Dead Wrong

[apple grove]

What was the last thing you did that was dead wrong?

a few of Mine:

@ work: Told my boss at work my grandmother died to get out of work, he was like "oh yeah, I thought she died last month?" I was like oh naw that was my god mother, my "blank" mother has died at least 4 times this year alone

@ Bojangles:, slim gave me the food before I paid, then reached over to get me a couple packs of hotsauce, I just bailed the fuck out!

@ Sears: went to get a new battery, cuzzo tried to tell me that it would be a $15.00 charge to dispose of the old battery, I was like don't worry about it, I'll take it to the landfill myself, I left that shit in the parking lot

add on please!

 

[sqush]

What was the last thing you did that was dead wrong?

a few of Mine:

@ work: Told my boss at work my grandmother died to get out of work, he was like "oh yeah, I thought she died last month?" I was like oh naw that was my god mother, my "blank" mother has died at least 4 times this year alone

@ Bojangles:, slim gave me the food before I paid, then reached over to get me a couple packs of hotsauce, I just bailed the fuck out!

@ Sears: went to get a new battery, cuzzo tried to tell me that it would be a $15.00 charge to dispose of the old battery, I was like don't worry about it, I'll take it to the landfill myself, I left that shit in the parking lot

add on please!

I remember going to kmart to get a bike for my cousin, and they mistaked me for the guy that was coming to pick bike up off layaway and paid for it over the internet! I didnt say shit! Just walked out and slammed bike in car and jetted LOL!

 

[Deuterion]

What was the last thing you did that was dead wrong?

@BGOL: Clicked on this thread.

 

[apple grove]

I remember going to kmart to get a bike for my cousin, and they mistaked me for the guy that was coming to pick bike up off layaway and paid for it over the internet! I didnt say shit! Just walked out and slammed bike in car and jetted LOL!

 

[EATUGOOD1]

Had Phone Sex With This Chick From My Gf's Praise Team At Her Church..

 

[apple grove]

I FUCKED YO MOM IN THE AZZ

cold blooded!!!!!!!!!!

 

[OLDSCHOOL]

I fuck this 17 year old chic body was so outcold i had to wish i could have recorded it gave her more dick than she ever had in her life oh yeah im 33 i felt kind of bad till i got up in her oh well

 

[EATUGOOD1]

I fuck this 17 year old chic body was so outcold i had to wish i could have recorded it gave her more dick than she ever had in her life oh yeah im 33 i felt kind of bad till i got up in her oh well

YEAH I DID THE SAME SHIT YRS AGO..BITCH COULD DO SOMETHING WITH HER PUSSY TO MAKE ME BUST EXTRA HARD..
I MET THIS 18 YR OLD CHICK ON MY LUNCH BY MY JOB WAITNG ON A BUS. SHE ASKED WAS WE HIRING. I LIED AND SAID YES. TOLD HER I COULD GET HER ON. GAVE HER A RIDE HOME. SMASHED TWO DAYS LATER. WE FUCKED FOR ABOUT 4 MONTHS BEFORE SHE MOVED. BITCH USED TO GIVE ME HEAD WHILE I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH MY GF.ONE TIME I NUTTED ON HER FACE AND SHE WORE THE SHIT HOME.. TRUE STORY.

 

[apple grove]

YEAH I DID THE SAME SHIT YRS AGO..BITCH COULD DO SOMETHING WITH HER PUSSY TO MAKE ME BUST EXTRA HARD..
I MET THIS 18 YR OLD CHICK ON MY LUNCH BY MY JOB WAITNG ON A BUS. SHE ASKED WAS WE HIRING. I LIED AND SAID YES. TOLD HER I COULD GET HER ON. GAVE HER A RIDE HOME. SMASHED TWO DAYS LATER. WE FUCKED FOR ABOUT 4 MONTHS BEFORE SHE MOVED. BITCH USED TO GIVE ME HEAD WHILE I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH MY GF.ONE TIME I NUTTED ON HER FACE AND SHE WORE THE SHIT HOME.. TRUE STORY.

 

[Broadstreetbully85]

YEAH I DID THE SAME SHIT YRS AGO..BITCH COULD DO SOMETHING WITH HER PUSSY TO MAKE ME BUST EXTRA HARD..
I MET THIS 18 YR OLD CHICK ON MY LUNCH BY MY JOB WAITNG ON A BUS. SHE ASKED WAS WE HIRING. I LIED AND SAID YES. TOLD HER I COULD GET HER ON. GAVE HER A RIDE HOME. SMASHED TWO DAYS LATER. WE FUCKED FOR ABOUT 4 MONTHS BEFORE SHE MOVED. BITCH USED TO GIVE ME HEAD WHILE I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH MY GF.ONE TIME I NUTTED ON HER FACE AND SHE WORE THE SHIT HOME.. TRUE STORY.

 

[apple grove]

Another work joint:

Got to work hungover @ 12:00 (supposed to be there @ 9:00) took my lunch break for an hour @ 12:30 PM, left @ 4:30, and when slim boogie boss asked me about what was up the next day I gave him a dirty look and cited the human resource policy on racisim hazing

 

[DiGeneral]

Had Phone Sex With This Chick From My Gf's Praise Team At Her Church..

 

[TRUFICTION]

IM DEAD WRONG FOR NOT BEING DEAD WRONG MORE OFTEN
IM TOO NICE

 

[desklamp]

Had Phone Sex With This Chick From My Gf's Praise Team At Her Church..

 

[blackbastard]

"Hiiii. I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline. Why don't you have a seat?"

 

[yourreplacement]

Another work joint:

I gave him a dirty look and cited the human resource policy on racisim hazing

 

[apple grove]

I had a older cousin who was a recovering alcoholic/crackhead, in his 12 steps, had a sponsor all of that shit as a result of being on probation for like his 3rd or 4th DUI, I hit him with that classic joint "man, one drank aint going to kill you", slim had that one drink, went back to the store after we finished the fifth, to get him a personal bottle, (and probaly some rocks too) got into a fist/broken bottle fight behind the store, and ended up getting like 60 months for assault w/ a deadly weapon plus the probation violation, that nigga won't talk to me to this day

 

[TriniPimp]

I had a older cousin who was a recovering alcoholic/crackhead, in his 12 steps, had a sponsor all of that shit as a result of being on probation for like his 3rd or 4th DUI, I hit him with that classic joint "man, one drank aint going to kill you", slim had that one drink, went back to the store after we finished the fifth, to get him a personal bottle, (and probaly some rocks too) got into a fist/broken bottle fight behind the store, and ended up getting like 60 months for assault w/ a deadly weapon plus the probation violation, that nigga won't talk to me to this day

Just fucking wrong!!!

 

[LSN]

@ Sears: went to get a new battery, cuzzo tried to tell me that it would be a $15.00 charge to dispose of the old battery, I was like don't worry about it, I'll take it to the landfill myself, I left that shit in the parking lot

Basically...

 

[LSN]

I had a older cousin who was a recovering alcoholic/crackhead, in his 12 steps, had a sponsor all of that shit as a result of being on probation for like his 3rd or 4th DUI, I hit him with that classic joint "man, one drank aint going to kill you", slim had that one drink, went back to the store after we finished the fifth, to get him a personal bottle, (and probaly some rocks too) got into a fist/broken bottle fight behind the store, and ended up getting like 60 months for assault w/ a deadly weapon plus the probation violation, that nigga won't talk to me to this day

 

[apple grove]

on the school bus in middle school...

We used to ride through this fucked up area of Landover, MD (kentland/palmer park), everyday we (when I say we, it was mostly me) rode through this area on the bus, there would be a gang of nigs on the corner (rolling dice, smoking boat, selling drugs, the whole 9) so we would ride by there and throw shit at them from the bus, talk shit, spit juice on them, throw whole sodas at them, all sorts of dumb shit. One day these dudes followed the bus about 12 deep in a cherokee, I'm telling you as soon as we stepped off the bus, these niggas was on us, me and my ace boon Jesse we took off running right, we get about ten feet away, Jesse got the bright idea to try to hide underneath a deck, I kept going though, I look back after I am safe distance away right, my man Jesse is getting mollywhopped by these dudes, I saw him the next day he had the swollen Martin face plus a soft cast on his arm, he was like why you aint stop running and help me?, I was like "I thought you was right behind me"

 

[gaklid]

This nigga Apple Grove is killin' me

 

[apple grove]

what the fuck is up with the fag shit?

 

[troutwine]

One time, my sister and our cousin went out to get some buffalo wings. after they came back home, one of their friends invited em to a party, so they left before they could eat.

I go downstairs and eat both their chicken wings...and i left the bones in the boxes.

About 3-4 hours later I hear some loud music outside, and realize "Oh shit...there back...what am I gonna do?"

My dad had come home and fell asleep on the couch watchin TV, so I smeared some of the chicken sauce on his lips placed the Chicken wing boxes on his stomach to make it look like he ate them...

Man, I wasn't down there, but i wish i could have seen the looks on there faces . my d ad was probably sittin there tryna figure out WTF happened cause they were screamin at him and all mad at him.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

I was fucking with this one girl who was ok looking, but not a head turner. No relationship just tagging. She had a room mate though who was on FIRE! One night we (so-so girl) got into an argument and she threw me out. Walking to my car I see her room mate coming home. She stopped me and I told her the deal. Long story short she told me she always wanted to fuck me!

So I went right back in the house I had just got kicked out of with the fire room mate. We go to her room and fuck. While I'm in there I get a call from so-so chick. She wants to make up now! Her room mate is laughing her ass off because now she is like OK he with me now.

I finish with her and call so-so girl back. She tell me to come BACK over! So I pushed my car out in the street, turn a block and come back, but I tell her I don't want to wake her room mate so she sneak me in. So while I'm fucking her, fire girl look downstairs and notice my car is back, bust off in the room crying and shit! I keep right on fucking!!! So-so girl is pissed but I'm in there deep so she don't know if she should throw my ass out or get this nut! She goes with the latter!!!

So now I'm fucking the so-so girl and the whole time I'm trying to finish she like, "Ooooh nigga you wrong! You so fucking wrong! Oh shit right there. Nigga I'm gonna kick your ass boy OOOOHHHH!!!

Young nigga shit right here boy! I've learned much better since then. I could have got my ass killed that night!

 

[LSN]

on the school bus in middle school...

We used to ride through this fucked up area of Landover, MD (kentland/palmer park), everyday we (when I say we, it was mostly me) rode through this area on the bus, there would be a gang of nigs on the corner (rolling dice, smoking boat, selling drugs, the whole 9) so we would ride by there and throw shit at them from the bus, talk shit, spit juice on them, throw whole sodas at them, all sorts of dumb shit. One day these dudes followed the bus about 12 deep in a cherokee, I'm telling you as soon as we stepped off the bus, these niggas was on us, me and my ace boon Jesse we took off running right, we get about ten feet away, Jesse got the bright idea to try to hide underneath a deck, I kept going though, I look back after I am safe distance away right, my man Jesse is getting mollywhopped by these dudes, I saw him the next day he had the swollen Martin face plus a soft cast on his arm, he was like why you aint stop running and help me?, I was like "I thought you was right behind me"

Yo yous a fukked up individual...

 

[destrehan]

One time, my sister and our cousin went out to get some buffalo wings. after they came back home, one of their friends invited em to a party, so they left before they could eat.

I go downstairs and eat both their chicken wings...and i left the bones in the boxes.

About 3-4 hours later I hear some loud music outside, and realize "Oh shit...there back...what am I gonna do?"

My dad had come home and fell asleep on the couch watchin TV, so I smeared some of the chicken sauce on his lips placed the Chicken wing boxes on his stomach to make it look like he ate them...

Man, I wasn't down there, but i wish i could have seen the looks on there faces . my d ad was probably sittin there tryna figure out WTF happened cause they were screamin at him and all mad at him.

now this is some of the funniest shit i ever heard!!

 

[destrehan]

I was fucking with this one girl who was ok looking, but not a head turner. No relationship just tagging. She had a room mate though who was on FIRE! One night we (so-so girl) got into an argument and she threw me out. Walking to my car I see her room mate coming home. She stopped me and I told her the deal. Long story short she told me she always wanted to fuck me!

So I went right back in the house I had just got kicked out of with the fire room mate. We go to her room and fuck. While I'm in there I get a call from so-so chick. She wants to make up now! Her room mate is laughing her ass off because now she is like OK he with me now.

I finish with her and call so-so girl back. She tell me to come BACK over! So I pushed my car out in the street, turn a block and come back, but I tell her I don't want to wake her room mate so she sneak me in. So while I'm fucking her, fire girl look downstairs and notice my car is back, bust off in the room crying and shit! I keep right on fucking!!! So-so girl is pissed but I'm in there deep so she don't know if she should throw my ass out or get this nut! She goes with the latter!!!

So now I'm fucking the so-so girl and the whole time I'm trying to finish she like, "Ooooh nigga you wrong! You so fucking wrong! Oh shit right there. Nigga I'm gonna kick your ass boy OOOOHHHH!!!

Young nigga shit right here boy! I've learned much better since then. I could have got my ass killed that night!

 

[Studio718]

Growing up there was this dude who was a fucked up individual.

WE decided to go biking from my town to the beach, when someone had the bright idea to take the scenic route.
Try peddling a bicycle for 5 hours in the Tropical South-American sun through sand.
We finally decided to stop at a store we all thoughtn would be open. It was NOT!
So there we were, all thirsty and dehydrated on the beach when this fool takes out a gallon of water from his back pack...washes his face...wets his hair...gargles...drink while going " ahhhhhh " the whole gallon bottle of water.
ASSWHOOPING!!!!

We all hung out after school at this show off type of kid's crib but his mom forbid us from being in the crib.
One day we decided to have a bbq at his crib while his mom was working overtime.
His mom called and asked if he could come pick her up.
he asked if we could clean up everything and close the door while he's getting his mom.
shit....we pissed all over the bathroom, threw food all over the kitchen..left beer bottles, dirty plates etc etc etc in the living room.
TV on the porn channel...lol
Dude never let us in his yard again!

We would make sandwiches with pieces of metal in them and give it to greedy kids during lunch.
Or piss in beer bottles at parties and give it to some half drunk fool.

Dudes would push you for no reason into a group of people, get hype to make it seem like they got your back and when the ass whooping started they would just vanish...lol

One time I got mad during a soccer tournament and took my ball home, lol.
Dudes told me never to show my face around town again.

 

[CPT Callamity]

on the school bus in middle school...

We used to ride through this fucked up area of Landover, MD (kentland/palmer park), everyday we (when I say we, it was mostly me) rode through this area on the bus, there would be a gang of nigs on the corner (rolling dice, smoking boat, selling drugs, the whole 9) so we would ride by there and throw shit at them from the bus, talk shit, spit juice on them, throw whole sodas at them, all sorts of dumb shit. One day these dudes followed the bus about 12 deep in a cherokee, I'm telling you as soon as we stepped off the bus, these niggas was on us, me and my ace boon Jesse we took off running right, we get about ten feet away, Jesse got the bright idea to try to hide underneath a deck, I kept going though, I look back after I am safe distance away right, my man Jesse is getting mollywhopped by these dudes, I saw him the next day he had the swollen Martin face plus a soft cast on his arm, he was like why you aint stop running and help me?, I was like "I thought you was right behind me"

this right here sounds like some shit my students would tell me...and a lot of them lived in Kentland/Palmer Park/Glenarden.

 

[apple grove]

Growing up there was this dude who was a fucked up individual.

WE decided to go biking from my town to the beach, when someone had the bright idea to take the scenic route.
Try peddling a bicycle for 5 hours in the Tropical South-American sun through sand.
We finally decided to stop at a store we all thoughtn would be open. It was NOT!
So there we were, all thirsty and dehydrated on the beach when this fool takes out a gallon of water from his back pack...washes his face...wets his hair...gargles...drink while going " ahhhhhh " the whole gallon bottle of water.
ASSWHOOPING!!!!

We all hung out after school at this show off type of kid's crib but his mom forbid us from being in the crib.
One day we decided to have a bbq at his crib while his mom was working overtime.
His mom called and asked if he could come pick her up.
he asked if we could clean up everything and close the door while he's getting his mom.
shit....we pissed all over the bathroom, threw food all over the kitchen..left beer bottles, dirty plates etc etc etc in the living room.
TV on the porn channel...lol
Dude never let us in his yard again!

We would make sandwiches with pieces of metal in them and give it to greedy kids during lunch.
Or piss in beer bottles at parties and give it to some half drunk fool.

Dudes would push you for no reason into a group of people, get hype to make it seem like they got your back and when the ass whooping started they would just vanish...lol

One time I got mad during a soccer tournament and took my ball home, lol.
Dudes told me never to show my face around town again.

 

[LSN]

Try peddling a bicycle for 5 hours in the Tropical South-American sun through sand.

Nigga you Guyanese...stop perpetrating...that's like me reminiscing about travelling through the streets of Europe when my ass only been to London...did you peddle your bike through the whole continent...stop ducktaling it nigga...