Hey Sisters I need help badly....

[kani33]

Ok my girlfriend and I are in a serious disagreement over something that I deem to be very trivial but she keeps stressing it.....Now I am a friendly i.e cordial with all my exes and try to maintain a friendship....So one of my exes sent me an email with some pictures of her at an awards dinner, so she check my email and found them......And was very irate then told me that was inappropriate of her to send them and me to save them...(saved in my family & friends folder).

Now I really believe I did nothing wrong since we are friends and ONLY friends...The young lady has moved on as she is now married and thousands of miles away from me.....I really need to know from the ladies if it is in deed inappropriate for me to receive a photo from an ex and if so WHY......lemme know ladies


PS: The ex in question is the last one...just thought I would mention that (still think it should matter since it's been a year and she now married).

 

[kani33]

If you are not married then no it is not inappropriate.

Your girlfriend is either:
a) irrational (potential ticking time bomb)

or

b) insecure for good reasons (you cheated before or violated in some other way)

**********************************************
Appreciate your candor Peachey....Now I just need some more of my bgol sistas to drop their 2 cents

 

[Andeyhollawho]

First...is that your girl in your avatar?

Second it's a little inappropriate that she "found" your pics and only inappropriate by you if it was a shot like the one in your sig.

You need more details though playa. How deep and long was your relationship with the other girl and how bad was your break up?

No homo on the deep and long shit but since this is SOL...ladies I mean that sincerly!

 

[bigirl]

why is she reading your email?

 

[kani33]

First...is that your girl in your avatar?

Second it's a little inappropriate that she "found" your pics and only inappropriate by you if it was a shot like the one in your sig.

You need more details though playa. How deep and long was your relationship with the other girl and how bad was your break up?

No homo on the deep and long shit but since this is SOL...ladies I mean that sincerly!

***********************************************
Walked away from the pc, come back drama.....It's pics of her at an awards dinner for her work nothing remotely nude....I have known that girl since 1994, got together 2001 and ended '07.....break up was bad at first but we realized friendship is what we are best at.....preciate it fam

 

[Andeyhollawho]

***********************************************
Walked away from the pc, come back drama.....It's pics of her at an awards dinner for her work nothing remotely nude....I have known that girl since 1994, got together 2001 and ended '07.....break up was bad at first but we realized friendship is what we are best at.....preciate it fam

I was with you until the bold part. 6 years and broke up for a year...

You might be in a little bit of trouble. And how in the hell did she get married within a year of breaking up with you???

Kind of going downhill fast on that one cuz. Sorry!

Ol girl is feeling insecure and to tell you the truth if the tables were turned and it was my girl in this situation I wouldn't be pissed but I would expect some answers.

 

[PrincessC]

LMFAO @ "we're just friends now"

Negro, please. You dated that girl for SIX YEARS. There's entirely too much history and emotion for you to "just be friends." You are truly in denial if you think that you can just have a platonic relationship with someone that you were with for so long. Are you really surprised your girlfriend is upset?

You need to be honest with yourself. You ex is not your friend, and you need to be more sensitive to your new gf's needs. I wonder how your ex's HUSBAND would feel if he knew his new WIFE was sending pics of herself to her most recent exboyfriend?

Fuckin REDIC.

 

[kani33]

LMFAO @ "we're just friends now"

Negro, please. You dated that girl for SIX YEARS. There's entirely too much history and emotion for you to "just be friends." You are truly in denial if you think that you can just have a platonic relationship with someone that you were with for so long. Are you really surprised your girlfriend is upset?

You need to be honest with yourself. You ex is not your friend, and you need to be more sensitive to your new gf's needs. I wonder how your ex's HUSBAND would feel if he knew his new WIFE was sending pics of herself to her most recent exboyfriend?

Fuckin REDIC.

Appreciate your response but I am secure with me and looking forward....

 

[Cleopatra_J]

How old are you guys?

Because I dealt with a similar situation... I've know my ex for like years, since we were like 10 and then we dated from like 01-07 and we really are just friends ... Granted I don't have a man who could be jealous, but if you guys were like 16-22 when u dated and now your a bit older your gf can't be tooo mad because that was childhood, at this point you should be in a more mature relationship...

But if you guys were like 26-32 then that changes things completely.... ya know??

 

[kani33]

How old are you guys?

Because I dealt with a similar situation... I've know my ex for like years, since we were like 10 and then we dated from like 01-07 and we really are just friends ... Granted I don't have a man who could be jealous, but if you guys were like 16-22 when u dated and now your a bit older your gf can't be tooo mad because that was childhood, at this point you should be in a more mature relationship...

But if you guys were like 26-32 then that changes things completely.... ya know??

We dated when were 20-26......I really don't see anything wrong plus I don't even talk to her on the phone and mostly IM's that are few and far between periods...of basically small talk

 

[onyxfemme]

A woman after my own heart
Everything she said is on point....
And if you were my man and I found "new" pictures of an ex...
**HAVING A BLACK OUT MOMENT**



Yeah everything PC said

LMFAO @ "we're just friends now"

Negro, please. You dated that girl for SIX YEARS. There's entirely too much history and emotion for you to "just be friends." You are truly in denial if you think that you can just have a platonic relationship with someone that you were with for so long. Are you really surprised your girlfriend is upset?

You need to be honest with yourself. You ex is not your friend, and you need to be more sensitive to your new gf's needs. I wonder how your ex's HUSBAND would feel if he knew his new WIFE was sending pics of herself to her most recent exboyfriend?

Fuckin REDIC.

 

[dwnsouth]

fuck that....

its not like she loves there or they were naked pictures. She cared enough to send you some lame ass pics so you could see that she is doing well. Shit was innocent and harmless. Your current has insecurity issues that need to be addressed. If she knows your not cheating and not going out of your way to hide shit, then she shouldn't be worried. I had an ex that once told me that she didnt care if I went to the strip club because she knew she could trust me and that I was going to come home....not thats trust....and I never abused it.

 

[dwnsouth]

c/s

Call me arrogant or whatever but "insecure" is not in my mental rolodex...add to that the fact that I have never been "left" or cheated on that I know of.

If I'm with you I trust you 100%.

thank you....

like i said....she always knew I was coming home to her....and that her pussy was the only one i was fucking.

 

[LoneStar29]

LMFAO @ "we're just friends now"

Negro, please. You dated that girl for SIX YEARS. There's entirely too much history and emotion for you to "just be friends." You are truly in denial if you think that you can just have a platonic relationship with someone that you were with for so long. Are you really surprised your girlfriend is upset?

You need to be honest with yourself. You ex is not your friend, and you need to be more sensitive to your new gf's needs. I wonder how your ex's HUSBAND would feel if he knew his new WIFE was sending pics of herself to her most recent exboyfriend?

Fuckin REDIC.

C/S but with not as much SASS

I was with you OP until the 6 years together 1 year apart thing ... there is too much history there between you two and not enough time has passed since so I can see why your girl is feeling insecure ... she may think the feelings are still fresh and you guys could fall back in love while communicating ... you may need to ease back just a little bit on the friendship until your relationship is more secure ... it's still new so give it time

 

[BrownTurd]

Now come on.... be real with yourself. If the shoe was on the other foot how would you have felt. If she was saving pictures of her ex in a Family & Friends folder how would that have made you feel

 

[Mo-Better]

***********************************************
Walked away from the pc, come back drama.....It's pics of her at an awards dinner for her work nothing remotely nude....I have known that girl since 1994, got together 2001 and ended '07.....break up was bad at first but we realized friendship is what we are best at.....preciate it fam

Ladies everything is not as black and white as some of you view it. There are exceptions to everything in life.

Contrary to some of these womens comments you can have a long term relationship end and still remain friends after a breakup. I've been there in fact living it as we speak, this is since high school. Guess what its just that a friendship nothing more and nothing less. She now has her life and I have mine.

As for this woman (she's no lady) going through your email is an invasion of privacy....she had no right to do so. She would already be history if it were me.

Anyone who meets someone new should understand that prior to you two getting together you both had a past. If your relationship is to work there has to be TRUST! If checking your emails is her way of showing trust that relationship has no chance.

Ask her if you can check her voice and text messages on her phone.

 

[DeSiRe]

how would u feel if she was all extra buddy buddy with her exes

theres your answer

treat people how u want to be treated

 

[watchin]

why is she reading your email?

Exactly! Unless you have given her permission she shouldn't be reading it at all right? Did that bother you? Did you address it?

That would be a huge red flag for me. This is a new relationship and its already going down like that?

I'm sure for her..seeing you saving pictures of your ex did sting. Be sensitive to her feelings on that.

But you need to address her snooping violating your privacy etc Pronto

 

[jjUSTAZZ]

1. She shouldn't be reading your email.

2. How the hell she married 1 year after a 6 year relationship?

3. I've been the new girlfriend after a long relationship. They still talked after divorcing. I was cool because he let me know that she was his past and I was his present. Without that we wouldn't have worked out.

4. I think you should just make sure she knows where your head/heart is at. You can't do anymore than that.




Oh yeah 5. Lay down the law about that reading your email situation.... She was definitely out of line for that one.

 

[kani33]

Yo SOL....I appreciate everyone dropping their 2 cents since I really needed clarity on the matter because like I said I really feel it in my core that is not inappropriate as long as the pics are appropriate and no mix signals are been sent....but to address a couple of issues

<> the checking of email is kinda minor to me, I have nothing to hide...so she receives a free pass on that since I really care for her

<> the bigger issue is the insecurity which is my fault...I reassure her in the good and bad times, letting her I know she is the one I am with and hoped to be with forever....what else can I do??

<> the ex made the best decision for her and we remain friends....I am happy with mine and I hope she is happy with hers.

I guess I have to compromise and be a bit more sensitive to certain situation but let know what else I can do to reassure her.

 

[Noir]

LMFAO @ "we're just friends now"

Negro, please. You dated that girl for SIX YEARS. There's entirely too much history and emotion for you to "just be friends." You are truly in denial if you think that you can just have a platonic relationship with someone that you were with for so long. Are you really surprised your girlfriend is upset?

You need to be honest with yourself. You ex is not your friend, and you need to be more sensitive to your new gf's needs. I wonder how your ex's HUSBAND would feel if he knew his new WIFE was sending pics of herself to her most recent exboyfriend?

Fuckin REDIC.

A woman after my own heart
Everything she said is on point....
And if you were my man and I found "new" pictures of an ex...
**HAVING A BLACK OUT MOMENT**



Yeah everything PC said

C/S but with not as much SASS

I was with you OP until the 6 years together 1 year apart thing ... there is too much history there between you two and not enough time has passed since so I can see why your girl is feeling insecure ... she may think the feelings are still fresh and you guys could fall back in love while communicating ... you may need to ease back just a little bit on the friendship until your relationship is more secure ... it's still new so give it time

how would u feel if she was all extra buddy buddy with her exes

theres your answer

treat people how u want to be treated

I'm late on the scene, but I am really shocked at some of the comments of the ladies.

The man dated the woman for 6 YEARS. You'd hope and expect that during that time they developed a common friendship, goals, interests, etc. for each other during that time (especially if they were friends for years before deciding to date). Though no longer together, it is a testament to their maturity that they still have a friendship towards each other, and are concerned about what is going on with each other as they move forward.

I am still close friends with one of my exes. We still chat, discuss work (in same field), hang with our mutual friends, and we're still close with each other's families, attending parties, barbecues, etc. despite who each of us may be seeing at the moment. I am straight up with any woman I am dating and let her know she is an ex, and we're still good friends - If she is insecure with that, then she can step if she wishes.

<> Why the ex married after only 1 year separation is irrelevant. She fell head over heels in love? Felt that new man was "the one"?

<> The whole e-mail thing is a separate issue/thread, but if OP is cool with it, then fine.

 

[KingSE7EN]

so she check my email and found them.....

First and foremost dude, MAN UP!!

And stop lookin' to women for guidance.

 

[Duece]

First and foremost dude, MAN UP!!

And stop lookin' to women for guidance.

Tariq?

 

[jae_one]

I always felt Ex's were ex's for a reason... I'm cool with some but no matter how confident the current chick might be I always moved them to the back burner...