Have Black men lost the art of seduction?
- Thread starter bigirl
- Start date
It's true.
DISCLAIMER: I do not mean all women or all men, so please ----------->
Both sexes appeal to the same things just in different ways. Women, for the most part, appeal to a man's heart through his dick and men, for the most part, appeal to a woman's vagina through her heart.
And no, it's not black or white, that's a generality.
showing off cars and watches and dumb shit is not seduction
I don't see you all down at the homeless shelters sweating the men.
Let's get totally honest!
LoneStar29
Banned
It's hard to seduce men who sometimes say things like "I don't kiss" ... or try to fuck you the very first date you go on with them ... people can say "oh it's cuz of us women blahblahblah" all they want but the bottom line is that some Black men don't even wanna get seduced ... they just wanna get fucked
I don't even remember if I commented in here. Either way, I don't think so but I do usually date older men so maybe thats why.
so to prove a point you go wayyyyyyyy to the right?
no middle ground? u know regular guy who dresses nice but isn't flashy...it is possible
true
I agree. Your car example is way to on point, and I'm going to have to bust a few female bubbles round this muthafucka with that example next time this topic comes up on my side of things.
What I WANNA know is, WHY ARE YOU FEMALES DEALING WITH LAME MEN in the first place? Your responsible for your own actions. If all the men around you suck, then your probably LAME too, because thats who YOU keep choosing. If HE won't seduce you, then give him NO PLAY. If I could get the panties without seducing a thang I wouldn't either, because your probably not WORTH IT. Fuck all that, "I'm nice, smart, caring" shit y'all be poppin' because the truth of the matter is, if you want a DECENT man then you gotta be NICE, SMART, CARING ANYWAY. Mean, DUMB bitches don't get men or respect, so if you ain't all that, dudes ain't seducing shit PERIOD POINT BLANK. Only WIFEY material can be seduced, and what I've noticed is, MOST OF the females that claim to be "WIFEY MATERIAL" AREN'T anywhere close to "Wifey Material". If you want me to be on that 100% ginuwine shit, then you gotta be ABLE TO: COOK (4 real), Conversate about REAL SHIT and not what happened on TYRAs Show, understand how the world works and USE LOGICALLY SENSE at ALL times...BUT THATS just me and my 2 cents.
LoneStar29
Banned
^^^Damn lol
Here is another revelation for you. When I bought my Benz it was not to seduce any women. I bought it because I always wanted one and wanted to get it out of my system. The reason why I bought it at that particular time in my life was because my old car broke down and I was tired of buying old looking unreliable car and wanted the feeling of luxury and success and most importantly I could afford it.
The purchase had nothing to do with attracting females. To be honest I don't remember getting any play because of it. I had a girlfriend and spent most of the time working.
I still stand by what I said though. I don't consider you a hoe because you like living in your neighborhood and like the people from your neighborhood and the people in your neighborhood all drive nice cars and if someone doesn't drive a nice car it is highly improbable that he can afford to live in your neighborhood so your subconscious would cut that dude off before he could ever think of trying to holla at ya. In fact your subconscious would make you are not near anywhere those people who don't drive nice cars are.
You get the message I am trying to convey. I am not saying you are a materialistic hoe. I am just saying, the seduction begins with you adding up the +s and being blind to the -s. Here you go with a little list. You bragging to your friend about your new interest.
Ok. Totally seduced by the +s. and you dreaming bout the getting close now. Then he comes and pick you up in a hoopty and take you down to the hood where you hearing sirens and gunshot like noise (car backfired -heheheh). You reach the crib and he has roommates and wants to get busy while all his roommates are there and you can't make noise like you want to because you don't want them looking at you a certain way when you come back out.
So after a while you say fuck this shit. "I'm an independent woman. I work hard to avoid places like these. This dude need to get his shit together quick or I bounce" or you say, "I don't have time for this shit."
The purchase had nothing to do with attracting females. To be honest I don't remember getting any play because of it. I had a girlfriend and spent most of the time working.
I still stand by what I said though. I don't consider you a hoe because you like living in your neighborhood and like the people from your neighborhood and the people in your neighborhood all drive nice cars and if someone doesn't drive a nice car it is highly improbable that he can afford to live in your neighborhood so your subconscious would cut that dude off before he could ever think of trying to holla at ya. In fact your subconscious would make you are not near anywhere those people who don't drive nice cars are.
You get the message I am trying to convey. I am not saying you are a materialistic hoe. I am just saying, the seduction begins with you adding up the +s and being blind to the -s. Here you go with a little list. You bragging to your friend about your new interest.
Ok. Totally seduced by the +s. and you dreaming bout the getting close now. Then he comes and pick you up in a hoopty and take you down to the hood where you hearing sirens and gunshot like noise (car backfired -heheheh). You reach the crib and he has roommates and wants to get busy while all his roommates are there and you can't make noise like you want to because you don't want them looking at you a certain way when you come back out.
So after a while you say fuck this shit. "I'm an independent woman. I work hard to avoid places like these. This dude need to get his shit together quick or I bounce" or you say, "I don't have time for this shit."
showing off cars and watches and dumb shit is not seduction
ok, OP (BIGIRL). I want to know what you consider seduction. I want you to tell us how your Mr. Fabulous seduced you the first time and how he continues to seduce you. I want to know so I can use it to seduce some new virtuous woman like you. I need to deprogram myself from the materialistic ways I am so used to especially now that I am unemployed (well not employed by the man), not well endowed financially anymore, don't really want to cut my nappy hair or shave my nappy beard and I like wearing my old jeans that looks dirty and nothing flashy. I actually like looking like a bum.
The word is "converse." Sorry...it gets to me EVERY TIME!!!
Don'r you know this is how words get added to the dictionary. Enough people use it or leaders use it and it gets added. Don't get man cause your diction is bigger or cause people just want to let their hair down and be hood.
Didn't Bi Girl pose an extreme? Her hyperbole was just as outlandish.
Seduction is something that men and women get put in jail for these days. “An adult is accused of seducing a minor.” Seduction denotes control. “I didn’t want to, but he seduced me.” In reality, it is rather difficult to seduce a grown woman. Especially if she has bought in to what Hollywood, the music industry and so called romance novels are throwing her way. What ever happen to finding someone with common morality and goals, and then building a life together? I know, too boring.
seducing doesn't put them in jail its WHO they are seducing and issues with POWER/COERCION
difficult does not mean impossible, some are easier to seduce than others while some are harder.
so do you believe that seduction has any place in the forming and continuing of your relationships?
No.
Ladies im going to answer this thing the best way I know how. Im from Trinidad originally and I noticed even in my youth that most american men are not romantic . Being romantic has nothing to do with the woman so its not your fault. Let me explain .I am a die hard romantic I love to seduce and be seduced but heres the thing.I even have a name romantically perverted ... but thats another thread......If you are like me thats who you are inside ,its a way about you and you have to be strong inside to be that way without a care what people think. Most men are unsure of themselves and use the cars and clothes to distract from their inner unhappiness and baggage. I was the dude in slacks at the Manhattan proper in queens while most were in boots and hoodies . I heard alot of trash until the guys realized that i had become a favorite among the ladies then they all want to buy drinks and thats my dawg etc. Weather a lady is ghetto or a princess , fine or ugly she gets the same treatment but that sex on the first night thing and the no kissing thing are symptoms of a non romantic man . I've had two or three one night stands and they were treated like ladies ... cause you had to be on my quality radar to get a bite .So even if you are looking for a one night stand that is not an excuse to not have some romance. Met at the club , decide to hook up .... ran to the crib for a cd player wine and some candles imported cheese (romantics and scorpio men keep party favors on call )and do the thing . In the morning wake up first and bring her breakfast thank her for the night and there you go . It is I repeat not your fault.
Hi, my name is Ju, I don't think we've met. I just wanted to formally welcome you to this side on behalf of the ladies of SOL
but seriously, interesting response. question:so you mentioned being romantic being apart of the person and who they are inside...was that something you saw in your household or did it form in some other way?
Hi, my name is Ju, I don't think we've met. I just wanted to formally welcome you to this side on behalf of the ladies of SOL
but seriously, interesting response. question:so you mentioned being romantic being apart of the person and who they are inside...was that something you saw in your household or did it form in some other way?
Really I come from a long line or womanizers but I guess I was just different. The men in my family call me captain save a ho but they cant keep a relationship including my father .I don't think the hunt is the end all like most men for me the forever part is the sexy part. Keeping a body in a bed is easy keeping her happy forever takes a real strength. I think anyway...... Plus thinking up new uses for kitchen utensils is always fun
Hi, my name is Ju, I don't think we've met. I just wanted to formally welcome you to this side on behalf of the ladies of SOL
Ju, did you forget that easy?!? I AM THE OFFICIAL WELCOMER OF NEW COMERS TO SOL!!! ME, ME, ME!!!!!!!!
Carry on...
Don't you know it's all OUR fault BG?
When we meet men that no longer want to go out on dates ... that no longer want to put in the time to pursue us cuz he can meet another "hoe" that will give it up faster ... that wanna fuck the first night we meet them ... it's all OUR fault ... you didn't know that BG???
Cuz if WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE were better women than OBVIOUSLY that will make them better men ... it's all our fault BG so you can close this thread now
<-----is on a tirade right now
Sad thing is that a lot of men just want to skip getting to know a woman & get right to it. I have even had friends of mine ask me, "So when are you gonna hit?" And I was like, "Damn man! We just went out one time!" I for one am the type of guy who likes to actually know a woman very well before getting some. To me, that is the last thing a woman & I can connect with. I'm at the point now that a meaningful connection with a quality woman means much more to me than just getting in her pants, or whatever she is wearing below the waist... lol! So to make a long story short, it is not women's fault.
Hey, if a man tells you he doesn't kiss, dump his ass immediately. It just means he doesn't kiss you. He has no other plan that does not involve him fucking you, and that will be about it. So if you want something a little more intimate, and long term, make sure he kisses you the way you like to be kissed.
LoneStar29
Banned
When you connect with someone that makes the sex sooooo much better ... the connection actually makes you want to please the person
I know that is a foreign concept to some that look at sex as masturbation with someone else there
And it makes you feel more comfortable to do alot more things
On the real, I really think a lot of women fall short in the seducing area.
Here's my theory:
Men are naturally hunters. Women are naturally nurturers/prey. Men don't care what they hunt because it's all about eating anyway. Women care who their hunters are. Therefore, women has to show angles that attract the type of hunter they want. However, so many women are following other women they forget what the hunter really wants. The rest of the women that stray from the pack ends up doing the right thing, yet they meet the wrong hunter. That hunter chews them up, and basically vomits their dreams away. The decayed psyche of that woman becomes symbol for other women to run away from their naturally identity. With that happening, some women start hunting other women, and the men goes hungry. The men starts doing different tactics, stealing from the female hunters. The men kills a part of himself to adapt to his surroundings. He becomes ineffective hunters because he forgets how to hunt, because the prey do not want to be prey anymore. So the hunters settles for the weak prey. Very unhappy with his life, he settles with an unnatural situation of dealing a chick that has no challenge whatsoever.
*this drank got me going....*
Here's my theory:
Men are naturally hunters. Women are naturally nurturers/prey. Men don't care what they hunt because it's all about eating anyway. Women care who their hunters are. Therefore, women has to show angles that attract the type of hunter they want. However, so many women are following other women they forget what the hunter really wants. The rest of the women that stray from the pack ends up doing the right thing, yet they meet the wrong hunter. That hunter chews them up, and basically vomits their dreams away. The decayed psyche of that woman becomes symbol for other women to run away from their naturally identity. With that happening, some women start hunting other women, and the men goes hungry. The men starts doing different tactics, stealing from the female hunters. The men kills a part of himself to adapt to his surroundings. He becomes ineffective hunters because he forgets how to hunt, because the prey do not want to be prey anymore. So the hunters settles for the weak prey. Very unhappy with his life, he settles with an unnatural situation of dealing a chick that has no challenge whatsoever.
*this drank got me going....*
No. However, I do believe that black men do what's necessary to get the desired result.
If a man is observant, he has a very general idea of what type of chic he is dealing with in the beginning. A walk may not be a dead giveaway, dress may still be drawing too much of a judgement, but when a women speaks then holds a oonversation, he knows what will be necessary to hit once, hit repeatedly or make his wife.
Now, women are not easier today by default. I believe in a rush to be equal with men, (it is appropriate in some areas) and the lack of parenting, some women just don't get a fair shake. When a figure that is not a woman is present as an authority, intrinsicly, there is a presence of self that is created and that woman may take more effort in her adult years to be "had."
Now, there are exceptions to every rule. I know the board goes for "my poin of view" rather than "a point of view." As for myself, I never lost the art. The chase is discouraging sometimes because not a lot of people, including my boys, do it anymore. It is fun, though, as long as a man does not detect he is getting played. They used to call this "courting" in the South.
Anyway, that's my wooden nickel.
If a man is observant, he has a very general idea of what type of chic he is dealing with in the beginning. A walk may not be a dead giveaway, dress may still be drawing too much of a judgement, but when a women speaks then holds a oonversation, he knows what will be necessary to hit once, hit repeatedly or make his wife.
Now, women are not easier today by default. I believe in a rush to be equal with men, (it is appropriate in some areas) and the lack of parenting, some women just don't get a fair shake. When a figure that is not a woman is present as an authority, intrinsicly, there is a presence of self that is created and that woman may take more effort in her adult years to be "had."
Now, there are exceptions to every rule. I know the board goes for "my poin of view" rather than "a point of view." As for myself, I never lost the art. The chase is discouraging sometimes because not a lot of people, including my boys, do it anymore. It is fun, though, as long as a man does not detect he is getting played. They used to call this "courting" in the South.
Anyway, that's my wooden nickel.
How many women want to be seduced. . .or do they want a seductive thug?
Don't you know it's all OUR fault BG?
When we meet men that no longer want to go out on dates ... that no longer want to put in the time to pursue us cuz he can meet another "hoe" that will give it up faster ... that wanna fuck the first night we meet them ... it's all OUR fault ... you didn't know that BG???
Cuz if WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE were better women than OBVIOUSLY that will make them better men ... it's all our fault BG so you can close this thread now
<-----is on a tirade right now
I have to salute you LoneStar this thread could've closed after your comment above. It is the fault of today's woman. If you want more from the men you meet you have to establish that fact right from the start.
The art is not lost but in many instances its no longer necessary. I'm not sure when or why women lowered their standards but it did happen. Doesn't have to remain that way but its up to you women to demand better.
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