Interesting perspective. Seriously! Bc if this conversation (me too) was happening around race and a tweet came out suggesting that 3x as many white male managers feel uncomfortable mentoring black people it would be a problem (and rightfully so).
#MeToo movement has a major problem
- Thread starter alexw
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Interesting perspective. Seriously! Bc if this conversation (me too) was happening around race and a tweet came out suggesting that 3x as many white male managers feel uncomfortable mentoring black people it would be a problem (and rightfully so).
Yeah. Some time I like to believe that a simple compliment may have prevent a person from going off the edge. It may not be true at all, but my intention is to never harm.
People like to feel they are seen. I compliment both men and women when I notice a new hair style, but I'm a woman so it won't be viewed the same. You guys just have to be more creative, and less personal. If she looks nice, instead of complimenting her outfit, or saying "you look nice", say something like "that's a great color". If they look exceptionally nice, say something like, "wow, you got jazzed up today. Do you have an interview/appointment after work/client meeting, etc." "Wow, dressed for success. I guess you will be taking over the office soon." You can acknowledge change or extra effort, with out making comment that could be deemed sexual. It also depends on your relationship with someone. People who are actual friends or with whom you have a long history with, you can be more personal. If it's someone you feel you can't trust professionally, or who sees you as competition, then try to avoid those types of conversations.
I'm just changing it at work.
But who can you trust professionally with money on the line? lol
I mean it's never creepy and absolutely no touch as I said before.
I can see you're really "in your feelings" about me and other women being present here.
Again, I'll repeat: Who hurt you? Seriously...who hurt you?
I don't seek out your validation or any man's on this site - check my postings.
I like porn (gasp!) I mean, I'm a woman that enjoys porn...wow! Who would have thought that?!?
The problem is you confuse "talking shit about women" to actual hatred of women. I can see through your posts; other posters can too.
I mean you no harm, but you need to come to terms with whatever it is you've got going on towards women. Your feelings are showing big time...
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The bolded I completely agree with - I think it's just as hard for black women who fight against "white feminism" as it is black men fighting against "#metoo." Neither seems to suit the membership of other marginalized groups that exist within the larger framework, but are actually a way in which to further belittle the fights black men and black women have been championing far before these battles became a "thing." And, society does tell us a man and a woman can't be platonic friends and can't work in intimate settings together, especially if one party is attracted to the other, because we're always being hypersexualized, especially black men and women.
He might not be able to respond for a bit. After I responded to him I noticed he was put on vacation.
But we got to be careful...
that COULD be legitimately beheld against you
cause now hey got non verbal on physical aggression
He has a real JD Walker vibe going on there...
*mic drop
@Camille @JofromthaNO
Have you ever seen OTHER WOMEN act inappropriately in the office to other men (and/or WOMEN)?
cause its funny...
In MY personal experience
women have had more conflict with OTHER women than MEN
ESPECIALLY nosy busy body mean girl type white women.
and how have YOU dealt with being "attracted" to someone in the office?
Have you ever seen OTHER WOMEN act inappropriately in the office to other men (and/or WOMEN)?
cause its funny...
In MY personal experience
women have had more conflict with OTHER women than MEN
ESPECIALLY nosy busy body mean girl type white women.
and how have YOU dealt with being "attracted" to someone in the office?
It's true. That compliment probably makes a lot of women's days... and it's unfortunate that kind of stuff gets lost in this...
It's crazy that you can't even give a compliment but I had some long talks with women on this and it's a lot of Pepe le Pew ass niggas out here man. I don't think most men truly appreciate how much women get harassed on a daily basis.
Shit fucks me up cause I'm think, who the fuck they talkin to
Exactly which makes it easier to just NOT navigate any of this stuff at all because all of that energy we use (black men and women) to walk on eggshells so we aren't seen as angry black man or predator black man and black women as sassy black woman or angry black woman or super africa slut black women takes a toll on us daily and then you add even more pressure to the situation in how to deal with things.
Men and women can be platonic friends but even that notion relies on the guy's side. It's a societal viewpoint that paints men as incapable of being human beings because innately everything we do has to lead to sex no matter what.
Speaking for black men only, we need to be seen as human too. This is not caping for those that do wrong cause they wrong
White women are the same as white men with this newfound power they want to exert as much of it as they can.
they don't care about black women in the midst of this though at all and I just want yall to see that too so WE as black men and women can dialog and come to OUR OWN solutions
I work in an environment dominated by women, but the men who I work with typically I take on a big or lil sister approach with them, to be honest.
The women will do some down right, catty bullshit to other women but, white women don't confront other women. And, the Hispanic women I work with don't confront other women either. The black women however?!? Shiiiiiiiiittt, we all about confronting and calling out behavior.
I can't think back to a time when I've been attracted to someone on my job. It might be an interoffice joke that a new coworker, intern, etc. is "cute," but I've never seen anyone act out on it, act least not in the company of others.
Again, the men I work with, we take on a sibling role or don't find ourselves in close company working with each other steadily. Not that I'm uncomfortable or I think they are uncomfortable, but I just don't lean that way, if it makes sense. I do find white women, on my job, steadily barking up other white men's tree and in their faces. And, the white men tend to "value" their opinion and be in close quarters with them more so than other women. But, most of us are married at my job...so, nobody wants our old married asses anyway lol
Women get away with a ton of shit because men aren't human beings in society's eyes.
Especially black men.
You better be thankful she tried to throw you some pussy whether you want it or not.
that's the attitude society has towards men and men silently adopt or else be called gay cause you automatically gay if you don't want to fuck a woman who is offering it up
lol... yeah.. that's all day in this thread..lmbaoooo
When I first starting out and even later in life
I completely agree every black and Hispanic women there and HONESTLY?
and even Older white women?
LOVED me
I was there son little brother cousin...
And I CAREFULLY enjoyed all the fruits!
made sure ALL the secretaries were happy
My lunch copies files supply orders my pay stubs overtime vacation time sick time was ALWAYS well taken care of!
but I had to navigate carefully because catty jealous stuff could pop up quick.
My sisters would get damn near PHYSICAL to protect me.
And as moved up and moved on always helped out my younger black brothers and sisters and ESPECIALLY the older black folk.
And white folk ALWAYS wanted to be down..yo KNOW how that is.
They CANNOT be left out. And would deliberately go OUT of their way to start some sh*t
but NEVER face to face always some SNEAK SNUFF
and 9/10 times it was girl on girl.
I work in media and used worked in an area heavy with women at my old job, mostly white. And after being burned I have a personal policy.............
Show up, work, get paid and leave.
This is my policy. No happy hours unless it's work related and definitely no holiday parties. In media, happy hours that's business related is common but I don't stay long and don't socialize with people from my office at the function.
Working in an area of the office with women is the devil's lair especially if they're white with one or two black women with the Stacy Dash syndrome. You know it's bad when another woman is telling you it's bad for her.
I did an exit interview with HR with the door open while past employees I know did it with the door closed. Fucked up situation and I'm glad I moved on.
Show up, work, get paid and leave.
This is my policy. No happy hours unless it's work related and definitely no holiday parties. In media, happy hours that's business related is common but I don't stay long and don't socialize with people from my office at the function.
Working in an area of the office with women is the devil's lair especially if they're white with one or two black women with the Stacy Dash syndrome. You know it's bad when another woman is telling you it's bad for her.
I did an exit interview with HR with the door open while past employees I know did it with the door closed. Fucked up situation and I'm glad I moved on.
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@JofromthaNO
but I realize I could NEVER be the same
I used to buy ALL the women ALL of them flowers for mothers day and valentines day.
They wold come to my office and ask me what |I thought of their hair dress shoes etc.
hell they would go shopping at lunch and show me what thy got.
hell they would BUY my lunch
I would hug kiss on the cheek high 5 joke laugh ...
I'm talking weeding birthdays and funerals
the office is weird like that
cause you with this muthafukas for HOURS every day close quarters.
and HONESTLY?
almost NO REAL DRAMA
but I realize I could NEVER be the same
I used to buy ALL the women ALL of them flowers for mothers day and valentines day.
They wold come to my office and ask me what |I thought of their hair dress shoes etc.
hell they would go shopping at lunch and show me what thy got.
hell they would BUY my lunch
I would hug kiss on the cheek high 5 joke laugh ...
I'm talking weeding birthdays and funerals
the office is weird like that
cause you with this muthafukas for HOURS every day close quarters.
and HONESTLY?
almost NO REAL DRAMA
/thread
Bill tho, nigga don't ignore anyone so sometimes I'm thinkin he done lost his mind
@JofromthaNO
I have had women dress me and groom me in the office and mention my penis outline in my slacks.
where gloria alred at?
I have had women dress me and groom me in the office and mention my penis outline in my slacks.
where gloria alred at?
Nope, never, nah...not doing that.
I worked with one guy years ago, we went clothing shopping after work one day at H&M
I remember him trying on a pair of sweats and coming out of the fitting room...BAM: Dick print all in my face!
I never specifically mentioned the print, but just remember telling him, "Yeah, you can't buy those for work. Try another pair."
I don't know if he knew his dick print was so present (I'm sure he did lol,) but I never spoke about it and we never went "out" after work (just the two of us) ever again. I was embarrassed enough for the both of us to not put myself in that situation again.
We can agree to disagree... But as a person with 15 years in construction and two STEM degrees (Construction Science and Mech Engineering) I can tell you that -from my experience- a sizeable reason women aren't heavily represented in STEM is that...
They CHOOSE differently.
I've been to and been part of internship fairs where they literally TACKLING chicks to give them well paid summer internships if they were even KINDA interested in STEM...I currently doing a remodel at an all girl school that has FULL RIDES to colleges through programs with Exxon and Shell for young women interested in STEM.
I was just talking to a head hunter looking for new opportunities for me and he was like 'Shit if you were a woman I'd have a job for you yesterday paying 50% more than you could ask for.'
On every rung of the STEM ladder I'm seeing the same thing...
AGENCY. On the part of the WOMEN.
"I don't want to do that...I WANT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE."
You as a scientist- especially as a teacher- knows that equality of opportunity doesn't mean equality of outcome. AGENCY is a powerful independent variable.
I'll leave you with the video above.
*two cents*
This is true in the construction industry when it comes to Engineering disciplines.
Oh man...in the 90s you could not pass up pussy for any reason. Bish could be fresh out a car wreck missing 3 teeth and a leg but if she offered the pussy you had to take it or be labeled a fruit booty.
I hope things have changed.
True. Women can't go anywhere without someone trying to talk to them. And those the ugly ones.
Nowadays, it seems women can get their day's worth of compliments before they even leave the house. All they have to do is post a 'goodmorning' on their Instagram, facebook, or twitter. So different than just 10 years ago. Modern women basically have compliment on demand. Coworkers ain't compliment her looks by noon, post to instagram again saying 'bored at work!' More come in.
No. The shaming tactics still exist.
see that is what I mean
you were both ADULTS
these things happen
(sidebar: and even if you DID have sex or anything...as long as it was consensual and safe? so what? Even thought work place sex is a DEFINITE no no)
How you REALLY gonna legislate flirting?
OK flip your situation
and you came out with a top that was REVEALING
and he said
ummm you CANNOT wear THAT to work
#metoo could say he was being overtly sexual condensing sexualizing you questioning your decision making etc etc.
I'm exaggerating
but NOT by much.
I feel y'alls pain.
This is one of the reasons I worked so hard to start my business. I can't tolerate the rampant dumbassery you're surrounded by just trying to make a living.
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