what do you think?
?? for the ladies: is a good man really THAT hard to find?? (Tonya says it is...)
- Thread starter clayizaiken
- Start date
uhhh this video was toooooo long for noooooooo reason....she clearly like hearing herself speak....sayin cliche shit
LoneStar29
Banned
That's how her vids normally are ... thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat's why I didn't bother watching it
As for the OP's question ... I do believe that it is hard to find a good man but I think the way some of us ladies carry ourselves is part of the problem as well
Good observation, many do not think like this
Bravo! I'm shocked someone was willing to acknowledge that some ladies and their conduct are partially to blame. Then to have another sista concur ...
Outstanding to you both!
BTW Tonya's videos need the Colin treatment.
true
i've been sayin this for a while...it's getting harder to find good mates (male or female) b/c of cycle negativity people are being exposed to:
1) teachings [ do's and don'ts by hurt ppl]
2) personal experience [being hurt and never bouncing back
3) example [negative examples in your environment
it's like a cold...one person has it and they pass it along, some ppl are more immune to it and some are not.
i always find it interesting that a good portion of ppl who have been / feel hurt defend themselves by turning into/doing what hurt them.
sometimes i wish everyone can just STOP and start over but i know that aint possible so ehh
u just gotta remember HARD does not equal IMPOSSIBLE
Hell, maybe people don't even need to just STOP and start over, but consider someone else's feelings for a change (the person who you're in a relationship WITH) more so than yours BEFORE you start something with them...
I used to do this exercise with boyfriends about expectations. We would go over what expectations we had of each other, and see if they fit into the "model image" of what we anticipated of the other. 9 times out of 10, it wasn't so...but, I don't think people take the time to TALK and digress about those matters...men and women these days are so quick to want to "jump in the bed," "make it official," etc rather than spend that quality time ironing out those details before it gets to hectic...
that is ideal but we live in an immature microwave society
plus ppl will jump into relationships w/ ppl they KNOW aint good for them or that it wont work out of lust or delusions of granduer...but they are setting up themselves for failure which will continue to strengthen their belief that there aren't any good ppl (self-fulfilling prophecy)
immediate gratification
less talking, more assumptions
sex/kids as a seam of the relationship
or the sayings
yeah i care about u, but if it came down to u and i, imma do me
u prolly doing dirt anyway
what they wont know wont hurt them
damn all that, i need to get some
maybe they will change / they wont do that with me
i was raised not to trust a man/woman who...
well im not gonna be no simp/simpstress
ppl have gotten to the point that u don't really meet them, u meet their representative b/c they don't know/understand/afraid to share the real them. and they pass this shit on to their children, and taint their friends. kinda sad when you think about it.
I wish someone would have told me this before I was decided to get married-This is very true...very true indeed.
All of those are very valid points.
LoneStar29
Banned
LoneStar29
Banned
But what makes a good woman followup???
Cuz I consider myself a good woman and I steady have bad experiences with men
On the real I think our choices play a big part in not "finding" a good man ... some of our perceptions of what a good man are distorted as well
Looking it as good woman/bad woman and adopting a label is too simplistic. It's about an honest appraisal (incredibly difficult because we love to lie to ourselves) of who you are and arent, your values, actions, virtues, and failings. One of the wisest things a man every said to me was in essence you don't just committ to the best things about a person you committ to the WORST things about them too. I will never forget that, because it helped me see some ugly things about myself that it was easy to ignore under this label of considering myself a "good" woman.
Is it hard to find good people- nope dont think so. Is it more of a challenge to find someone who is good for YOU and YOU are good for them - yes...but what is worthwhile that doesnt require some effort?
Is it hard to find good people- nope dont think so. Is it more of a challenge to find someone who is good for YOU and YOU are good for them - yes...but what is worthwhile that doesnt require some effort?
Tonya TKO is a nutcase. I'm not watching that. 22 minutes is longer than a episode of family guy.
What exactly is a "good man" though?
What exactly is a "good man" though?
It depends on what you think it is. I have my definitions, but that might not necessarily apply to every woman because I only am interested in certain types of men who are looking for a woman like me. You get it?
Now on another note: a good man is easy to find, but can be hard to keep
LoneStar29
Banned
That was deep
Looking it as good woman/bad woman and adopting a label is too simplistic. It's about an honest appraisal (incredibly difficult because we love to lie to ourselves) of who you are and arent, your values, actions, virtues, and failings. One of the wisest things a man every said to me was in essence you don't just committ to the best things about a person you committ to the WORST things about them too. I will never forget that, because it helped me see some ugly things about myself that it was easy to ignore under this label of considering myself a "good" woman.
Is it hard to find good people- nope dont think so. Is it more of a challenge to find someone who is good for YOU and YOU are good for them - yes...but what is worthwhile that doesnt require some effort?
Izy always stays dropping some knowledge...
Sis, I want to be like you when I grow up
Izy always stays dropping some knowledge...
Sis, I want to be like you when I grow up
I'm still growing up Jo! Props to the man that shared that bit of wisdom with me. He is ahead of his time for sure.
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