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The Jumpoff Rules

femmenoire

femmenoire

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Many of my male compadres complain that women who agree to or even initiate jumpoffs change the rules after sex.

Now I, myself, have caught feelings after a jumpoff but I know that an agreement is an agreement and I keep it moving.

But what are the jumpoff rules?

How do you establish them and when?

What happens if you (guy or girl) decide you want more after the rules have been established?

And what do you do when one of you decides you want to be more than a jumpoff?
 
femmenoire said:
Many of my male compadres complain that women who agree to or even initiate jumpoffs change the rules after sex.

Now I, myself, have caught feelings after a jumpoff but I know that an agreement is an agreement and I keep it moving.

But what are the jumpoff rules?

How do you establish them and when?

What happens if you (guy or girl) decide you want more after the rules have been established?

And what do you do when one of you decides you want to be more than a jumpoff?
Click to expand...

Usually, when jumpoff rules are given..We (men) are being our most honest. Believe us.

..No calls to just say hello

When the phone call is made.. Both know whats up. Das it.
 
femmenoire said:
Many of my male compadres complain that women who agree to or even initiate jumpoffs change the rules after sex.

Now I, myself, have caught feelings after a jumpoff but I know that an agreement is an agreement and I keep it moving.

But what are the jumpoff rules?

How do you establish them and when?

What happens if you (guy or girl) decide you want more after the rules have been established?

And what do you do when one of you decides you want to be more than a jumpoff?
Click to expand...

ERRRRRRRRRRR.... Screeching brakes sound...YOUUUUUUUUU? Nawl, you must be speakin for someone else.:smh::smh: I'm too shocked to type:lol:
But the rules are, like my man said...no chitchat phone calls. We ain't prolly EVER going out. I'll see ya at my crib or yours. There won't be alotta snugglin later. I'm bouncin shortly after I catch my breath. You miss too many appointments, you may get dropped. The sex gotta be bananas. Don't ask me alotta questions that'll stress me. I'm with ya cuz we enjoy one thing. These are the rules that someone told me. Let me think, there may be a few more.
 
A real true jumpoff these rules just fall into place...If you have to think about it you may like the person more than you would a normal jumpoff;). I "dated" a guy like that once. We ended up trying to make a relationship out of it, but then I couldn't trust him cause I thought he was a freak.:rolleyes:
 
1. ALWAYS have Condoms with you:You will feel kinda stupid, huh? All that time to convince her, and now….NOTHING! Don’t even think about sleeping with the person without protection. You don’t want to RISK your life for a few hours (if you’re lucky) of pleasure!

2. Do NOT give them your phone number:

The last think you need is a stalker on your back! You need to be fast and sneaky! The less you know about this person (and the less they know about you!) the better one night stand you will make.

3. They MUST be a stranger:

Well don’t mess with your friends! It will become more complicated in case you or the other one starts to have feelings.

4. Do NOT be drunk:

You don’t have to care if he or she is drunk, but you don’t have to be! Have you ever seen how an ugly face transforms into a beautiful one with a fifth of vodka?

5. Do NOT go to your place:

Are you insane? All that time you’ve been trying to hide by not giving your phone number, and you bring your flirt to your place? Wrong! A nice hotel will do the trick, if you like it outdoors, also not a problem. Just don’t go to some place familiar! There is a chance that you will never get rid of them afterwards.

6. Do NOT use your car:

A car is like a symbol! He or she will never forget it! You don’t want every time you’re parked outside a restaurant with someone else to see that person again running towards you! You are too old to be hiding under tables!

7. Do NOT eat anything weird before:

You want to spend some time with that person; not with the porcelain altar! So be careful of your choices. A good salad (without onions or garlic) will do great for that day. Remember: flatulence is NOT a turn-on.

8. Do NOT fall asleep:

You may awake and see an ugly face staring at you. Or even worst, a table full of breakfast ready for both of you to enjoy… Your identity will be exposed, since you were sleeping like a pig and he or she was searching through your stuff! You will also realize that this one night stand might have been a mistake, after all… so be sneaky: do your ninja moves, try to leave the place without anyone noticing.

9. Do NOT leave any tracks:

Be sure that you won’t leave anything behind when you leave! A T-shirt, a lighter, a pair of gloves, even your used protection will be enough for the other person to search the entire world to find you! Anything you will forget might be used against you - learn from all those CSI episodes you’ve spent so much time on!

10. Do NOT kiss them when you leave:

In case that you failed to do something of the above, this would be one huge mistake! That would mean something more than a simple One Night Stand!
 
DigitalAngel2007 said:
A real true jumpoff these rules just fall into place...If you have to think about it you may like the person more than you would a normal jumpoff;). I "dated" a guy like that once. We ended up trying to make a relationship out of it, but then I couldn't trust him cause I thought he was a freak.:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

I must have astigmatism. :dunno: Did you say you couldn't trust him because you thought "he was a freak"? :D
 
black again said:
ERRRRRRRRRRR.... Screeching brakes sound...YOUUUUUUUUU? Nawl, you must be speakin for someone else.:smh::smh: I'm too shocked to type:lol:
But the rules are, like my man said...no chitchat phone calls. We ain't prolly EVER going out. I'll see ya at my crib or yours. There won't be alotta snugglin later. I'm bouncin shortly after I catch my breath. You miss too many appointments, you may get dropped. The sex gotta be bananas. Don't ask me alotta questions that'll stress me. I'm with ya cuz we enjoy one thing. These are the rules that someone told me. Let me think, there may be a few more.
Click to expand...



Let me be clear, this has happened twice in my life. The first time I was 20 and the last time was the last time. That was in 2003.
 
smoove2k6 said:
1. ALWAYS have Condoms with you:You will feel kinda stupid, huh? All that time to convince her, and now….NOTHING! Don’t even think about sleeping with the person without protection. You don’t want to RISK your life for a few hours (if you’re lucky) of pleasure!

2. Do NOT give them your phone number:

The last think you need is a stalker on your back! You need to be fast and sneaky! The less you know about this person (and the less they know about you!) the better one night stand you will make.

3. They MUST be a stranger:

Well don’t mess with your friends! It will become more complicated in case you or the other one starts to have feelings.

4. Do NOT be drunk:

You don’t have to care if he or she is drunk, but you don’t have to be! Have you ever seen how an ugly face transforms into a beautiful one with a fifth of vodka?

5. Do NOT go to your place:

Are you insane? All that time you’ve been trying to hide by not giving your phone number, and you bring your flirt to your place? Wrong! A nice hotel will do the trick, if you like it outdoors, also not a problem. Just don’t go to some place familiar! There is a chance that you will never get rid of them afterwards.

6. Do NOT use your car:

A car is like a symbol! He or she will never forget it! You don’t want every time you’re parked outside a restaurant with someone else to see that person again running towards you! You are too old to be hiding under tables!

7. Do NOT eat anything weird before:

You want to spend some time with that person; not with the porcelain altar! So be careful of your choices. A good salad (without onions or garlic) will do great for that day. Remember: flatulence is NOT a turn-on.

8. Do NOT fall asleep:

You may awake and see an ugly face staring at you. Or even worst, a table full of breakfast ready for both of you to enjoy… Your identity will be exposed, since you were sleeping like a pig and he or she was searching through your stuff! You will also realize that this one night stand might have been a mistake, after all… so be sneaky: do your ninja moves, try to leave the place without anyone noticing.

9. Do NOT leave any tracks:

Be sure that you won’t leave anything behind when you leave! A T-shirt, a lighter, a pair of gloves, even your used protection will be enough for the other person to search the entire world to find you! Anything you will forget might be used against you - learn from all those CSI episodes you’ve spent so much time on!

10. Do NOT kiss them when you leave:

In case that you failed to do something of the above, this would be one huge mistake!

That would mean something more than a simple One Night Stand!
Click to expand...

I think you and I are kindred spirits...at least sexually.
 
femmenoire said:
I think you and I are kindred spirits...at least sexually.
Click to expand...

It seems so, whether it be one night stands, or what we like in the bedroom, we seem to agree on alot. Not to mention, you now know what i can do with this tounge and curve.
 
smoove2k6 said:
1. ALWAYS have Condoms with you:You will feel kinda stupid, huh? All that time to convince her, and now….NOTHING! Don’t even think about sleeping with the person without protection. You don’t want to RISK your life for a few hours (if you’re lucky) of pleasure!

2. Do NOT give them your phone number:

The last think you need is a stalker on your back! You need to be fast and sneaky! The less you know about this person (and the less they know about you!) the better one night stand you will make.

3. They MUST be a stranger:

Well don’t mess with your friends! It will become more complicated in case you or the other one starts to have feelings.

4. Do NOT be drunk:

You don’t have to care if he or she is drunk, but you don’t have to be! Have you ever seen how an ugly face transforms into a beautiful one with a fifth of vodka?

5. Do NOT go to your place:

Are you insane? All that time you’ve been trying to hide by not giving your phone number, and you bring your flirt to your place? Wrong! A nice hotel will do the trick, if you like it outdoors, also not a problem. Just don’t go to some place familiar! There is a chance that you will never get rid of them afterwards.

6. Do NOT use your car:

A car is like a symbol! He or she will never forget it! You don’t want every time you’re parked outside a restaurant with someone else to see that person again running towards you! You are too old to be hiding under tables!

7. Do NOT eat anything weird before:

You want to spend some time with that person; not with the porcelain altar! So be careful of your choices. A good salad (without onions or garlic) will do great for that day. Remember: flatulence is NOT a turn-on.

8. Do NOT fall asleep:

You may awake and see an ugly face staring at you. Or even worst, a table full of breakfast ready for both of you to enjoy… Your identity will be exposed, since you were sleeping like a pig and he or she was searching through your stuff! You will also realize that this one night stand might have been a mistake, after all… so be sneaky: do your ninja moves, try to leave the place without anyone noticing.

9. Do NOT leave any tracks:

Be sure that you won’t leave anything behind when you leave! A T-shirt, a lighter, a pair of gloves, even your used protection will be enough for the other person to search the entire world to find you! Anything you will forget might be used against you - learn from all those CSI episodes you’ve spent so much time on!

10. Do NOT kiss them when you leave:

In case that you failed to do something of the above, this would be one huge mistake! That would mean something more than a simple One Night Stand!
Click to expand...

:lol: Those are the one night stand rules...I got that in a email forward before. The jumpoff/cut buddy rules are kinda different 'cause you're gonna see them more than once. Basically they are...

1. Only call or text when you you want to get "jumped off". None of that "just calling to see how you were doing" shit.
2. ALWAYS wrap it up!
3. No catching feelings
4. IF you do happen to catch strong feelings, and the other person doesn't wanna go in that direction, accept it or KEEP IT MOVING!!
5. No spending the night...you're only asking for trouble...all that cuddling and shit. Take your ass home!
6. Limit the hanging out...spending time together only leads to getting to know someone, which will lead to someone catching feelings...see rule 3
7. If you see your cut buddy in public alone...speaking is acceptable. A QUICK hug may be permissible, depending on the location. On the other hand, if he/she is with their significant other...NO acknowledgement of any kind is permitted. It's better that way...introducing your cut buddy as "an old friend" or a "former co-worker" will come back to bite you down the road...it never fails.
8. See rule 1...I've messed with some chicks that couldn't seem to understand this one...DAMN!
 
Last edited:
SickMyDuck said:
:lol: Those are the one night stand rules...I got that in a email forward before. The jumpoff/cut buddy rules are kinda different 'cause you're gonna see them more than once. Basically they are...

1. Only call or text when you you want to get "jumped off". None of that "just calling to see how you were doing" shit.
2. ALWAYS wrap it up!
3. No catching feelings
4. IF you do happen to catch strong feelings, and the other person doesn't wanna go in that direction, accept it or KEEP IT MOVING!!
5. No spending the night...you're only asking for trouble...all that cuddling and shit. Take your ass home!
6. Limit the hanging out...spending time together only leads to getting to know someone, which will lead to someone catching feelings...see rule 3.
7. See rule 1...I've messed with some chicks that couldn't seem to understand this one. DAMN!
Click to expand...

Jumpoff rules for married men
1. Calls only, u in my phone under my cousins office number -no text!!
2.Always Wrap it up - dont bring nothing home to wifey(disease or baby)
3. No feelings - NEVER
4. if you or the other catch feelings - run and run fast
5. never sleep over - never no explaining that shit
6. limit time hanging out - two counties over at the white sports bar
7. break rule one or any other rule and its over
 
To me, there are different 2 levels of jumpoffs. You have the ones like Fatsack said, then you have the ones where you can chill with the person on a social level and a sexual level, but you tell the female that you don't want a relationship.....

As far as me, I have no rules....I just go with the flow. No expectations, no regrets. If I have to put limitations on a relationship with a female, or if I see that her feelings may get deeper if we were to sleep with each other, then i'm better off not even going the sex route.
 
Only one TRUE rule: KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO, AND PLAY YOUR POSITION! :yes:

Too many times it has been established that "all this will be is just some occasional sex" but later it turns into arguments, hurt feelings and a multitude of other relationship-like situations.

As a married cat I can say that this is the most common rule, and the most ignored....that is until someone's feelings get hurt.
 
"look We Fuck Thass It" Fuck All The Rules
If You Catch Feelings You On Some Bullshit And You Will Be Dealt With Accordingly I.e Dropped,heartbroken( Why Bother 2 Make It More Than It Is Son.
That All
 
Why participate in something called, a " Jumpoff ".

Is it ever good when you JUMP OFF anything, like a cliff!

:rolleyes:
 
SickMyDuck said:
1. Only call or text when you you want to get "jumped off". None of that "just calling to see how you were doing" shit.
2. ALWAYS wrap it up!
3. No catching feelings
4. IF you do happen to catch strong feelings, and the other person doesn't wanna go in that direction, accept it or KEEP IT MOVING!!
5. No spending the night...you're only asking for trouble...all that cuddling and shit. Take your ass home!
6. Limit the hanging out...spending time together only leads to getting to know someone, which will lead to someone catching feelings...see rule 3.
7. See rule 1...I've messed with some chicks that couldn't seem to understand this one. DAMN!
Click to expand...

I swear, I'm about to send this to the cut buddy, because he breaks Nos. 1, 5, 6, & 7 ALL the damn time. And got the nerve to look at me all crazy when I told him don't come over if sex ain't on the agenda. If I need someone to talk to, that's what the roomie and my cell phone is for. This ain't no bed and breakfast, homie bounce. :smh:

Plan_B said:
Only one TRUE rule: KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO, AND PLAY YOUR POSITION! :yes:

Too many times it has been established that "all this will be is just some occasional sex" but later it turns into arguments, hurt feelings and a multitude of other relationship-like situations.
Click to expand...

So true.
 
SuperGenius said:
As far as me, I have no rules....I just go with the flow. No expectations, no regrets. If I have to put limitations on a relationship
Click to expand...

yeah... I agree with that...

Plan_B said:
Only one TRUE rule: KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO, AND PLAY YOUR POSITION! :yes:

Too many times it has been established that "all this will be is just some occasional sex" but later it turns into arguments, hurt feelings and a multitude of other relationship-like situations.

As a married cat I can say that this is the most common rule, and the most ignored....that is until someone's feelings get hurt.
Click to expand...

Absolutely!!! Know what role you play... that's how feelings get hurt when people get outta pocket... Shit, don't pretend you wanna be with me if you just wanna fuck... state what it is, so we both can be clear and later on there are no problems...
 
SinaminDelite said:
I swear, I'm about to send this to the cut buddy, because he breaks Nos. 1, 5, 6, & 7 ALL the damn time. And got the nerve to look at me all crazy when I told him don't come over if sex ain't on the agenda. If I need someone to talk to, that's what the roomie and my cell phone is for. This ain't no bed and breakfast, homie bounce. :smh:
Click to expand...

Sinamin you crazy :lol:

I feel you though...a former cut buddy of mine used to wanna spend the night, and when she did...she'd hang around like she was expecting fresh towels and an egg-white omlette in the morning. I'm like Damn!
 
femmenoire said:
Girl this is going to have me laughing all day today at work.:lol:
Click to expand...

:lol: My roomie said the same thing about me and dudes situation. She hears all the stupid things I tell this man. I told him that two nights ago. I wasn't even trying to be funny... maybe that's why he looked at me sideways. He's the reason I go to the gym at 6 AM. I wake his ass up after sleeping for three hours, his clothes laid neatly on the edge of the bed, talking about, "I'm going to the gym, and you have 5 minutes to walk out this door." I toss his ass some baby wipes (no he doesn't even get a washcloth) and call it a day. He's been doing it for about two months now & I just snapped the other day. I got stories about his trifling ass :smh:
 
You're a woman, so a jump off may not be your cup of tea(it usually isn't) Men can seperate love from sex. no offense, but men just do it naturally. we're bred to spread our seed as much as we can, though we have Magnums to prevent that .
 
PainInDAss said:
You're a woman, so a jump off may not be your cup of tea(it usually isn't) Men can seperate love from sex. no offense, but men just do it naturally. we're bred to spread our seed as much as we can, though we have Magnums to prevent that .
Click to expand...

The jump off situation suits me fine right now. I'm in my last year of school, and I know me. If I were in a relationship, I'd give it my all and school would take a backseat, which I can not afford to do. And the pocket rocket and toys are great in a pinch, but sometimes I want to feel a man's touch. It's a carnal feeling, has nothing to do with wanting to have a man to call my own. I have no problems separating love from sex. My issue is if we're cut buddies, don't try to switch it up on the low and expect me to go along with it.
 
PainInDAss said:
You're a woman, so a jump off may not be your cup of tea(it usually isn't) Men can seperate love from sex. no offense, but men just do it naturally. we're bred to spread our seed as much as we can, though we have Magnums to prevent that .
Click to expand...

What's funny is when a man no longer wants a jumpoff situation, his ass can't handle it. He goes ballistic!
 
One of my mistakes is I will start something up with a chic who will not have a serious dude in her life. That's a NO NO. Because even though I am hitched and she knows that, I ultimately become her dude (in her mind).

It may sound wild but now a days if you don't have a dude you are with, husband or something, I can't get down with you. There needs to be something that occupies your time besides me (or thoughts of me). Recipe for a broken heart right there.

Asking if we can go out of town together, trying to hook up on days like Valentines Day and all that....NO DICE. A strong minded sister who knows what she wants is the ONLY kind that can handle the "Jump Off"....anything else would make her your other girlfriend or as white people call them "mistresses".

Real talk.:cool:
 
My main thing is dont catch feelings because then its over. I dont want to hurt your feelings but i will. I learned that if your just fucking somebody there are going to let a lot more freak out than somebody your trying to get at. I got one now that i have 6 text from while i was sleep, ima have to cancel her. Thats something for the how do you know a bitch is crazy thread.
Which leads me to the its always at your house rule until i find out if your crazy or not. I dont need some crazy person banging on my door in the middle of the night because she cant get no dick. It sounds good in theory but no in reality
Dont ask me where are we going with this or what am i thinking? That is the number one mood killer. I had one woman ask me what i was thinking in the middle of sex and (this was after earlier she trying to take it further (movies, dinner etc), i told her im thinking about busting a nut what the fuck you think im thinking about. :hmm: i bounced told her i was moving out of state in a few days

My thing is if we just fucking, we both feeling a temporary need which helps you make a more informed decision on who you want to date, without your pussy getting in the way of your judgement. Im like good luck chuck, most of my jump offs get married within a year.
 
In my experience women say they can handle a jump off situation, but most I've dealt with couldn't. Like the last one I stopped fucking about a month ago. I met her in the course of doing business. Since I never mix business with pleasure and since the business I'm in takes about 45 days to complete from the time I meet the client, I kept things on the level. After business was done, she called me wanting to thank me and invited me to dinner to show her appreciation. At the dinner table, we laughed and joked, just keeping the mood light. Before the night was finished, she hit me with the 'I need a man like you' thing and 'why don't you have a girlfriend.' Right then, I laid it out about how I dont want a relationship, how I'm focusing on business and that if a woman does come into my life, here are the terms. I new this was coming. Needless to say, she agreed to the terms and in three days I was smashing. We fucked about 2nights a week for about a month, maybe month and a half. One night after we both busted, while putting her clothes on and preparing to leave, she says something like 'I know I agreed to this, but I'm starting to care about you and it's like you have no feelings at all.' Cotdayum!!!!

On the flipside, I had a jumpoff to last about 2 years. We are good friends today. Haven't fucked in a while, but we flirt all the time.

My only rules are:

1) Don't ask me about what I do when you're not around
2) No relationship
3) No spending time unless the pussy is involved
4) No introducing me to the kid/kids
5) Respect me and I will you
6) I will always strap up
 
Last edited:
SickMyDuck said:
:lol: Those are the one night stand rules...I got that in a email forward before. The jumpoff/cut buddy rules are kinda different 'cause you're gonna see them more than once. Basically they are...

1. Only call or text when you you want to get "jumped off". None of that "just calling to see how you were doing" shit.
2. ALWAYS wrap it up!
3. No catching feelings
4. IF you do happen to catch strong feelings, and the other person doesn't wanna go in that direction, accept it or KEEP IT MOVING!!
5. No spending the night...you're only asking for trouble...all that cuddling and shit. Take your ass home!
6. Limit the hanging out...spending time together only leads to getting to know someone, which will lead to someone catching feelings...see rule 3.
7. See rule 1...I've messed with some chicks that couldn't seem to understand this one. DAMN!
Click to expand...

:):):)

Someone should send these rules into Essence, Ebony, XXL so more people can check them for sure.

:):):)
 
swiftandsilent said:
:):):)

Someone should send these rules into Essence, Ebony, XXL so more people can check them for sure.

:):):)
Click to expand...

Let me make sure I get this.. some of ya'll are fucking so much that you need a protocol to make sure neither party catches feelings for the other? Yet there was enough of a mutual attraction to bring you together to fuck... OK.. I will have to cross check this with the ladies, because the ninjas are just led around by their dicks: Is it just me, or does this seem just a little bit fucked up??? Maybe I guess because I'm a older than a lot of ya'll (40s), but I have the misfortune of kinda liking everybody I happen to fuck. Do I want all of them for a girlfriend? NO. But I mean, why fuck somebody I don't like unless I just straight up give them a couple of C's and be on my way?

Am I missing somethign?
 

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