Women with kids..need an opinion

[hypster63]

OK

Here's the situation. My girlfriend has a 2 grown kids 21 and 26, and a 13 year old son. The kid's father has 3 other grown kids and spends no time with him. This kid is very disrespectful towards me and other adults, mouthing off at school to teachers etc.

We recently came back from our trip to Jamacia and I had some words with him about his mouth and I was telling his mom about checking him and how about this little bastard cusses me out in the airport customs area with everybody staring and shit! His mom just stood there yelling at him but not much more.

I wanted to put my foot in his ass but thats a lose lose situation for me. I love this woman but im not dealing with her kid and I told her that. Should I walk away from this mess?

Thanks for the input (and let the clowing begin..cause you know how they do on here! lol)

 

[KW13537]

yes

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

OK

Here's the situation. My girlfriend has a 2 grown kids 21 and 26, and a 13 year old son. The kid's father has 3 other grown kids and spends no time with him. This kid is very disrespectful towards me and other adults, mouthing off at school to teachers etc.

We recently came back from our trip to Jamacia and I had some words with him about his mouth and I was telling his mom about checking him and how about this little bastard cusses me out in the airport customs area with everybody staring and shit! His mom just stood there yelling at him but not much more.

I wanted to put my foot in his ass but thats a lose lose situation for me. I love this woman but im not dealing with her kid and I told her that. Should I walk away from this mess?

Thanks for the input (and let the clowing begin..cause you know how they do on here! lol)

Ultimatum time. Let me be a father. Or i can't be with you.

 

[melonpecan]

I just went through this with some family because this person does not have an adequate parent.

You can't force his dad to be there for him but he has his mother and he has you (presuming you want this relationship to go further with his mother).



Maybe the three of you could have some activities together to break some ice and share concerns.

I mean if his mother can't discipline him and you value the relationship you either have to take matters into your own hands or walk away.

But state upfront to your girlfriend that if you don't do it, don't get mad if I do.

 

[Daddy43205]

leave, having kids and not being the the babydaddy is a sign of irresponsibility in my book

 

[HoneyDip]

if u really love her and see ya'll relationship bein more than what it is stick it out. her sons attitude towards you might change if he see that your not going anywhere. he already has some feelings about not having his dad around especially at that age when u need a dad most as a teenage boy. he may not wanna get attached just yet because he may be scared that u gonna do the same thing the dads doing. but u gotta try to get involved more with him. take him out on some one on one activities so he can see u really tryin to get to know him and build a relationship.

 

[nukdollars]

Ultimatum time. Let me be a father. Or i can't be with you.

 

[sirrcharrles]

13 and cussing at adults? You are better than me! At that age, it will only get worse. My advice to you bro is have a serious talk with the mother and let her know that if you choose to pursue the relationship, her son will have to stay in his place even if you have to put him there. If not, do not walk, but run!

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[TurellSmith]

Unless you have kids yourself you really shouldn't be dealing with a woman that does.


It's going to break your heart one day when one of those little nuckas say some shit like "you can't tell me what to do you are not my daddy."

Do you have kids yourself? Did you pay for that trip to Jamaica? Did she? or Did you split it?

 

[hypster63]

Yeah I paid for the trip to jamacia and other places. I've doneva lot forvthis kid like take him on is first plane ride, bought him a laptop that he fuckin destroyed by the way.....so I've been there for 3 years now, and i told her a long time ago to check him or I will, but she not firm with him and I'm old school where you always respected adults.

 

[melonpecan]

Yeah I paid for the trip to jamacia and other places. I've doneva lot forvthis kid like take him on is first plane ride, bought him a laptop that he fuckin destroyed by the way.....so I've been there for 3 years now, and i told her a long time ago to check him or I will, but she not firm with him and I'm old school where you always respected adults.

Then check him.

I don't want to get into female semantics cause this chick should be long past playing the wait and game - games period - so do what you gotta do to teach the youngin' some manners. If the momma can't deal with it, bounce. Or you might be the answer to her prayers

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Then check him.

I don't want to get into female semantics cause this chick should be long past playing the wait and game - games period - so do what you gotta do to teach the youngin' some manners. If the momma can't deal with it, bounce. Or you might be the answer to her prayers

If she DOESN'T deal with it she DEFINITELY shouldn't be the woman for him. You can't have a man in your house then gets all huffy when he disciplines and corrects the kid.

Hate that crap. You wanna be a family, you want this man in your life, but only to a certain extent lookin asses.

You can't have a husband and a NOT father. It just doesn't WORK that way. And if you don't want a man to scold the boy properly then you don't need to be with a man.

PERIOD.

 

[djpolo]

If she DOESN'T deal with it she DEFINITELY shouldn't be the woman for him. You can't have a man in your house then gets all huffy when he disciplines and corrects the kid.

Hate that crap. You wanna be a family, you want this man in your life, but only to a certain extent lookin asses.

You can't have a husband and a NOT father. It just doesn't WORK that way. And if you don't want a man to scold the boy properly then you don't need to be with a man.

PERIOD.

What he said. A buddy of mine had a simular situation. She was cool with taking his money but didnt want him handling her kids. Bump that. I dont tolerate disrespectful kids. Ole girl needs to appreciate the fact that you are trying to help her with that demon seed.

 

[KW13537]

If she DOESN'T deal with it she DEFINITELY shouldn't be the woman for him. You can't have a man in your house then gets all huffy when he disciplines and corrects the kid.

Hate that crap. You wanna be a family, you want this man in your life, but only to a certain extent lookin asses.

You can't have a husband and a NOT father. It just doesn't WORK that way. And if you don't want a man to scold the boy properly then you don't need to be with a man.

PERIOD.

^^^^^^^That's all that needs to be said^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

[melonpecan]

If she DOESN'T deal with it she DEFINITELY shouldn't be the woman for him. You can't have a man in your house then gets all huffy when he disciplines and corrects the kid.

Hate that crap. You wanna be a family, you want this man in your life, but only to a certain extent lookin asses.

You can't have a husband and a NOT father. It just doesn't WORK that way. And if you don't want a man to scold the boy properly then you don't need to be with a man.

PERIOD.

While I totally agree with you, I know of the 'games' that might be going on with this woman in trying to find a man to deal with her and her child. Not saying it's right to put this man through that shit but... oh well.


I try to give people I don't know the benefit of the doubt because I can't possibly know both sides of the tale. Like I said earlier I don't want to go into the games but LI I do agree with you.

 

[HoneyDip]

Yeah I paid for the trip to jamacia and other places. I've doneva lot forvthis kid like take him on is first plane ride, bought him a laptop that he fuckin destroyed by the way.....so I've been there for 3 years now, and i told her a long time ago to check him or I will, but she not firm with him and I'm old school where you always respected adults.

Well in that case u definitely need to let her know that if your gonna be around u should be allowed to check him if she wont. She should understand that as a female mother especially if she wants you around and knows that he's a handful. She should be happy that someone is willing to put in the work. Or she needs to step her game up and check him herself if she values you bein around

 

[Flawless]

you got 5 more years till he is 18 and chances he will be living with his mom in till his late 20's, If I were you I would bounce, but if you dont want to do that any type of interaction you have with her should be at your house so you dont have to deal with any of the kids.