To clarify I meant when Ned took Theon to Winterfell he was a political prisoner. The Iron Born rebelled against Robert; then Ned & Stannis squashed the rebellion killed all of the Greyjoy heirs except Theon. He proved not to be Iron Born in leaving Bran and Rickon alive...that is not their way? rape, kill & pillage. How was holding a keep inland away from their power going to appease his father? They already called him a bitch due to his clothes now he wants to be called a "Prince" he was begging for acceptance from the Starks not Greyjoys.
I partially agree the Winterfell move was desperate and unfocused. Theon has
stockholm syndrome and his actions convey it. To impress his real father burning Winterfell and killing the Stark kids would have been more than enough...instead he wants them to RESPECT and eventually LOVE him (which will never happen) Theon wants to be a Stark so bad he is acting like he's lord of Winterfelll, that won't help the iron born in any matter because they are SEA PIRATES (they can't hold a region as large as the north on numbers alone) He choose wrong when he burned that letter to Robb Stark, even his sister who cares for him was like "Get the fuck out of here" she knows the Bolton's alone can run through the iron born on land.
Balon Greyjoy was correct...Theon is more Stark than Greyjoy. That's why he was given an expendable ship and crew. You have to live as an iron born to be one....all that pretending isn't effective.