SOL Men/Women........Hypothetical Question
- Thread starter onyxfemme
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LoneStar29
Banned
I'd let him vent it out ... say whatever he had to say yelling, cussing or not so that he can get it off his chest ... then I'll try my best to do "something" that'll take his mind off of it after
I don't say to much of anything. I just listen. Maybe ask a question here and there. I don't try to solve her problems.
I'd hug her and listen to what made it such a bad day. Then if she's up to it we'd go out for a nice dinner and a few drinks. If its the weekend, we might even check into a hotel for the night. That works for her.
Your ninja came home in tearz today?
I hope they were manly tears of wrath and destruction as in Mars the God of war walks the earth?
Hope they weren't pink champagne tears.
I'll get serious, for a moment.
It's interesting that sometimes persons have careers or jobs so drastically different that their going to have a hard time relating to each others job stressors.
Basically, " Shut the fuck up, you don't know what your talking about, you have no idea what I go through! " Is actually legitimate.
So let's take ourselves there, strip all advantages, and get down to the bare bones of it as a relationship . . .
DO:
Listen closely for the moment when you can . . . .
. . . attempt to steer anger into positive energy, ( At all costs keep it the fuck away from you!
) Ask for the situation to be explained calmly so that even YOU,( Who don't know SHIT about it! ), can understand.
Reinforce your faith in that persons schooling, character and ability to do their job.
Try and cause the conversation to lead towards solutions but remember, YOU don't KNOW what the fuck they go through.
So questions like, " Why is that standard operating procedure? ", " When did they start doing that? " (
Like you knew they did it in the first place. ) , " Who implemented that and WHY? " And my personal favorite . . . " So you've probably got a BETTER way to handle this, what it is? " Or questions to that effect.
Luckily I have some reference to what she does . . . an yet, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SHE'S GOING THROUGH!
See a pattern.
DON'T.
Think you know what the fuck their going through.
Assume anything.
Be condescending.
Be aggressive.
Encourage them to be aggressive, ( Get through the conversation first. I've found Women can get into a wild world wind of furious fury! You wanna stay out of the way of that ).
An if all else fails, agree with her that her boss is a bitch ass bitch hoe and her coworkers should be tar and feathered, reinforced with many yeses between beer sips and nodding of head in agreement!
I hope they were manly tears of wrath and destruction as in Mars the God of war walks the earth?
Hope they weren't pink champagne tears.
I'll get serious, for a moment.
It's interesting that sometimes persons have careers or jobs so drastically different that their going to have a hard time relating to each others job stressors.
Basically, " Shut the fuck up, you don't know what your talking about, you have no idea what I go through! " Is actually legitimate.
So let's take ourselves there, strip all advantages, and get down to the bare bones of it as a relationship . . .
DO:
Listen closely for the moment when you can . . . .
. . . attempt to steer anger into positive energy, ( At all costs keep it the fuck away from you!
) Ask for the situation to be explained calmly so that even YOU,( Who don't know SHIT about it! ), can understand.Reinforce your faith in that persons schooling, character and ability to do their job.
Try and cause the conversation to lead towards solutions but remember, YOU don't KNOW what the fuck they go through.
So questions like, " Why is that standard operating procedure? ", " When did they start doing that? " (
Like you knew they did it in the first place. ) , " Who implemented that and WHY? " And my personal favorite . . . " So you've probably got a BETTER way to handle this, what it is? " Or questions to that effect.Luckily I have some reference to what she does . . . an yet, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SHE'S GOING THROUGH!
See a pattern.
DON'T.
Think you know what the fuck their going through.
Assume anything.
Be condescending.
Be aggressive.
Encourage them to be aggressive, ( Get through the conversation first. I've found Women can get into a wild world wind of furious fury! You wanna stay out of the way of that ).
An if all else fails, agree with her that her boss is a bitch ass bitch hoe and her coworkers should be tar and feathered, reinforced with many yeses between beer sips and nodding of head in agreement!
Wow! I notice a trend between the ladies and the men!
Thanks for all the replies!
Ummmm LoneStar what is that "something" that you speak of
Followup-I saw that!
Jimmyhat-Feedback is always goos
REMINGTON_BLACK: But you dont have to try to solve them, just acknowledge her bad day
blackpepper: Awwww I like that!
Shane-You make me so mad w/ your crazy self! But this:
Thanks for all the replies!
Ummmm LoneStar what is that "something" that you speak of
Followup-I saw that!
Jimmyhat-Feedback is always goos
REMINGTON_BLACK: But you dont have to try to solve them, just acknowledge her bad day
blackpepper: Awwww I like that!
Shane-You make me so mad w/ your crazy self! But this:
It would work!
Shane approves this message. The entire message.
I would start with running a hot bath... then rub oils all over him and give him a full body massage. And then feed him
my pussy
Wow! I notice a trend between the ladies and the men!
Thanks for all the replies!
Ummmm LoneStar what is that "something" that you speak of
Followup-I saw that!
Jimmyhat-Feedback is always goos
REMINGTON_BLACK: But you dont have to try to solve them, just acknowledge her bad day
blackpepper: Awwww I like that!
Shane-You make me so mad w/ your crazy self! But this:
It would work!
and you know why
I agree with other people who said you listen for the most part... then do "something" to take their mind off it to prepare them for the next day... could be whatever the situation calls for... their favorite meal... some phenomenal sex...or even just leaving them alone with the remote.. whatever they need...
Shane-You make me so mad w/ your crazy self! But this:
It would work!
I posted a concise and well thought out narrative in response to your query and my mental sanity is ATTACKED! Put on TRIAL!
THIS IS THE REAL AMERICA PEOPLE . . . LOOK AT IT'S FILTHY TRUTH, EVEN TODAY IN 2008!!
All I was doing was posting while SHANE and I was unfairly targeted, and attacked!
http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn182/robthalastremedy/BlackFist.jpg
Shane Power the struggle continues!!!!
This is relevant to my interests...Shane approves this message. The entire message.
I do have to say one thing, though the replies are funny, this brings up something. What do I want.
I want to solve the problem.
If not I am the problem. The problem is there and must be dealt with, not ignored.
If I believe and I do, believe that I can solve the problem, I've solved the problem.
Since I am not perfect, a woman who in this situation uses sex as a go to pacifier is gormless and unimaginative. An has just become the problem.
But that's just me.
[The typical response]It is a porn board what do you expect?
btw I'm wondering if being a listener is really a solution or in a situation after listening to her story and realizing that she fucked up should I allow reality to kick in and speak my mind and tell her to stop the bitching.
You know how women can get over dramatic but since it is an hypothetical question I will erase that thought.
Shut my mouth and open my arms and ears.
For me I want to be listened too. Crack open a bottle of wine, sit me down in front of a meal, I didn't have to make and listen. I don't want him to attempt to solve it necessarily,IE telling me what I should do. Mostly I want a truth teller with some cheerleader thrown in. A man who can present his view with tact and understanding gets my respect and keeps it. Even if its a hard truth Im hearing.
For him, depends on the man. Some men really just need to be left alone to solve it. Need the space. Others want to talk it out. My job is to listen, and listen some more. I'm the supporting actor in his play.
For him, depends on the man. Some men really just need to be left alone to solve it. Need the space. Others want to talk it out. My job is to listen, and listen some more. I'm the supporting actor in his play.
It can difficult at times to console your mate when they are coming home from a bad day...
i used to do stupid shit, like ask,"DO YOU NEED ME TO GO UP THERE?"
Thinking that she really needed me to solve the problem, but she really just wants attention, that back massage, that foot rub, dinner in bed cooked by me, her getting me off the pc to watch her favorite lifetime movie with her. i had to find out the long route, that most women just need an excuse to be pampered, a reason to allow us, men, to be simpish...a happy home is one helluva thing...
i used to do stupid shit, like ask,"DO YOU NEED ME TO GO UP THERE?"
Thinking that she really needed me to solve the problem, but she really just wants attention, that back massage, that foot rub, dinner in bed cooked by me, her getting me off the pc to watch her favorite lifetime movie with her. i had to find out the long route, that most women just need an excuse to be pampered, a reason to allow us, men, to be simpish...a happy home is one helluva thing...
just sit down and ask...baby what happened?
**Sends E-Hug**
You already know i dont play that spoiled brat shit!
In such situations I would just give her my attention and just listen, nodding every now and then to acknowledge to her that I'm listening to what she has to say.
I would not try to interrupt her whilst she talking. But afterwards run her a bath and reassure her that tomorrow is another day.
I would not try to interrupt her whilst she talking. But afterwards run her a bath and reassure her that tomorrow is another day.
Your woman has a bad day at work...But not just a bad day...But a close to tears day. She comes to you to vent....
What do you do/say?
Women same question reverse the scenario where your man had the bad day...
Let's discuss
OK so you hit the door in a rage, I don't want to ignore your problem but I need to take control of this situation, calm you down before we both have a bad night. First thing is to sit you down, pour you a little wine or fix you a drink and listen to your story. Then try and workout a rational solution to your problem. The main thing is be supportive but honest. Yeah if your wrong I will tell you. There's no room for ego.
Maybe we later go out to dinner. Continue the evening with soft music, more drinks and more discussion if necessary. Cap the evening with a warm bath, an intimate massage, and then let you vent any remaining frustrations through orgasmic release.
I think you have a valid point.. but at the same time your woman isn't in the situation and can't tell you how to handle it. And more often that not if will make your more mad to sit and dwell on the problem. She should listen and offer suggestions if you are up for them, but it does neither of you any good to sit and stress over it. To take your mind off it with food, tv, comfort or even sex is her way of saying, "Baby, it will be ok. It will be there tomorrow, but for tonight just relax." It's just as uncreative as when a man fucks up he buys flowers...
I'd ask her what time should I expect dinner....
