I See Why Black Women Hide Behind Weaves and Perms. & It's Real Deep

[water]

I didn't like dreads until recently when my bf grew them. I wanted to hurt her at first because they always look dirty and unkept but when she did hers they were beautiful... And she explained to me that those who do it for religion are not ones to keep it up because they are anti-...uh...anti keeping up hair . I can't remember what she said exactly but I hope yall get my point.

Your best friend is mis-lead.

Not trying to be a militant in your thread but for the record, it needs to be straightened out.

Hair is the crown of your head and it is very personal for some people.

Dirty and unkept is not a requirement for any religion that I know. Non-dread people also possess dirty and unkept hair but it would be stupid to categorize them (who i'm sure out number dread wearing people) like that.




Natural does not equate unkept.....

Natural is natural and we are each divine expressions of the works of the Creator.

I may look different to you or not conform to your standards but point a finger to the Creator. There is no better and best hair. We are who we are.

Try to look up the meaning of the word "dreadlock" and maybe you will understand what the meaning is and the message dreadlocks give out.


The hairdresser thing is not dread, it is locks.

The watering down of your culture to appease white society is not something I take lightly.

So are we to go "natural" as far as the white establishment would let us?

Is natural not to really mean natural?

Or would natural stay true to itself???

Peace.

 

[Iron]

Hair is the crown of your head and it is very personal for some people.

Thank you kaya.

For trying to explain the meaning behind dreading your hair.

i'am not really doing it for religious reasons.

I'am just tired of fuckin around with my hair,the chemicals and cuttin', it's destroying my head.

Alot of people say that lockin' their hair is a spiritual process and it feels good especially when it gets some lenght and you get positive responses from the people around you.

I like this thread alot.

In a couple months when i get my hair twisted i'll come and post some pics.

 

[Cinamiss]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=azfEeDRvdlc&feature=related



http://youtube.com/watch?v=kF67u_9XRUs&feature=related



http://youtube.com/watch?v=Jsjh6k4E3Os&feature=related



http://youtube.com/watch?v=9AWyr2xw_gc&feature=related

 

[onyxfemme]

Thank you kaya.

For trying to explain the meaning behind dreading your hair.

i'am not really doing it for religious reasons.

I'am just tired of fuckin around with my hair,the chemicals and cuttin', it's destroying my head.

Alot of people say that lockin' their hair is a spiritual process and it feels good especially when it gets some lenght and you get positive responses from the people around you.

I like this thread alot.

In a couple months when i get my hair twisted i'll come and post some pics.

 

[Cinamiss]

I really wish we could heal and take back our black pride. I know us black women have some issues but it really pisses me off when others point the finger at us. When you point a finger at us there is 3 pointing back at you is how I feel. Even though sometimes they tell the truth when they talk about our hair or weight. We really do need to get it together and wake up. We need to know better and do better and teach our daughters better so we can break these ignorant cycles of bullshit. Does anybody feel me on this? Am I the only one that feels this way?

 

[water]

I really wish we could heal and take back our black pride. I know us black women have some issues but it really pisses me off when others point the finger at us. When you point a finger at us there is 3 pointing back at you is how I feel. Even though sometimes they tell the truth when they talk about our hair or weight. We really do need to get it together and wake up. We need to know better and do better and teach our daughters better so we can break these ignorant cycles of bullshit. Does anybody feel me on this? Am I the only one that feels this way?

Sister, this is the root of your problem: " it really pisses me off when others point the finger at us"



If you form your self-image based on people's opinion of you then you have a long road to self-discovery.

In European cultures the emphasis is on the development of "image", how you look, how you sound, the way you hold your eating utensils, the way you hold your glass etc....
It is based around the approval of others, praise is valued.
Saying "thanks" is expected whether or not you are thankful.
Smiling is expected even though you may not be pleased.
Deceit and denial is expected and rewarded.


In African cultures the emphasis is on the development of "self".
Self-confidence comes from within.
Inner strength i.e. strength that uses the trials you have overcome as a basis of its foundation.
Resilience, the ability to overcome life's storms and walk on the water of self doubt.

However it takes work to change what you have been taught.

You have been taught to see life through the eyes of the European.

Therefore you definition of beauty uses the European version as its basis.

The definition of success uses the European version which consists of the accumulation of material things that possess no infinite value but must be left on this earthly plane when we return to the Creator. This accumulation at any cost devalues your faith in the Creator as the source of all things.


How can you beat this game?

You have to come back home.

Home where the qualities we possessed enabled us to weather and overcome the greatest enslavement known to man.

It is not enough to look African.

You have to embark on your journey to be African.

I wish you all the best.

Peace.

 

[femmenoire]

Well let me be that one person. I'm gonna cut my hair and inch after I wash it this weekend. Then I'm braiding it up on tuesday. NO more relaxers for me!!! I have seen the light..... My best friend offered me her help and I will gladly take any suggestions from my SOL sisters. Hopefully I can one day have beautiful hair like MI AMIGA FAVORITA LONESTAR SHE HAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HAIR ON SOL....

Good for you. I cut off all my hair a few months ago. Great feeling.

 

[Cinamiss]

Sister, this is the root of your problem: " it really pisses me off when others point the finger at us"



If you form your self-image based on people's opinion of you then you have a long road to self-discovery.

[The definition of success uses the European version which consists of the accumulation of material things that possess no infinite value but must be left on this earthly plane when we return to the Creator. This accumulation at any cost devalues your faith in the Creator as the source of all things.


.

Sorry Brother but I'm gonna disagree on this one.
My self image is based on:
The way I feel about myself
It's based on How I think I look.
How I see my personality
What kind of person I think I am
How much I value myself
The love I generate
My success

Even though I don't perm my hair, I still don't like to hear men talk bad about black women it does rub me the wrong way because i am a black women. It's like defending your sister

Maybe you could have called me materialistic a few years ago but I went through some changes in my life to free me from all of that. I have given away so much. I gave away almost everything I owned and started new. People thought I was crazy but it made me a better person

 

[water]

Sorry Brother but I'm gonna disagree on this one.
My self image is based on:
The way I feel about myself
It's based on How I think I look.
How I see my personality
What kind of person I think I am
How much I value myself
The love I generate
My success

Even though I don't perm my hair, I still don't like to hear men talk bad about black women it does rub me the wrong way because i am a black women. It's like defending your sister

Maybe you could have called me materialistic a few years ago but I went through some changes in my life to free me from all of that. I have given away so much. I gave away almost everything I owned and started new. People thought I was crazy but it made me a better person

You listed the things that make up your self-image.

Now ask yourself what those things are based on.

e.g.
The way I feel about myself: this is conditioned in us from our environment. What are the signals we get from our environment

The way how I think I look: also conditioned, ask your self by whom?

My success: Well how do you define success?


You listed the branches but you didn't state the foundation, the roots on which those things are based.


I'm not trying to be critical but I'm trying to let you see the issues is much deeper than stating "my success".

Success is defined differently amongst cultures and it may be that you are subscribing to the European model or not.

I would be interested in hearing about the roots of the things you listed..........

 

[MagicMarvin]

I wrote this while I was at work trying to make myself feel better.

For some time now. I’ve been growing out my natural hair. I’ve been hiding it under braids and weaves while in my transition. I see some length in it so I finally got up the nerve to wear it out. I went to work with mixed emotions. In one thought, I’m so proud of myself for going this long without putting any chemicals in my hair & taking out the the fake hair. In my other thoughts I’m skeptical about it being socially acceptable.
Anyway to make a long story short. When I went to work, I heard snickers all day. As the day progressed, it just got worse. I caught people making faces behind my back. And I overheard them laughing at me. Some people that usually speak would not even look at me. They stared at me and I felt like I was the joke of the day. By the end of the day I was even contemplating on buying a textur-izer. True story..............
With that said. I understand why black women hide behind weaves and perms. Because they try to make you hate yourself and who you are in your natural state. I also realized that you have to be a really strong female to wear naked virgin hair in this day and age.

Hang tough, my sister. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING more beautiful in this world than a well-groomed natural black woman - natural nails; natural hair no matter how short, long, or how styled; natural breast; naturally pretty skin, natural mind. You know where you came from. You know who you are. Please don't give in to the ignorant asses.

 

[ladyscorpio]

I guess it's different in Toronto cuz you can't just grow dreads for the heck of it here ... if you aren't gonna become a Rastafarian in the process then you get clowned and called a "fashion dread"I like dreads thoughSome people tell me from far my curls look like dreads lol

One does not simply become rasta.

I didn't like dreads until recently when my bf grew them. I wanted to hurt her at first because they always look dirty and unkept but when she did hers they were beautiful... And she explained to me that those who do it for religion are not ones to keep it up because they are anti-...uh...anti keeping up hair . I can't remember what she said exactly but I hope yall get my point.

lack of knowledge

**Thinking my e-woman needs to show her loc's...Her hair is gorgeous**

I've shown my dreads on here before suga. I havent taken any recent back shots though I f I do maybe I will share.

Your best friend is mis-lead.

Not trying to be a militant in your thread but for the record, it needs to be straightened out.

Hair is the crown of your head and it is very personal for some people.

Dirty and unkept is not a requirement for any religion that I know. Non-dread people also possess dirty and unkept hair but it would be stupid to categorize them (who i'm sure out number dread wearing people) like that.




Natural does not equate unkept.....

Natural is natural and we are each divine expressions of the works of the Creator.

I may look different to you or not conform to your standards but point a finger to the Creator. There is no better and best hair. We are who we are.

Try to look up the meaning of the word "dreadlock" and maybe you will understand what the meaning is and the message dreadlocks give out.


The hairdresser thing is not dread, it is locks.

The watering down of your culture to appease white society is not something I take lightly.

So are we to go "natural" as far as the white establishment would let us?

Is natural not to really mean natural?

Or would natural stay true to itself???

Peace.

Kaya bredren I enjoy when you post. Give thanks. bless

 

[LogicBlack]

Sister, this is the root of your problem: " it really pisses me off when others point the finger at us"



If you form your self-image based on people's opinion of you then you have a long road to self-discovery.

In European cultures the emphasis is on the development of "image", how you look, how you sound, the way you hold your eating utensils, the way you hold your glass etc....
It is based around the approval of others, praise is valued.
Saying "thanks" is expected whether or not you are thankful.
Smiling is expected even though you may not be pleased.
Deceit and denial is expected and rewarded.


In African cultures the emphasis is on the development of "self".
Self-confidence comes from within.
Inner strength i.e. strength that uses the trials you have overcome as a basis of its foundation.
Resilience, the ability to overcome life's storms and walk on the water of self doubt.

However it takes work to change what you have been taught.

You have been taught to see life through the eyes of the European.

Therefore you definition of beauty uses the European version as its basis.

The definition of success uses the European version which consists of the accumulation of material things that possess no infinite value but must be left on this earthly plane when we return to the Creator. This accumulation at any cost devalues your faith in the Creator as the source of all things.


How can you beat this game?

You have to come back home.

Home where the qualities we possessed enabled us to weather and overcome the greatest enslavement known to man.

It is not enough to look African.

You have to embark on your journey to be African.

I wish you all the best.

Peace.

Wonderful reply

 

[Cinamiss]

Sister, this is the root of your problem: " it really pisses me off when others point the finger at us"



If you form your self-image based on people's opinion of you then you have a long road to self-discovery.

In European cultures the emphasis is on the development of "image", how you look, how you sound, the way you hold your eating utensils, the way you hold your glass etc....
It is based around the approval of others, praise is valued.
Saying "thanks" is expected whether or not you are thankful.
Smiling is expected even though you may not be pleased.
Deceit and denial is expected and rewarded.


In African cultures the emphasis is on the development of "self".
Self-confidence comes from within.
Inner strength i.e. strength that uses the trials you have overcome as a basis of its foundation.
Resilience, the ability to overcome life's storms and walk on the water of self doubt.

However it takes work to change what you have been taught.

You have been taught to see life through the eyes of the European.

Therefore you definition of beauty uses the European version as its basis.

The definition of success uses the European version which consists of the accumulation of material things that possess no infinite value but must be left on this earthly plane when we return to the Creator. This accumulation at any cost devalues your faith in the Creator as the source of all things.


How can you beat this game?

You have to come back home.

Home where the qualities we possessed enabled us to weather and overcome the greatest enslavement known to man.

It is not enough to look African.

You have to embark on your journey to be African.

I wish you all the best.

Peace.

Almost all the black women I encounter sport lavishly long hair weaves, Weaves come in straight, curly and kinky textures. But most black women with weaves wear them to extend and straighten the appearance of their naturally tight coiled kinky hair. From the church to the mall, black women suit up in this straight-hair uniform. Natural, kinky hair -- which is most associated with being black it has also been tied to inferiority in the United States. For years black women have been burning their disobedient hair into submission. Walk into any beauty supply and you'll see a variety of harsh chemical products that promise black women unnappy hair.
After years of wearing the weaves and perms. I thought that the straight-hair phenomenon had little to do with a need to fit into mainstream social settings. I told myself these long weaves reflect my desire to try on a different feminine persona that has historically been appropriated for non black women. Throughout time, weaves and wigs have served as costumes for black women to put on when they want to look sexy. Deep down I knew my hair was being mistaken for my femininity upon entering the Asian-owned beauty-supply stores in predominantly black neighborhoods. Perhaps because they always keep saying: "Oh you pretty as if I need to hear that. But I ignored it and continued to lie to myself.
I guess I was trying to transform myself into another woman. I'd say. In a world where black women are constantly blunted by racial and sexual discrimination, it makes sense that we'd begin adopting counter-representations of ourselves. That's what the weave did for me. It gave me the freedom to be aloof, to flirt and to smile without fear of not receiving smiles in return.

That was the past. That is the root if you really want to know Kaya. But now the branches haves grown beautiful leaves and changed colors. It's never to late to change. I wish all black women would realize this. Peace Kaya I'm still learning in my journey
This is just the beginning of a new chapter

 

[water]

Almost all the black women I encounter sport lavishly long hair weaves, Weaves come in straight, curly and kinky textures. But most black women with weaves wear them to extend and straighten the appearance of their naturally tight coiled kinky hair. From the church to the mall, black women suit up in this straight-hair uniform. Natural, kinky hair -- which is most associated with being black it has also been tied to inferiority in the United States. For years black women have been burning their disobedient hair into submission. Walk into any beauty supply and you'll see a variety of harsh chemical products that promise black women unnappy hair.
After years of wearing the weaves and perms. I thought that the straight-hair phenomenon had little to do with a need to fit into mainstream social settings. I told myself these long weaves reflect my desire to try on a different feminine persona that has historically been appropriated for non black women. Throughout time, weaves and wigs have served as costumes for black women to put on when they want to look sexy. Deep down I knew my hair was being mistaken for my femininity upon entering the Asian-owned beauty-supply stores in predominantly black neighborhoods. Perhaps because they always keep saying: "Oh you pretty as if I need to hear that. But I ignored it and continued to lie to myself.
I guess I was trying to transform myself into another woman. I'd say. In a world where black women are constantly blunted by racial and sexual discrimination, it makes sense that we'd begin adopting counter-representations of ourselves. That's what the weave did for me. It gave me the freedom to be aloof, to flirt and to smile without fear of not receiving smiles in return.

That was the past. That is the root if you really want to know Kaya. But now the branches haves grown beautiful leaves and changed colors. It's never to late to change. I wish all black women would realize this. Peace Kaya I'm still learning in my journey
This is just the beginning of a new chapter

I wish you the very best.



Don' t think that in ancient times hair extensions were solely a thing of beauty.

There were rituals based around it. Europeans found artifacts and overlaid their concepts on their discovery.

Whenever anyone gets time to visit New York, please take a visit to Metropolitan Museum.
You will notice that African art all had a particular meaning whereas European art was commissioned for vanity purposes.

e.g. I saw a wig that young girls would wear to signify that she was passing into womanhood i.e. still acquiring the skills necessary to make her a woman.

In contrast all it takes in a Euro dominated society to be a woman is to reach the age of 18!



To all black women, stand strong.

We are at your side, don't ever under estimate our love.

Bless.

 

[Cinamiss]

Damn, yall got me thinkin bout growing dreads now.

Bump this for the chics who are thinking about going natural

Damn, I was feeling real fucked up when I wrote this

Lol, now I got dreads

 

[JofromthaNO]

3 1/2 months of new growth on my hair now

At the end of the summer, going for my big chop then...

Can't wait

 

[dHustla]

couple months ago

before I got my tattoos

IMG00250-20100405-2248.jpg

 

[dHustla]

After tats

http://www.zshare.net/image/7748818243f87e45/

 

[melonpecan]

Uh...I don't see the tats...


Been natural to my taste for a year now. Still on the hunt for readily available natural hair products but the Stuff in the yellow bottle by Soft Sheen Carson seems to be working well...

...Cinamiss congrats on your dreads...I still get the question but more power to you for rocking them...

 

[dHustla]

I really like Nature's Blessing. It's light, so it doesn't clog pores, it's all natural, it's got a pleasant smell, and it moisturizes & lasts as a moisturizer.
Days later I still have it on my scalp where other products would have dried up.

Ideally, I could use this on my scalp once a week....if I had someone to grease my scalp for me .

 

[dHustla]

You don't see them big ass tats on my chest & stomach?!

I think you're jealous that I ain't got your name tatted on me too!

 

[Izayoi]

It's interesting to look back on this thread. There's a lot of naturalness out there now depending on where you live and I think that's great. We should have representation of a wide range of beauty.

At this point I can't see really wearing my hair any other way for any significant length of time. I'll get bored and straighten it, but I've always come back to wearing it natural. On my worse natural hair day my hair still looks 10X better than my worst relaxed hair day.

Congrats Jo. I did my umpteenth big chop last March with about 5 inches of hair and my hair is already past shoulder length (almost to mid back in the back when i stretch it). The simpler you keep your routine the faster it grows. Eat well and exercise. I notice even my eyelashes grow when I eat well.

 

[Cinamiss]

3 1/2 months of new growth on my hair now

At the end of the summer, going for my big chop then...

Can't wait

Congrats, be patient and strong

couple months ago

before I got my tattoos

IMG00250-20100405-2248.jpg

I'm loving your locs, I can't wait till mine are that long

Uh...I don't see the tats...


Been natural to my taste for a year now. Still on the hunt for readily available natural hair products but the Stuff in the yellow bottle by Soft Sheen Carson seems to be working well...

...Cinamiss congrats on your dreads...I still get the question but more power to you for rocking them...

Thanks, and congarats to you. I am seeing so many more black women rocking their natural hair, we are making progress

I really like Nature's Blessing. It's light, so it doesn't clog pores, it's all natural, it's got a pleasant smell, and it moisturizes & lasts as a moisturizer.
Days later I still have it on my scalp where other products would have dried up.

Ideally, I could use this on my scalp once a week....if I had someone to grease my scalp for me .

Where do you get this from? I want to try it

 

[DeSiRe]

3 1/2 months of new growth on my hair now

At the end of the summer, going for my big chop then...

Can't wait

im a year and 2 months natural

but nobody will let me do the BC...they say its too long and every stylist keeps talking me out of it

 

[Izayoi]

im a year and 2 months natural

but nobody will let me do the BC...they say its too long and every stylist keeps talking me out of it

Fuck 'em! It's your hair and it's much easier to style without all those straight, scraggly ends. Whenever YOU feel comfortable go for it. There's so many resources now! When I big chopped in the early 90's I had one book and a wide tooth comb.

 

[dHustla]

Cinamiss, I don't know of any major chain stores that carry it. I get it from a few different spots here in Atlanta, both are on Ralph David Abernathy.

I hate new york, but it's made up there, so if you're up there then you should be able to find it. Or you can just google search and buy it online.

Locally, I paid $3.99 for some Sunday, I was out.

Think I can get Melon to grease my scalp?

 

[Cinamiss]

Fuck 'em! It's your hair and it's much easier to style without all those straight, scraggly ends. Whenever YOU feel comfortable go for it. There's so many resources now! When I big chopped in the early 90's I had one book and a wide tooth comb.

Yeah I agree, you can do way more when you get rid of the scrag and even though it's shorter, it looks sooo much better. That was the hardest part for me. I think I held on to it till I had no choice but to BC. Don't listen to the stylist because if it was up to them, you need a relaxer.

Cinamiss, I don't know of any major chain stores that carry it. I get it from a few different spots here in Atlanta, both are on Ralph David Abernathy.

I hate new york, but it's made up there, so if you're up there then you should be able to find it. Or you can just google search and buy it online.

Locally, I paid $3.99 for some Sunday, I was out.

Think I can get Melon to grease my scalp?

Okay I'll probaly get it online. I'm just using oil right now.

 

[DeSiRe]

Fuck 'em! It's your hair and it's much easier to style without all those straight, scraggly ends. Whenever YOU feel comfortable go for it. There's so many resources now! When I big chopped in the early 90's I had one book and a wide tooth comb.

im rocking a protective style right now

when i got it done last week i told my sylist if she doesnt cut it all off...i will do it myself

she was like noooooooooooooooooooo

i have a few stringy ends...but for the most part its getting harder and harder to tell what is relaxed and what is natural...im scared im gonna cut too much

 

[dHustla]

im rocking a protective style right now

when i got it done last week i told my sylist if she doesnt cut it all off...i will do it myself

she was like noooooooooooooooooooo

i have a few stringy ends...but for the most part its getting harder and harder to tell what is relaxed and what is natural...im scared im gonna cut too much

Baby, ain't no such thing as too much. It'll grow back in no time.



Listen at me... and I ain't cut my hair in 9 years. I need to clip my own damn edges.

 

[dHustla]

After tats

http://www.zshare.net/image/7748818243f87e45/

DeSiRe, you ain't even say nothing about my tattoo!!!

I'm not feelin' appreciated in dis Bitch!