Disclaimer: This is a long post. If you cain't reed, skip it!
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Based on my observations, conversations and experience, I think women have a formula for the answer to the question, "How many sexual partners have you had?" Here's the math:
Answer given =
[[(1.00- Percent rating as potential provider) * Actual number of partners)] + number of children in household ] * number of months you have known her/ been doing her
Example:
Let's say you have a decent job, earn between 50-100 K per year, and are disease free.
The hood rat in question is going to meet you and assess your provider rating as 90% (In other words, you are in the 90th percentile as far as eligible, stable providers go.). Let's also say she's had 38 actual partners, has three children she hasn't mentioned yet, and you've known her one month. Here's the math:
(([1.00 - 0.90] * 38) + 3) * 1= Answer
(([.10 * 38) + 3) * 1= Answer
(3.8 + 3) * 1= Answer
6.8 * 1= Answer
6.8 = Answer
The hood rat in question will shyly respond with the number "7" and then get into a conversation about how you feel about those seven partners. One night, about a month later, she's given you immaculate head skills, and you begin to wonder how she knows how to do that special thing she does with the back of her tongue.
You ask about her sexual experience- again. This time, the answer will be close to 14 (approximately 6.8 * 2), but it won't be a number. This time, she'll tell you about how she didn't count the times she was molested by the guy on the ice cream truck and that other time she went too far with her play cousin from the school across town. You begin to frown, but she turns around, bends over, and distracts you from all your follow up questions.
Another month goes by, and you notice that you're being clowned by various and sundry Negroes on the block. You do some research at the barber shop, and once they discover you've hit it too, they give you a free sample of Penicillin along with your edge up. By this time, your own research has given you a total of 24 partners, and you confront her about it. Unfortunately, you've interrupted her daily dose of Maury just as he was about to reveal the Baby Daddy, so she drops her assessment of you as a potential partner to 60%, cuz you're beginning to ask too many questions. Let's do the math again:
(([1.00 - 0.60] * 38) + 3) * 3= Answer
(([.40 * 38) + 3) * 3= Answer
(15.2 + 3) * 3= Answer
18.2 * 3= Answer
54 = Answer
She finally gives you the answer "Almost 60, mother------!"
How could this be?
While you were at work, at the barber shop, and managing your stock portfolio, homegirl was at the club, was getting picked up at the bus stop, and got a train run on her for a nickel bag of Purp. You guessed it- her new sexual escapades since she met you over the last three months have resulted in an extra 16 guys being added to the total. Go to the clinic without delay.
The moral of this story: Women lie and lie down as much as we do. Don't believe the hype.
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