Being Harassed By Men Is A Precursor to Violence

bigirl

anti- voluntary ignorance
BGOL Investor
Being Harassed By Men Is A Precursor to Violence
August 12th, 2009 | Uncategorized

Since many seem to be confused about why it is WRONG for a man to approach or speak to a woman he doesn’t know (without her initiating contact or her expressed consent) in public spaces here’s a primer:

Street Harassment refers to disrespect women receive daily in public spaces: streets, busses, and parks. Acts of street harassment can include lewd sexual comments and solicitations, stalking, touching and grabbing, demands to smile, cat calls, whistles, glaring, and remarks. Feminist Guide to Street Harassment

Surely you men can find other methods of communicating with women in a respectful manner and in seeking a date. There’s a huge difference between simply greeting another person as one human being to another using normal social graces and what goes on when saying hello is seen as an open invitation for sexual advances. So it’s not okay to call a woman “baby” or demand that she give you her phone number or “compliment” her when you are:

a) Invading her personal space
b) Taking up her time unsolicited and usually UNWANTED
c) ASSuming that because you are male you are entitled to anything at all – even an acknowledgment

Part of my recognition of how degenerate many would-be DBRs black males are was the insistence of some of these so-called “good” men that “talking to” a unknown female was their right and privilege. That it’s a normal everyday occurrence and not a big deal. The thought that women have forced themselves to go along with this culture of intimidation is as foreign as eating meat is to a vegan.

There are numerous men who bother women in public spaces and it cuts across race, ethnicity, religion and income. This is why certain Islamic countries force women to burqas. They already blame women for being temptresses and excuse the lack of respect and discipline of men by claiming it restores equilibrium. We should all just wear potato sacks over our heads and all the vulgarities would simply end. Not! As if the male species cannot control themselves from wanting to take by force any woman (or girl) they merely look at.

I remember the year I turned twelve. It was the end of my life as I had known it. With puberty came the sudden realization that I was under siege by older boys and unknown men anytime I left the house. I used to be shocked and saddened by some of these men who would not leave me alone even after I told them I was twelve (and still a baby in my eyes). There was never any joy in it for me! There was this sense of unspoken danger. It’s not as if I’d had any preparation for this and I resented not having had any advanced warning from the women in my family. There was this resigned acceptance that this one-sided violation was “what men do” instead of CHOICES being made. I quickly scrambled for anything that would offer me relief.

This is about CONTROL and HUMILIATION. It’s a dirty fight and power play. Men may be dense, obstinate or insensitive but nobody is that clueless. I posit men know exactly what they are doing when they engage women (and young girls) in this manner. Some are profiling for sexual assault. Some lie in wait for the women who protest so they can hurl expletives at them. They are trying to shame and scare women back into submission. They want to be kings of the castles “again” and the easiest way to do that is a gender-based attack. As women have gained more equal footing across the board these men are using guerilla war tactics to chip away at it.

We know these incidents are not isolated or simply a mere inconvenience. They now lead to murder – and has been covered at this blog numerous times!

The Stop Street Harassment Project calls for women to document all situations where they witness or have endured these attacks. We MUST file police reports and be prepared to enact consequences. It’s the only way this will change. Compliments are not supposed to be offensive. We should not be objectified. What we wear should have no bearing on some stranger looking at us, talking to us or touching us. We have the right to FREELY move about in public.
 
Ok let me just put this out there about harrasement. Maybe I am short sighted on the issue and maybe I don't understand women but here it go...

I think sexual harrasement is linked to sexual arrousal by women. I think that if a woman is attracted to a man she will put up with more shit from that man than if she is not attracted to him.

For example if I approach a woman and I say something like "girl I think you are beautiful and I want to get to know you" and she say no thanks and then I follow up with "i'm sorry to have bothered you but I really just wanted to talk to you maybe take you to dinner" and she isn't feeling me sexually she may cop an attitude and may claim I am harrasing her because I spoke to her twice.

Now if a dude she feeling walk up and say "hey girl let me holla at you" and pinch her on the ass she may ACT offended but she will still give him the time of day and a chance to make ammends. Seen it happen plenty of times. :smh:
 
Some dudes are aggressive but non violent.... It aint always that black and white. Grabbing a girls ass in public (that you dont know) is extreme, I agree... but some women like cavemen.:dunno:.. ppl are dynamic in personality ranges, sometimes the calm dude is the violent one... best thing for a woman to do Is dont put herself in precarious situaions, show and demand respect and use natrual intuition (not that womens intuition psy-ops manipulation crap:puke::smh:)..
 
Are you under 25, bro? This line (although to the point) is meant for r&b music.

I was just trying to think of something that was nice vs. something crass. The point was that it is weak but if she were feeling him the weak line would still get over. The other line is even weaker and followed by and ass pinch but she giving him time of day. Get it?
 


Is what's happening to this woman harassment? How a woman is approached usually depends on how a woman presents herself. If you dress like the woman in the video you will get all kinds of attention, wanted and unwanted.

Is it fair? Probably not your argument might be she should be able to dress anyway she wants which is correct. But again her appearance says approach me I need attention.

As for harassment I might elect to approach a woman an when I do I don't want her feeling threatened or cornered. I want to talk to her in the same relaxed state I saw her in so usually I can strike up a relaxed conversation.

On the other side of the coin I do know that there's some cats who haven't a clue as to how to approach a woman. But the women are as much at fault as the guys. There's so many women who allow themselves to be approached any kind of way and carry themselves any kind of way it muddies the waters on what is acceptable and what isn't.

As many women know we men are visual so IMO if a woman wants to be approached in a dignified manner she needs to present herself that way. If you dress like the woman in the video you get what you get.
 
now seriously there is no way to cover up or hide that ass no matter what she wears
 


Is what's happening to this woman harassment? How a woman is approached usually depends on how a woman presents herself. If you dress like the woman in the video you will get all kinds of attention, wanted and unwanted.

Is it fair? Probably not your argument might be she should be able to dress anyway she wants which is correct. But again her appearance says approach me I need attention.

As for harassment I might elect to approach a woman an when I do I don't want her feeling threatened or cornered. I want to talk to her in the same relaxed state I saw her in so usually I can strike up a relaxed conversation.

On the other side of the coin I do know that there's some cats who haven't a clue as to how to approach a woman. But the women are as much at fault as the guys. There's so many women who allow themselves to be approached any kind of way and carry themselves any kind of way it muddies the waters on what is acceptable and what isn't.

As many women know we men are visual so IMO if a woman wants to be approached in a dignified manner she needs to present herself that way. If you dress like the woman in the video you get what you get.


I understand your argument, but also feel that sometimes it doesn't matter what a woman wears or how she presents herself that warrants unnecessary haggling from men...

I'm definitely a conservative dresser, but have noticed men, from teenagers to even elderly men (this happened a lot when I was in my younger twenties :puke::smh: cause I looked like I was 12!), saying things unnecessary to me when they were around other large groups of men...it's like they reveled in the fact that they could do it, co-sign what they said with their boys AND get away with it (cause what could I say, in defense for myself, if I'm walking by a group of men?)...

And, we're not talking about your casual, "Hey, how you're doing? You look nice today," or even your aggressive, "Damn, ma, you wearing them jeans...let me holla at you for a second." What we're talking about is the, "Damn...look at them breasts. How you fit all that in yo shirt?!? Let a nigga touch one for a second." The degrading, ridiculous comments a man can spew at a lady is what's being discussed here...
 
lol yes but even if she wore long skirt or baggy pants dudes would still harass the shit out of her so why even bother

So she could have better ground to stand on when she says "Stop talking to me like that." :dunno:

If you are a woman in a business suit with a fat ass then you still got a fat ass but if a brother try to pinch you on the ass and you say "Hey don't do that." more people would understand your situation than in booty shorts saying the same thing.

Shouldn't be the case but it is. :dunno:
 
So she could have better ground to stand on when she says "Stop talking to me like that." :dunno:

If you are a woman in a business suit with a fat ass then you still got a fat ass but if a brother try to pinch you on the ass and you say "Hey don't do that." more people would understand your situation than in booty shorts saying the same thing.

Shouldn't be the case but it is. :dunno:

I see women in business suits get harassed plenty too
 
I understand your argument, but also feel that sometimes it doesn't matter what a woman wears or how she presents herself that warrants unnecessary haggling from men...

I'm definitely a conservative dresser, but have noticed men, from teenagers to even elderly men (this happened a lot when I was in my younger twenties :puke::smh: cause I looked like I was 12!), saying things unnecessary to me when they were around other large groups of men...it's like they reveled in the fact that they could do it, co-sign what they said with their boys AND get away with it (cause what could I say, in defense for myself, if I'm walking by a group of men?)...

And, we're not talking about your casual, "Hey, how you're doing? You look nice today," or even your aggressive, "Damn, ma, you wearing them jeans...let me holla at you for a second." What we're talking about is the, "Damn...look at them breasts. How you fit all that in yo shirt?!? Let a nigga touch one for a second." The degrading, ridiculous comments a man can spew at a lady is what's being discussed here...

Again that shit is working for somebody Jo. Men are creatures of habit. We do what works. And again if a girl is attracted to you they will let you say damn near anything and it won't matter. That's my point.

So dude say..."Goddamn them titties sitting fat lil mama. Can I suck on one of them?" and you don't respond then YOU just didn't respond and the thinking is you weren't attracted. Cause I got an uncle who said that shit to 5 girls and got 3 numbers in one day. Sexual attraction trumps all! :lol:
 
What I have noticed is, unless a dude is trying to catch a charge, 9 times out of 10, he will not say some out of line shit unless someone else is there to witness it :smh:

just another observation...
 
random dudes on street and they don't look interested

Random dudes are just trying to catch your attention out of 100's of other random dudes at that point though. But like I said how they do it vary depending on what work for them?

Some dudes just don't know how to talk to women? :dunno:

But that stuff work on some women so I say it still depends on if you find that guy attractive or not. I mean if you think Denzel Washington is cute and he come up to you and pinch you on your ass and say "I think that's ripe for the picking"! :lol:

You'll be mad for a second but then you might think "Hmm. He cute" and give in. Niggas think they Denzel Washington sometimes! :roflmao:
 
What I have noticed is, unless a dude is trying to catch a charge, 9 times out of 10, he will not say some out of line shit unless someone else is there to witness it :smh:

just another observation...

Maybe he don't think it's out of line? Maybe the women he talks to actually respond to that shit? Women think that's what is offensive to them is offensive to all. I say it's only offensive to the people you are not attracted to.
 
You are wrong it doesn't matter how hot or cute the dude is if he comes like that he automatically goes to skunt slot :hmm:
 
You are wrong it doesn't matter how hot or cute the dude is if he comes like that he automatically goes to skunt slot :hmm:

But not for every woman and not in every setting. I've seen it happen too many times as a man rolling with other men for it not to be true. Mini skirt to business suit I've seen dudes pull women with some of the most outlandish shit. :smh:
 


Is what's happening to this woman harassment? How a woman is approached usually depends on how a woman presents herself. If you dress like the woman in the video you will get all kinds of attention, wanted and unwanted.

Is it fair? Probably not your argument might be she should be able to dress anyway she wants which is correct. But again her appearance says approach me I need attention.

As for harassment I might elect to approach a woman an when I do I don't want her feeling threatened or cornered. I want to talk to her in the same relaxed state I saw her in so usually I can strike up a relaxed conversation.

On the other side of the coin I do know that there's some cats who haven't a clue as to how to approach a woman. But the women are as much at fault as the guys. There's so many women who allow themselves to be approached any kind of way and carry themselves any kind of way it muddies the waters on what is acceptable and what isn't.

As many women know we men are visual so IMO if a woman wants to be approached in a dignified manner she needs to present herself that way. If you dress like the woman in the video you get what you get.

Cosign
 
I understand your argument, but also feel that sometimes it doesn't matter what a woman wears or how she presents herself that warrants unnecessary haggling from men...

I'm definitely a conservative dresser, but have noticed men, from teenagers to even elderly men (this happened a lot when I was in my younger twenties :puke::smh: cause I looked like I was 12!), saying things unnecessary to me when they were around other large groups of men...it's like they reveled in the fact that they could do it, co-sign what they said with their boys AND get away with it (cause what could I say, in defense for myself, if I'm walking by a group of men?)...

And, we're not talking about your casual, "Hey, how you're doing? You look nice today," or even your aggressive, "Damn, ma, you wearing them jeans...let me holla at you for a second." What we're talking about is the, "Damn...look at them breasts. How you fit all that in yo shirt?!? Let a nigga touch one for a second." The degrading, ridiculous comments a man can spew at a lady is what's being discussed here...

The wolves who look to prey on young girls have always existed. This is why its so important to listen and learn when your young so you can avoid those who would take advantage of young girls. I'm sure the age of 12 can be a trying time and it probably doesn't get much better until your mid-20s.

In general today parents teach their boys nothing regarding sex. Sexual education for most boys today comes from music videos and rap music, porn and the internet. When I listen to the music played at the gym I just :smh:. The lyrics aren't suggestive they're explicit. Now consider how much of this crap these boys and young men listen to. They've literally been brainwashed. Unfortunately they aren't the ultimate victims its you ladies. Trust me I don't envy any young woman growing up in today's society.
 
now seriously there is no way to cover up or hide that ass no matter what she wears

I know but its not about covering it. Its about how she carries herself. Watch the video she doesn't even protest when the guys touch her. Has she been so conditioned to ignore it?

Back in my 20s I dated a girl like her (no gut) and she was respected everywhere she went. Why because she demanded respect and she didn't get loud or lose her dignity doing it. Nor did she parade around the street looking like this chick. The image you project will determine how your approached and who will approach you.
 
In general today parents teach their boys nothing regarding sex. Sexual education for most boys today comes from music videos and rap music, porn and the internet. When I listen to the music played at the gym I just :smh:. The lyrics aren't suggestive they're explicit. Now consider how much of this crap these boys and young men listen to. They've literally been brainwashed. Unfortunately they aren't the ultimate victims its you ladies. Trust me I don't envy any young woman growing up in today's society.

You hit the nail on the head here. Young girls are getting and hearing the same provocative message that boys are hearing on the radio. My boyfriend talks to me all the time about the messages songs on urban radio these days are sending to our youth: infidelity, promiscuity, lust and lack of morality. Not that, when I was growing up, these messages weren't there...BUT the lyrics were suggestive of things, and not just straight up explicit and obscene as they are now...

A young lady these days has a hard time understanding how to be a young "lady" these days particularly because they're being told to by the likes of Karrine Steffans and other trifling women how to 'secure' a man :smh: For years, I've been saying that young ladies need to be taught, by their parents, on how to be a lady...not always about what you should expect from a man, but what you should give off as a lady...and, no, it's not just about crossing your legs when you sit, but the air that you carry yourself with...
 
You hit the nail on the head here. Young girls are getting and hearing the same provocative message that boys are hearing on the radio. My boyfriend talks to me all the time about the messages songs on urban radio these days are sending to our youth: infidelity, promiscuity, lust and lack of morality. Not that, when I was growing up, these messages weren't there...BUT the lyrics were suggestive of things, and not just straight up explicit and obscene as they are now...

A young lady these days has a hard time understanding how to be a young "lady" these days particularly because they're being told to by the likes of Karrine Steffans and other trifling women how to 'secure' a man :smh: For years, I've been saying that young ladies need to be taught, by their parents, on how to be a lady...not always about what you should expect from a man, but what you should give off as a lady...and, no, it's not just about crossing your legs when you sit, but the air that you carry yourself with...

You seem to have the answer too. Education of young women would be the balance to offset brainwashed males. The black female needs to be made aware being strong is her best chance to have a productive future.

The black male today is not prepared for tomorrow. This makes him insignificant as a provider for the black female, yet the black male will feel the black female should be receptive to his approach. This has to stop somewhere and the education of the black female is the key.
 
100% ITA
You hit the nail on the head here. Young girls are getting and hearing the same provocative message that boys are hearing on the radio. My boyfriend talks to me all the time about the messages songs on urban radio these days are sending to our youth: infidelity, promiscuity, lust and lack of morality. Not that, when I was growing up, these messages weren't there...BUT the lyrics were suggestive of things, and not just straight up explicit and obscene as they are now...

A young lady these days has a hard time understanding how to be a young "lady" these days particularly because they're being told to by the likes of Karrine Steffans and other trifling women how to 'secure' a man :smh: For years, I've been saying that young ladies need to be taught, by their parents, on how to be a lady...not always about what you should expect from a man, but what you should give off as a lady...and, no, it's not just about crossing your legs when you sit, but the air that you carry yourself with...
 
I think sexual harrasement is linked to sexual arrousal by women. I think that if a woman is attracted to a man she will put up with more shit from that man than if she is not attracted to him.

Harassment is harassment, and sexual harassment is what it is. It goes way past a pinch on the butt. Female supervisors are one of the most likely targets, does that surprise you?

Sexual harassment is predatory in nature, so perhaps it is a precursor to violence.


Interesting porn story, I remember one of my real cool peeps during her, " Retirement " from porn, because yes I believe she's back in the game on the production side. Worked a 9-5, nobody said anything to her for years in that office until one cat tried, got rejected, then his dumb ass brings the DVD cover up to the gig to show everyone.

I believe she ate good for awhile off of that lawsuit.
 
A lone star from LoneStar

you know where you can put it too

:lol:




I understand your argument, but also feel that sometimes it doesn't matter what a woman wears or how she presents herself that warrants unnecessary haggling from men...

I'm definitely a conservative dresser, but have noticed men, from teenagers to even elderly men (this happened a lot when I was in my younger twenties :puke::smh: cause I looked like I was 12!), saying things unnecessary to me when they were around other large groups of men...it's like they reveled in the fact that they could do it, co-sign what they said with their boys AND get away with it (cause what could I say, in defense for myself, if I'm walking by a group of men?)...

And, we're not talking about your casual, "Hey, how you're doing? You look nice today," or even your aggressive, "Damn, ma, you wearing them jeans...let me holla at you for a second." What we're talking about is the, "Damn...look at them breasts. How you fit all that in yo shirt?!? Let a nigga touch one for a second." The degrading, ridiculous comments a man can spew at a lady is what's being discussed here...


Man I wont even front, the other night I was driving through the city on my way to Penn Station and just as I make a right off 34th onto 7th this fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine sista wearing the fuck outta these tights ... SENSATIONAL ASS! Tittys all flagrantly jiggly and bouncy ... my head snapped back so quick to catch a glimpse and as i'm yelling "duuuuuuuhhhhhhhyyyuuuummmmmmmmm!!!" .... I literally yelled (in a capella) the exact words highlighted above.!!!!!:eek:

Then it suddenly hit me. I forgot to pick up my cape from the dry cleaners. :smh:

Anyway, funny thing is that (some) women think what (some) dudes say out lound.





Again that shit is working for somebody Jo. Men are creatures of habit. We do what works. And again if a girl is attracted to you they will let you say damn near anything and it won't matter. That's my point.

So dude say..."Goddamn them titties sitting fat lil mama. Can I suck on one of them?" and you don't respond then YOU just didn't respond and the thinking is you weren't attracted. Cause I got an uncle who said that shit to 5 girls and got 3 numbers in one day. Sexual attraction trumps all! :lol:

Couldn't have put it any better.
Althought you forgot about shiny handbaggy shoey things that (some) women are attracted too.
:D



What I have noticed is, unless a dude is trying to catch a charge, 9 times out of 10, he will not say some out of line shit unless someone else is there to witness it :smh:

just another observation...

You mean, like, a case of attention whoring?
Yep.
Pretty much, I can see that.
I can see how women don't indulge in this sort of behavior when in the company of their girl friends.
Brilliant observation. :yes:





Some dudes just don't know how to talk to women? :dunno:

But that stuff work on some women so I say it still depends on if you find that guy attractive or not. I mean if you think Denzel Washington is cute and he come up to you and pinch you on your ass and say "I think that's ripe for the picking"! :lol:

You'll be mad for a second but then you might think "Hmm. He cute" and give in. Niggas think they Denzel Washington sometimes! :roflmao:

Pretty much.
Again, like ridiculous late night infomercial gimics and Flava of Love. It's on TV so someboby's buying it.





The wolves who look to prey on young girls have always existed. This is why its so important to listen and learn when your young so you can avoid those who would take advantage of young girls. I'm sure the age of 12 can be a trying time and it probably doesn't get much better until your mid-20s.
In general today parents teach their boys nothing regarding sex. Sexual education for most boys today comes from music videos and rap music, porn and the internet. When I listen to the music played at the gym I just :smh:. The lyrics aren't suggestive they're explicit. Now consider how much of this crap these boys and young men listen to. They've literally been brainwashed. Unfortunately they aren't the ultimate victims its you ladies. Trust me I don't envy any young woman growing up in today's society.

True, women always end up having more to lose but it's a perpetuating feed-back cycle where "ultimately" every
one loses - men, women, kids, parents, society.




You hit the nail on the head here. Young girls are getting and hearing the same provocative message that boys are hearing on the radio. My boyfriend talks to me all the time about the messages songs on urban radio these days are sending to our youth: infidelity, promiscuity, lust and lack of morality. Not that, when I was growing up, these messages weren't there...BUT the lyrics were suggestive of things, and not just straight up explicit and obscene as they are now...

A young lady these days has a hard time understanding how to be a young "lady" these days particularly because they're being told to by the likes of Karrine Steffans and other trifling women how to 'secure' a man :smh: For years, I've been saying that young ladies need to be taught, by their parents, on how to be a lady...not always about what you should expect from a man, but what you should give off as a lady...and, no, it's not just about crossing your legs when you sit, but the air that you carry yourself with...

Unless you
a) grew up in the 60's
b) grew up sheltered
c) still growing up

I'll have to disagree (with the highlighted)

The progressive push of the limits of lyrical and video censorship are glaringly obvious but you can't ignore confounders like the explosion of mass media ... aka the internet and the heep of i-enabled technologies.
 
Last edited:
Harassment is harassment, and sexual harassment is what it is. It goes way past a pinch on the butt. Female supervisors are one of the most likely targets, does that surprise you?

Sexual harassment is predatory in nature, so perhaps it is a precursor to violence.


Interesting porn story, I remember one of my real cool peeps during her, " Retirement " from porn, because yes I believe she's back in the game on the production side. Worked a 9-5, nobody said anything to her for years in that office until one cat tried, got rejected, then his dumb ass brings the DVD cover up to the gig to show everyone.

I believe she ate good for awhile off of that lawsuit.

I'm saying the word "harrasment" is suggestive. What is "harrasment". It's unwanted advances. Unwanted. So who decides if it's wanted or not? Usually the person who is being harrased.

My story. I saw a girl at a club. Regular club. Girl has her panties OFF, dress pulled up grinding on this dude. Dude step back and other people get up on her. Dudes standing around or whatever. Dudes start rubbing on her ass and trying to pat her coochie. 10 dudes. Fat dude showed up and tried to get in on the action. ALL SHIT SHUT DOWN!!!

Why are you touching me? What do you think this is? What the fuck? Nigga I don't even like you like that?

Niggas push fat dude out the circle and she continues. She don't know any of these dudes. I'm young so I'm grabbing ass myself and she damn sure don't know me.

This is extreme but sad and true. You put that in any situation you want and it's all suggestive. 10 dudes can say outlandish shit to a girl and she be responsive but if you happen to be the one she not feeling you are "harrassing" her. Why is it that the Denzel looking dude who just grabbed your ass on the way by isn't harrassment but the butt ugly muthafucka who did the same thing is? I don't get it?
 
I'm saying the word "harrasment" is suggestive. What is "harrasment". It's unwanted advances. Unwanted. So who decides if it's wanted or not? Usually the person who is being harrased.

My story. I saw a girl at a club. Regular club. Girl has her panties OFF, dress pulled up grinding on this dude. Dude step back and other people get up on her. Dudes standing around or whatever. Dudes start rubbing on her ass and trying to pat her coochie. 10 dudes. Fat dude showed up and tried to get in on the action. ALL SHIT SHUT DOWN!!!

Why are you touching me? What do you think this is? What the fuck? Nigga I don't even like you like that?

Niggas push fat dude out the circle and she continues. She don't know any of these dudes. I'm young so I'm grabbing ass myself and she damn sure don't know me.

This is extreme but sad and true. You put that in any situation you want and it's all suggestive. 10 dudes can say outlandish shit to a girl and she be responsive but if you happen to be the one she not feeling you are "harrassing" her. Why is it that the Denzel looking dude who just grabbed your ass on the way by isn't harrassment but the butt ugly muthafucka who did the same thing is? I don't get it?

So, you're saying, Andey, that a woman can basically choose whether or not she is being harassed based on whether or not she welcomes the attention from the person harassing her?

IDK about that...harassment is unwanted and unwelcome, and usually puts the person being harassed in a very uncomfortable situation. Just because, in your situation, said female decided to get upset at a fat dude feeling up on her does not signify to me that she was being harassed. Obviously, she, in general, was welcoming the behavior and wanted it...only to get upset when it wasn't coming from the person she welcomed it from...I don't think the really fits in with the point of harassment.

The whole argument about whether or not it's harassment based on who it comes from doesn't sit right to me...also, it puts moreso blame and bias towards the victim rather than truly attacking the root of the problem: people, in general, who think its okay to utilize power and force to overpower and ridicule someone who they believe to be beneath them...(notice I did not say men, because, shucks, women can harass a man too...)
 
So, you're saying, Andey, that a woman can basically choose whether or not she is being harassed based on whether or not she welcomes the attention from the person harassing her?

IDK about that...harassment is unwanted and unwelcome, and usually puts the person being harassed in a very uncomfortable situation. Just because, in your situation, said female decided to get upset at a fat dude feeling up on her does not signify to me that she was being harassed. Obviously, she, in general, was welcoming the behavior and wanted it...only to get upset when it wasn't coming from the person she welcomed it from...I don't think the really fits in with the point of harassment.

The whole argument about whether or not it's harassment based on who it comes from doesn't sit right to me...also, it puts moreso blame and bias towards the victim rather than truly attacking the root of the problem: people, in general, who think its okay to utilize power and force to overpower and ridicule someone who they believe to be beneath them...(notice I did not say men, because, shucks, women can harass a man too...)

Highlighted is exactly my point. This article was talking about people approaching people and persuing people. In public places. Street harrasment. To me harrassment is where you have no choice. When choices are taken away and power and influence are asserted that is harrasment.

When you welcome certain behavior and then reject the results that are unintended or unwanted that is not harrasment in my eyes. :dunno:
 
I know one thing...I will talk and say anyrhing I want whenever the fuck I want to who ever I want. I am a grown ass man. No woman is above being approached. Fuck that. Some of yall are trying to make it damn near illegal to be a man.

You captain save ho ass brothas and honary women can kiss my black ass. I don't give a fuck. I am not scared of none of yall.
 
Back
Top