My pops has passed on, but when he was alive, I talked to him on the regular. I grew up watching football on Saturday mornings on the couch with him. Also remember him taking me to air shows damn near every weekend. I talked to my mom maybe 2 or 3 times a month. Recently, she's been a bit on the unhealthy side. So now I talk to her about 3 times a week. It may sound crazy to some, but when you realize that your parents are nearing those last few years, its easy to put the bullshit aside and enjoy each other's company.
How many don't communicate with their parents?
- Thread starter cocobeauty
- Start date
A lot of you are judging other people's relationship with their parents based on your own. Parents are people first, you got good people and shitty people.
I gave up on my mom in 07 and my pops dec 12. The story is too long and crazy. But basically everyone treated me like I was gonna grow up and be less then not shit. Not trying to brag, but they were way off.
I gave up on my mom in 07 and my pops dec 12. The story is too long and crazy. But basically everyone treated me like I was gonna grow up and be less then not shit. Not trying to brag, but they were way off.
When I see them I enjoy it for about 5 minutes. I don't really have anything to say to them. Thy are my parents and I honor them. Things they have taught me have saved my life. I took a lot of things to heart when growing up. Especially about not depending on anyone for anything and I don't. I really do not see the need to interact with them. I just do it because its the right thing to do.
You know, "the people who RAISED me" is even the wrong term but I use it for lack of a better one except the skunts who raise me. Raising would imply at minimum some type of teaching the child SOMETHING or showing them how to do SOMETHING. This bitch would give me all type of jobs she never show me how to do as young as the age of 5 and 6. Things like go iron these shirts(mans work shirts) or make us coffee(no machine) or go plant these plants or make breakfast for lil sis. Then when I didnt do it right she would curse me out, call me a fucking idiot and beat the crap out of me. That is not "raising". I dont know what it is but definitely not raising. I can not think of not even one tiny little thing these people taught me except how NOT to be.
why am i not surprised to see the amount of answers that speak to bad relationships with parents in general and mothers specifically.
I was raised by my mother, but Dad was always there. (They divorced when I was like 3 or 4) But can't say I've ever been really close to either one. My parents were kind of the "meet your basic needs" type of parents or "good enough" parents. So as a result, I can go several months without talking to either parent. No particular reason. Its just always been that way.
Honestly this thread is disturbing to me, because I know blacks and whites that don't communicate with their parents and I see it on TV all the the time but I'm familiar with these screen names and I feel kind of sad now.
whats fucked up is I am 47 years old
married, 22 year old Daughter, house w/land
and not haveing a tight
relationship with my mother still bothers me.
the stuff I had to deal with dealing with my mother and a alcoholic stepfather.
but if it dosent kill you
it can only make you stronger
and in my situation
it did.
...
I don't understand this post?
When the father dies or uncle dies?
Why would there be misunderstandings about a deceased man's money & property?
And what does that have to do with Nawlins not talking to him?
apparently, you've never been around when a deceased person's will is being read... with belongings, cash, property, etc. to be settled.
i have witnessed it twice:
the 1st time, there were 5 EXTRA siblings from 3 other women that no one knew about, and they, "WANTED THEIR CUT!!!" mofos started screaming, "you ain't even family... the fuck is you?" and started cussing and flexing.
the 2nd time, it was my own family, and dem niccas straight tore-up dat lawyer's office. his sisters & brothers (who were all drunk in the middle of the day) didn't know about his EARLY-IN-LIFE marriage and children.
they thought all his belongings were going to them when it was all going to his kids. mofos got mad... chairs started flying... hands were thrown... white lawyers were screaming, "security!!!"
it looked like hurricane sandy hit dat office when it was all over.
my family can be foul as hell.
I'm in this same boat. My mom calls me almost daily I might talk to my pops once every 2 months.
kogalee
Banned
My goddam momma said that she didn't believe that all white people were devils. When she said that she didn't bleev that Master Fard Muhammad was Jesus Christ Almighty God Allah himself , I cut her off !!!
When she called The Honorable Elijah Muhammad a liar and child mollester I threatened to cut out her tung and throw her into the river. Then I cut all ties with her until she can admit that Master Fard Muhammad is God and that the Honorable Elijah is his messenger. Until she accepts the troof that all white people are devils she can kiss my ass!!!
When she called The Honorable Elijah Muhammad a liar and child mollester I threatened to cut out her tung and throw her into the river. Then I cut all ties with her until she can admit that Master Fard Muhammad is God and that the Honorable Elijah is his messenger. Until she accepts the troof that all white people are devils she can kiss my ass!!!
My goddam momma said that she didn't believe that all white people were devils. When she said that she didn't bleev that Master Fard Muhammad was Jesus Christ Almighty God Allah himself , I cut her off !!!
When she called The Honorable Elijah Muhammad a liar and child mollester I threatened to cut out her tung and throw her into the river. Then I cut all ties with her until she can admit that Master Fard Muhammad is God and that the Honorable Elijah is his messenger. Until she accepts the troof that all white people are devils she can kiss my ass!!!
Man cut it out...
On a regular basis. My parents are ailing no telling how much time they have left. I feel kinda bad I haven't gotten married or had kids yet. My younger cousins lost their mom (my aunt) and seeing them go through that made me that much more appreciative of my parents. And my aunty wasn't the best aunt to my cousins, he even told me he couldn't recall ever hearig his mother tell him she loved him and even pulled a gun on him and threatend to smoke him. Through that all he still found the heart to love his mom.
My mom and pop did their best to instill the virtues they believed I should have in this world and I think they've done a great job considering the cirumstances of their relationship and raising us. They might not have made all the right moves in raising us but I can forgive them, besides I'm an adult now I have sound mind and judgement so I believe it's up to me now to obtain whatever I missed out on or didn't get from them. Now I just let a lot of bullshit slide off my shoulders when it comes to my parents attitudes while still showing my love and support in the face of their bullshit. I've learned how to deal with my parents because they really ain't gonna change. Coming to that realization is a lot easier for me and I think it's helped our relationship.
My mom and pop did their best to instill the virtues they believed I should have in this world and I think they've done a great job considering the cirumstances of their relationship and raising us. They might not have made all the right moves in raising us but I can forgive them, besides I'm an adult now I have sound mind and judgement so I believe it's up to me now to obtain whatever I missed out on or didn't get from them. Now I just let a lot of bullshit slide off my shoulders when it comes to my parents attitudes while still showing my love and support in the face of their bullshit. I've learned how to deal with my parents because they really ain't gonna change. Coming to that realization is a lot easier for me and I think it's helped our relationship.
To the cats that talk to their parents daily, how many siblings do you have? Most of the guys I've known that are Mama's boys or who talk to their parents daily in their adult lives have been only children and in most cases, raised without their father around.
i talk to my mother at least 4 times a week, for spiritual counseling, for life related advice and just a friendly call to check on her. Every time I go home to visit, I take my mother out just to engage in conversation with her.
i don't talk to my "father" never liked then guy. when i was a kid my mother used to force me to call him etc..., but once i turned old enough to be like fuck that,i cut that shit out (about 14 or so)im now 31
my mom passed like 2 years ago,somehow he got word and called her cell phone(if i knew it was him i wouldn't had answered)
this prick had the nerve to ask me why i didn't invite him to the funeral? then starts to tell me about how his mother died earlier in the year. im like oh,sorry to hear that....
next time he called back didn't answer!
my mom was THE BEST mom one could ever ask for!
my mom passed like 2 years ago,somehow he got word and called her cell phone(if i knew it was him i wouldn't had answered)
this prick had the nerve to ask me why i didn't invite him to the funeral? then starts to tell me about how his mother died earlier in the year. im like oh,sorry to hear that....
next time he called back didn't answer!
my mom was THE BEST mom one could ever ask for!
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Well although I'm a female. It's four of us, and there's only one boy and I will admit he doesn't call daily but he does call at least once a week and he talks to my dad more than that from what the cellphone says. Yeah I be looking. Lol but my mom is ok with that too.
I would imagine most men would talk to their father more(If he was in their life) than they would their mother and women would talk to their mother more. My parents have 4 children too. I'm #3 of 4. My wife(30) talks to her mom everyday, but I talk to mine about once every month to two months(we text about once a month also). I talk to my dad about every week to 2 weeks. They've been divorced since I was 14.
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My mom calls me dam neaer every day.....she just got a cell phone so now she checks on me with texts.....my dad and I speak 2 a week. We started Fam vacationing again about 3 years
My mother passed when I was 25 and my father died the exact same month 10 years later....
Parent child relationships "change" when you enter adulthood....And more so after you establish yourself as independent adult without their care or even there concern.
The rules change. You can walk away from any relationship.... but with your parents.... you have memories... both good and bad...
The point I'm trying to make is....Your mother already knows this because she went through it herself. Did she have a close relationship with her parents or more specifically her mother after she became an adult... probably not
Ya see... she was probably separated herself early too and enacted that same type of relationship with you.
That doesn't mean she doesn't love you or does not care for you... it only means she cut herself off from you in the same manner she experienced with her own parents... why does she do that... its because in her mind, thats what she is supposed to do.
So, what "I" would do is this, love her from a distance... if there are 365 days in a year, plan to give her your full attention for only "1" (24 hours in whatever shape fashion or form it takes) of those days.... that leaves you with 364 for whatever else is you want to do...
If she only calls when she needs money... then always be quick to talk about other things.... like what you are working on right now or small talk like the weather.
For older adults, its more about memories and attention, not money. They might ask for it, but you can always bring up the subject of whats your inheritance gonna be....
The point I'm making is, its not what she wants... but what you want... and most likely, she already understands it.... whether you actually say to each other ... or not.
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apparently, you've never been around when a deceased person's will is being read... with belongings, cash, property, etc. to be settled.
i have witnessed it twice:
the 1st time, there were 5 EXTRA siblings from 3 other women that no one knew about, and they, "WANTED THEIR CUT!!!" mofos started screaming, "you ain't even family... the fuck is you?" and started cussing and flexing.
the 2nd time, it was my own family, and dem niccas straight tore-up dat lawyer's office. his sisters & brothers (who were all drunk in the middle of the day) didn't know about his EARLY-IN-LIFE marriage and children.
they thought all his belongings were going to them when it was all going to his kids. mofos got mad... chairs started flying... hands were thrown... white lawyers were screaming, "security!!!"
it looked like hurricane sandy hit dat office when it was all over.
my family can be foul as hell.
Bruh, I needed that laugh! I been around when plenty people died, but my folks slum as hell so wasn't no will, just hurt feelings and more disappointment.
To be honest, I wasn't self aware enough to even notice the shit. I been to prolly 20 funerals, most before I was 21. And I was just oblivious, I wasn't/am not close to none of em.
I'm the 3rd of four children. Talk to my folks at least once a week and they are both in different states. My mom and pops are separated. But my pops made sure to stick around in our lives. I had to grow up to understand his leaving wasn't just his fault that we didn't have the traditional family anymore.
apparently, you've never been around when a deceased person's will is being read... with belongings, cash, property, etc. to be settled.
i have witnessed it twice:
the 1st time, there were 5 EXTRA siblings from 3 other women that no one knew about, and they, "WANTED THEIR CUT!!!" mofos started screaming, "you ain't even family... the fuck is you?" and started cussing and flexing.
the 2nd time, it was my own family, and dem niccas straight tore-up dat lawyer's office. his sisters & brothers (who were all drunk in the middle of the day) didn't know about his EARLY-IN-LIFE marriage and children.
they thought all his belongings were going to them when it was all going to his kids. mofos got mad... chairs started flying... hands were thrown... white lawyers were screaming, "security!!!"
it looked like hurricane sandy hit dat office when it was all over.
my family can be foul as hell.
I've heard this happening and have seen fights break out at funerals. All you can do is
and
I don't think she cheated just ornery and mean maybe
apparently, you've never been around when a deceased person's will is being read... with belongings, cash, property, etc. to be settled.
i have witnessed it twice:
the 1st time, there were 5 EXTRA siblings from 3 other women that no one knew about, and they, "WANTED THEIR CUT!!!" mofos started screaming, "you ain't even family... the fuck is you?" and started cussing and flexing.
the 2nd time, it was my own family, and dem niccas straight tore-up dat lawyer's office. his sisters & brothers (who were all drunk in the middle of the day) didn't know about his EARLY-IN-LIFE marriage and children.
they thought all his belongings were going to them when it was all going to his kids. mofos got mad... chairs started flying... hands were thrown... white lawyers were screaming, "security!!!"
it looked like hurricane sandy hit dat office when it was all over.
my family can be foul as hell.
I done seen it w/my own two eyes how niggarish folks can act about belongings after someone passes away. Arguin' all at da get together before or after funerals/wakes & shit. Shit be embarrassing as hell, yo. Body haven't even settled in da ground good yet. Disgusting behavior.
My pops is dead. I don't talk to my moms much, maybe once every three months just to say Hi. My mom don't interact or seem to care for my kids, her grand kids, so, I don't care for her much.
I've heard this happening and have seen fights break out at funerals. All you can do is
I done seen it w/my own two eyes how niggarish folks can act about belongings after someone passes away. Arguin' all at da get together before or after funerals/wakes & shit. Shit be embarrassing as hell, yo. Body haven't even settled in da ground good yet. Disgusting behavior.
For some reason, I can't see myself wanting nothing from somebody I ain't close to or didn't like
If my mother passed I wouldn't want no money, not her house, nothing.
Nothing can/could compensate for not having a (good)mother.
But if my father, whom I've never met or seen but chatted with on AIM, passed and left me something I would take it.
I'm not even sure of this man's last name and the only pic I have of him is a polaroid that I can't see his face.
For some reason, I can't see myself wanting nothing from somebody I ain't close to or didn't like
If my mother passed I wouldn't want no money, not her house, nothing.
Nothing can/could compensate for not having a (good)mother.
But if my father, whom I've never met or seen but chatted with on AIM, passed and left me something I would take it.
I'm not even sure of this man's last name and the only pic I have of him is a polaroid that I can't see his face.
Don't worry someone will be there to get what you don't want to claim trust me. However if you're the only child she has, and it's property etc, take it and sell or whatever you want, but don't give it away. Look at it as her finally do something right by you.
But don't allow the state or strangers to take what's rightfully yours. Before you reply, think on what I'm saying.
I done seen it w/my own two eyes how niggarish folks can act about belongings after someone passes away. Arguin' all at da get together before or after funerals/wakes & shit. Shit be embarrassing as hell, yo. Body haven't even settled in da ground good yet. Disgusting behavior.
Yeah when it's some embarrassing shit, and it seems to last for years at every family function thereafter
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