How long before you gave it up

[PainInDAss]

so yeah, I'm asking how long would you make him wait before you gave it up. I've had many woman tell me they would only kiss on the first date, but then I end up hitting it. I dont' lose respect for them because they're grown women so they'll take it whenever they want. I am surprised at how fast I got it though, a plus for me.

but how long would you wait until you gave it up. do you have a standard that you stand by or do you go with the flow. I personally don't like doing it one the first date if I have no condoms or if I don't know a damn thing about her during the date. but let me know, it would be interesting to know this

gimme me anecdotal stories if you'd like.

thanks

 

[LoneStar29]

I like to wait until I feel ready ... just go with the feeling ... no set time frame

Now let me ask YOU a question:
Do you judge the woman based on how long it takes to get it??? For example the less time it takes the less respect you have for her???

 

[nick177th]

I like to wait until I feel ready ... just go with the feeling ... no set time frame

Now let me ask YOU a question:
Do you judge the woman based on how long it takes to get it??? For example the less time it takes the less respect you have for her???

I never ask/try the first night. Most of the time (at least the women I've dealt with) it leaves them wondering, dam, he didn't even ask for none. I got the impression that it messed with their egos a little. to me, it takes the whole "does he/she respect me'? factor out of it. Hell, if you got game, she ain't goin' nowhere. What's the rush? Anything after that, is open season. When we were kids, (late teens) me and my best friend went to a club one night. he met a girl in the club, tapped dat azz in the parking lot and came back in before I even realized he was gone. Now she definitely wouldn't be on my "to call" list. My boy got mad skillz as far as sayin' what a young lady wants to hear but Jeez, in the parking lot? I did get with one girl the first night we went out and we had a fairly long relationship. sidenote: we had been talking at work for a couple of weeks. Our schedules at work had not allowed us time to hook up until like two weeks after we had started talking.

 

[LoneStar29]

I never ask/try the first night. Most of the time (at least the women I've dealt with) it leaves them wondering, dam, he didn't even ask for none. I got the impression that it messed with their egos a little. to me, it takes the whole "does he/she respect me'? factor out of it. Hell, if you got game, she ain't goin' nowhere. What's the rush? Anything after that, is open season. When we were kids, (late teens) me and my best friend went to a club one night. he met a girl in the club, tapped dat azz in the parking lot and came back in before I even realized he was gone. Now she definitely wouldn't be on my "to call" list. My boy got mad skillz as far as sayin' what a young lady wants to hear but Jeez, in the parking lot? I did get with one girl the first night we went out and we had a fairly long relationship. sidenote: we had been talking at work for a couple of weeks. Our schedules at work had not allowed us time to hook up until like two weeks after we had started talking.

WTF

 

[DeSiRe]

it depends for me...

i guess its kinda opposite for me...when i was younger there was no time frame...and if that meant the first day so be it

now...i do actually wait at least a month...just so i can feel the guy out better and see if its even worth my time

ive heard the whole "i wont respect you less" line 30483904938 times...but id like to ask men these questions

1. how much does the chase affect your feelings and opinions about a woman u are interested in (also does it affect your courtship?...meaning if she gives it up early the less obligated u feel to take her out on dates)

2. i get that if yall smash the first night u wont respect her less...however does that lock her into a specific category (friends with bennifts...jump off...real cool home girl)

3. how does geting physical early affect men on a emotional level with the woman (if it does)

 

[PainInDAss]

I like to wait until I feel ready ... just go with the feeling ... no set time frame

Now let me ask YOU a question:
Do you judge the woman based on how long it takes to get it??? For example the less time it takes the less respect you have for her???

I don't judge a woman based on how fast she gives it to me becuase I'm old enough to wait for it. I learned to appreciate a woman's sensual side so it's easier to deal with. I can kiss her for hours and forgive her for my blue-balls,
I usually get it on the first date if I kiss them long enough for them to grab me down there and then I'm all in, but I don't lose respect for them becuase that's their perpective. sorry I took long to answer but BGOL was acting up on us, LOL. IF I don't get it on the first date, I'm cool. no need to fuss or fight over that becuase I've got hobbies or something to hold me over, LOL

 

[PainInDAss]

it depends for me...

i guess its kinda opposite for me...when i was younger there was no time frame...and if that meant the first day so be it

now...i do actually wait at least a month...just so i can feel the guy out better and see if its even worth my time

ive heard the whole "i wont respect you less" line 30483904938 times...but id like to ask men these questions

1. how much does the chase affect your feelings and opinions about a woman u are interested in (also does it affect your courtship?...meaning if she gives it up early the less obligated u feel to take her out on dates)

2. i get that if yall smash the first night u wont respect her less...however does that lock her into a specific category (friends with bennifts...jump off...real cool home girl)

3. how does geting physical early affect men on a emotional level with the woman (if it does)

on a serious Level, DeSire, I've learned that if I am physical with a woman on the first date, it will lead me nowhere and I will interest with the quickfast, I will respect her wanting to bang, but I think that getting to know one another is alot more important(I can't believe I just said that) than getting ass.......I'm older so I do like getting to know a woman before I get attached to her and I don't want to be possessive over her becuase that turns out into a disaster or whatever.

as for smashing on the first night, it all depends on how she takes it. I don't care for catagories, because women are going through evolutions as we speak with their rights being upgraded and whatnot(and I don't mind) so...I just think that alot of dudes are brought up with that mentality that women are weaker.


another thing is I don't care to call whoever I bang my jumpoff becuase that's just a term you share with friends you WANT to share that girl with, which I'm not going to do( call me possessive, whatever) I just dont' think that I'll detail my exploits like that in front my friends, not even my brother, nobody needs to know that, but my damn blog, which will get erased once the internet is no longer, LOL

 

[Mo-Better]

it depends for me...

i guess its kinda opposite for me...when i was younger there was no time frame...and if that meant the first day so be it

now...i do actually wait at least a month...just so i can feel the guy out better and see if its even worth my time

ive heard the whole "i wont respect you less" line 30483904938 times...but id like to ask men these questions

1. how much does the chase affect your feelings and opinions about a woman u are interested in (also does it affect your courtship?...meaning if she gives it up early the less obligated u feel to take her out on dates)

2. i get that if yall smash the first night u wont respect her less...however does that lock her into a specific category (friends with bennifts...jump off...real cool home girl)

3. how does geting physical early affect men on a emotional level with the woman (if it does)

1. I've been there where we hit it off so well it has happened. I've also had that happen and then regretted it. I now find the need to know who I'm with more important than just hitting it.

2. Sex happens but respecting someone the next day depends on how things went down the day/night before. Did we spend time talking, getting to know eack other? Did we go home or did this go down in the parking lot or in back of the club? Either way it doesn't end there. What were you like the next day? That is key! Did you want to get together do a movie, lunch, did we talk several times the next day? Could you even be reached the next day. There's many factors that determine how respected you'll be the next day.

3. Physical contact is needed establish the emotional level necessary for a relationship to survive or even develope. Without it all you had was a "meet and greet."

 

[Cleopatra_J]

I don't have a specific time period but I think it depends... For instance... if me and a guy we start talking and we hang out a few times a week, talk daily... I wouldn't feel bad if we had sex after a couple of weeks. Me and my ex saw each other every day (at school and such) talked daily we had sex after one month and we were together for about 5 years.... Now if I don't see someone often and we talk every so often they might have to wait longer... the guy I'm dealing with now, we talk daily but he lives a little farther away we didn't have sex until 3 months after we met.... so it really depends. but the times when I have had sex the first time me and someone chilled haven't really led to anything and I don't ever expect them to.

 

[LoneStar29]

I'm too horny to wait months ... but the first date ... NEVER ... you don't get any respect like that ... PERIOD

 

[Crown&Coke]

I dont understand the whole time limit thing. If you are feeling somebody and wanna do it, then do it. You are both grown so what difference does it make?​

 

[LoneStar29]

I dont understand the whole time limit thing. If you are feeling somebody and wanna do it, then do it. You are both grown so what difference does it make?​

From my experience I think the less time you wait the less respect you'll get and less likey you are to ever see him again

 

[AlexandMorgan]

From my experience I think the less time you wait the less respect you'll get and less likely you are to ever see him again

This may be true but make a man wait too long without a valid reason and you will be looking at his back as he walks away.

 

[Crown&Coke]

From my experience I think the less time you wait the less respect you'll get and less likey you are to ever see him again

Maybe I am a different kind of man or something becuz I dont think any different. I have had relationships with girls I had sex with the first time she came to my house and some that waited for a few weeks or months.​

 

[LoneStar29]

This may be true but make a man wait too long without a valid reason and you will be looking at his back as he walks away.

That's true too ... guess we need a middle groundthis whole dating thing is so fuckin' complicated ... DANG

 

[LoneStar29]

Maybe I am a different kind of man or something becuz I dont think any different. I have had relationships with girls I had sex with the first time she came to my house and some that waited for a few weeks or months.​

So it makes absolutely no diff to you at all??? C'mon ... there's gotta be a timeframe that you think is tooshort

 

[Crown&Coke]

So it makes absolutely no diff to you at all??? C'mon ... there's gotta be a timeframe that you think is tooshort

Now I admit I really aint tryin to meet a girl at a club and go fuck in the car right then, thats a lil too fast. But if I meet a girl, she pretty cool and one thing leads to another and we have sex later that night or the next day I dont see anything wrong with that.

Just becuz you make a man wait doesnt mean you not a hoe and if you fuck early doesnt make you a hoe. At least not in my eyes. At least have some reasoning behind doing what you do. Life is to short to be not doing something you wanna do​

 

[LoneStar29]

Now I admit I really aint tryin to meet a girl at a club and go fuck in the car right then, thats a lil too fast. But if I meet a girl, she pretty cool and one thing leads to another and we have sex later that night or the next day I dont see anything wrong with that.

Just becuz you make a man wait doesnt mean you not a hoe and if you fuck early doesnt make you a hoe. At least not in my eyes. At least have some reasoning behind doing what you do. Life is to short to be not doing something you wanna do​

I feel you ... I've never met a man with that sort of thought process in regards to this issue ... I agree ... I've always thought if he wants to play you he will wether you fuck him today or a year from now

The whole fucking in the club though is a bit muchI sort of thought fucking later that night too would end up like being more of a one night stand type thing

 

[Crown&Coke]

I feel you ... I've never met a man with that sort of thought process in regards to this issue ... I agree ... I've always thought if he wants to play you he will wether you fuck him today or a year from now

The whole fucking in the club though is a bit muchI sort of thought fucking later that night too would end up like being more of a one night stand type thing

I admit you gotta be careful. I once met a girl one day and then the next day I went to her place and she attacked me. After we were done she gets a phone call from some dude and all I hear is "I Love You but I will call you tomorrow becuz I am sleepy" and then she turns to me and is like "You know I got a boyfriend right" and I said "I do now." Now that kind of conduct might make one think. . .​

 

[LoneStar29]

I admit you gotta be careful. I once met a girl one day and then the next day I went to her place and she attacked me. After we were done she gets a phone call from some dude and all I hear is "I Love You but I will call you tomorrow becuz I am sleepy" and then she turns to me and is like "You know I got a boyfriend right" and I said "I do now." Now that kind of conduct might make one think. . .​

......................................... that is sooooooo triflin

I hate to meet a man and right off the bat he's all like "what are you doing TONIGHT" ... I'm like "NOT YOU"I know the quick fast I wanna see you now guys are also the quick fast let me hit it NOW and split kind of guysSo lame ... they have no class

 

[melonpecan]

A year.

I was a little young when I met my soul mate but thank the Lord we still going, (eight years this month).

Although I never did anything sexual with my other boyfriends when I put the Janet song on, (you know which one!), some seemed to back away...or is the fight more enjoyable to you men?

 

[LoneStar29]

A year.

I was a little young when I met my soul mate but thank the Lord we still going, (eight years this month).

Although I never did anything sexual with my other boyfriends when I put the Janet song on, (you know which one!), some seemed to back away...or is the fight more enjoyable to you men?

[flash]http://youtube.com/v/fvKhDiNME4E[/flash]

BIG TUNE

 

[Crown&Coke]

......................................... that is sooooooo triflin

I hate to meet a man and right off the bat he's all like "what are you doing TONIGHT" ... I'm like "NOT YOU"I know the quick fast I wanna see you now guys are also the quick fast let me hit it NOW and split kind of guysSo lame ... they have no class

I usually dont try to go home with a girl the first night I meet her, if she suggests it then I might but usually I just wait a few days to call unless she makes it clear she wants me to call later that night.​

 

[DeSiRe]

i dunno...

every dude i have had sex with has called back

that goes for guys i made wait...and guys i smashed on he first night

so maybe time isnt a facor

 

[Crown&Coke]

i dunno...

every dude i have had sex with has called back

that goes for guys i made wait...and guys i smashed on he first night

so maybe time isnt a facor

Its not for most guys. If the guy wasnt gonna call back it doesnt matter if you make him wait a few hours or a few months. If he wasnt gonna call back he most likely wont stick around to wait a few weeks or months.​

 

[PDQ21]

I always think Im gonna hit it the first time dont care

this is what I do son, especially if we had my house; home field advantage

I probably fucked around 30 chicks and like 24 of them i hit the first time around

Its 2 chicks that I chilled with like 3 times that I never hit and it still haunts me to this day cause I would love to say i tapped that ass

I know it sound mad arrogant maybe it is but I feel if I get the number and able to get pass the first conversation with her feelin me then Im hitting it Sometimes Im not feelin them and I dont wanna hit it tho

 

[LoneStar29]

i dunno...

every dude i have had sex with has called back

that goes for guys i made wait...and guys i smashed on he first night

so maybe time isnt a facor

So what you sayin' ... you got one of these
[flash]http://youtube.com/v/Vs4yFbvnZns&feature=related[/flash]

GO ON GIRL ... I AIN'T MAD AT CHA

 

[PDQ21]

Crazy thing about it is Im not even the type of dudes that be all over chicks

I always act like Im not necessarily feelin them like that but I would be gentlemen like and rough at the same time

Girls hate dudes they can run over and Im definitely not that type of dude

 

[DeSiRe]

Its not for most guys. If the guy wasnt gonna call back it doesnt matter if you make him wait a few hours or a few months. If he wasnt gonna call back he most likely wont stick around to wait a few weeks or months.​

i agree!!!

 

[DeSiRe]

So what you sayin' ... you got one of these
[flash]http://youtube.com/v/Vs4yFbvnZns&feature=related[/flash]

GO ON GIRL ... I AIN'T MAD AT CHA

 

[nick177th]

From my experience I think the less time you wait the less respect you'll get and less likey you are to ever see him again

I can't cosing on that one LS. I think what it really is is that. Two people really get caught up in how the other "looks" and don't wait to know the person. Then, after you start to really talk to one another, one figures out that they don't really like or care for the other person that much. People get caught up in what or who they "think" the other person is. Nice cover on the book but, then the book's not really a good read. ya feel me? And maybe the sex ain't that good right off the bat. Now, the flip side to that is, if you get to know the person first and like them, you may be willing to put up with "average" sex (if in fact it is average) 'cause you really like the person. The length of time it took me to "git wit" someone has never factored into how interested or disinterested I am in them.

 

[melonpecan]

[flash]http://youtube.com/v/fvKhDiNME4E[/flash]

BIG TUNE

lol

 

[Harlem's Angel]

From my experience I think the less time you wait the less respect you'll get and less likey you are to ever see him again

Not my experience but then again I don't have as much experience as many of the other female board members due to my age. But I think my situation is a rare one. I gave it up after two weeks.... He was sexy! lol

 

[jucurious]

hmmm let me think


i can look at most guys and get turned on by something about him....be it his appearence, his swag or w/e but is that enough to warrant me giving up my precious goods? no

and i'm more worried about my own self respect than how they feel about me.

if i gave it up to every dude i felt a sexual attraction to i would have been around the block a couple of times and I PERSONALLY do not find that attractive for a male or female

besides... i know of ppl i went to school with (male & female) who put on the perfect "show" until the panties/boxers drop....but they usually keep it moving or start catch actual feelings for the person if they hold out a bit. (u can still be used after waiting months tho but u know what i'm saying)

i guess i just don't mentally see the rush even when my body does w/ a magnifying glass...lol

 

[CT's Finest]

I never ask/try the first night. Most of the time (at least the women I've dealt with) it leaves them wondering, dam, he didn't even ask for none. I got the impression that it messed with their egos a little. to me, it takes the whole "does he/she respect me'? factor out of it. Hell, if you got game, she ain't goin' nowhere. What's the rush? Anything after that, is open season. When we were kids, (late teens) me and my best friend went to a club one night. he met a girl in the club, tapped dat azz in the parking lot and came back in before I even realized he was gone. Now she definitely wouldn't be on my "to call" list. My boy got mad skillz as far as sayin' what a young lady wants to hear but Jeez, in the parking lot? I did get with one girl the first night we went out and we had a fairly long relationship. sidenote: we had been talking at work for a couple of weeks. Our schedules at work had not allowed us time to hook up until like two weeks after we had started talking.

Word. Something about not trying a woman the first night really fucks with her pride/ego. It probably makes them a little more interested in getting physical. I have had a one night stand, but in general I feel like I'm interesting enough to make her want to do something beyond the first night (if nothing happens). Of course, if she wants to give it up then, it's cool with me...