What has been your awkward sexual experiences?

[4North1Side2]

I was at the bar a couple days ago and bagged my first latina. She's 48, Puerto Rican, 5'3", face nothing to talk about, 36DD tits, lil bubble booty. For a 48 year old her body crushes alot of chicks half her age.

Long story short, she told me she had a 17 year old adopted Son. So when I smashed, even tho it was 5AM in the morning and I didn't know where his room was in the house, I felt bad cuz I knew he had to hear that bedframe banging against the wall and his mom going "aye papi" whatever else she was saying in Spanish.

Well I'm cupcaked with Moms in the bed in the morning and her son just casually walks in the bedroom and holds a conversation with the mom like it's totally normal for him to see his mom with a random dude butt nakid in the bed. I close my eyes playing sleep but his Mom says "this is my son _______ say hi 4north1side2"

I say wasup but that was totally awkward because this kid is damn near a grown man himself. In my head I'm feeling so sorry for this kid and thinking should I say some dumb shit like "yo you play xbox?" but I decide to keep my mouth fuckin shut instead of trying play the friend role.

Well shit gets even more fucking awkward because this dude comes in and out of the room like 5 more fucking times, even one time serving his mom breakfast in bed. This 17 year old friend come over and now they are both in the fucking room now and mom's is screaming at them to get a fuckin job asking me to hook them up so now I'm talking to them about jobs... Oh did I mention there was also a chihuahua in the fucking bed the whole damn time kept trying to lick my face. That lil fucker tried to lick my ass when I was hitting mom's from the back.



I woulda had homegrown but my drunk ass lost my phone in the bar. Chick was experienced as she should of been at her age. She loves to please, sucked on my balls for a good straight 5 minutes while smacking my dick in her face. Told me "put the milk on my titties" She actually took the nut to the face and licked up what she could. Even tho I made her orgasm a few times I could not get her to tap out and I was really trying to kill that tight ass pussy.

At one point she said "go ahead papi, take a break" It was very sexy when I made her cum, she be talking in english and than start speaking in spanish when she hit her peaks. Dead serious she fell in love with me after one day... Telling her fam about me on the phone, saving me a toothbrush for the "next time" I come over, talking about cooking me dinner, and want to see my kids... I feel awful because she is soooooo sweet but I'm getting the hell out of dodge.

 

[World B Free]

awwwww quaint story, welcome to their family. you sound right at home.....

 

[ShortyCumStain]

In my head I'm feeling so sorry for this kid and thinking should I say some dumb shit like "yo you play xbox?" but I decide to keep my mouth fuckin shut

 

[yureeka9]

When I was in my early 20s I borrowed my mother's car to make a booty run to fuck some bitch. I fucked around and left the unsued condoms in mom's car. She mailed them to me a week later. Man, I was like

 

[cli-terminator]

This thread has some good potential for classic comedy & ducktales. Lemme go get some popcorn

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk

 

[Dr. Truth]

Yo...lmbaaaooooooo

 

[4North1Side2]

When I was in my early 20s I borrowed my mother's car to make a booty run to fuck some bitch. I fucked around and left the unsued condoms in mom's car. She mailed them to me a week later. Man, I was like

I remember when my mom went thru my phone reading my text messages and read out loud "I can't wait to give you some head tonight".

Another time I told a co-worker that was playing me that I hung out with another co-worker and had a good time (aka I smashed) so the next day she dressed up and came see me. I complimented her because she was looking bomb and smashed some time after.

I've always seen her with long hair and assumed it was real but when she really got into fuckin, this girl got so comfortable to rip the fake shit out of her head exposing her nearly bald head. Dick almost went into noodle status immediately.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

I was at the bar a couple days ago and bagged my first latina. She's 48, Puerto Rican, 5'3", face nothing to talk about, 36DD tits, lil bubble booty. For a 48 year old her body crushes alot of chicks half her age.

Long story short, she told me she had a 17 year old adopted Son. So when I smashed, even tho it was 5AM in the morning and I didn't know where his room was in the house, I felt bad cuz I knew he had to hear that bedframe banging against the wall and his mom going "aye papi" whatever else she was saying in Spanish.

Well I'm cupcaked with Moms in the bed in the morning and her son just casually walks in the bedroom and holds a conversation with the mom like it's totally normal for him to see his mom with a random dude butt nakid in the bed. I close my eyes playing sleep but his Mom says "this is my son _______ say hi 4north1side2"

I say wasup but that was totally awkward because this kid is damn near a grown man himself. In my head I'm feeling so sorry for this kid and thinking should I say some dumb shit like "yo you play xbox?" but I decide to keep my mouth fuckin shut instead of trying play the friend role.

Well shit gets even more fucking awkward because this dude comes in and out of the room like 5 more fucking times, even one time serving his mom breakfast in bed. This 17 year old friend come over and now they are both in the fucking room now and mom's is screaming at them to get a fuckin job asking me to hook them up so now I'm talking to them about jobs... Oh did I mention there was also a chihuahua in the fucking bed the whole damn time kept trying to lick my face. That lil fucker tried to lick my ass when I was hitting mom's from the back.



I woulda had homegrown but my drunk ass lost my phone in the bar. Chick was experienced as she should of been at her age. She loves to please, sucked on my balls for a good straight 5 minutes while smacking my dick in her face. Told me "put the milk on my titties" She actually took the nut to the face and licked up what she could. Even tho I made her orgasm a few times I could not get her to tap out and I was really trying to kill that tight ass pussy.

At one point she said "go ahead papi, take a break" It was very sexy when I made her cum, she be talking in english and than start speaking in spanish when she hit her peaks. Dead serious she fell in love with me after one day... Telling her fam about me on the phone, saving me a toothbrush for the "next time" I come over, talking about cooking me dinner, and want to see my kids... I feel awful because she is soooooo sweet but I'm getting the hell out of dodge.

now would it have been a different story if she had a daughter rather than a son..?

 

[black again]

I was at the bar a couple days ago and bagged my first latina. She's 48, Puerto Rican, 5'3", face nothing to talk about, 36DD tits, lil bubble booty. For a 48 year old her body crushes alot of chicks half her age.

Long story short, she told me she had a 17 year old adopted Son. So when I smashed, even tho it was 5AM in the morning and I didn't know where his room was in the house, I felt bad cuz I knew he had to hear that bedframe banging against the wall and his mom going "aye papi" whatever else she was saying in Spanish.

Well I'm cupcaked with Moms in the bed in the morning and her son just casually walks in the bedroom and holds a conversation with the mom like it's totally normal for him to see his mom with a random dude butt nakid in the bed. I close my eyes playing sleep but his Mom says "this is my son _______ say hi 4north1side2"

I say wasup but that was totally awkward because this kid is damn near a grown man himself. In my head I'm feeling so sorry for this kid and thinking should I say some dumb shit like "yo you play xbox?" but I decide to keep my mouth fuckin shut instead of trying play the friend role.

Well shit gets even more fucking awkward because this dude comes in and out of the room like 5 more fucking times, even one time serving his mom breakfast in bed. This 17 year old friend come over and now they are both in the fucking room now and mom's is screaming at them to get a fuckin job asking me to hook them up so now I'm talking to them about jobs... Oh did I mention there was also a chihuahua in the fucking bed the whole damn time kept trying to lick my face. That lil fucker tried to lick my ass when I was hitting mom's from the back.



I woulda had homegrown but my drunk ass lost my phone in the bar. Chick was experienced as she should of been at her age. She loves to please, sucked on my balls for a good straight 5 minutes while smacking my dick in her face. Told me "put the milk on my titties" She actually took the nut to the face and licked up what she could. Even tho I made her orgasm a few times I could not get her to tap out and I was really trying to kill that tight ass pussy.

At one point she said "go ahead papi, take a break" It was very sexy when I made her cum, she be talking in english and than start speaking in spanish when she hit her peaks. Dead serious she fell in love with me after one day... Telling her fam about me on the phone, saving me a toothbrush for the "next time" I come over, talking about cooking me dinner, and want to see my kids... I feel awful because she is soooooo sweet but I'm getting the hell out of dodge.

Dood, you're killin me!!

at the dog on the bed..

 

[Amajorfucup]

Well shit gets even more fucking awkward because this dude comes in and out of the room like 5 more fucking times, even one time serving his mom breakfast in bed. This 17 year old friend come over and now they are both in the fucking room now and mom's is screaming at them to get a fuckin job asking me to hook them up so now I'm talking to them about jobs... Oh did I mention there was also a chihuahua in the fucking bed the whole damn time kept trying to lick my face. That lil fucker tried to lick my ass when I was hitting mom's from the back.

I woulda had homegrown but my drunk ass lost my phone in the bar

I was with you until this portion. Now im ready to yell ducktales. Shit just sounds too perfectly hilarious.

 

[Mo-Better]

I was at the bar a couple days ago and bagged my first latina. She's 48, Puerto Rican, 5'3", face nothing to talk about, 36DD tits, lil bubble booty. For a 48 year old her body crushes alot of chicks half her age.

Long story short, she told me she had a 17 year old adopted Son. So when I smashed, even tho it was 5AM in the morning and I didn't know where his room was in the house, I felt bad cuz I knew he had to hear that bedframe banging against the wall and his mom going "aye papi" whatever else she was saying in Spanish.

Well I'm cupcaked with Moms in the bed in the morning and her son just casually walks in the bedroom and holds a conversation with the mom like it's totally normal for him to see his mom with a random dude butt nakid in the bed. I close my eyes playing sleep but his Mom says "this is my son _______ say hi 4north1side2"

I say wasup but that was totally awkward because this kid is damn near a grown man himself. In my head I'm feeling so sorry for this kid and thinking should I say some dumb shit like "yo you play xbox?" but I decide to keep my mouth fuckin shut instead of trying play the friend role.

Well shit gets even more fucking awkward because this dude comes in and out of the room like 5 more fucking times, even one time serving his mom breakfast in bed. This 17 year old friend come over and now they are both in the fucking room now and mom's is screaming at them to get a fuckin job asking me to hook them up so now I'm talking to them about jobs... Oh did I mention there was also a chihuahua in the fucking bed the whole damn time kept trying to lick my face. That lil fucker tried to lick my ass when I was hitting mom's from the back.



I woulda had homegrown but my drunk ass lost my phone in the bar. Chick was experienced as she should of been at her age. She loves to please, sucked on my balls for a good straight 5 minutes while smacking my dick in her face. Told me "put the milk on my titties" She actually took the nut to the face and licked up what she could. Even tho I made her orgasm a few times I could not get her to tap out and I was really trying to kill that tight ass pussy.

At one point she said "go ahead papi, take a break" It was very sexy when I made her cum, she be talking in english and than start speaking in spanish when she hit her peaks. Dead serious she fell in love with me after one day... Telling her fam about me on the phone, saving me a toothbrush for the "next time" I come over, talking about cooking me dinner, and want to see my kids... I feel awful because she is soooooo sweet but I'm getting the hell out of dodge.

This s/b a scene in a comedy this story is hilarious.

 

[dasailr03]

man.. ya'll ain't neva lied... i was on the floor with the line.. "this is my son _______ say hi 4north1side2"... man. ya'll got jokes for real...

 

[Mo-Better]

Mom's out of town which usually means Dad's ALWAYS anywhere but home. Whenever mom is out of town he stays gone.

So I bring this chick in all's well we had been at it off and on for a couple of hours then I hear a key in the front door. Its like 1:00 am. Now I've got a naked chick in my bedroom and pops walking through the house. Not good! So he comes in goes to the kitchen then checks in on me by now she's in the closet all seems cool except her high heels and panties lying beside the bed, bra half exposed on the bed.

Fortunately for my dumb ass he had been drinking a lot, that maybe why he never noticed her stuff on the floor. He got ready for bed and I told him I was going run out for a sandwich. By now she's was dressed, I got her out of there and took her home.

To this day I don't know how she got into that tight closet with all the crap I had in there. But I still wonder if he just cut me some slack that night. That was the last time I ever brought a chick home.

 

[Simply_Black]

* Waiting for the spin off thread*

 

[smiffnwessun]

I call bullshit but I actually had several experiences that are mildly similar

 

[yureeka9]

I remember when my mom went thru my phone reading my text messages and read out loud "I can't wait to give you some head tonight".

Another time I told a co-worker that was playing me that I hung out with another co-worker and had a good time (aka I smashed) so the next day she dressed up and came see me. I complimented her because she was looking bomb and smashed some time after.

I've always seen her with long hair and assumed it was real but when she really got into fuckin, this girl got so comfortable to rip the fake shit out of her head exposing her nearly bald head. Dick almost went into noodle status immediately.

Aww hell naw! I had a similar experience with a chick that was wearing some kind spider piece on her head that looked like mini twists. It was just like this:

I was fuckin that ho and that thing pealed back and I saw straight bald head with some sprigs of hair here and there. I was like . I wound up having to dismiss that chick on a deception charge!

 

[MadWun]

Just wondering how OP is a married man, and has many tales of hanging out at bars pretty frequently till wee hours of the night, and chilling at jumpoffs houses till morning hours.

Just my 0.02 cents.

Do you though...

Do you wonder what your wife might be doing on all these lonely nights

 

[8/11Streetz]

* Waiting for the spin off thread*

no spin off pleeeeez

well hear is my story


So i met this lil white shorty through facebook through mutual friends or whatever when i was working overseas. We stayed in touch and soon as i got home we chilled and kicked it just on some friend type shit. Now on FB she had pics up but they didnt show her body off at all but when we meet up in person i was like got damn this bitch got a nice body. Only thing that would turn me off in a heart beat was her fucking NOSE! I dont know if this is a Romanian thing or what but this bitch nose look like the size of a door knob. Anyway i still had no plans on fucking her i just kept her around cuz she would spend money on me nothing major just take me out to eat cop me a few xbox games shit like that. I kinda felt her putting her bid in but i would keep her at a distance. So one lazy sunday afternoon im chilling playing the game i get this text from Hook Nose talking about she bored and if she could come over. Of course i tell her yea but even when she got there im paying her no mind. She ask can she use my laptop so im like go head i forgot i had my external hooked up to my shit, it was open and it just so happen to be on my smut files. She asked me about it and i told Hook Nose the truth "girl i love flicks" she laughed. So i turn around start playing my game while im playing the game i notices this bitch gets under the covers and gets mad comfortable. I also notice she moving around a lot. I ALSO NOTICE THE PORN STILL ON. So i look at her and im like what are you doing. I lifted up the blanket to see this bitches pants and panties down to her ankles and her hand over her pussy. Instantly i get harder then i bitch but i swear to god fam every time i look at her face and that nose my dick went limp. I mean seriously it was so bad i look at that pretty lil pussy and im ROCKED up then soon as i look up instant softness I knew from the jump this was going to be a challenge. While im thinking about how ima avoid this bitch nose she asked me can she suck my dick while she play with her self so i walks over to the side of the bed with a semi and she started sucking me off. Now the whole time she doing this im looking at her body trying to stay hard. It was like i couldnt even enjoy the head cuz im thinking if i look at her face im done for. So now she hot and ready for me to bust her pussy open so i go to my drawer grab a rubber and give her the two thigh tap (you know the tap when you want your girl to role over n get in doggy style position) but she like i want you to get on top of me i cum quicker that way. So im like man ima have to close my eyes the whole time. Even with the lights off the light from the windows still was enough to see that big devastation. Then another problem occurred for the life of me i could not get inside this bitch pussy for nothing. I seriously was just ramming and cramming for about 15 mins. This bitch was super tight. The more i rammed it in the louder she was screaming shit wasnt even sexy at all. It sound like i was raping the bitch. The combination of her nose and them screams i lost it. I finally was in the pussy but i can feel my hard on sliding into the realms of oblivion

She was like no no no put it back in i was on the verge of saying fuck it but then this bitch slide down to my dick took the condom off and started sucking like wild banshee. I was back ready to go in 60 seconds so i grabbed another condom and toss this bitch on her stomach and made her arch that back and slammed my shit in there. This bitch howled like it was a fucking full moon out. I was doing my thing until she turned around i was like fuck so i grabbed her head and shoved it in the pillow before i lost my hard on. She was complaining about not being able to breath so i let her up for air i was just hoping she wouldnt turn around. Finally after her shit loosen up i finally started to enjoy it but then this bitc pushes me out of her and flips over im like wtf! She says she can feel her self about to come but wont be able to unless im on top im like fuck! So i close my eyes slide back in and guess what the shit supper tight again! So after ramming my shit in there i gets back in i swear my eyes started to hurt i was closing them so tight. Now im thinking let this bitch come then i can come and fucking end this nightmare. Im fucking and i feel like im bout to explode then this bitch cums and threw my shit off because she made one of thee most ugliest moans i ever heard in my fucking life! I went from hard to a semi but by this point i was fed up and pissed off. So i just started ramming the hell outta this bitch. I was fucking her like she owe me lunch! Now she hollering to the top of her lungs. She talking nasty as fuck and all i want to do is nut so i can go to sleep. Then this bitch said come in my mouth................That was probably the best moment of that whole entire fuck because that shit got me so hype. I pulled out took the condom off crawled up to her face and let her jack me off now this is where i gets even funnier/weird. I bust one of the heaviest nuts of my laugh that shit shot out like a supersoaker and went past her mouth and right up her big dumb ass NOSE All i heard was oh my god its all in my nose i reached over to turn on the lamp all i see is her jumping up and blowing cum out her nose........

This shit was the most awkward sex i every had i cant even say i enjoyed most of it until the nut. ​

 

[jwilliam85]

Just wondering how OP is a married man, and has many tales of hanging out at bars pretty frequently till wee hours of the night, and chilling at jumpoffs houses till morning hours.

Just my 0.02 cents.

Do you though...

Do you wonder what your wife might be doing on all these lonely nights

 

[Cock Head Jones]

 

[jasonblacc]

Nigga you dam well there aint no Puerto Ricans in Pittsburgh.

 

[SmoothD]

Winter of 1988. Home on military leave chilling out with my brother and a small bar. Brother notice the older honey (30-35) checking me out. I was 22 at the time. Long story short, we hook up and go back to her place. Just chatting and she asks what I am doing tomorrow. Told her I was going to visits my Pops in ____________. She likes, I know a few people down there, whats his name? I say _________________. She says I know him. Homegirl pulls out a photo album with my Pops and her all hugged up and shit. Needless to say , shit went downhill from there after I found out Pops had been digging out guts .

 

[brickdome]

Winter of 1988. Home on military leave chilling out with my brother and a small bar. Brother notice the older honey (30-35) checking me out. I was 22 at the time. Long story short, we hook up and go back to here place. Just chatting and she asks what I am doing tomorrow. Told her I was going to visits my Pops in ____________. She likes, I know a few people down there, whats his name? I say _________________. She says I know him. Homegirl pulls out a photo album with my Pops and her all hugged up and shit. Needless to say , shit went downhill from there after I found out Pops had been digging out guts .

 

[8/11Streetz]

Winter of 1988. Home on military leave chilling out with my brother and a small bar. Brother notice the older honey (30-35) checking me out. I was 22 at the time. Long story short, we hook up and go back to here place. Just chatting and she asks what I am doing tomorrow. Told her I was going to visits my Pops in ____________. She likes, I know a few people down there, whats his name? I say _________________. She says I know him. Homegirl pulls out a photo album with my Pops and her all hugged up and shit. Needless to say , shit went downhill from there after I found out Pops had been digging out guts .

sounds like your pops was a rolling stone

 

[4North1Side2]

Aww hell naw! I had a similar experience with a chick that was wearing some kind spider piece on her head that looked like mini twists. It was just like this:

I was fuckin that ho and that thing pealed back and I saw straight bald head with some sprigs of hair here and there. I was like . I wound up having to dismiss that chick on a deception charge!

LOL!

Just wondering how OP is a married man, and has many tales of hanging out at bars pretty frequently till wee hours of the night, and chilling at jumpoffs houses till morning hours.

Just my 0.02 cents.

Do you though...

Do you wonder what your wife might be doing on all these lonely nights

No, she's watching the kids. If your insinuating that she is looking for love elsewhere, I don't care I hope she does. lol seriously

no spin off pleeeeez

well hear is my story


So i met this lil white shorty through facebook through mutual friends or whatever when i was working overseas. We stayed in touch and soon as i got home we chilled and kicked it just on some friend type shit. Now on FB she had pics up but they didnt show her body off at all but when we meet up in person i was like got damn this bitch got a nice body. Only thing that would turn me off in a heart beat was her fucking NOSE! I dont know if this is a Romanian thing or what but this bitch nose look like the size of a door knob. Anyway i still had no plans on fucking her i just kept her around cuz she would spend money on me nothing major just take me out to eat cop me a few xbox games shit like that. I kinda felt her putting her bid in but i would keep her at a distance. So one lazy sunday afternoon im chilling playing the game i get this text from Hook Nose talking about she bored and if she could come over. Of course i tell her yea but even when she got there im paying her no mind. She ask can she use my laptop so im like go head i forgot i had my external hooked up to my shit, it was open and it just so happen to be on my smut files. She asked me about it and i told Hook Nose the truth "girl i love flicks" she laughed. So i turn around start playing my game while im playing the game i notices this bitch gets under the covers and gets mad comfortable. I also notice she moving around a lot. I ALSO NOTICE THE PORN STILL ON. So i look at her and im like what are you doing. I lifted up the blanket to see this bitches pants and panties down to her ankles and her hand over her pussy. Instantly i get harder then i bitch but i swear to god fam every time i look at her face and that nose my dick went limp. I mean seriously it was so bad i look at that pretty lil pussy and im ROCKED up then soon as i look up instant softness I knew from the jump this was going to be a challenge. While im thinking about how ima avoid this bitch nose she asked me can she suck my dick while she play with her self so i walks over to the side of the bed with a semi and she started sucking me off. Now the whole time she doing this im looking at her body trying to stay hard. It was like i couldnt even enjoy the head cuz im thinking if i look at her face im done for. So now she hot and ready for me to bust her pussy open so i go to my drawer grab a rubber and give her the two thigh tap (you know the tap when you want your girl to role over n get in doggy style position) but she like i want you to get on top of me i cum quicker that way. So im like man ima have to close my eyes the whole time. Even with the lights off the light from the windows still was enough to see that big devastation. Then another problem occurred for the life of me i could not get inside this bitch pussy for nothing. I seriously was just ramming and cramming for about 15 mins. This bitch was super tight. The more i rammed it in the louder she was screaming shit wasnt even sexy at all. It sound like i was raping the bitch. The combination of her nose and them screams i lost it. I finally was in the pussy but i can feel my hard on sliding into the realms of oblivion

She was like no no no put it back in i was on the verge of saying fuck it but then this bitch slide down to my dick took the condom off and started sucking like wild banshee. I was back ready to go in 60 seconds so i grabbed another condom and toss this bitch on her stomach and made her arch that back and slammed my shit in there. This bitch howled like it was a fucking full moon out. I was doing my thing until she turned around i was like fuck so i grabbed her head and shoved it in the pillow before i lost my hard on. She was complaining about not being able to breath so i let her up for air i was just hoping she wouldnt turn around. Finally after her shit loosen up i finally started to enjoy it but then this bitc pushes me out of her and flips over im like wtf! She says she can feel her self about to come but wont be able to unless im on top im like fuck! So i close my eyes slide back in and guess what the shit supper tight again! So after ramming my shit in there i gets back in i swear my eyes started to hurt i was closing them so tight. Now im thinking let this bitch come then i can come and fucking end this nightmare. Im fucking and i feel like im bout to explode then this bitch cums and threw my shit off because she made one of thee most ugliest moans i ever heard in my fucking life! I went from hard to a semi but by this point i was fed up and pissed off. So i just started ramming the hell outta this bitch. I was fucking her like she owe me lunch! Now she hollering to the top of her lungs. She talking nasty as fuck and all i want to do is nut so i can go to sleep. Then this bitch said come in my mouth................That was probably the best moment of that whole entire fuck because that shit got me so hype. I pulled out took the condom off crawled up to her face and let her jack me off now this is where i gets even funnier/weird. I bust one of the heaviest nuts of my laugh that shit shot out like a supersoaker and went past her mouth and right up her big dumb ass NOSE All i heard was oh my god its all in my nose i reached over to turn on the lamp all i see is her jumping up and blowing cum out her nose........

This shit was the most awkward sex i every had i cant even say i enjoyed most of it until the nut. ​

That actually sounded like a good ass time!

 

[CybaCipha]

sub'd

 

[4North1Side2]

Nigga you dam well there aint no Puerto Ricans in Pittsburgh.

Which is why even tho she is 23 years olders than I why I wanted to smash, I hardly encounter Latino's here and when I do they all fuck with white dudes only.

She from NY, moved to Cleveland, and now settled in Pittsburgh.

Winter of 1988. Home on military leave chilling out with my brother and a small bar. Brother notice the older honey (30-35) checking me out. I was 22 at the time. Long story short, we hook up and go back to her place. Just chatting and she asks what I am doing tomorrow. Told her I was going to visits my Pops in ____________. She likes, I know a few people down there, whats his name? I say _________________. She says I know him. Homegirl pulls out a photo album with my Pops and her all hugged up and shit. Needless to say , shit went downhill from there after I found out Pops had been digging out guts .

I can see that happening to my myself as well lol...

 

[kinglickk]

Just wondering how OP is a married man, and has many tales of hanging out at bars pretty frequently till wee hours of the night, and chilling at jumpoffs houses till morning hours.

Just my 0.02 cents.

Do you though...

Do you wonder what your wife might be doing on all these lonely nights

why u tryna blow up my spot! Now the mofo gonna want to stay home a ruin my fun with his freak!!

 

[MadWun]

no spin off pleeeeez

well hear is my story


So i met this lil white shorty through facebook through mutual friends or whatever when i was working overseas. We stayed in touch and soon as i got home we chilled and kicked it just on some friend type shit. Now on FB she had pics up but they didnt show her body off at all but when we meet up in person i was like got damn this bitch got a nice body. Only thing that would turn me off in a heart beat was her fucking NOSE! I dont know if this is a Romanian thing or what but this bitch nose look like the size of a door knob. Anyway i still had no plans on fucking her i just kept her around cuz she would spend money on me nothing major just take me out to eat cop me a few xbox games shit like that. I kinda felt her putting her bid in but i would keep her at a distance. So one lazy sunday afternoon im chilling playing the game i get this text from Hook Nose talking about she bored and if she could come over. Of course i tell her yea but even when she got there im paying her no mind. She ask can she use my laptop so im like go head i forgot i had my external hooked up to my shit, it was open and it just so happen to be on my smut files. She asked me about it and i told Hook Nose the truth "girl i love flicks" she laughed. So i turn around start playing my game while im playing the game i notices this bitch gets under the covers and gets mad comfortable. I also notice she moving around a lot. I ALSO NOTICE THE PORN STILL ON. So i look at her and im like what are you doing. I lifted up the blanket to see this bitches pants and panties down to her ankles and her hand over her pussy. Instantly i get harder then i bitch but i swear to god fam every time i look at her face and that nose my dick went limp. I mean seriously it was so bad i look at that pretty lil pussy and im ROCKED up then soon as i look up instant softness I knew from the jump this was going to be a challenge. While im thinking about how ima avoid this bitch nose she asked me can she suck my dick while she play with her self so i walks over to the side of the bed with a semi and she started sucking me off. Now the whole time she doing this im looking at her body trying to stay hard. It was like i couldnt even enjoy the head cuz im thinking if i look at her face im done for. So now she hot and ready for me to bust her pussy open so i go to my drawer grab a rubber and give her the two thigh tap (you know the tap when you want your girl to role over n get in doggy style position) but she like i want you to get on top of me i cum quicker that way. So im like man ima have to close my eyes the whole time. Even with the lights off the light from the windows still was enough to see that big devastation. Then another problem occurred for the life of me i could not get inside this bitch pussy for nothing. I seriously was just ramming and cramming for about 15 mins. This bitch was super tight. The more i rammed it in the louder she was screaming shit wasnt even sexy at all. It sound like i was raping the bitch. The combination of her nose and them screams i lost it. I finally was in the pussy but i can feel my hard on sliding into the realms of oblivion

She was like no no no put it back in i was on the verge of saying fuck it but then this bitch slide down to my dick took the condom off and started sucking like wild banshee. I was back ready to go in 60 seconds so i grabbed another condom and toss this bitch on her stomach and made her arch that back and slammed my shit in there. This bitch howled like it was a fucking full moon out. I was doing my thing until she turned around i was like fuck so i grabbed her head and shoved it in the pillow before i lost my hard on. She was complaining about not being able to breath so i let her up for air i was just hoping she wouldnt turn around. Finally after her shit loosen up i finally started to enjoy it but then this bitc pushes me out of her and flips over im like wtf! She says she can feel her self about to come but wont be able to unless im on top im like fuck! So i close my eyes slide back in and guess what the shit supper tight again! So after ramming my shit in there i gets back in i swear my eyes started to hurt i was closing them so tight. Now im thinking let this bitch come then i can come and fucking end this nightmare. Im fucking and i feel like im bout to explode then this bitch cums and threw my shit off because she made one of thee most ugliest moans i ever heard in my fucking life! I went from hard to a semi but by this point i was fed up and pissed off. So i just started ramming the hell outta this bitch. I was fucking her like she owe me lunch! Now she hollering to the top of her lungs. She talking nasty as fuck and all i want to do is nut so i can go to sleep. Then this bitch said come in my mouth................That was probably the best moment of that whole entire fuck because that shit got me so hype. I pulled out took the condom off crawled up to her face and let her jack me off now this is where i gets even funnier/weird. I bust one of the heaviest nuts of my laugh that shit shot out like a supersoaker and went past her mouth and right up her big dumb ass NOSE All i heard was oh my god its all in my nose i reached over to turn on the lamp all i see is her jumping up and blowing cum out her nose........

This shit was the most awkward sex i every had i cant even say i enjoyed most of it until the nut. ​

 

[Atoosa]

Met this chick at a club. She was hot as hell. Didn't think she was down but she was. Went back to my place with me. We talk get her to laughing, and pretty much when I can do that the draws is mine. We start talking about sex which led to kissing, we naked and fucking...which swich to doggy when my stomach bubbles....oh fuck, do I stop and say I gotta go to the bathroom? No, I keep fucking but now I'm afraid that I'm going to crap my self....she is into it and I'm banging away praying I don't crap, then out of nowhere I farted so loud it echoed.....of course all motion stopped...she looked back at me with this I don't beleive this shit face ...then busted out laughing......I was so embarrassed...it ranked too. So we had to move downstairs. She clowned my ass until we fell asleep. But we had great sex that morning before she left....we are still friends to this day and she brings it up each time we communicate...I should have married her...but me and my dick always fucking good things up.

 

[jasonblacc]

Which is why even tho she is 23 years olders than I why I wanted to smash, I hardly encounter Latino's here and when I do they all fuck with white dudes only.

She from NY, moved to Cleveland, and now settled in Pittsburgh.



I can see that happening to my myself as well lol...

Hook nogga up wit a sister cousin something

 

[4North1Side2]

Met this chick at a club. She was hot as hell. Didn't think she was down but she was. Went back to my place with me. We talk get her to laughing, and pretty much when I can do that the draws is mine. We start talking about sex which led to kissing, we naked and fucking...which swich to doggy when my stomach bubbles....oh fuck, do I stop and say I gotta go to the bathroom? No, I keep fucking but now I'm afraid that I'm going to crap my self....she is into it and I'm banging away praying I don't crap, then out of nowhere I farted so loud it echoed.....of course all motion stopped...she looked back at me with this I don't beleive this shit face ...then busted out laughing......I was so embarrassed...it ranked too. So we had to move downstairs. She clowned my ass until we fell asleep. But we had great sex that morning before she left....we are still friends to this day and she brings it up each time we communicate...I should have married her...but me and my dick always fucking good things up.

Hook nogga up wit a sister cousin something

All she has is a niece but she boo'd up.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

Well shit gets even more fucking awkward because this dude comes in and out of the room like 5 more fucking times, even one time serving his mom breakfast in bed.

I was with you until this portion. Now im ready to yell ducktales. Shit just sounds too perfectly hilarious.

that kind of reminds me of this movie

 

[Coldchi]

i was in college.....had finally bagged a bitch i had been itchin to get at for months. we flippin in and out various positions,....diggin them guts out. i decide to turn on the lights, cuz i wanna see that ass jiggle as im hittin it from the back. i decide to spread the cheeks open while im strokin to get deeper penetration....and all i could see was shit juice around her asshole. my dick immediately became soft as baby powder, i was nauseous. i damn near threw up on her back. she asked me why did i stop? of course i hit her with a quick excuse....."the condom popped and i dont have any more." as sexy as she was, i never look at her the same again. everytime i saw her on the yard....all i could think of was.....you nasty bitch.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

no spin off pleeeeez

well hear is my story


So i met this lil white shorty through facebook through mutual friends or whatever when i was working overseas. We stayed in touch and soon as i got home we chilled and kicked it just on some friend type shit. Now on FB she had pics up but they didnt show her body off at all but when we meet up in person i was like got damn this bitch got a nice body. Only thing that would turn me off in a heart beat was her fucking NOSE! I dont know if this is a Romanian thing or what but this bitch nose look like the size of a door knob. Anyway i still had no plans on fucking her i just kept her around cuz she would spend money on me nothing major just take me out to eat cop me a few xbox games shit like that. I kinda felt her putting her bid in but i would keep her at a distance. So one lazy sunday afternoon im chilling playing the game i get this text from Hook Nose talking about she bored and if she could come over. Of course i tell her yea but even when she got there im paying her no mind. She ask can she use my laptop so im like go head i forgot i had my external hooked up to my shit, it was open and it just so happen to be on my smut files. She asked me about it and i told Hook Nose the truth "girl i love flicks" she laughed. So i turn around start playing my game while im playing the game i notices this bitch gets under the covers and gets mad comfortable. I also notice she moving around a lot. I ALSO NOTICE THE PORN STILL ON. So i look at her and im like what are you doing. I lifted up the blanket to see this bitches pants and panties down to her ankles and her hand over her pussy. Instantly i get harder then i bitch but i swear to god fam every time i look at her face and that nose my dick went limp. I mean seriously it was so bad i look at that pretty lil pussy and im ROCKED up then soon as i look up instant softness I knew from the jump this was going to be a challenge. While im thinking about how ima avoid this bitch nose she asked me can she suck my dick while she play with her self so i walks over to the side of the bed with a semi and she started sucking me off. Now the whole time she doing this im looking at her body trying to stay hard. It was like i couldnt even enjoy the head cuz im thinking if i look at her face im done for. So now she hot and ready for me to bust her pussy open so i go to my drawer grab a rubber and give her the two thigh tap (you know the tap when you want your girl to role over n get in doggy style position) but she like i want you to get on top of me i cum quicker that way. So im like man ima have to close my eyes the whole time. Even with the lights off the light from the windows still was enough to see that big devastation. Then another problem occurred for the life of me i could not get inside this bitch pussy for nothing. I seriously was just ramming and cramming for about 15 mins. This bitch was super tight. The more i rammed it in the louder she was screaming shit wasnt even sexy at all. It sound like i was raping the bitch. The combination of her nose and them screams i lost it. I finally was in the pussy but i can feel my hard on sliding into the realms of oblivion

She was like no no no put it back in i was on the verge of saying fuck it but then this bitch slide down to my dick took the condom off and started sucking like wild banshee. I was back ready to go in 60 seconds so i grabbed another condom and toss this bitch on her stomach and made her arch that back and slammed my shit in there. This bitch howled like it was a fucking full moon out. I was doing my thing until she turned around i was like fuck so i grabbed her head and shoved it in the pillow before i lost my hard on. She was complaining about not being able to breath so i let her up for air i was just hoping she wouldnt turn around. Finally after her shit loosen up i finally started to enjoy it but then this bitc pushes me out of her and flips over im like wtf! She says she can feel her self about to come but wont be able to unless im on top im like fuck! So i close my eyes slide back in and guess what the shit supper tight again! So after ramming my shit in there i gets back in i swear my eyes started to hurt i was closing them so tight. Now im thinking let this bitch come then i can come and fucking end this nightmare. Im fucking and i feel like im bout to explode then this bitch cums and threw my shit off because she made one of thee most ugliest moans i ever heard in my fucking life! I went from hard to a semi but by this point i was fed up and pissed off. So i just started ramming the hell outta this bitch. I was fucking her like she owe me lunch! Now she hollering to the top of her lungs. She talking nasty as fuck and all i want to do is nut so i can go to sleep. Then this bitch said come in my mouth................That was probably the best moment of that whole entire fuck because that shit got me so hype. I pulled out took the condom off crawled up to her face and let her jack me off now this is where i gets even funnier/weird. I bust one of the heaviest nuts of my laugh that shit shot out like a supersoaker and went past her mouth and right up her big dumb ass NOSE All i heard was oh my god its all in my nose i reached over to turn on the lamp all i see is her jumping up and blowing cum out her nose........

This shit was the most awkward sex i every had i cant even say i enjoyed most of it until the nut. ​

she mustve had the Luscious Lopez/Sara Jay-type nose