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BGOL TRUE confessions

BigDaddyBuk said:
you either need to be honest with ya doc or change providers.

cause if youre lying they cant give you proper advice or treatment to suit your specific needs.

as for the rest, sacrifice is the road to glory. you might have to move back in with family members to get your product ready for the market.
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I developed a bad case of anxiety don't have a clue where it came fron since I was the least anti social person ever but now it seems I'm that guy.

I tried telling the psych doc how I felt but she was asking me other questions and I just said fuck it and didn't bring it up.
Therapist is okay but I think she might be genuinely scared as fuck of me if I told her the truth.
 
DaAssWatcher said:
I developed a bad case of anxiety don't have a clue where it came fron since I was the least anti social person ever but now it seems I'm that guy.

I tried telling the psych doc how I felt but she was asking me other questions and I just said fuck it and didn't bring it up.
Therapist is okay but I think she might be genuinely scared as fuck of me if I told her the truth.
Click to expand...

You should be as honest as possibe with your therapist - trust when I say she has probably heard much fucked up shit in her life and, over time, you become very desensitized to it...

Did you get your therapist from a referral from your primary care physician? I usually start there or, if you're not concerned about it, working through your EAP, if your HR office has one.
 
JofromthaNO said:
You should be as honest as possibe with your therapist - trust when I say she has probably heard much fucked up shit in her life and, over time, you become very desensitized to it...

Did you get your therapist from a referral from your primary care physician? I usually start there or, if you're not concerned about it, working through your EAP, if your HR office has one.
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Got it from primary care.Didn't want to go and get boxed into the whole mental health thing but she was whining for like 5 months so I gave in.

Can Psychiatrists give Medical Marijuana cards??The meds they give me are bullshit weed always had me feeling good but haven't smoked in 10 plus years and been sober from alcohol for 8 years.Being sober is for the birds bout to start self medicating.
 
DaAssWatcher said:
Got it from primary care.Didn't want to go and get boxed into the whole mental health thing but she was whining for like 5 months so I gave in.

Can Psychiatrists give Medical Marijuana cards??The meds they give me are bullshit weed always had me feeling good but haven't smoked in 10 plus years and been sober from alcohol for 8 years.Being sober is for the birds bout to start self medicating.
Click to expand...

Not sure (I'm a psychologist.) It's always worth a mention to your psychiatirist and/or primary doctor to see if they're willing to bite. You've got doctor/patient confidentiality, so I'd give it a try...especially if you have a history of it helping with depressive-like symptoms. What kind of therapy are they using? CBT? Rational-emotive? Just mentioning those to say that, if it's just a depressive episode, counseling/therapy should be relatively successful short-term (think, five to eight sessions, at best.) I'd be leery if, even after a few sessions, you didn't feel more successful. Sometimes therapy couples with psychopharmacology is the best action plan, especially if your condition is comorbid with something else, like anxiety :cool:
 
JofromthaNO said:
Not sure (I'm a psychologist.) It's always worth a mention to your psychiatirist and/or primary doctor to see if they're willing to bite. You've got doctor/patient confidentiality, so I'd give it a try...especially if you have a history of it helping with depressive-like symptoms. What kind of therapy are they using? CBT? Rational-emotive? Just mentioning those to say that, if it's just a depressive episode, counseling/therapy should be relatively successful short-term (think, five to eight sessions, at best.) I'd be leery if, even after a few sessions, you didn't feel more successful. Sometimes therapy couples with psychopharmacology is the best action plan, especially if your condition is comorbid with something else, like anxiety :cool:
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I don't know they're just giving me a shit load of meds that do nothing. Also being treated for depression. They gonna try and get me into a ketomine study but waiting for FDAapproval.I done had way more than a fewsessions.Been seeing them since Oct last year.
 
DaAssWatcher said:
I don't know they're just giving me a shit load of meds that do nothing. Also being treated for depression. They gonna try and get me into a ketomine study but waiting for FDAapproval.I done had way more than a fewsessions.Been seeing them since Oct last year.
Click to expand...

anxiety is a family trait on my mom's side. my grandmother and aunt are medicated for it. my unlce and cousin smoke TONS of weed to deal with theirs. i handle mines with behavioral modification.

some folks can do it with out meds, some just can't.

different strokes for different folks, but in my opinion weed does not make it better, it makes it FAR WORSE.

tell ya providers how you really feel mayne, unless you think they on that white supremacy bs. if thats the case find you someone you feel you can trust.
 
BigDaddyBuk said:
anxiety is a family trait on my mom's side. my grandmother and aunt are medicated for it. my unlce and cousin smoke TONS of weed to deal with theirs. i handle mines with behavioral modification.

some folks can do it with out meds, some just can't.

different strokes for different folks, but in my opinion weed does not make it better, it makes it FAR WORSE.

tell ya providers how you really feel mayne, unless you think they on that white supremacy bs. if thats the case find you someone you feel you can trust.
Click to expand...

Wait weed helps with anxiety. I just developed it a few years ago, and I've gone to the health food store for something and it seems to be work.

I've never been a smoker, but when this anxiety hits, it's scary...so I'm looking for anything to help and I can understand DaAssWatcher is saying because they want to throw certain medications at you too quick and I don't want to go that route.
 
I hope you find a good therapist/person/help to get you where you want to be. I've had a bad experience with them myself but people keep saying I just had a bad deal. I hear more success stories from others than bad, so just try again.

We can try together :)
 
Dhustla said:
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm broken, as well as exactly how broken I am.

Mother issues, father(less) issues, abandonment issues, being the product of emotional, psychological, & physical abuse, chronic depression, anti-social , all make me wonder if there is a life worth living ahead of me.

Self medicating prolly ain't healthy, but it's comforting when nothing else is.


Maybe I can afford $50/hr to talk to somebody.

:(

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

Aww D I was hoping you were getting better. Spend the $50 it's worth it. I did...well my EAP paid for it, but if you get the right therapist, it's makes a world of difference.

I'm just an inbox away. Hope things get better soon.
 
man, I just found out that I got type 2 diabetes. thats fucked up. crazy thing is, I thought that I'd just had some bad pussy. I went to the doctor like "I'm not feeling good." I swear all I can think about was the Ice Cube song right after Nappy Dugout on the Death Certificate CD. I was like, "damn, I got got. And the pussy wasn't even good"

Doc ran the works, blood test, gave me the shot for precaution. couple days later and go back to talk about the blood work, and the doctor said, "Good news and bad news. The good news is you don't have an STD, never did. You're clean and clear."

I was happy because I had been stupid to fuck with that broad anyway, I should have known better than to accept bareback head (bitches are scandalous), even if I fucked her with a rubber. you get caught with a lazy broad with bad pussy and she gives you something you just feel fucked up, not that you feel any better getting burned (or worse) by a dime.

so I said, "what's the bad news," and the doctor tells me that my blood sugar was 366! what I didn't know with that normal is between 100 and 110. she said "that's why you been feeling so fucked up. your body is out of whack and trying to figure itself out and it can't. your pH balance is off, and unless you want to end up like Nicole Brown Simpson, leave that OJ alone." (I told her I almost smashed a half gallon of OJ)

I went back in today a couple weeks later and my sugar is now 144 along with the medication she's given me and cutting out the fruit smoothies and unnecessary sugars. so, I don't have THAT BOY, but I do have diabetes. thanks dad. luckily, she said that if I lose 30 to 50 pounds I may get rid of the diabetes altogether. There is a chance. that stupid ass WebMD had a brother scared than a motherfucker. That shit make a mother fucking think his life is over
 
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I think my mama is slipping into early Alzheimer's or dementia and she's only 58. I been watching her closely...I thought her eyes were just bad from her Lasik surgery but when she was pumping gas and tried to put her debit card in the slot where the receipt comes out at...I knew what time it was. Damn, I'm her only kid, so I gotta keep her close after she retires in a three more years. We went through this shit 25 years ago with her own mama...

My Pops had a diabetic stroke went into a coma and almost died last year and he's about 80% mentally recovered and 60% physically recovered but he has my youngest brother who is 22 to help him and his wife with his care. He stubborn as fuck and won't do Physical Therapy to gain mobility so he sits in bed just wasting the fuck away. I'm the oldest and most responsible of his five kids, so it all falls on me. I lowkey think my stepmom wants his ass to die and ain't making him exercise his body or eat right..so she can cash out. ICB this shit...

I ain't never confessed shit in here so far as I can recall...but I needed to get this off my chest.
 
BigDaddyBuk said:
anxiety is a family trait on my mom's side. my grandmother and aunt are medicated for it. my unlce and cousin smoke TONS of weed to deal with theirs. i handle mines with behavioral modification.

some folks can do it with out meds, some just can't.

different strokes for different folks, but in my opinion weed does not make it better, it makes it FAR WORSE.

tell ya providers how you really feel mayne, unless you think they on that white supremacy bs. if thats the case find you someone you feel you can trust.
Click to expand...
I've been doing sone progressive muscle relaxation techniques and gonna dive into mindful meditation and some yoga.I had a heart condition that was resolved 2 years ago through surgery so thats why I stopped smoking in 2000 because the smoke made it worse.

I Drank through it but it got to the point of my body somehow lowering my tolerance causing me to blackout after only 6 beers.Plus was causing terrible issues the next morning making me feel like my heart was about to stop working and my head felt all fuzzy.I stopped in 2007 and been sober since but soberness hasn't made me feel any better.

Weed made me calm and chill in any environment. I want to see how it would make me feel now.If it makes it worse I'll fall back from it.

I'll try being more open to my therapist and see what comes from it.

Cocobeauty said:
Wait weed helps with anxiety. I just developed it a few years ago, and I've gone to the health food store for something and it seems to be work.

I've never been a smoker, but when this anxiety hits, it's scary...so I'm looking for anything to help and I can understand DaAssWatcher is saying because they want to throw certain medications at you too quick and I don't want to go that route.
Click to expand...
Psych doc is basically running out of meds because my brain isn't reacting to any of them at all.Gonna try weed and see what it does along with meditation and yoga.Ketamine is a study my psych doc is trying to get me in.http://m.fastcompany.com/3041770/co...ugs-revolutionize-the-treatment-of-depression
Gonna see if this helps if I get in plus they give you a couple grand.
Melonpecan said:
I hope you find a good therapist/person/help to get you where you want to be. I've had a bad experience with them myself but people keep saying I just had a bad deal. I hear more success stories from others than bad, so just try again.

We can try together :)
Click to expand...

Yeah I might try another one after I open up more and it doesn't help.I didn't pick this one but shes okay even though I would prefer a Black one.

Yeah we can try together :)
 
godofwine said:
man, I just found out that I got type 2 diabetes. thats fucked up. crazy thing is, I thought that I'd just had some bad pussy. I went to the doctor like "I'm not feeling good." I swear all I can think about was the Ice Cube song right after Nappy Dugout on the Death Certificate CD. I was like, "damn, I got got. And the pussy wasn't even good"

Doc ran the works, blood test, gave me the shot for precaution. couple days later and go back to talk about the blood work, and the doctor said, "Good news and bad news. The good news is you don't have an STD, never did. You're clean and clear."

I was happy because I had been stupid to fuck with that broad anyway, I should have known better than to accept bareback head (bitches are scandalous), even if I fucked her with a rubber. you get caught with a lazy broad with bad pussy and she gives you something you just feel fucked up, not that you feel any better getting burned (or worse) by a dime.

so I said, "what's the bad news," and the doctor tells me that my blood sugar was 366! what I didn't know with that normal is between 100 and 110. she said "that's why you been feeling so fucked up. your body is out of whack and trying to figure itself out and it can't. your pH balance is off, and unless you want to end up like Nicole Brown Simpson, leave that OJ alone." (I told her I almost smashed a half gallon of OJ)

I went back in today a couple weeks later and my sugar is now 144 along with the medication she's given me and cutting out the fruit smoothies and unnecessary sugars. so, I don't have THAT BOY, but I do have diabetes. thanks dad. luckily, she said that if I lose 30 to 50 pounds I may get rid of the diabetes altogether. There is a chance. that stupid ass WebMD had a brother scared than a motherfucker. That shit make a mother fucking think his life is over
Click to expand...
You gotta hit that gym and dedicate yourself to living healthy. Once you get comfortable in living that way it becomes natural for you to live a healthy lifestyle.
Type 2 diabetes is reversible from what I've read.
 
Lucky7s said:
I think my mama is slipping into early Alzheimer's or dementia and she's only 58. I been watching her closely...I thought her eyes were just bad from her Lasik surgery but when she was pumping gas and tried to put her debit card in the slot where the receipt comes out at...I knew what time it was. Damn, I'm her only kid, so I gotta keep her close after she retires in a three more years. We went through this shit 25 years ago with her own mama...

My Pops had a diabetic stroke went into a coma and almost died last year and he's about 80% mentally recovered and 60% physically recovered but he has my youngest brother who is 22 to help him and his wife with his care. He stubborn as fuck and won't do Physical Therapy to gain mobility so he sits in bed just wasting the fuck away. I'm the oldest and most responsible of his five kids, so it all falls on me. I lowkey think my stepmom wants his ass to die and ain't making him exercise his body or eat right..so she can cash out. ICB this shit...

I ain't never confessed shit in here so far as I can recall...but I needed to get this off my chest.
Click to expand...
Damn your moms is young to be having the symptoms.I can't imagine what I'd do if one of my parents came down with it.
I volunteered in a homeless shelter and see a lot of seniors abandoned by their kids to fend for themselves so thats one big reason thats got me trying to find a way to make some serious cash so they don't end up in a nursing home or worse.That shit is stressful.
 
DaAssWatcher said:
You gotta hit that gym and dedicate yourself to living healthy. Once you get comfortable in living that way it becomes natural for you to live a healthy lifestyle.
Type 2 diabetes is reversible from what I've read.
Click to expand...

you will always be predisposed to insulin imbalances once you've been diagnosed, but exercise will definitely control it to the point where its like you never had it.

problem is as soon as you stop exercising or monitoring your diet...shit happens.
 
DaAssWatcher said:
Yeah I might try another one after I open up more and it doesn't help.I didn't pick this one but shes okay even though I would prefer a Black one.

Yeah we can try together :)
Click to expand...

:yes: Keep chuggin'.

cocobeauty said:
Wait weed helps with anxiety. I just developed it a few years ago, and I've gone to the health food store for something and it seems to be work.

I've never been a smoker, but when this anxiety hits, it's scary...so I'm looking for anything to help and I can understand DaAssWatcher is saying because they want to throw certain medications at you too quick and I don't want to go that route.
Click to expand...

What have you been getting from the store? I was 'diagnosed' with the anxiety thing too...I've been off the meds for a few years now and I've been trying to mentally talk myself out of irrational behavior since. But every once in a while I feel like I need a little extra. Other than becoming a hermit. I can get groceries delivered...I can be a hermit.
 
cocobeauty said:
Wait weed helps with anxiety. I just developed it a few years ago, and I've gone to the health food store for something and it seems to be work.

I've never been a smoker, but when this anxiety hits, it's scary...so I'm looking for anything to help and I can understand DaAssWatcher is saying because they want to throw certain medications at you too quick and I don't want to go that route.
Click to expand...

Meditation, Beet juice, and Ginger.

Detox your body and clear your mind/spirit. Let go of things that stress you.
 
DaAssWatcher said:
I've been doing sone progressive muscle relaxation techniques and gonna dive into mindful meditation and some yoga.I had a heart condition that was resolved 2 years ago through surgery so thats why I stopped smoking in 2000 because the smoke made it worse.

I Drank through it but it got to the point of my body somehow lowering my tolerance causing me to blackout after only 6 beers.Plus was causing terrible issues the next morning making me feel like my heart was about to stop working and my head felt all fuzzy.I stopped in 2007 and been sober since but soberness hasn't made me feel any better.

Weed made me calm and chill in any environment. I want to see how it would make me feel now.If it makes it worse I'll fall back from it.

I'll try being more open to my therapist and see what comes from it.

Psych doc is basically running out of meds because my brain isn't reacting to any of them at all.Gonna try weed and see what it does along with meditation and yoga.Ketamine is a study my psych doc is trying to get me in.http://m.fastcompany.com/3041770/co...ugs-revolutionize-the-treatment-of-depression
Gonna see if this helps if I get in plus they give you a couple grand.


Yeah I might try another one after I open up more and it doesn't help.I didn't pick this one but shes okay even though I would prefer a Black one.

Yeah we can try together :)
Click to expand...
Yeah I had to find a black one too and it was good for me.
melonpecan said:
:yes: Keep chuggin'.



What have you been getting from the store? I was 'diagnosed' with the anxiety thing too...I've been off the meds for a few years now and I've been trying to mentally talk myself out of irrational behavior since. But every once in a while I feel like I need a little extra. Other than becoming a hermit. I can get groceries delivered...I can be a hermit.
Click to expand...
As I was researching Aniexty I found That L-Theanine and Gaba was two ingredients to help so I found a natural remedy called Suntheanine for the day and for night I used another which is Reds At Ease and so far I seemed to feel better. But I will say they still pop up on me from time to time and it scares me.

I've become a hermit as well and even my kids ask me why am home all the time now.
Slim Dundee said:
Meditation, Beet juice, and Ginger.

Detox your body and clear your mind/spirit. Let go of things that stress you.
Click to expand...
I'm trying to let go of some it.
 
Lucky7s said:
I think my mama is slipping into early Alzheimer's or dementia and she's only 58. I been watching her closely...I thought her eyes were just bad from her Lasik surgery but when she was pumping gas and tried to put her debit card in the slot where the receipt comes out at...I knew what time it was. Damn, I'm her only kid, so I gotta keep her close after she retires in a three more years. We went through this shit 25 years ago with her own mama...

My Pops had a diabetic stroke went into a coma and almost died last year and he's about 80% mentally recovered and 60% physically recovered but he has my youngest brother who is 22 to help him and his wife with his care. He stubborn as fuck and won't do Physical Therapy to gain mobility so he sits in bed just wasting the fuck away. I'm the oldest and most responsible of his five kids, so it all falls on me. I lowkey think my stepmom wants his ass to die and ain't making him exercise his body or eat right..so she can cash out. ICB this shit...

I ain't never confessed shit in here so far as I can recall...but I needed to get this off my chest.
Click to expand...

man, don't even fret about that. that's what this board is here for. We might not know each other personally but we know each other personally, you dig? the real fellas the old timers will understand, and those who don't fuck them. I know you have to get some shit off your chest sometimes

being the oldest in the most responsible sucks sometimes, actually no, a lot of the time. it's even worse when the person you are caring about isn't as concerned about their own health as you are. How can you help someone that won't help themselves? The problem is likely a person who has never been dependent on anybody feels reliant and is rebelling... And to their detriment. what can you do?

as far as your moms, I feel bad. my grandma had dementia really bad and she live to be able 101. in her moments of lucidity she used to ask," why am I still here? What did I do wrong." that makes you feel bad because she outlived all of her sisters, her cousins damn there her entire generation. I pray and that something else is wrong with your mother (a sugar imbalance or something) and not Alzheimers or dementia. I would wish that shit on anybody
 
DaAssWatcher said:
I get nothing out my therapist.
I lie to my psych doc when she asks me if I have thoughts of hurting other ppl.Niiiigga! I have extremely violent thoughts about catching someone stealing or bumping into me and severely beating them.

I am in a very dark place right now.Not crazy (bipolar or schizophrenic) but I'm not sure of the future.I like music and film but feel I'm to old to grind out a career thats not on some facebook/twitter nigga trying to sell everyone beats or film cat with the Detox of documentaries that will never see the light of day.

I want a career I love but at the same time I fear not having the security of a paycheck.But ppl with security don't have the luxuries of life.I'm under this pressure from myself to make millions so I can live the life I want.Thats where learning to code comes into play.I see that shit as my ace in the hole if I can come up with a great app.I'm either gonna go back and finish my bachelors in cyber security or go to nursing school.Learning to code and working in either tech or healthcare could give me some good ideas on apps.
I'm glad I'm not suicidal because I would have off'd myself.
Click to expand...

I hope no future rampage gets traced back to this post, ok some Elliot Rogers flex...


But seriously bro, I hope opening up on here has given you more clarity.
 
Sounds like a lot of peoples chakras are beginning to open up, that may be why all of yall feeling that way. When they begin to open, they begin to release old beliefs and thought forms.
 
No jokes....all of this is real!!!

Whenever i have sex i always make sure to fuck the arches of a girls feet (foot fetish).....

My erections became SUPER powerful and my sex life drastically improved after i stop beating my dick 2-3 times per day........

I dont like many NonBlack people and i'll NEVER get into an interracial relationship. But i still like fucking the shit out of girls outside of my race.......

Yesterday I fucked a drunk White Broad that I met at Lollapalooza; Doggy behind an equipment tent at grant Park. She looked like a Meth addict in the face, but she had a cold body. Body > Face.....

I panicked a few days ago because I thought i saw 7 gray pubic hairs on my balls. I turn 30 in October...so i the gray hairs kinda shocked me. After i took a shower i realized that the gray hairs were actually Black hairs that were covered w/ Pinaud Clubman Talc powder......



I grew out my facial hair because I got tired of fast ass young girls staring at me.....

Sometimes when i ride public transportation i act like im asleep so the person next to me wont start a conversation.....

Im intrigued by beheading/death videos......
(and not because im suicidal or want to kill, but mainly because im interested in the process of death. What emotions are felt besides fear? Whats happening to their bodies? Do they feel some sort of "release" of energy?)
 
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jwilliam85 said:
Sounds like a lot of peoples chakras are beginning to open up, that may be why all of yall feeling that way. When they begin to open, they begin to release old beliefs and thought forms.
Click to expand...
You been talking to DeSiRe?

I'll KIH ya! :hmm;

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
 
ima have to put Chitownheadbussa on ignore for the first paragraph of that shit he posted.

:smh:

maybe BurgerPimp too.

sheesh.
 
My girl always tells me to pullout because she's to old to have another child. Sometimes it's so good I usually bust a little in it before taking it out. :D
 
^^^just buy a bunch of morning after pills.

on another note...

new bitches pros: fun, love to experiment, enthusiastic, full of vigor and optimism.

cons: need to be taught how to act, flaky as FUCK, unstable, dont have boundaries, don't have anything to lose, dont know the value of discretion.

old bitches: pros: you have history thats holds you together, you already have a sense of what your working relationship is, you have a point of reference that makes a lot communication automatically understood

cons: old woman grouchiness, biological clock is clicking LOUD AS FUCK, irrational behavior based on fear of growing old and alone, realization that they arent a kid anymore and want to settle down, or not waste time doing things that wont lead to settling down

see, this is why i got married, but now i have to hire and WORK with women. its almost the same as dating them. :hmm:
 
followup to this post...

They moved to Atlanta and are one of the happiest married couples I know.
He put her through nursing school and she seems to be loving the new profession and family life. They have a daughter.
 

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