it towards other males/men, and the son never learning any better or rather that how he's been treated isn't ideal, and shouldn't be looked for in a mate or overlooked in a mate.

The cycle can stop, but it has to stop somewhere. The youth are our future, be them adolescent or young adult.

No one taught me, and I'm 28 just finding out exactly how socially retarded I am...... and the water is deep.

This is more along the lines of what I initially made this thread to address.

It seems that women don't respect the black man unless his wallet is full. Even then, it's not the man they're respecting, it's the money.

Discuss.

Bump

 

[jucurious]

Yes they are

 

[Mello Mello]

My dad always says, "A man is found when a man is needed".

They are but its no surprise many men feel they have to even ask this question. Society has become increasingly anti-male anti-masculinity unless kt serves a female purpose. Men these don't have the aid of patriarchy anymore to do their thinking for them. Today men don't even know how to "be", how to be men, how to act in particular situations. Any expressions of mascinity tend to be shamed as harmful or offensive. It's great that women can provide and earn for themselves now, it actually frees up men from the burden of having to care for women's every need.

However, today masculinity is disposable like wet wipes, it's needed to clean up the mess or fix things after that dispose of it. Being a man is a very thankless life full of expectation. You are not expected to complain or have grievances or show your individuality you are only expected to perform. Perform a job, a task, a duty, a responsibility.