Just a question...Men on SOL..

[onyxfemme]

This question is to the men, because I figure who can better tell me about them then....Well..Them!
Explain to me about the brothers who hate on or simply just hate women who are as the old southern folks would say "about something".
I have seen men pass up hard working, smart, educated and loyal women for those that lack any brains, cooth or any real talent..I mean other than their ass.

I notice that these men tend to be those w/ businesses or hustles or sometimes just a decent job. It is almost as if they dont want someone...On their page or they want someone who they can look like a "king" too....But in reality if a woman is YOUR woman and you are HER man that he is HER KING?

Explain-I will also post the flip side of this which is about inteligent women and deadbeat men.

Discuss and Enlighten me



**Disclaimer keep it intelligent**
​

 

[Hollywoodheat]

There's no definite answer to this question. I think a lot of guys can't handle a challenge. I don't mean that as an insult the way a lot of people would, but a positive challenge, a competitive growth. Many people just have narrow ideas of what they want or the way things should be.

 

[r3d DaWn]

I know from experience, and from my friends, that as we mature, we will go after the type of woman you describe and the like, but for most, during that "growing up age", we go after the girl with the body, the face, the no attitude, because it's fun, the challenge isn't as great, most times then not the woman doesn't care about the bs he brings, or the game he is trying to run, and men like that. As we mature, I think most, not all of course, move from that to the woman with the motiviation, desire to be the best she can, the friend and the lover if you will, the goal oriented female. It's a phase I think most men run through. I know sum never grow out of it, and many men lie, cheat, etc, etc, but there are others that do learn from the mistakes they have made, and try to live life respecting a woman for who she is, not just how she looks, or what "assets" she carries... When men feel it's time to find "the one", all of us usually want the smart, beautiful, hard working woman with goals you describe, not the bimbo... My 2 cents on it at least....

 

[onyxfemme]

realness and intelligence.....Thanks for your replies!

 

[LeroyDibiase]

will address when sobered,.

 

[P.L.]

I can only speak for myself, but i have always been attracted to strong and hard working women with goals. I feel that if she can stand alone, then we can come together as one and really go far. If i'm about to f-up she can catch me and the other way around. If my credit is good, then so should yours, and if it ain't, then WE have some work to do. We can build a better life together, our kids can have the best that we couldn't have. Those other guys must be intimidated by a strong woman, and they know she won't have to put up with the B.S. Now on another note, that woman should know when to let somethings go and not be so strong and stubborn to the point he gives up because she won't compromise.

 

[BigUnc]

There's not much for me to add regarding the comments already said by the previous men. Just subsets of the main groupings they speak of and that personality strengths and weaknesses play a part. One cannot forget the life experiences good and bad in shaping their opinions also from childhood onward.

A person just has to be honest with themselves as to the type of mate they desire. I have always gravitated toward intelligent, outspoken,and independent black women. I would be lying if I said I always chose right but those characteristics were evident as part of the initial attraction.

 

[sean69]

"Hate on"
This fucking ambiguous phrase irritates the hell out of me.

Not trying to be negative or derail the thread but this is a belabored leading rhetorical question with an obvious answer.

 

[DV8ed]

Sometimes its because of upbringing. For example, I have a relative that grew up in an abusive household where his mother was always starting shit with someone. As a result, 99% of the women he messes with do the same thing. He fucks over the good ones, but will stick with a ghetto-assed bitch in a heartbeat. His mother set the pattern for him and it's what he's now attracted to. Just like women seek a father figure, men seek out a woman like their mothers. We all tend to be products of the environments we were raised & nurtured in.

 

[Lord Vicious]

I can only speak for myself.But i can't hang out with a woman if she doesn't have book smarts.Looks are cool and all but they fade and there's nothing sexier than a woman who can hold a conversation.I mean i don't date or anything like that right now because i'm trying to raise my babies but when i do have time to conversate or hang out with someone she has got to be smart.I'm not saying she has to have it all but she has to have some type of ambition and intelligence.


Peace.

 

[dHustla]

Niggas like what they like.

The man might feel like it's more important for him to have a nice piece of ass at that point in his life.

Let he be no-good. Let her not be able to cook. Let her OUTRAGEOUS in the sack. He might just want to abuse a FINE ASS WOMAN's body after work or whenever he wants to be bothered.

 

[p5ych3]

I don't know, but i'll try. Maybe the guys see this type of women as a release from
whats going on around them everyday. A play thing so to speak. Personally i find the
hard working, smart, educated and loyal women easier to deal with.

 

[SickMyDuck]

There's no definite answer to this question. I think a lot of guys can't handle a challenge. I don't mean that as an insult the way a lot of people would, but a positive challenge, a competitive growth. Many people just have narrow ideas of what they want or the way things should be.

C/S

Plus, I think some cats may be sort of intimidated by the successful woman. He may feel as though she is only gonna want a man that is her equal on a professional and educational level... so why even bother trying to approach her? Although, I've heard many successful women say that they really don't have any professional/educational requirements, as long as he is confident, attractive, works hard, and treats her right.

I don't think there's one concrete answer to this question, just depends on who ya ask... because at the end of the day, most men really don't have any rules that are written in stone when it comes to what type of woman to approach... 'cause if she got a phatty, all bets are off!

 

[Hellfish]

Men don't pass up on the type of women you describe. Shiftless lazy ass negros on the other hand will opt to go with the easy conquest. Some people just don't want to put in the work to attain quality women. On the flip side I also believe that women who have been labeled as strong, independent and hard working have been painted as combative, egotistical and bitter. You can thank the media, feminism, and bitter men for that. Some brothers then become hesitant to want to get involved with women of that breed, believing that type of woman will only bring stress to his doorstep.

 

[Solar7]

If a man expects to attract and maintain a great woman, then he has the mind for it from jump. If a man either doesn't know what to expect or has low expectations (or maybe not even low, i'll call it "community based" expectations) then how can he know what he is seeing when he see's it?

Saying a man wants a woman that he can be a King to is just saying that he wants someone who looks at him in a different light than all the rest. Same goes for women. A woman comes into a relationship expecting a lot, but what does a man expect? Shit, for some, a down ass woman got your back no matter what. So whats more important? It depends on what a man expects.

But as I see it, a woman by any description, status, education level, whatever...can be just about everything to a man if she can figure out what Esteem means in that particular relationship. Maybe it aint even close to a relationship as in Big Time, but still. She needs to value what he does, and he is not exempt from Esteem either...self or otherwise.

My wife and I are on the same page...after 17 years we should be. But I can hope that she still sees me differently than anyone else, without having to be a damn King. My wife is my Equal. Thats what I expect. But just like I live in my world, just fine, so do these men you are speaking on.

I hate it when this damn thing times out when you are in a thread

 

[Adam Knows]

Explain to me about the brothers who hate on or simply just hate women who are as the old southern folks would say "about something".
I have seen men pass up hard working, smart, educated and loyal women for those that lack any brains, cooth or any real talent..I mean other than their ass.

I notice that these men tend to be those w/ businesses or hustles or sometimes just a decent job. It is almost as if they dont want someone...On their page or they want someone who they can look like a "king" too....But in reality if a woman is YOUR woman and you are HER man that he is HER KING?

​

it's not hate it's natural selection. i posted a similar response for lonestar not too long ago.

a large number of the woman u described(hard working, smart, educated, etc) also bring drama, headache, unnecessary hardship to a relationship, ergo a power struggle. If i have everything going good, why do i want to be with someone that's going to bring difficulty and stryfe to it? my life isn't so much about being challenged anymore, the last thing i would have done is brought in an element who thinks she wears the pants. you know how many are quick to call the black man with a lot of money arrogant or stuck up? it's not that, we just know what we don't want to deal with, and if your demeanor displays that it's time to keep on keepin on.

also another large chunk of that has to do with attractiveness. despite what women "say" they are attracted to what a man provides. well the same goes for men, they are attracted to what a woman provides but not materialistic (unless it's some broke new age nicca), but more on the physical level.

and it's funny you said well to do successful w/ businesses etc., cause i said this years ago:


if you earn:

min wage - 10/hr = hoodrats,

11/hr-15/hr = hoodrats, college females, "avg" single black females, low income hispanics trailer type white female

16/hr - 22/hr = all of the above plus an upgrade on black women appearance wise, single working hispanics females, upgrade on "ok" white women, maybe an asian

60k/year = all of the above plus more asian women, attractive white women, black women rating 7-9,

75k-150k/year = white women rating a 8-9, black women rating a 9-10, hispanic women rating a 6-8 indian women rating a 8-9

151k and up = any fucking female you want.

and i'm telling u from experience that's true.

 

[Noir]

I don't think that most men "hate on" women who are successful, or are trying to be "about something". Those that do are fearful, jealous, and INTIMIDATED by a woman who seems to achieving their goals while the male feels that they have not or cannot be on par with them.

Also, I think that most men want a woman who are "about something" and on par with them. Men that choose a woman "below them", do so for the above reasons and have an ego that makes them believe they have to be on top, or mistakenly believe that by being dominant over their mate, they are "the man".

However, why do we see men (and women) with their seemingly opposite? The successful person with the hoodrat or the thug? The same reason why we read trash novels, watch bad slasher flicks, and eat junk food when we know we should read, watch, and eat more engaging fare -- PREFERENCE AND VARIETY.

 

[onyxfemme]

Wow! intertesting and mature responses! minus 1
But thanks menfolk! I hope you dont mind but I may be posting these responses on another site-minus your sign in names.

I love real talk w/ intelligent men.

 

[Adam Knows]

Wow! intertesting and mature responses! minus 1
But thanks menfolk! I hope you dont mind but I may be posting these responses on another site-minus your sign in names.

I love real talk w/ intelligent men.

Lol @ -1

If you don't like the answer why ask the question?

Truth be told there are only 11 bgol contributors who can even answer this question from the viewpoint you asked from, drayonis, jd walker, mercedes benz, myself and a few others.

You "generally" asking these questions is the same as me asking women who were never pregnant what's it like to give birth

 

[onyxfemme]

I really dont know what you are talking about right now-
If I didnt like the answers I wouldnt have responded the way I did previously giving kudos to who I did.

Wow! intertesting and mature responses! minus 1
But thanks menfolk! I hope you dont mind but I may be posting these responses on another site-minus your sign in names.

I love real talk w/ intelligent men.

Dont derail my thread.
And the minus 1 is because I didnt feel it added to anything to the topic. This isnt about the minus 1-you and I know that-
Please keep it moving and thank you for answering as you previously did.

Lol @ -1

If you don't like the answer why ask the question?

Truth be told there are only 11 bgol contributors who can even answer this question from the viewpoint you asked from, drayonis, jd walker, mercedes benz, myself and a few others.

You "generally" asking these questions is the same as me asking women who were never pregnant what's it like to give birth

 

[Adam Knows]

I really dont know what you are talking about right now-
If I didnt like the answers I wouldnt have responded the way I did previously giving kudos to who I did.


Dont derail my thread.
And the minus 1 is because I didnt feel it added to anything to the topic. This isnt about the minus 1-you and I know that-
Please keep it moving and thank you for answering as you previously did.

"sweety" you derailed your own topic when you made your comment so let's not cast aspersions when your the guilty party yourself. You just didn't like the answer
which is your right, BUT you felt the need to negatively point it out. So don't go turning hypocrite on me. Again.

 

[onyxfemme]

Dude you are so funny 2 me-straight joker..

Call me what you want, but you wont call me giving a shit about you..But you came in here right? You just had to find something to say at me.... Too cute.
Post on "Da Don" it's entertaining!
But please stick to the initial topic at hand-
Hugz?

"sweety" you derailed your own topic when you made your comment so let's not cast aspersions when your the guilty party yourself. You just didn't like the answer
which is your right, BUT you felt the need to negatively point it out. So don't go turning hypocrite on me. Again.

 

[CT's Finest]

http://74.206.185.137/board/showthread.php?t=374071

^^^ Dating woes of successful women?



Anyway Puma, to answer your question I don't know why someone would pass up high quality to settle for less. I want a woman who is "about something" and has "her stuff together". Those are the only kind of women I want around me. The future Mrs. CT's Finest will be that kind of woman...

 

[Adam Knows]

Dude you are so funny 2 me-straight joker..

Call me what you want, but you wont call me giving a shit about you..But you came in here right? You just had to find something to say at me.... Too cute.
Post on "Da Don" it's entertaining!
But please stick to the initial topic at hand-
Hugz?

Riiiiiight

Lady I'm not here to argue wit u. U asked a question I gave an answer based upon what I see and experience, and u turned 5th grade childlike with a petty response. But you don't see that do you? No, of course not. So please by all means be amused however u see fit.

 

[onyxfemme]

Thanks dont you know I never looked at that thread?
And your future Mrs WILL be all of that and more-You deserve nothing but the best and you will have it.

Thanks for answering this question!

I guess I dont get it-You can have it all and some do but they still go for the lessor...I have always thought it was to boost their ego. But I have been enlightened as I originally requested

http://74.206.185.137/board/showthread.php?t=374071

^^^ Dating woes of successful women?



Anyway Puma, to answer your question I don't know why someone would pass up high quality to settle for less. I want a woman who is "about something" and has "her stuff together". Those are the only kind of women I want around me. The future Mrs. CT's Finest will be that kind of woman...

 

[onyxfemme]

5th grade to who? Dude I havent said anything about you
Honestly none of this is/were about you...Which is why this is amusing to me.

And what you dont see is that you insulted quite a few brothers by saying there were only 11 SOL/BGOL contributors that could answer this question.

I asked/stated:

I notice that these men tend to be those w/ businesses or hustles or sometimes just a decent job.

You said:

Truth be told there are only 11 bgol contributors who can even answer this question from the viewpoint you asked from, drayonis, jd walker, mercedes benz, myself and a few others.

Are you saying that you and the ones you mentioned are the only ones who have a business, hustles or even a decent job? What about those that posted?

I will stay amused because I really think you thought my minus-1 was about you and it wasnt. Look through the answers/replies...Which one did not answer my question? And I am not even mad at dude, It just didnt answer my question
He's alright in my book...

Riiiiiight

Lady I'm not here to argue wit u. U asked a question I gave an answer based upon what I see and experience, and u turned 5th grade childlike with a petty response. But you don't see that do you? No, of course not. So please by all means be amused however u see fit.

 

[Adam Knows]

I guess I dont get it-You can have it all and some do but they still go for the lessor...I have always thought it was to boost their ego. But I have been enlightened as I originally requested

I don't think its ever about finding the lessor or having one's ego stroked.

The best way of describing it is having puzzle pieces that fit.

Onyx, if you were that successful person that you described as certain men u stated in your original post, do you want a puzzle piece of a man that fits in your world meaning they fill in those spaces/needs to complete/compliment you or a wrong fitting piece that gives you nothing but the knowledge that having that piece can do nothing for you except the idea that you do have it and you think you can make it fit in place.

A hard working about her business woman may well be the prize catch to your everyday man. Which is why I said u need to direct this question to those kats I mentioned. All of us will give u different answers but all us will be speaking from experience.

 

[onyxfemme]

I see your point sort of-
Just kidding-Naaah I do... And this makes perfect sense.

I don't think its ever about finding the lessor or having one's ego stroked.

The best way of describing it is having puzzle pieces that fit.

Onyx, if you were that successful person that you described as certain men u stated in your original post, do you want a puzzle piece of a man that fits in your world meaning they fill in those spaces/needs to complete/compliment you or a wrong fitting piece that gives you nothing but the knowledge that having that piece can do nothing for you except the idea that you do have it and you think you can make it fit in place.

A hard working about her business woman may well be the prize catch to your everyday man. Which is why I said u need to direct this question to those kats I mentioned. All of us will give u different answers but all us will be speaking from experience.

 

[CT's Finest]

Thanks dont you know I never looked at that thread?
And your future Mrs WILL be all of that and more-You deserve nothing but the best and you will have it.

Thanks for answering this question!

I guess I dont get it-You can have it all and some do but they still go for the lessor...I have always thought it was to boost their ego. But I have been enlightened as I originally requested

Please check out the thread, read the article and share your thoughts and opinions when you have some time...Thanks for the compliments and well wishes when it comes to what I deserve in a woman. I think it says something when other people, especially women can say that about you. I appreciate that...

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Thanks dont you know I never looked at that thread?

Funny that, some people looked at that thread and didn't read it, yet posted on the topic.

Welp, no need to answer this question.

 

[Mo-Better]

This question is to the men, because I figure who can better tell me about them then....Well..Them!
Explain to me about the brothers who hate on or simply just hate women who are as the old southern folks would say "about something".
I have seen men pass up hard working, smart, educated and loyal women for those that lack any brains, cooth or any real talent..I mean other than their ass.

I notice that these men tend to be those w/ businesses or hustles or sometimes just a decent job. It is almost as if they dont want someone...On their page or they want someone who they can look like a "king" too....But in reality if a woman is YOUR woman and you are HER man that he is HER KING?

Explain-I will also post the flip side of this which is about inteligent women and deadbeat men.

Discuss and Enlighten me

**Disclaimer keep it intelligent**
​

Onyx, to quickly sum it up its called, "thinking with the wrong head."

But sometimes what you see in a woman (or even yourself) maybe the last thing we as men want. Example: An ex of mine who's financially very well off would love for me to give it another shot with her. But every time were together I'm unhappy. Why? I have no peace of mind with her. She's one of those types who always has to prove her point. Yet always needs to be reassured about her status within the relationship. Then comes off among others as a strong self assured woman who's as sweet as honey. Many wonder why I can never commit, they simply don't understand. But they never seem to ask why others haven't committed to her.

Then there are men who may prefer not to be in committed relationships. Women as you described tend to want more. They want that nice home, kids, cars and you with them for the rest of their lives. Sometimes we just want to have fun with no commitment the same as you women.

As for those on hate trips I have no comment or clue.

 

[onyxfemme]

Ummm what? I never posted in that thread-that he posted the link to.
Was there another thread similar?

Funny that, some people looked at that thread and didn't read it, yet posted on the topic.

Welp, no need to answer this question.

 

[onyxfemme]

Is that the same ex?
Hmmm thinking w/ the wrong head....Yep that sums it up!
Thanks dear one!

Onyx, to quickly sum it up its called, "thinking with the wrong head."

But sometimes what you see in a woman (or even yourself) maybe the last thing we as men want. Example: An ex of mine who's financially very well off would love for me to give it another shot with her. But every time were together I'm unhappy. Why? I have no peace of mind with her. She's one of those types who always has to prove her point. Yet always needs to be reassured about her status within the relationship. Then comes off among others as a strong self assured woman who's as sweet as honey. Many wonder why I can never commit, they simply don't understand. But they never seem to ask why others haven't committed to her.

Then there are men who may prefer not to be in committed relationships. Women as you described tend to want more. They want that nice home, kids, cars and you with them for the rest of their lives. Sometimes we just want to have fun with no commitment the same as you women.

As for those on hate trips I have no comment or clue.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

You quoted me but said some people? Did someone else do that too?
And..Shut up-I didnt realize which thread it was when I posted-

And where the hell is your answer to this question at hand?

Nah, I don't think you even commented on that thread. I was making fun of Jo(lin Powell, since she don't read that shit).

Maybe I'll answer later.

 

[onyxfemme]

Nah, I don't think you even commented on that thread. I was making fun of Jo(lin Powell, since she don't read that shit).

Maybe I'll answer later.

I edited my post afterwards my bad-I was confused (image that)
Ok I got it now-