ladies some advice please.

[entouragechick]

I've been in a relationship with this guy for about four months going on five. Well yesterday he had been drinking with his friends..and I was out with my friends at a christmas party. He sent me a txt saying "yo I can't be with you anymore".

It fucked me up, he broke up with me in a text. So..I called him he didnt answer. Today..I have 30 texts, 15 e-mails, and I lost count with the voicemail messages. They all say the same things in different variations. "I'm sorry..i was drunk" "I love you I didnt mean it.." "I'll do anything for you to talk to me again.."

I love him but, for him to say this...wouldn't it mean it's been on his mind? and that's how he really feels? I've always been told a drunk person speaks a sober mind. I'm torn..what would you guys do?

 

[femmenoire]

It's a new day. A lot of people are communicating via text. People are breaking up via text, even employers are firing people via texting.

I personally think it's unacceptable in any and every case.

Now barring the vehicle in which he used to transmit his message, he sent THAT message after hanging out with his buddies and drinking. He sounds easily influenced.

Is he trying to find a reason to end it? And can you really believe anyone who says they love you after 4 or 5 months. HE DOESN'T KNOW YOU.

You should have sent a text message back saying, "Thanks for relieving me of the dreaded task of breaking up with you first".

 

[Cleopatra_J]

You should have sent a text message back saying, "Thanks for relieving me of the dreaded task of breaking up with you first".

That's vindictive

Idk what I would do in that situation, you should hear him out... at least... Because texts are so impersonal, and anyone can send them, you don't know if it was actually him... If he begins to say that it was a friend playing a joke.. you would need for him to do something to that friend so that he knows that he crossed a serious boundary by fucking up his relationship.

But you also need to take this time and address any problems in the relationship, if you want it to work out.. things that he doesn't like and things that you don't like.. talk about them... don't just let them blow away in the wind...

 

[entouragechick]

Yeah...I've known him a year...but we only started dating in July. And..yeah I agree text messages are impersonal...but my main problem was the fact that he said what he said. Even if I do forgive him..I won't forget. Call me emotional but those words are like a point of no return to me. We've been having some problems..but for him to say that to me..and in a text message..was just fucked up. I don't know whether to follow my heart or my brain on this one. But thanks for the reply ladies.

 

[femmenoire]

Yeah...I've known him a year...but we only started dating in July. And..yeah I agree text messages are impersonal...but my main problem was the fact that he said what he said. Even if I do forgive him..I won't forget. Call me emotional but those words are like a point of no return to me. We've been having some problems..but for him to say that to me..and in a text message..was just fucked up. I don't know whether to follow my heart or my brain on this one. But thanks for the reply ladies.

You actually do know whether or not you should follow your heart or your brain. You also know that you won't like the answer.

 

[INVICTUS3RD]

I've been in a relationship with this guy for about four months going on five. Well yesterday he had been drinking with his friends..and I was out with my friends at a christmas party. He sent me a txt saying "yo I can't be with you anymore".

It fucked me up, he broke up with me in a text. So..I called him he didnt answer. Today..I have 30 texts, 15 e-mails, and I lost count with the voicemail messages. They all say the same things in different variations. "I'm sorry..i was drunk" "I love you I didnt mean it.." "I'll do anything for you to talk to me again.."

I love him but, for him to say this...wouldn't it mean it's been on his mind? and that's how he really feels? I've always been told a drunk person speaks a sober mind. I'm torn..what would you guys do?

I AIN'T NO CHICK...BUT I HAD TO RING IN MY 2 CENTS...IF THAT IS COOL WITH THE LADIES ON THE BOARD?

EVER THINK THAT HE WAS NOT TEXTING U...BUT THE NEXT CHICK? THINK ABOUT THAT.

SORRY LADIES FOR DISTRUPING YOUR GROOVE HERE.

 

[entouragechick]

You actually do know whether or not you should follow your heart or your brain. You also know that you won't like the answer.

Yes..I suppose. Either way I go I don't think I'll be happy with my decision. It's a catch 22 ...

 

[Cleopatra_J]

Yeah...I've known him a year...but we only started dating in July. And..yeah I agree text messages are impersonal...but my main problem was the fact that he said what he said. Even if I do forgive him..I won't forget. Call me emotional but those words are like a point of no return to me. We've been having some problems..but for him to say that to me..and in a text message..was just fucked up. I don't know whether to follow my heart or my brain on this one. But thanks for the reply ladies.

Hardest choice ever.... I am such a romantic, i love to think that following your heart will prevail.. I totally understand the not forgetting part... do we ever forget? I find that nearly impossible! Even if you decide to use your brain... you're heart is still going to be somewhere else...

he was dead wrong for what he said... and how he said it... but like I said before .. if you really think its worth it...

true story: my ex, when we first started dating (granted we were young as hell) but he did some real foul shit.. told me the girl b4 me died and he wasn't ready to really b serious with someone else... that shit had me fucked up in the head... but then he was like no, i think i wanna work it out... Come to find out... homegirl ain't dead!!!!!! He was lying going out of town to see her, tell ing me he was seeing his sick aunt....( DarkCity) I didn't find any of this out until later.. but the point is... some things can be excused early in a relationship that could be seen as unforgivable later...We ended up being together for 5 years... but later on in the relationship when there were lies... they couldn't be forgiven...

 

[femmenoire]

Yes..I suppose. Either way I go I don't think I'll be happy with my decision. It's a catch 22 ...

You will live and essentially, eventually...you will learn. Most likely, THW.

 

[entouragechick]

I AIN'T NO CHICK...BUT I HAD TO RING IN MY 2 CENTS...IF THAT IS COOL WITH THE LADIES ON THE BOARD?

EVER THINK THAT HE WAS NOT TEXTING U...BUT THE NEXT CHICK? THINK ABOUT THAT.

SORRY LADIES FOR DISTRUPING YOUR GROOVE HERE.

Nah you're good. That's always a possibility..However not to sound naive..I think it was meant for me, we've been having problems. Even though he claims he didnt mean't it, there is truth to it.

 

[entouragechick]

Hardest choice ever.... I am such a romantic, i love to think that following your heart will prevail.. I totally understand the not forgetting part... do we ever forget? I find that nearly impossible! Even if you decide to use your brain... you're heart is still going to be somewhere else...

he was dead wrong for what he said... and how he said it... but like I said before .. if you really think its worth it...

true story: my ex, when we first started dating (granted we were young as hell) but he did some real foul shit.. told me the girl b4 me died and he wasn't ready to really b serious with someone else... that shit had me fucked up in the head... but then he was like no, i think i wanna work it out... Come to find out... homegirl ain't dead!!!!!! He was lying going out of town to see her, tell ing me he was seeing his sick aunt....( DarkCity) I didn't find any of this out until later.. but the point is... some things can be excused early in a relationship that could be seen as unforgivable later...We ended up being together for 5 years... but later on in the relationship when there were lies... they couldn't be forgiven...

Wow...I'm sorry about that. REAL immature, but I guess we can blame that on your age at the time. Thanks...I think I know what I should do...

 

[INVICTUS3RD]

Nah you're good. That's always a possibility..However not to sound naive..I think it was meant for me, we've been having problems. Even though he claims he didnt mean't it, there is truth to it.

SINCE U OPENED THE DOOR...THAT WAS A CHILDISH WAY OF HANDLING THINGS...I COULD SEE WHY U OR ANY MAN OR WOMAN WOULD GET UPSET ABOUT THAT...IF U DO GET BACK TOGETHER, WHICH I AM NOT ENCOURAGING, U ARE GONNA SEE MORE CHILDISH SHIT COME OUTTA HIM...I BELIEVE IN 2ND CHANCES, BUT KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN...THAT MOVE WAS A SNEAK PREVIEW...I AM NOT SAYING LOOK FOR SHIT, BUT...DO NOT SLEEP ON THIS CAT...LIFE IS 2 SHORT FOR DUMB SHIT (excuse my French) ONE OF THE REASONS I AM SINGLE NOW...TOO MANY GAMES BEING PLAYED LEFT AND RIGHT...AND THAT SUCKS...LOVE, TRUST, HONESTY, LOYALITY, SUPPORT...FOREIGN LANGUAGES AND CONCEPTS...IF U KEEP IT MOVIN' AND BOUNCE FROM THIS LITTLE BOY...CHECK MY 1ST POST I DID FOR THE LADIES IN THIS FORUM...TRUST ME...IT WILL HELP.

As always...
I wish you love,
I wish you heaven.

INVICTUS3RD

 

[ladyscorpio]

Yeah...I've known him a year...but we only started dating in July. And..yeah I agree text messages are impersonal...but my main problem was the fact that he said what he said. Even if I do forgive him..I won't forget. Call me emotional but those words are like a point of no return to me. We've been having some problems..but for him to say that to me..and in a text message..was just fucked up. I don't know whether to follow my heart or my brain on this one. But thanks for the reply ladies.

entourage dear you already know it seems on some level what you want to do. However, because you want to believe that there is some hope you are holding yourself back. If you say that you could forgive him but you know that you would not forget then you know that what you have with him is over.

Reality hun, don't hold on to a only hoped for possibility but to a surety.
Let him go and like the saying goes if he is truly yours you will find the way back to each other.


Thats only my 2c dear


peace

 

[Adam Knows]

Nah you're good. That's always a possibility..However not to sound naive..I think it was meant for me, we've been having problems. Even though he claims he didnt mean't it, there is truth to it.

alcohol does bring out the truth......so i've witnessed.

 

[BrownTurd]

Yeah...I've known him a year...but we only started dating in July. And..yeah I agree text messages are impersonal...but my main problem was the fact that he said what he said. Even if I do forgive him..I won't forget. Call me emotional but those words are like a point of no return to me. We've been having some problems..but for him to say that to me..and in a text message..was just fucked up. I don't know whether to follow my heart or my brain on this one. But thanks for the reply ladies.

You shoulld have just asked a guy if you wanted a true answer. When you say dating. Is this when you started fucking him?

 

[KINGFROMQUEENS]

I've been in a relationship with this guy for about four months going on five. Well yesterday he had been drinking with his friends..and I was out with my friends at a christmas party. He sent me a txt saying "yo I can't be with you anymore".

It fucked me up, he broke up with me in a text. So..I called him he didnt answer. Today..I have 30 texts, 15 e-mails, and I lost count with the voicemail messages. They all say the same things in different variations. "I'm sorry..i was drunk" "I love you I didnt mean it.." "I'll do anything for you to talk to me again.."

I love him but, for him to say this...wouldn't it mean it's been on his mind? and that's how he really feels? I've always been told a drunk person speaks a sober mind. I'm torn..what would you guys do?

i am not a lady but i been in the game a long time.

1. you said it yourself " a drunk mind...." that shit is true. people say and do things when they are drunk, that they dont have the balls to do sober.

2. why would you want to be with someone who cant face you during hard times.

3. 4 months ???? you dont love him. you love how he makes you feel, and the idea of having a "man". you dont have a man mam,a you have a boy. keep it moving , you will find that man someday and he wont treat you like this.

 

[entouragechick]

You shoulld have just asked a guy if you wanted a true answer. When you say dating. Is this when you started fucking him?

Well..he claims he "doesn't" mean it. I'm not talking to him right now, I'm probably going to get in touch with him later on today...or maybe I should wait until after my exams tomorrow . But yeah, he says he's so sick or whatever...I don't know he's confusing me.

And when I said dating, I mean't when we made it monogamous. I really appreciate everyone responding to this.

 

[KINGFROMQUEENS]

Well..he claims he "doesn't" mean it. I'm not talking to him right now, I'm probably going to get in touch with him later on today...or maybe I should wait until after my exams tomorrow . But yeah, he says he's so sick or whatever...I don't know he's confusing me.

And when I said dating, I mean't when we made it monogamous. I really appreciate everyone responding to this.

whatever you decide good luck

 

[entouragechick]

entourage dear you already know it seems on some level what you want to do. However, because you want to believe that there is some hope you are holding yourself back. If you say that you could forgive him but you know that you would not forget then you know that what you have with him is over.

Reality hun, don't hold on to a only hoped for possibility but to a surety.
Let him go and like the saying goes if he is truly yours you will find the way back to each other.


Thats only my 2c dear


peace

Thanks lady, true words there.

 

[entouragechick]

whatever you decide good luck

Thank you

 

[Noir]

I've been in a relationship with this guy for about four months going on five. Well yesterday he had been drinking with his friends..and I was out with my friends at a christmas party. He sent me a txt saying "yo I can't be with you anymore". (Strike One)

It fucked me up, he broke up with me in a text. So..I called him he didnt answer. (Strike Two) Today..I have 30 texts, 15 e-mails, and I lost count with the voicemail messages. They all say the same things in different variations. "I'm sorry..i was drunk" (Strike Three) "I love you I didnt mean it.." "I'll do anything for you to talk to me again.."

I love him but, for him to say this...wouldn't it mean it's been on his mind? and that's how he really feels? I've always been told a drunk person speaks a sober mind. I'm torn..what would you guys do?

Another male opinion:

Three Strikes, you're out . . . But, if you wish to get some justification over your decision to dump him (which I think is what you are leaning towards based on the other posts in this thread), and to ease your conscience (which you should not worry about in either case), have a talk with him.

Ask him honestly, why did he text what he did. Even though he will protest that he did not mean it, ask him WHY IN THAT MOMENT DID HE WRITE THAT TEXT. See if he gives you an honest answer or more bullshit "Oh, I love you baby," posturing.

1) If he is a real man and does reveal the reasons behind him writing such a text, fine, he admitted why the two of you cannot work out (apart from what he did to begin with), and you can ease your mind.

2) If he does not reveal the reason, then you know that he cannot even be honest and have a serious discussion with you -- giving you more reason to dump the loser.

Just be strong and do not give in to his pleas to get back together in an attempt to work things out. Meet him in a public place (like a coffee shop) rather at his place or yours so that you will not feel weak and end up being swayed into bed. Though it will be tough at first, you will get through the pain and actually be better off eventually when you meet someone that truly appreciates and respects you.

 

[entouragechick]

Another male opinion:

Three Strikes, you're out . . . But, if you wish to get some justification over your decision to dump him (which I think is what you are leaning towards based on the other posts in this thread), and to ease your conscience (which you should not worry about in either case), have a talk with him.

Ask him honestly, why did he text what he did. Even though he will protest that he did not mean it, ask him WHY IN THAT MOMENT DID HE WRITE THAT TEXT. See if he gives you an honest answer or more bullshit "Oh, I love you baby," posturing.

1) If he is a real man and does reveal the reasons behind him writing such a text, fine, he admitted why the two of you cannot work out (apart from what he did to begin with), and you can ease your mind.

2) If he does not reveal the reason, then you know that he cannot even be honest and have a serious discussion with you -- giving you more reason to dump the loser.

Just be strong and do not give in to his pleas to get back together in an attempt to work things out. Meet him in a public place (like a coffee shop) rather at his place or yours so that you will not feel weak and end up being swayed into bed. Though it will be tough at first, you will get through the pain and actually be better off eventually when you meet someone that truly appreciates and respects you.

thanks Noir.. I'm definately feeling what you just said. He already gave me reasons, however we haven't "talked" yet. I'm supposed to be meeting him for lunch tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes...

 

[Cinamiss]

Hey, did it ever occur to you that maybe he got drunk fell asleep and his other bitch texted you. Or maybe he did it in front of her to prove he ain't fukin with you anymore. I have seen it all before.