If a guy asked you to take an STD test, how would you feel?

[Sampson]

I think too often, especially amongst my generation (early 20s) it's almost taboo to discuss STDs/HIV. Especially in the black community where it's becoming more pervasive.

So put yourself in this scenario:

You've been seeing a guy for a few months, things get serious and you start sleeping together, but the guy always wears condoms. The guy wants to fuck raw with no condom and you don't mind using the contraceptive pill... except he then asks you to take an STD test.

Would you feel insulted? Would you feel like he doesn't trust you or that he possibly sees you as a slut?

That's basically the situation I'm in. I took an STD test last month and I'm clean, but this new female I'm with... I still want her to take a test, alot of peeps could be carrying something they don't know because no symptoms are shown for years. I'd rather be safe than sorry before I have sex with her raw.

So from a female perspective... is there a wrong or right way to ask?

 

[Andeyhollawho]

From a male perspective (since I'm over here at the moment) there are certain standards I have for my dick to put it crudely. If she don't want to take the test tell her to bounce. Especially if she is asking for the raw. Now if you want to hit it raw it could get more tricky but if she refuses then my standard says that I probably should not be fucking her with a condom on either because that is not 100% from jump.

My opinion.

 

[Sampson]

From a male perspective (since I'm over here at the moment) there are certain standards I have for my dick to put it crudely. If she don't want to take the test tell her to bounce. Especially if she is asking for the raw. Now if you want to hit it raw it could get more tricky but if she refuses then my standard says that I probably should not be fucking her with a condom on either because that is not 100% from jump.

My opinion.

Appreciated. It was me who said it first that I want to hit it raw. She got the contraceptive pills last week... but then I thought 'Shiet nigga, think, you can't go in that raw when you don't know who she's been with.' I mean, even if she does have an STD, It wouldn't necessarily make her a slut... just the guy she possibly caught it from.

I never really thought about this before because I just got out of a long term relationship and we never used condoms.... but now I'm back on the scene, I remembered how whack that rubber shit feels. But yeah, this girl I'm with now is over-sensitive, which is why I'm hesitant about how I say it without insinuating anything insulting.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

Appreciated. It was me who said it first that I want to hit it raw. She got the contraceptive pills last week... but then I thought 'Shiet nigga, think, you can't go in that raw when you don't know who she's been with.' I mean, even if she does have an STD, It wouldn't necessarily make her a slut... just the guy she possibly caught it from.

I never really thought about this before because I just got out of a long term relationship and we never used condoms.... but now I'm back on the scene, I remembered how whack that rubber shit feels. But yeah, this girl I'm with now is over-sensitive, which is why I'm hesitant about how I say it without insinuating anything insulting.

Aight since you brought it up what I would do is ask her to go down and take the test together. Don't shove a piece of paper in her face and say "I got mine go get yours."

There are enough commercials and public service announcements about getting tested around to where it's not even taboo anymore. Tell her that for both of your safety and peace of mind that you would like to 1st be in a monogamous relationship and 2nd would like to solidify that bond with a test.

Because of course after you get this one test there will be no need for another right? Can't lose with that argument.

 

[Blunt]

You should worry more about pregnancy than STDs. An unwanted child will be far more damaging to your (and his/her) life. Wear a condom while she learns how to take the pills, and her body adjusts. (And don't assume those pills are gonna work, especially if she's never been on the program before and could mess up.)

 

[Sampson]

You should worry more about pregnancy than STDs. An unwanted child will be far more damaging to your (and his/her) life. Wear a condom AND have her learn how to take the pills. (Don't assume those pills are gonna work, especially if she's never been on the program before.)

Duh, that's why I stressed it was imperative she takes contraceptive pills in addition to an STD test before we fuck raw.

But you are right, those pills aren't 100%, the stories I've heard.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

You should worry more about pregnancy than STDs. An unwanted child will be far more damaging to your (and his/her) life. Wear a condom while she learns how to take the pills, and her body adjusts. (And don't assume those pills are gonna work, especially if she's never been on the program before and could mess up.)

Whoa? Possible death is less damaging than a child?

Maybe you aren't a woman after all.

 

[Sampson]

Appreciated. It was me who said it first that I want to hit it raw. She got the contraceptive pills last week... but then I thought 'Shiet nigga, think, you can't go in that raw when you don't know who she's been with.' I mean, even if she does have an STD, It wouldn't necessarily make her a slut... just the guy she possibly caught it from.

I never really thought about this before because I just got out of a long term relationship and we never used condoms.... but now I'm back on the scene, I remembered how whack that rubber shit feels. But yeah, this girl I'm with now is over-sensitive, which is why I'm hesitant about how I say it without insinuating anything insulting.

Yeah, that's probably the smartest way in approaching it. Kind of like when you're feeding a kid, you have to eat the veggies on the kid's plate in order to encourage the kid to do it too.

It's just that I've been wanting to get with her for a while, and now that I have, I don't want to fuck it up because as I said she's very very sensitive and very self-conscious of what others think of her. (Hey, no one's perfect)

Whoa? Possible death is less damaging than a child?

Maybe you aren't a woman after all.

I just tend to humor her/him/it.

 

[Blunt]

Whoa? Possible death is less damaging than a child?

Death from an STD?? Which one, chlamydia?? Herpes???

Easy solution when in doubt or if you're not permanently committed, keep wearing the condom. No unwanted kids. No diseases. (And why should she trust this dude just because he was tested a minute ago? He could've had 5 partners since the test.)

 

[Andeyhollawho]

Death from an STD?? Which one, chlamydia?? Herpes???

Easy solution when in doubt or if you're not permanently committed, keep wearing the condom. No unwanted kids. No diseases. (And why should she trust this dude just because he was tested a minute ago? He could've had 5 partners since the test.)

Did I not say he should go down with her and take the test again and not just wave his in her face and say I got mine go get yours? Do you read at all or are you always knee jerk?

And last time I checked men could get diseases from women too. At least he has been tested in the past so he is one step ahead or her.

 

[Crown&Coke]

Andy quit arguing with "it" before I tackle you. And secondly no body should feel insulted when asked to take a STD test. Most STD's can go on for a while with no symptoms.

I would go with her to show support. And make sure she take those damn pills the way she supposed to. ​

 

[Andeyhollawho]

Andy quit arguing with "it" before I tackle you. And secondly no body should feel insulted when asked to take a STD test. Most STD's can go on for a while with no symptoms.

I would go with her to show support. And make sure she take those damn pills the way she supposed to. ​

Damn I just realized what I was doing when I came back in here!

My bad.

 

[LoneStar29]

I would think that not only are you looking out for yourself but you are looking out for me

I would think that you are a responsible man that doesn't want to add to the spread of diseases not only in our community but the world itself

I would think how lucky I am to have a man in my bed that values life

Then I would thank you ... take the test ... show you the negative result ... then we fuckin' like jack rabbits (but I don't do raw sex cuz there is still a chance at pregnancy soooooooooooo)

 

[LoneStar29]

Quick story ... I was seeing this guy a few years ago ... one day we were about to have sex and realized we had no condoms ... he was like we've known each other long enough to fuck raw ... I go to him "I haven't had my HIV test this year yet" ... this fool looked me straight in the eyes and said "it's ok ... I can tell you're clean ... now take your pants off" ... I was like I damn near had to fight my pants back on (not in a bad way) and I walked 20 minutes to the store and back to get some Magnums ... I also never looked at him the same way again

 

[Andeyhollawho]

Quick story ... I was seeing this guy a few years ago ... one day we were about to have sex and realized we had no condoms ... he was like we've known each other long enough to fuck raw ... I go to him "I haven't had my HIV test this year yet" ... this fool looked me straight in the eyes and said "it's ok ... I can tell you're clean ... now take your pants off" ... I was like I damn near had to fight my pants back on (not in a bad way) and I walked 20 minutes to the store and back to get some Magnums ... I also never looked at him the same way again

If I told a girl that and she responded like he did I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole condom or not.

Not an indictment on you of course because I know I'm in the minority on this but with a person like that there is no telling what they have or will fuck in the future.

 

[jucurious]

Quick story ... I was seeing this guy a few years ago ... one day we were about to have sex and realized we had no condoms ... he was like we've known each other long enough to fuck raw ... I go to him "I haven't had my HIV test this year yet" ... this fool looked me straight in the eyes and said "it's ok ... I can tell you're clean ... now take your pants off" ... I was like I damn near had to fight my pants back on (not in a bad way) and I walked 20 minutes to the store and back to get some Magnums ... I also never looked at him the same way again

Lone....was the dick that good... I mean wtf

I'm sorry...if I tell a dude I haven't had my test, and he said I look clean...we not fuckin AT ALL...for all I know the bitch don't wash his hands

nasty ass

 

[LoneStar29]

Lone....was the dick that good... I mean wtf

I'm sorry...if I tell a dude I haven't had my test, and he said I look clean...we not fuckin AT ALL...for all I know the bitch don't wash his hands

nasty ass

Girl I'm a Scorpio and I was horny as hell and the 20 minute walk was worth it I don't give a fuck

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

Girl I'm a Scorpio and I was horny as hell and the 20 minute walk was worth it I don't give a fuck

 

[onyxfemme]

I dont know...In this day and age if a guy asked me to take a STD test I would look at him in admiration-like at least you care about your self-Now lets go get checked together

 

[Cleopatra_J]

Death from an STD?? Which one, chlamydia?? Herpes???

Easy solution when in doubt or if you're not permanently committed, keep wearing the condom. No unwanted kids. No diseases. (And why should she trust this dude just because he was tested a minute ago? He could've had 5 partners since the test.)

Um AIDS/HIV??? or did that STD not cross your mind?

And Herpes? Not curable...so its damn near like death since it damn near kills your sex life.


I wouldn't be offended at all if a guy asked me, I'd respond sure, "should I schedule our appointments at my doctor? when are you free?" Nothing wrong with being safe, mature adults.

OP, if the girl is sensitive about getting tested something isn't right in the water. Who would object to a test? If I'm screwing you we should be able to talk about all these things. she should be more offended if you don't ask... and like andy said, go with her..

 

[Blunt]

Um AIDS/HIV??? or did that STD not cross your mind?

Not talkin' about HIV, which is MORE than an STD.

And Herpes? Not curable...so its damn near like death since it damn near kills your sex life.

Not at all, unless you stopped kissing because you once got a cold sore on your lip at age 5. Around 50% of sexually active black adults have genital herpes.

I wouldn't be offended at all if a guy asked me, I'd respond sure, "should I schedule our appointments at my doctor? when are you free?" Nothing wrong with being safe, mature adults.

What would stop him from asking you to be tested every week, if he's the jealous type or there's no committment? And vice-versa?

OP, if the girl is sensitive about getting tested something isn't right in the water. Who would object to a test? If I'm screwing you we should be able to talk about all these things. she should be more offended if you don't ask... and like andy said, go with her..

It's in her own best interest to be tested (she's far more likely to get exposed to HIV from him than vice-versa), but she shouldn't be bullied into it. If she's been getting PAP Smears than she's likely been examined more often than he has, and would also probably notice irregularities and discharges. She's already messing with her body chemistry by going on the pill. What's HE doing that's so special? He doesn't even want to continue wearing a condom, which is the obvious solution to everyone's problems.

 

[B-Witty]

Hypothetical or wutever u want 2 call it but here is my 2 cents....

Whats the point of gettng tested when u with a partner? unless both parties are trustworthy which is NEVER... for instance yall both can go to the clinic and get tested and both be hiv negative... So the average person thinks ..YACE after fucking her with condomns for so long now i can go in this bitch raw now and every thing is good..... REAL TALK everything is all good for RIGHT NOW...!!!!!
but lets say 2 weeks later...... she got mad atchu becuz yall had a slight argument...... She then cheats on u and fucks some nigga raw who she had been fucking even before she met u raw becuz she was on the pill... lets say he fucked keisha pam and Kima raw as well and somebody gave somebody something..... maybe... i dont believe in fucking a bitch raw unless i plan on getting her pregnant thats the only purpose any nigga should ever fuck a shorty raw.....

Just listen thats all i ask... be safe out here these hoez is scandalous trust

 

[jjUSTAZZ]

No offense to be had if you ask for a STD test as long as you taking one as well.

 

[BrownTurd]

Bruh you know the rule. If she is not your wife you should ALWAYS were a condom. Blunt is right. Having kids is far more damaging. The risk of bringing a child into this world with out a family structure is selfish.

 

[UrBoSS]

i wouldnt really feel insulted, id actually have more respect for him for wanting to make sure we both good before taking that chance.

 

[Mo-Better]

There's nothing better than raw sex. But not at the risk of an STD. I say if they refuse it's time for you to start stepping.

It shouldn't be an insult you really should be pleased.

 

[mealstrom]

Death from an STD?? Which one, chlamydia?? Herpes???

Easy solution when in doubt or if you're not permanently committed, keep wearing the condom. No unwanted kids. No diseases. (And why should she trust this dude just because he was tested a minute ago? He could've had 5 partners since the test.)

My wife is taking a lot of classes human sexuality for her graduate program, so we talk about this stuff all the time.

Right now black women are BY FAR the fastest growing group of AIDS victims in the US. The studies they've done show it's because many black men think just like this. Combine that with the fact that the women trust that their men haven't been having unprotected sex with other women and you have a growing pandemic.

Studies have also shown that communities that have the largest birth rates in the US also have the fastest growing STD and HIV rates because the men refuse to wear condoms, and the women allow it.

Condoms aren't just for pregnancy folks. If you aren't responsible enough to be wrapping your shit up every time you should either be in a monogamous relationship, or you shouldn't be fucking. It's that simple. Otherwise you're potentially killing yourself and your partners.

 

[mealstrom]

Not talkin' about HIV, which is MORE than an STD.



Not at all, unless you stopped kissing because you once got a cold sore on your lip at age 5. Around 50% of sexually active black adults have genital herpes.

These are two of the most ignorant and dangerous comments I have ever heard.

HIV is a Sexually Transmitted Disease.

And the fact that 50% of sexually active black adults doesn't scare you at all?!?! What the fuck is wrong with you? The average for every other race in the country is 20% - that's 1 in 5. And you're okay with the fact that if you know 4 black men, 2 of them most likely have herpes? A PERMANENT, INCURABLE disease?

Where the fuck do you live, so I can be sure never to fuck anyone in your neighborhood? You are a dirty motherfucker for being okay with that shit, and every woman in the world should be scared as hell to sleep with you.

Shit like this is transmitted because people aren't mature enough to use a fucking condom, and aren't honest enough to tell the people they're sleeping with.

"It's okay baby, that burning means I love you! Those sores were a surprise just for you - I wanted to give you something to remember me by for the rest of your life. If you ever get married I want you to have a shitty sex life with your husband because I was too dirty and dishonest to tell you the truth."

 

[UrBoSS]

I think too often, especially amongst my generation (early 20s) it's almost taboo to discuss STDs/HIV. Especially in the black community where it's becoming more pervasive.

So put yourself in this scenario:

You've been seeing a guy for a few months, things get serious and you start sleeping together, but the guy always wears condoms. The guy wants to fuck raw with no condom and you don't mind using the contraceptive pill... except he then asks you to take an STD test.

Would you feel insulted? Would you feel like he doesn't trust you or that he possibly sees you as a slut?

That's basically the situation I'm in. I took an STD test last month and I'm clean, but this new female I'm with... I still want her to take a test, alot of peeps could be carrying something they don't know because no symptoms are shown for years. I'd rather be safe than sorry before I have sex with her raw.

So from a female perspective... is there a wrong or right way to ask?

Definitely not insulted. If anything I would be happy that a guy asked me that bc it shows where his head is at. I should hope a dude wouldn't feel insulted if I asked either. You don't have to have slept with hundreds of people to get an STD, all it takes is one person, and that person may not have even had that many partners but if just one of them is infected...well you already know.

Idk if there's a wrong or right way to ask. Just come out with it, it's your health and possibly your life at risk there's nothing wrong with being safe. It shows you got a good head on your shoulders.

 

[UrBoSS]

You should worry more about pregnancy than STDs. An unwanted child will be far more damaging to your (and his/her) life. Wear a condom while she learns how to take the pills, and her body adjusts. (And don't assume those pills are gonna work, especially if she's never been on the program before and could mess up.)

Got to disagree slightly on this. An STD is far more damaging, even though both of these situations would be carried with you for life. No one wants to endure an abortion but that is still an option to the problem. Not at all STD's can be cured so you're screwed, for lack of a better word.

 

[UrBoSS]

Quick story ... I was seeing this guy a few years ago ... one day we were about to have sex and realized we had no condoms ... he was like we've known each other long enough to fuck raw ... I go to him "I haven't had my HIV test this year yet" ... this fool looked me straight in the eyes and said "it's ok ... I can tell you're clean ... now take your pants off" ... I was like I damn near had to fight my pants back on (not in a bad way) and I walked 20 minutes to the store and back to get some Magnums ... I also never looked at him the same way again

See now I would have told dude to walk his ass to the store and when he got back I wouldn't let his ass in bc that was a retarded ass answer. Is that his answer to every chic then? How can you tell someone is internally clean by their exterior???